Replies to reviews:

Secretwrittenword: Poor Dean, I just keep throwing him into nightmares, and Sarah keeps bringing him back with a kiss. Now, Dean knew he dreamt the one before, but the question remains... Did he dream this one too? Thanks for the review.

Ncsupnatfan: Thanks for the review; I am glad you liked it, especially the ending.

Blondie20000: Glad you liked Harry, he is so adorably forgetful. And yeah, it finally happened. Thanks for the review.

Summer: I will never say that out loud. But I can write it. Thank you. For the review. LOL. I loved that review, really. Had me laughing. So thank you again. For sending over the angstiest Dean Story I have ever read.


Chapter 22: Since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Julia's was staring at Sam, her mouth slightly ajar, her brows frowning, her expression utterly baffled. Like she did not believe a word Sam said, like she couldn't grasp it all. Finally, after what seemed like minutes, Julia started blinking and regained some composure before opening her mouth to speak. But as soon as she opened it, she closed it back up, uncertain of what she wanted to say, to ask, where to even start.

"OK, so Leviathans – the biblical Leviathans." She said like she was naming an item on the list. "And... They came from Purgatory – the biblical purgatory?" Julia was establishing the basics. "And they possessed Dick Roman?" Now that was an actual question.

"No, they, um... Most likely ate him and their leader took his place..." Sam explained again, not sure if he should just go over it all once again for good measure. But Julia nodded in understanding and then kept listing things.

"Ok, so he... They... Overtook Roman Industries and... Put some mind numbing drugs in our food to... What, make their food more compliant?" Sam could see she was slowly coming to terms with it, so he just nodded, allowing her to continue. The more Julia frowned as she spoke, the more questions she asked and the more doubts she displayed, the more depressed Sam got. Well, maybe not completely depressed, it would be more like something between depression and self-loath with a side of guilt. Because after they 'took care of' Roman, they left the whole company just fall apart, people didn't even know what happened to most of the employees and the CEO.

No, not they. He. He let that happen. He went away and got involved with Amelia and forgot about his brother and about the family business and... And about Kevin too. Yeah, he left him to be hunted by Crowley and what did he do? He fixed air-conditioners in a cheap motel somewhere and had picnics outside in the nature and...

Sam Winchester hit a dog.

Sam leaned forward in his chair, took his hands and burried his head in them, sighing heavily. In his life he did a few things right, but so many wrong. He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at Julia who was sitting in the chair opposite. She had a small but very comforting smile and was looking at him with those dark brown eyes that bore some strange warmth. But could he affor to get lost in a woman's eyes once again?

"Bottom line is that you took care of the bad guy and that's all that matters." Despite not knowing why exactly was Sam feeling blue, Julia seemed to know just the right thing to say to make him stop thinking about the past and start thinking about the present. Ok, so nobody is coming back any time soon and they have no transportation out of there. There is still the option of the radio. Or that Dean will find them, somehow.

"Yeah…" Sam responded meekly and with a forced smile while looking around the room. Finding nothing there but files in file cabinets and paper and office supplies, he turned to Juls. "You found anything interesting?"

"Actually I did!" Julia said excitedly, jumping out of her chair. Listening to Sam go on about Leviathans and Dick Roman almost made her forget about her find. "I found the jacks I need for the radio, an additional antenna aaaaandddd…" There was a mischievous spark in her eyes and a devilish smirk on her lips that kinda had Sam worried there for a minute.

"Cherries!" She finally exclaimed and all it did was make Sam look at her with clear confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"Cherries… You know, as in the fruit. I found a box filled with canned cherries. Oh, and pineapples too." Julia spoke as if she struck gold with that find and Sam had to huff a smile at her excitement.

"All right… Anything else?" He asked with both brows raised, knowing that if there was anything of real importance, Julia would have said so already. So if she did find anything more, it would only serve to lift their spirits and nothing else. Still, seeing her smile and get a bit excited about something as trivial as canned fruit brought some warmth to Sam's heart.

It might have had to do with her little goofy child-like innocence she displayed sometimes, that playfulness that seemed to draw him, but Sam knew that she too was trying so hard to keep it together, if her previous actions were anything to go by. So he played along, he played along for her sake and for his. At the end of the day, they needed each other, each other was all they had. That, and cherries now too, apparently.

