A/N: Fuuuuck guys I am really sorry for the huge delay on this chapter. First I was updating my other fics and then I was (still am, actually) in bad health this last month and not able to write much. I have also been working on content for later chapters though, so hopefully you'll get a few fairly close together now. Which is good, since this one is unfortunately pretty short.
Anyway please enjoy this thing I made you wait an unreasonably long time for.
As the tall and rather creepy spires of the Crypto Castle come into view, Catra breathes a sigh of relief into the back of Adora's shoulder. It's not that she's ungrateful for the ride, but there's a difference between driving a skiff recklessly and being on the back of a reckless flying horse who loves doing loop de loops. It's one thing to be the driver and relatively close to the ground, another entirely to be a helpless passenger sailing through the clouds.
As much as she's looking forward to touching solid ground again, Catra can't help the vague sense of dread rising in her gut. She's had a lot of time to think during this flight, to reflect on what happened back in the temple, and the conclusion she's come to is inescapable. She needs to talk to Adora, explain what's going through her head, but she really doesn't want to deal with the disappointment she knows she'll see in those earnest blue eyes.
Catra's rocky stomach lurches as Swift Wind begins his descent, and she automatically tightens her grip on Adora's waist, muffling her instinctual whimper in her jacket. Adora's body shudders slightly, which puzzles Catra momentarily - this is her steed and she should be used to this, after all - before she realizes Adora is enjoying a laugh at her expense. She scowls into the warmth of Adora's back, the expression only lapsing when she remembers how she scared the shit out of Adora their first time in the woods and Adora literally fell off the skiff.
Yeah, she kinda deserves this. An eye for an eye, as Shadow Weaver used to say.
Once they pass over the small city, Swift Wind slows and eyes the castle grounds. "Uhhh, where's a safe spot to land, Adora?" he asks. "I don't wanna wind up caught in some booby trap."
"There," says Adora, pointing to a spot in the front courtyard. "I know the way in safely from that direction."
Swift Wind lands with considerably more grace than Catra expected, and she gratefully dismounts onto shaking legs. A moment later a hand grips her shoulder from behind, giving a comforting squeeze.
"You get used to it," says Adora, amusement and sympathy mingling in her tone. Catra shrugs away her hand with a scowl and Adora chuckles, turning back to her steed while Catra watches out of the corner of her eye. "Thanks for the lift, Swifty." Suddenly Adora's tongue is poking out of her mouth and she's aiming finger guns at the horse, and Catra groans loudly into both her palms.
"Anytime!" Swift Wind neighs, shaking out his mane. "I assume you'll want a ride back to Bright Moon tomorrow?"
Before Adora can answer, Catra interjects, "Entrapta has a skiff, you can probably just go with her."
Adora blinks. "Entrapta's going?"
"Yeah, she's hoping the Alliance will let her back in. Apparently she swiped some pretty juicy intelligence as a peace offering."
"Hmm. I should be okay, then," Adora tells Swift Wind. "I'll summon you if I need you, okay?"
"Sure thing, Adora! See you tomorrow, either way." Swift Wind nuzzles Adora's cheek in farewell then trots over to Catra, who eyes him warily. His endless positivity reminds her of Scorpia, only way more annoying. To her surprise, his eyes suddenly harden.
"Just so you know," he says quietly enough for only them to hear, "I saw what you did to Adora in Bright Moon. And if you hurt her again, I will personally stomp you to death with my hooves." Catra's mouth falls open slightly, eyes widening. She did not see that coming. And in the blink of an eye, Swift Wind's usual cheery expression is back. "Nice meeting you!"
As they watch him fly off into the distance, Adora turns to Catra. "Are you okay with that?"
Catra blinks, pulling her eyes from the sky. "With what?"
"Entrapta joining the Alliance." Adora shrugs. "Figured you'd want to stay neutral."
"I'm neutral, she's not," clarifies Catra. "I'm not happy about it, but if it means you guys will show up and fight off the Horde if they come for us then I guess I have to be okay with it, don't I?" Turning with a shrug, she heads toward the castle.
Frowning, Adora follows her with quick strides. She almost reaches out to touch her shoulder when she gets within arm's reach, but thinks better of it. "Catra," she begins placatingly, "it's gonna be okay. I won't let Glimmer take you prisoner again, don't worry."
Catra's eyes pop as she stops and gapes at Adora. "Well I wasn't worrying about it until now."
Adora opens her mouth to respond, but a loud metallic crash steals their attention. Both their heads whip toward the archway leading out to the cliffside.
