Tadfield. Evening in the parking area of Tadfield Manor. The Them and the four supernatural beings continue their conversation after leaving the Disposable Demons to their party. Adam speaks.

Uriel, I think you should report to Heaven that Hekla is safe in Tadfield.

Was about to suggest that myself, Young Master. Uriel, Ammun, how do you want to do that without spilling all the beans?

Crowley gets out his phone, walks a bit apart from the group, spends some minutes in muted conversation as Ammun and Uriel strategize back and forth.

Crowley and Aziraphale were the ones actually present at that circus Saturday night. I think it best that you and I keep schtum about it. Simply report that Hekla has showed up in Tadfield.

Safe and sound. She's staying with human friends of Aziraphale's. Had a bad fright. Wants to stay on Earth, but doesn't want to go back to London.

That tailor's shop she was working in has no doubt made inquiries as to why she didn't report for work this morning.

We can say the demons destroyed her phone. Which is true.

Heaven probably still thinks Hekla was abducted. We fookin' sure as Hell don't want to say she ran away with demons.

Seeing as how I supposedly still don't know anything different, I can simply say that Crowley and Aziraphale brought her to Tadfield. Let Gabriel and Michael puzzle out the whys and wherefores of that one in their own time.

Ha! I'd like to listen in on that conversation.

Crowley looks up, rejoins the group.

We play our cards right, Ammun, we can do just that. I have a little package you can slip into Gabriel or Michael's phone, Uriel. They won't even know it. Enables listening in on the microphone.

But if they ever do find out, Crowley, they'll know it was from me. I took a big risk already when you asked me to transfer that thing to The Twin' phones.

Gabriel destroyed those phones. My associates are kicking themselves that they didn't slip in the malware when they sent that Beelzebub video clip. But it was a rush situation. One can't think of everything.

Ammun growls.

I'll do it. Drive back to London tonight. Say Uriel called me to report that Aziraphale and Crowley brought Hekla to Tadfield. That Hekla is now frightened of London. Wants to stay in the village. But won't give Uriel more details. Seems shell shocked or something. Pretend Uriel doesn't know anything more than that. I'm technically her superior, so it wouldn't surprise anyone that she would report first to me. Uriel, do you even have the direct Head Office number?

Uriel makes a disgusted face.

No. They make me go through Reception.

There y' go.

What if Michael summons Hekla to report?

Hm. I could say that Aziraphale told Uriel that London is crawling with demons. Doesn't think it safe for Hekla to go back there just yet. [Laughs] Can't see them summoning Aziraphale to report so they can wring more details out of him.

What if they want to send a squad to retrieve Hekla?

I'll suggest they simply give me a new phone to pick up and deliver to her instead. I'm at least as good as a squad when it comes to dealing with the Demon Crowley.

Crowley snorts.

Well, that might buy us some time, at least. Your Head Office isn't going to be fobbed off for long if they think a demon riot abducted an angel. Those tossers get their hands on Hekla, they'll wring her like a tube of toothpaste.

Well, I'd best be going. 'S getting late.

Why don't you and I take the little Cabri, Ammun? It'll get to London faster than the lorry.

Fookin' hell. Never thought I'd see the day that I'd be flying into London with a demon.

You'll love it.

I'm sure. When's your new H-160 arriving, Crowley? I'd love to have a shot at piloting that.

Still in the certification process. When did you learn to fly, Ammun?

One fookin' war after another in my former turf, Crowley.

Oh yeah. Of course.

Let's get going, demon.

Uriel, you can give Angel a ride back to the bookshop?

Of course, Crowley.

Ciao, gang.

Crowley and Ammun trot over and jump into the Bentley, roar off toward the little helicopter pad.

The Them say goodbyes and ride off in a pack on their bikes.

Uriel shows Aziraphale how to climb into the lorry cab. . .


London. Ammun and Uriel's apartment over their small freight warehouse. The roof of which is now decorated with a tiny helicopter that London Air Traffic Control somehow mysteriously allowed to land.

Ammun scrolls and taps to place a call as he murmurs,

Geronimo.

Michael. I have some news for you about that angel, Hekla. . . . Hey, Gabriel. You two watching a movie together? . . . Got a call just now from Uriel in Tadfield. She reports Hekla has shown up there. Principality Aziraphale has her stashed with some of his human friends. . . . Uriel says Hekla is pretty shook up. Had some sort of bad scare she can't talk about. Shell shock or something. . . . She went on a date with Demon Daji? You're fookin' kidding me. . . . Are you completely sure about that? I thought that lovely monster was off in China. . . . Huh. That might explain why Aziraphale thinks Hekla should stay in Tadfield. According to Uriel, he says London is crawling with demons right now. . . . Fookin' hell, damned if I know. All I saw is that article in the Celestial Observer. 'S not like I have a direct line to Beelzebub or something. . . . Uriel says Hekla's phone was destroyed by demons, that's why. . . . Nah. How about I pick up a new phone for her tomorrow morning and drive to Tadfield. I can debrief her there. . . . You're joking, right? I don't need any squaddies to protect me from the likes of Crowley. We go 'way back, as you well know. . . . Anything I should know about Hekla's history? . . . Fookin' hell. Doesn't have much luck on Earth assignments, does she. Brave of her to want to stay. Shows some grit, that. . . . All right. I'll drop by entry Security early tomorrow morning. Tell Quartermaster to get off the mark and not dick around. I'll expect that phone to be waiting for me. . . . Roger that. Talk to you tomorrow.

He stashes the phone back in a drawer, inside a little Faraday cage that Crowley gave him.

Well. That went down a treat. Wanna go to a pub?

Was looking forward to some tango practice with Angel, actually.

Ammun's face assumes a happy leer.

Guessing Uriel might be up for some tango as well. How about a shot of Tarquin's, just for the road?

Ammun reaches into a cabinet over his desk and extracts a bottle of gin and two glasses. Pours four fingers' worth in each.

Bollocks to Hell.

Bollocks to Heaven.

The two clink glasses, drink down their gin like lemonade, and head for the stairway to the roof.