"Oh, yea… I did find an interesting little box. Has something interesting in it. But I am not going to tell you what it is. It is a secret." Julia said with a wicked smile, making Sam smile again too as he play-pretended to roll his eyes. He said nothing, but Julia kept talking as if he was pushing to know what the box contained.

"No, nope, not gonna tell ya. It is my secret to keep and when I decide to share it with you, it is going to be a surprise, so don't bother asking me what's in the box. My lips are sealed."

Sam's eyes slid down to her lips for a second and not even he could tell what thoughts tried to creep up his mind, because he swatted them away immediatelly and just nodded at Julia. "Okay… How about we see if there is anything else of any use in this garage and then we will head back?"

"Sounds like a plan." Julia responded and let him lead the way. Once she was out the door, she reached back and pulled the knob, closing the door as if she was trying to seal away Sam's worries and bad feelings.

The only thing that they found that was of any use was a small sleigh, and that allowed them to move a few boxes of food and clothing they found in the building's storage. Oh, yes, and Julia's mystery box, too. Sam had to admit, he was curious as to what was within a box that was about the size of regular moving boxes. It wasn't anything heavy, but it wasn't really light either, or so it seemed when Julia carried it. He wasn't allowed near it.

Julia just kept smiling at him and catching his look whenever she could. Sam didn't know if she was just trying to offer support and make him feel better, or was it something more, but soon he found himself returning those looks and huffing awkward smiles. However deep down, he still felt a bit depressed and all things considered, a bit useless too. He was unable to find them a way out of there, and his hope of being found was wearing thin.

On their way back, Sam was walking ahead, pulling the sleigh with the boxes while Julia hung back by the sleigh, making sure they down fall deep in the snow, or that the boxes don't fall off. But Julia's focus was more on Sam. Sure he smiled and did what was expected of him, putting on a mask of everything being ok, but Julia felt deep down that it was just a mask, and that Sam was slowly losing hope. She knew she would have to do something about it.

Once they were back in the station, they shed their jackets and suits and hung them up so they could dry. Sam helped Julia take the boxes into the storage and kitchen He was deep in thought and doing things more robotically, so he flinched when Julia grabbed his wrist while he was trying to leave the kitchen.

"Slow down… Come. Let's grab a bite." Julia offered, and Sam looked down on her hand. But it wasn't until he brought his eyes back on Julia and nodded, that Julia let go of his hand, and for a moment he wandered if she wanted to say something else. Sam decided on Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup as they could use something warm after being outside and he opened two cans, poured them into two bowls and set out to microwave them. Julia took a big bowl and opened two different cans, pouring pineapples and peaches in it. She waited until Sam was busy with the microwave to pull something out of her special box and hide it where it was accessible, but not in plain sight.

The food was prepared in silence and they ate in silence too. Sam could feel Julia's eyes on him, but he didn't want to meet her gaze, knowing she was just trying to give out as much of encouragement as she could, encouragement that they will get out of there. But he just couldn't meet her eyes. He couldn't.

"You done?" Julia asked and she sounded a bit annoyed, or was it just Sam's imagination? Did she ask if he was done with his meal or done moping? The answer came as she took his empty bowl, placed it in hers and took them to the sink. Sam just remained seated for a moment longer, eyes distant, deep in thoughts. His shoulders relaxed as he blew out a heavy sigh, but tensed again when he heard a noise he did not expect. He whipped around to look at Julia only to find her holding a can of whip cream, pouring it over the fruit she had in the bowl, all the while smiling at him with a wide, playful grin.

She poured plenty, and set the can aside, then looked back at Sam. She bit her lower lip and smirked at him, rising an eye brow. "I guess we will leave that for later…" She said, sounding a bit seductive. She reached back for the third can, plucked two cherries from it and set them on the top of the whip cream.

Sam burst out laughing, and not faking it, not giving a short amused laugh, no. He was laughing hard, laughing from the heart. Such a genuine laugh put a wide smile on Julia's face too, and it lifted a bit of the burden for both of them, removed some guilt they both felt. Their laughter echoed throughout the halls of the abandoned station, filling it with some joy in God knows how long. Julia walked back to the table and sat, laughing at Sam's laughter. Sam was nearly doubling over.

Finally, after good ten minutes, Sam caught his breath, just barely enough to ask "So this is what was in that mystery box of yours?"