"What the hell?" says Catra. That question is quickly answered by a round of Entrapta's maniacal laughter and she facepalms with a sigh. "Should've known she'd already be getting into trouble."
The two of them hustle to the entrance, Adora yanking on Catra's shirt at one point to steer her away from a trap in the ground. When they reach the arch, Adora's jaw drops as she takes in the dozens of Horde bots clustered near the wall. Not to mention the two that are fighting each other, a safe distance from the others but dangerously close to the cliff's edge. They're not shooting lasers as usual, rather rearing up and hitting the enemy with their legs.
Squinting at the strange sight, Adora asks, "What's with all the bots?"
"Oh, Entrapta took along as many as she could requisition for a tech-gathering mission without it looking suspicious," explains Catra.
"For defense?"
Catra shrugs. "And to play with."
When she starts to step forward, Adora's hand shoots out and latches onto her arm. "Hang on, there's another trap right there." Cupping her free hand around her mouth, she hollers over the sound of the battling bots. "Entrapta! Entrapta!"
Entrapta turns her head, then flips her mask up to reveal a massive grin. "Hi, Adora!" She hits a couple of buttons on the controller in her hand, causing the bots to disengage, then waves her friends over. When Adora doesn't move, pointedly eyeing the ground in front of them, Entrapta assures her, "Oh, don't worry, it's safe to come out. I disabled all the traps until my new guests can get more acquainted with the layout!"
Shaking out of Adora's grip, Catra jogs over to greet Entrapta with a fist bump. Well, a hair/fist bump. "Thought you'd be holed up in your lab by now," she remarks as Adora follows behind her.
"I was!" chirps Entrapta. "But there was a tiiiiny accident and Scorpia suggested I take my tests outside, at least until she fixes the wall."
Catra snorts. "That'll take forever, if it's anything like last time."
Suddenly they're both laughing, and Adora's eyebrows arch. "What happened last time?" she asks, casually shoving her hands in her pockets.
"Eh, you had to be there," says Catra, waving her off.
Adora barely has time to frown before Entrapta's right up in her face, rising up on her hair to look over Adora's shoulder with dazzled eyes. "Adora, how long have you been able to transform your sword?"
"What?" says Catra.
"What?" Adora blinks hard, backing up a couple steps. The only person who's seen her do that is Bow. "Uh, not very long," she answers cagily. "I just learned since I've been at- I mean, in the last week or so. How did you know about that?"
"From the battle footage! Neat trick with the mug, by the way. Never would have taken it for a bludgeoning weapon, but the effects were devastating with your She-Ra strength behind it."
"Wait, it was you who sent all those bots trampling through the woods?" Chuckling sheepishly, Adora admits, "Honestly, I thought it was Catra."
"For once, no, I can't take the credit for a good idea." Catra winks, and Adora rolls her eyes.
"She didn't even know," adds Entrapta. "Scorpia suggested we leave after Hordak attacked Catra, and while we waited for her to make up her mind it seemed prudent to deplete the Horde's resources. So we requisitioned a bunch of bots for recon and scavenging missions, sent them into hopeless battles against the princesses." Frowning, she looks away. "I didn't really want to, I mean they were perfectly good bots and they didn't do anything wrong. But on the bright side I got troves of data about their weaknesses that I can use to improve these babies," she pats one on the head, "and defeat the others in battle, if necessary."
"About that," Adora cuts in before Entrapta can continue, "apparently I'm hitching a ride with you to the Alliance meeting tomorrow?"
"You are?" Entrapta perks up. "Oh, this is going to be fun! I didn't realize you were even going."
Adora's brow scrunches. "Why wouldn't I go?"
Entrapta appears confused. "Because you broke Catra out of prison and fled Bright Moon for your own safety?"
Catra winces. She's used to Entrapta's bluntness by now, but Adora is probably not. Plus she hasn't exactly told Adora yet that she told the others how she was responsible for her leaving. She's been trying to figure out how to mention it without giving Adora the (correct) impression that she was bragging about it at the time.
As she expected, Adora turns on her with a glare. "Jeez, Catra, did you tell Hordak too?"
"I mean, he was my boss at the time," Catra points out, ears flattening against her head as she rocks on her heels. "But I didn't tell anyone where you went, not even Scorpia. I didn't want anyone coming after you."
"Ohhh, crap," Entrapta attempts to whisper, flinching slightly as she meets Catra's gaze. "Was that supposed to be a secret?"
Adora huffs, waving her off. "All of Bright Moon knows, you might as well too."
