He was in the rafters when he noticed her in box 5. After he was certain she had left, he went down to see what it was she had placed there.

A small stack of papers, bound with a ribbon. What was it? He looked around. He couldn't read it here, whatever it was. Too risky. Back underground, then.

Once there, he set it on the counter and settled in for the evening before opening it. He lit the samovar, sliced a lemon into his teacup, kicked off his shoes and changed out of his cloak and into his robe before sitting down on his couch and opening the package.

He removed the blank cover page and saw the words "The Nightingale, by Christine Daae" on the second page. He smiled. Was this to be an opera, then? He continued flipping through the pages. There was a little story (complete with small drawings of the characters in the margins), and a few songs with lyrics, and several musical scores that were labeled with where they would fit into the story. It was highly amusing at first, but by the time he reached the end he was no longer smiling.

He read it a second time, because surely he's mistaken, surely he's reaching.

By the end of the third reading, he was pacing the floor, because he was not mistaken or reaching and what he thought was there is definitely there and now he has a choice to make.

Christine Daae's little opera about a nightingale who goes to the ends of earth and completes three impossible tasks to prove her undying devotion to her lover.

He cannot hide from this - from her - forever.

He stands on the edge of a precipice and he knows that one way or the other, he is going to fall. He decides that if he must fall, if there is no choice in that matter, then the only thing left to chose is which side to fall on - if his heart is going to be broken, if it must break (and it surely will), will it be because he hid away from the woman he worshipped and who thought she loved him in return or will it be because for one brief period in time he had been allowed to bask in her presence only to be cast out of paradise forevermore?

If he must suffer the prospect of a future devoid of Christine Daae, will he start that future now, or will he delay it by however much he can?

It's too much to think that perhaps she really will stay with him - she thinks she's sincere, yes she does, he's certain of that - but she does not know him like he knows himself. Love, or rather infatuation, has blinded her, he knows this. A few mere months of living with him will surely drive her away - she can stand to be around him for several hours at a time for their lessons and for tea, but to actually live with him is entirely different. He's never lived with anyone before, but he's aware that he has many annoying habits. Sweet Christine is likely far too kind to say anything when he's being obnoxious, and she'll have to suffer silently until finally one day she simply can't take it any longer and flees. She deserves so much more than him, and surely she will realize this sooner or later.

But as for now - she does love him. He is convinced that there will come a day when she does not, but that day is not today. Today, she still loves him. He has tried oh so hard to be good, to be noble, and he can't help but wonder if it would be wicked to accept her love when he knows that she will change her mind. But she offers it freely - and he thinks he's just desperate enough, just short sighted enough, to accept. He will inadvertently cause her pain one day because of how he is, but to continue to refuse her however misguided declarations of love will also cause her pain - is currently causing her pain. And he cannot bear to hurt her, so if he must cause her harm no matter what - let it be in the future, not now. Let her be happy, however naively, for now.

That is why he stands here behind the door that will swing out a section of the bookcase in the office.

Most of his thoughts up to this point have hinged on the assumption that Christine is being sincere with him. The darkest parts of his mind whisper to him that she's merely teasing him, winding him up - and look how well it's working! Worrying about her future happiness with him while she's probably planning on jilting him? And it would make sense, wouldn't it? More sense than her actually loving a beast like him! She's probably having a grand old laugh about it with Meg and her friends, laughing over her old idiot of a teacher still in love with her after everything that's happened. He'll open that door and the whole group of them will be there with mocking stares and pointing fingers and Christine will cackle and ask how he ever thought she'd actually be interested in him? A part of him knows that this must only be in his own mind - he's never known Christine to be cruel in any manner, surely playing such a trick on him is not in her nature - but it can be difficult to stay rational when those voices whisper in his ear, overpowering common sense and logic. He pushes such thoughts away as best he can, reminds himself of all the evidence to the contrary. Christine is his angel, she would never do such a thing to him... Would she?

He wishes he could take a deep breath but the ability to do so has apparently left him. He wants to believe that on the other side of this is his future bride, but despite all his reasoning to himself there is a part of his mind that still tells him this can never be - Daae is having a laugh at you, the room will be empty, and even if it isn't, even if she is there and her intentions are true, you will never be happy together because your wickedness will surely poison her, the evilness of your soul will pollute and corrupt her and for that sin - the sin of destroying the purity of an innocent angel - there will certainly be no forgiveness.

All these things run through his head as he stands there, hand outstretched to the door, the seconds slipping past to the moment when he will have to turn the knob and face his fate. His heart pounds in his ears and he almost considers turning and running, running until his legs can no longer support him.

But that would break her heart, to leave her like this. One does not break the heart of an angel unless one is a devil, and oh - he is so tired of being a devil.

He takes what breath he can manage, and pushes the door.

Wonder beyond measure - she is sitting there on the couch before the fire, her eyes gazing at him with such a soul-rending tenderness that he can barely stand it. Her lips part as though to speak as he enters the room, but she cannot find the words to bring her thoughts into being. Her hand rests gently over her heart, the fire's light illuminating the diamond ring on her finger - his ring. Their engagement ring.

He falls to his knees before her and grabs her hands, kissing them, resting his forehead on her knees, and he thinks maybe he is crying because he hears someone crying but he cannot be certain that the noise is coming from him - he cannot be certain of very many things at that moment - all he knows is that Christine is here and she is wearing his ring and she's here all on her own because she wants to be here, not because he's kidnapped her, not because he's threatened her boy, not because he's said some awful thing to force her to be here, but because she wants to be here and if she wants to be here, then that must mean that she wants him, too.

He does not understand it. He does not deserve it. But he will gladly, gladly take it.

He looks up at her with adoring eyes.

"Christine, are you certain?" he whispers, his voice strained from crying. "Are you very certain? I- I can never offer you normalcy."

She pulls him up to sit beside her on the couch and leans in close to him, her voice low.

"Normalcy is often overrated, my darling."

And she deftly pushes his mask back and kisses his lips.