Julia shrugged with a smile her eyes looking up and she looked so mischievous at that point, Sam had to chuckle some more. But then she pushed a bowl his way and set two spoons on the table.

"Oh, we sharing? I thought this was all mine." Sam teased and Julia flashed him a slightly appalled face, contemplating whether to take some of that whip cream and smear it on his face. But then their eyes met again, and it seemed like she froze completely, forgetting everything and getting lost in those ocean greens.

Sam shyly brought his gaze down on the bowl and picked up a spoon. He shoved it all the way to the bottom of the bowl, took a spoonful and slowly brought it to his mouth. Parting his lips, he allowed the spoon with the sweet fruit to enter and he closed his mouth around the cutlery closing his eyes as he savored the flavor for a moment before slowly pulling the spoon out, never opening his lips, so the spoon make a popping sound as it came out.

Julia was drooling. Whether it was over the fruit salad or watching Sam eat said fruit salad, we will never know. Realizing that she was staring, she looked down before he noticed, cleared her throat and picked up her own spoon. The first bite elected a moan from her and when she opened her eyes, she caught Sam looking at her, but he quickly averted his gaze back on the bowl, blushing slightly.

Both uncertain of where this might go, but both secretly wishing to find out, they slowly ate their dessert and realized it was finished way too soon. Sam huffed a smile and chanced a glance her way, then got up and carried the bowl to the sink, choosing to wash the rest of the dished too.

"Imana…um… Go and try to, um… Fix that radio…" Sam heard Julia say, but didn't turn around.

"Oh, ok. I will try those doors again… After I am finished here…" Sam responded.

"Yeah, ok…" Julia said, and he could hear her footsteps as she walked away, but they seemed to stop just before the door and then she added "Um… You… You want some help with that?"

"No, no, I'm good." Sam said not wanting to bother her.

"Oh. Ok then." She said and it might have sounded a bit hurtful, Sam wasn't sure. When he heard the door close, he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. If his hands weren't wet at the moment, he would have run his hand over his face, instead he opted to huff another heavy breath. One moment they were laughing, being so comfortable with one another and then it suddenly, out of the blue, it turned weird. Sam couldn't help but think it was because of him.

Getting close to Julia felt good, it felt right, but at the same time fear grew inside Sam. Fear that she would end up just another memory, just another lost life to their eternal cause. Just another passenger who won't make it to their destination because they caught the wrong transportation. They were poisonous to everyone around them. No, he was. Most of the lives lost were his fault. Kevin, Charlie, Rowena. Directly or indirectly, he played a part in so many deaths, he didn't think he could handle another. He didn't think he could handle getting attached to someone again and loose them, one way or the other.

'Oh, I'm so dead…' a memory of Julia flashed before his eyes and her comment when she realized he was a Winchester. That said it all.

Another heavy sigh had Sam trying to refocus his mind on something else, on anything else. On those doors. Maybe he should inspect the lock and the door knob a bit closely and try to approach it smartly instead if using brute force. Yeah. He could do that.

Two hours later and the mystery door still undefeated, Sam huffed in annoyance and kicked the door. As if on cue, Julia's head emerged from around the corner and she smiled at him. "Any progress?"

"No." Sam said pouting, and it made her trying to hide her smile at his expression.

"Well, I fixed the radio. And before you ask, no I haven't reached anyone yet, just static. Well, except this one frequency that gives out strange noises and maybe more music? I don't know." Juls elaborated. But when she looked back at him, she could see that he was still a bit pouting, annoyed and deep down probably feeling as useless as Captain Hook's second glove.

"Uh-ha. That's great." Sam said distractedly keeping his focus on the door.

"Hey, um, Sam? Maybe… Maybe you should give the door a rest for a while… You've been at it for what? Two hours? Maybe you could try again tomorrow." Juls suggested but all Sam did was just nod, not moving from the spot, like he didn't even hear a word she said. Now, normally, Julia would be pissed if someone blew her off like that, and this time was no different. However, just as she was gonna blow and maybe raise her voice at him, not just for dissing her, but for overworking himself when it was obvious the doors just wouldn't budge, she got an idea. He didn't even notice she disappeared as he kept frowning at the lock, glaring at it like he could will it open. If only he could figure out this locking mechanism… But it was a simple door knob with a regular key hole, just an ordinary lock one would find on a bathroom stall. And that is what was so annoying about it. Sam couldn't even pick the simplest lock.