Eyes dragging back and forth between them, Catra tells Entrapta, "I should have specified. Don't worry about it."
Mouthing a quick apology to Catra while Adora's busy glaring off into the distance, Entrapta cautiously suggests, "Maybe you should get some rest, Adora." Turning her attention to a heap of tech at her feet, she begins rooting through it. "I had my friends prepare a couple of guest rooms for you guys in corridor 17B."
"Friends?" asks Adora, a nervous tinge in her tone.
"My robots! Don't worry, they're very nice now," Entrapta assures her. Digging a tablet out of the pile and beginning to tap in coordinates, she adds, "You don't have to use both rooms of course, I didn't know if you'd want to be together or separate, or, uh, well, ah…" Entrapta's eyes flick between them in a panic. "Here, this map will show you!" she exclaims, tossing the tablet into Catra's hands.
Catra grins wryly. "Thanks, Trapta."
The two of them make their way through the castle without much more in the way of conversation. Adora is probably still pissed, and Catra doesn't feel like getting into another argument right now. It's probably inevitable, though, given what she needs to tell Adora.
Finding the first of two adjacent rooms, they enter together. It looks pretty much like the rest of the castle, purple metallic walls housing an eclectic assortment of furniture. An ornate wrought-iron bed frame, an ancient dresser with clawed feet, a cluttered bookshelf that appears to be made of reclaimed (and possibly rotting) wood. More furniture and other junk is accumulated along the back wall, but at least most of the room is tidy.
"Just as creepy as I expected," remarks Adora. Smoothing a hand over the covers, she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Her lips curl slightly as she meets Catra's gaze. "No more, no less."
While the implication that Adora has let it slide (at least for now) is a small comfort, the warmth in her gaze hurts. Catra doesn't want to lose that warmth, to wipe that smile off her face. She doesn't want to hurt her again.
"Maybe the other room's less creepy?" Catra shrugs casually. "I'll take whichever one creeps you out less."
Adora's face falls. "I… don't you want to share?"
The earnest display of affection and disappointment is like a knife straight to Catra's heart. Having borne so much pain in her lifetime, her first instinct is to deflect it, heedless of where it may land.
"What," she snorts, "you expect me to go back to sleeping at your feet like your loyal pet?"
"What? No! I never said you have to sleep at my feet," protests Adora. Then her face suddenly slackens, cheeks flushing pink. Hands now very animated, she bumbles, "Wait, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, it is, but… I'm not saying… I'm not asking you to, like, do anything with me. Unless you want to, I mean."
Adora's face is beet red by the time she finishes, and Catra can't help chuckling at her expense. Eyebrows sky high, she drawls, "Wow, okay. I was kidding, Adora. Calm down."
"Well how was I supposed to know that?" grumbles Adora, arms crossing defensively. "Look, I'm sorry I touched you when you didn't want me to, but I won't do it again."
"I like it when you touch me," Catra mumbles with a shrug. It only occurs to her what she said when a grin spreads across Adora's face, and suddenly she's blushing from her neck to the tips of her ears. "Usually, I mean," she backtracks. "Like, I'll tell you if I don't want you to."
Clearly enjoying the quick reversal of fortune, Adora shoots her a cheeky wink. "Uh huh."
"And besides, that's… that's not the point." Sighing heavily, Catra eases herself down to sit beside Adora on the mattress, a good foot of space between them. Here goes nothing.
"Look, I missed you too, and I might come sleep with you if I feel like it," she begins, eyeing her restless hands. "But it's nice having my own space, and having options. Back in the Horde I had my own bed, even if I didn't use it a lot."
"I mean, I guess," says Adora, shrugging to cover the way her shoulders are slumping.
Catra raises a pointed eyebrow. "What, do you feel ready to go back to the way things were before?"
"We can't go back, you were right about that. But I'd like to get there again. And…" Adora ducks her head, scratching at her suddenly burning cheek. "...further, you know?"
"Yeah, me too," says Catra. "But I don't think we should. At least, not yet."
Adora's bewildered eyes jump back up to Catra. "But, you kissed me in Bright Moon. And after I freed you. And this morning. I… I don't understand." Clasping her fidgeting fingers together, she mutters, "After everything I did, I really thought…"
"Wow," Catra remarks flatly, leaning back and watching her like a hawk. "Adora, you aren't entitled to me because you saved my life. Don't be a dick."
"What? I didn't-" splutters Adora. "Stop twisting my words! I'm not the dick here, Catra."
