"Now, don't freak out."
"What's there to freak out about?!" Chakotay exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "We just got attacked by some sort of shadow monster, and you fought it off using some kind of energy magic. I guess this is all just a normal day in your book, huh!"
"Okay, that qualifies as 'freaking out'." Kathryn wiped away some sweat on her forehead and sat down on the grass. "I guess I do owe you an explanation for what you just saw."
"That would be appreciated." Chakotay sat down cross-legged beside her and waited.
"So I would guess that the being you just saw is some kind of nature spirit that resides here and is not happy about the balance of its world being upset by-"
"Oh, I don't care about that," Chakotay interjected. "I've seen enough weird shit in Starfleet to be able to pass right over that creature. What I care about is you. You've been lying to me about what you are, and I don't know if I can trust you anymore."
"What I am…" Kathryn began slowly, "is… I guess you would call me 'an energy being'. I've been called many things, but that one is most accurate. I was born into a plane of existence near your own, a plane made up not of matter but of energy and thought. In my truest form, I am more of a disembodied soul. Only, for now at least, I have a body. Every now and then I like to be born as a human just to experience your world as it changes throughout time."
"How long have you been alive?" Chakotay asked hesitantly.
Kathryn shrugged. "A few centuries at least. I gave up keeping track of your calendar, to be honest."
Chakotay was silent, letting this new information sink in. Then he asked, "Is Kathryn even your real name?"
The woman before him shook her head. "My name could never be verbalized by your human tongue," she said. "It's made up of feelings and sensations, not sounds or words."
Chakotay nodded and continued to look dazed. "I have so many questions," he murmured. "What's your home like? Why are you so interested in humans? How can you do the things you can do? Where do I start?"
Kathryn chuckled and laid her hand on his arm. "It's okay. Just slow down. My home is… very different from yours. It's made up of swirling clouds of energy and everyone is incorporeal and telepathic. I can manipulate energy like that because I'm made of energy. It's an extension of myself. I understand it on a level you can't. And I'm interested in humans because I was created by humans, as were most of my kind."
"Wait, what? How could humans possibly create someone as powerful as you?"
"They didn't on purpose. You see, human emotional energy resonates with the energy on my plane. You would think of it as a plane of thought. Look, it's complicated." She brought a hand up to her mouth and began absent-mindedly biting on a nail. "All you need to know is that human emotions and thoughts create things in my world. Your needs and desires create living beings. And throughout the centuries, many of your kind have called us 'spirits' or even 'gods'."
"Gods? You're telling me you're a god?" He scoffed.
"No, I'm not saying that at all," she said quickly. "I don't think of myself that way at all and I never could. It's just that… well, here's what happened. Long ago on Earth, a child made a prayer. They created an image in their mind of a being, a person, who would give them the guidance they needed. They wanted help doing better in school, and so they asked for help. They prayed from the depths of their heart and that emotion made me. I simply awoke with their prayer in my heart and their needs in my mind.
"I knew I needed to be what they needed me to be, and I tried, I really did. I don't think I did well, though, because after a while they forgot about me. And no one else on your world knew of my existence, so I was alone. I didn't know what to do. I tried watching your lives and even living my own human life to gain knowledge about you. I thought maybe I would get a second chance and I could do better." She sighed and gazed up at the stars above them. "Everyone else knows how to be what their worshippers need them to be. But I don't. I've tried lending my aid to children and scholars alike, but all of them eventually forget me and move on. I've failed all of them."
She looked down and quickly brushed a stray tear off her cheek. "I'm sorry," she said. "You wanted a simple explanation but instead I'm just rambling on about everything."
"Hey." Chakotay tucked a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. "You haven't failed me," he said. "You're the best damn captain I've ever met and the closest friend I've ever had. And you're welcome to ramble on about anything you want. I'll always listen."
She smiled her crooked smile and clasped his hand gratefully. "Thank you," she whispered.