He huffed for the umpteenth time today and leaned in for yet another closer look. Focusing hard on the shape of the key lock like it would whisper its secrets to him, he was so deep in thought that he yelped loudly and jumped when he was hit in the back of his neck by something cold and wet. He whipped around with the look of complete surprise, only to find Julia standing there, smirking at him, throwing a snowball up in the air and catching it without taking her eyes off of him.

"You really should approach the problem with a cool head." Julia threw in a lame joke, making his glare intensify and his mouth drop open. He was so surprised by her action, he didn't know how to respond at first. But then he lifted a blaming finger at her and as he took a step forward, he asked a rhetorical question.

"Did… Did you just throw a snowball at me?"

"Wwhho? Mmee? Noooo…" She said with a fake fear and a wide smile, taking a step back.

"I don't see anyone else here, so it must have been you…" Sam took another teasingly threatening step forward and watched her back away, chancing a glance at the exit.

"Maybe… Maybe it was the invisible elves… This is the North Pole afterall." She joked as she took yet another weary step back, her smile never dropping. She looked in the direction of the exit and as if Sam waited just for that, he lunged forward, but only managed to get a snowball on the face as Julia attacked and ran off. She was a badass huntress by the way. Huffing a small roar, Sam ran his hands over his face to remove the snow and then bolted after her. The exit by the storage room was open slightly and Sam practically kicked the door open as he ran outside, only to be met by one snowball after another, like they were fired from an automatic gun or something.

But still, he didn't back down, he didn't look for cover, no. Sam lifted his arms in a protective way and took hits as he scouted the area to find his attacker. Catching a glimpse of her brown hair (cuz her clothes were completely white and thus blending perfectly into the surroundings) he stumbled a few steps towards her, then as a distracting maneuver, he broke into a small spring, lunging himself forward once he reached her. She screamed and fell backwards on the snow, and he landed on top of her, catching himself with his hands so that he didn't crush her with his weigh. Still she grunted , but quickly nudged him in the elbow, making him loose his balance for a split second and allowing her to tackle him.

But using the momentum of the roll, he came on top of her again, this time managing to throw some snow in her face. They rolled around like that, hands filled with snow getting under the other once shirt and over the neck, and if one's hands lingered there a bit longer no one said a thing. Instead they just kept laughing and laughing until that moment that the adrenalin passed and Julia gazed deep into the eyes of the man that was currently mounting her. She could feel him leaning closer and sweet anticipation filled her, her heart pounding faster and faster. He was there, right there, so close, she could almost feel his breath on her.

And then she sneezed right into his face.

She watched him in complete horror as he blinked in confusion, but his expression quickly turned into worry as Julia sneezed again and started shaking. Sam almost jumped off of her, and then helped her up, ushering them both back inside. Leading her to the bedroom, he grabbed more blankets out of the closet and wrapped them around her as he sat her on the bed, rubbing her arms with his huge hands.

"I'm… ffffinnne." Julia said through her clenched teeth and Sam huffed a smile at her.

"No, you're not. You're freezing. I'm just gonna go grab some dry clothes, stay there."

"Well, yyyyou should gggrab some forrrr yourrrself ttttoo. Yyyou're also wwwet." Julia said sniffing and then sneezed again. Sam didn't respond to that as he was already out the door. He emerged two seconds later with dry clothes, from underwear to the hoodie and let her change, stepping out of the room again. He breathed in and out, not know what to think. A few hours ago he was determined not to allow Julia near him in such a manner, but when the first opportunity arose, he literally jumped at it. And at Julia. He didn't even know how he didn't freak her out with that. No, she just kept playing around and the memory of her sweet laughter filled his mind, clouding it once again. His heart beat faster and harder, the sound of her voice filling his ears, the look of her eyes flashing before his own. His mind tried to fight it, tried to regain some control, and it would have completely failed if Sam didn't hear the door open and Julia speak up, or rather scold.

"Why on Earth are you still standing around for in those wet clothes? Go change before you catch a cold."

He smiled awkwardly and nodded, turning and walking away to do as she said.


A/N: Oops, I did it again... I am such a tease with these kisses/possible kisses... But I promise you , I will make it worth your while.