Catra snorts. "Up for debate."
Fingers dragging through her hair, Adora takes a deep breath and a moment to collect her thoughts. And calm the fuck down.
"Okay," she sighs, "I worded that poorly. What I meant was, I thought you'd forgiven me. I was hoping you'd be through punishing me by now."
"I'm getting there, with the forgiveness," admits Catra. Averting her eyes, she mutters, "And I'm not punishing you."
"Sure feels like it," mumbles Adora.
Catra scoffs, eyes flashing as she scowls at Adora. "Believe it or not, Adora, not everything is about you."
"Oh, I'm aware," Adora chuckles darkly, eyes burning into the wall.
Catra opens her mouth, tongue primed to deliver scathing retorts and rebukes fueled by a lifetime of neglect. But something about the bite in Adora's tone and the hardness in her eyes as she stares at the wall makes her stop. Besides, what would going off on Adora accomplish at this point? Catra wants to do better than that. That's the whole point she's trying to make.
"Look," she says, sighing out her aggression, "it wasn't fair, the way I yelled at you back in the ruins. I'm still mad at you, and I took it out on you." When Adora looks up in surprise, Catra holds her gaze and gives a tiny nod of acknowledgement. "I need to deal with that before we can be best friends again, or whatever else. Make sense?"
"Sure," mumbles Adora, eyes bouncing away. "I can't really complain, I'm the one who left."
"Honestly, it's not just that," admits Catra. Adora squints at her and she twitches her mouth in a guilty grimace. "I've been mad at you for a long time, Adora, you leaving just made it boil over. And look, I get now that all that stuff was Shadow Weaver's fault, not yours. You were right about that."
Adora frowns, pulling her knees to her chest. She'd forgotten all about the positive self-talk. That's what she gets for separating herself from her friends.
"But it doesn't matter whose fault it is," continues Catra. "Doing that shit, being together, it won't make it any better. Make it easier to ignore, maybe, but then we would never fix it. I'd still resent you under the surface, and I don't want to anymore." Her jaw shifts, eyes on her hands. "I just don't want to rush into things and fuck it up, okay? I need more time."
"Okay," says Adora. It's all she can force from her sticky throat. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts and her voice, she puts words to something that's been eating at her brain for well over a week. "Is that why you had to stop, back in Bright Moon? Because you're mad at me? Or did I do something wrong, or…?"
"No, no," Catra interjects forcefully. "It wasn't you. I just freaked out." Her stomach tightens in warning, urging her to avoid any vulnerability. But there's no way to rebuild if she won't let Adora anywhere near the rubble. Sighing heavily, she drags a hand through her mane and the words through her lips. "It felt like I was losing control of the situation, and I got scared. It's hard for me to let anyone touch me at all, much less that kind of touching."
"And when you do, you need to feel in control," surmises Adora. "Because of Shadow Weaver."
Eyes dropping shamefully, Catra mutters, "Can you blame me?"
Adora puffs out a tiny sound somewhere between a snort and a scoff. "Not really."
A similar sound bursts from Catra's lips and she glances up at Adora, finding a sad smile on her lips that she can't help but mirror.
Adora manages to hold the smile and Catra's gaze for several seconds before she has to look away. Her eyes are beginning to blur and she doesn't want to make Catra feel bad. Because honestly, she's right. Adora's sick of alternating between bliss and all out war, of having to walk on eggshells and never knowing when a false step will trigger the next explosion. If this is what Catra needs to stabilize and work through everything that happened to her, Adora can do that for her. For a while, anyway.
"Do you think you're ever gonna get over it?" Adora asks quietly. "Being mad at me?" When she turns her head, Catra's watching her intently. Silently. Adora fidgets, fighting the urge to look away. "I'm just wondering if I'll ever get to kiss you again."
Distress is radiating from Adora, from her tight forehead and anxious eyes. Her lower lip slips between her teeth and Catra's eyes follow it helplessly, the cramp in her chest slowly spreading through her whole body. She can't let Adora think that way, feel that way.
Before she can talk herself out of it, Catra cups Adora's cheek and leans in, planting a chaste but solid kiss on her lips. She lingers several seconds, long enough for Adora's lips to purse in response, before slowly pulling away.
Catra doesn't even attempt to hide the grin on her lips or the sparkle in her eyes as she says, "Oh, I'd say chances are good that won't be our last."
It's not a promise. But with their track record, maybe that's not such a bad thing.
A/N: I stan Catradora taking a healthy amount of space to work on themselves but still being around to support each other.
