A/N – I do not own Fairy Tail

Chapter 23 – Truth & Consequences

"Okay," I said setting down my pen, "You're going to have to tell me what's wrong."

Beside me Juvia sighed for what must have been the third time in ten minutes. We were studying in her bedroom again. Or at least I was revising. As far as I could tell Juvia wasn't even pretending to study anymore. She'd been fairly subdued since I'd arrived two hours earlier and I had tried my best to ignore it. My desire to know more of her secrets equalled my desire to keep our relationship as uncomplicated as possible. The juxtaposition had me hesitating over what action to take but, for this moment, her unhappiness was all too obvious. It was stopping her from focusing and had the knock on effect of distracting me. At some point I was going to have to put my foot down or risk yet another wasted day of ineffective revision.

"It's nothing." She murmured while looking like someone had come along and stolen all the stars out of the sky.

"It clearly isn't nothing. You're miserable and that's not like you. You're supposed to be happy when your with me." It was meant to be a simple statement but even to my ears it sounded like an accusation. I held in a grimace. It was a little conceited to expect my presence to inspire automatic happiness but this was Juvia. I had good grounds to believe that this study "date" was pretty much a dream come true for her. So why the long face?

"Gray-sama wouldn't care about this."

"Try me."

"Its Gajeel-kun… See, look Juvia knew Gray-sama wouldn't care."

I hadn't been able to stop myself from tensing when Juvia said that idiot's name. I imagined my expression wasn't holding back much either. My throw down with Gajeel was too recent for me to stop the kneejerk reaction. Still, I could swallow down my anger for the moment. "I care. About you. Tell me what's wrong."

Juvia gave me a weary glance then mumbled, "We had a fight. Sort of."

I frowned, "About me? Because that's ridiculous. That asshole can't tell you who to be friends with."

"Not about Gray-sama," Juvia said and I swear I saw her roll her eyes. "Not everything is about Gray-sama".

Yup, that had definitely been an eye roll. "Then what?"

Juvia shrugged, "Gajeel-kun had a argument with Levy-san because of Juvia."

I scoffed, "Levy finally get jealous?"

Juvia flinched and my laughter faded away. "I was joking. Levy wouldn't think that way." Or at least I was fairly certain she wouldn't. "And even if she did, that's not your problem."

"Gray-sama doesn't understand."

"You're right. I don't. It's their relationship, let them sort it out."

Juvia bit her lip and I could tell from the furrow in her brow that she wasn't ready to let it go quite that easily. Time for a different tactic. "What's in the box?"


The box. Gray-sama said it so casually, as if that innocuous brown package wasn't a Trojan horse sent to ambush me right when I was at my lowest point.

Last night I'd been nothing but a bundle of nerves. Thoughts of Gajeel and Levy had consumed me. What if they broke up? It would be all my fault. If only I hadn't followed Gray-sama to that club. If only I hadn't accepted that spiked drink. If only we hadn't gone after Vildaldus. If only we'd come up with a proper cover story. If only, if only, if only. It was buzzing around my head incessantly. Opening the box from Nieve had been a welcomed distraction. Only it had backfired spectacularly.

I crossed over to where the box had been dumped unceremoniously at the base of my bed and pulled out the first surprise from my sister.

"A prom dress?" Gray asked, recoiling as if I'd produced a dead fish.

"Worse," I replied holding the grey chiffon maxi dress up against my body. The pearlescent fabric shimmered in the early afternoon sunshine and I couldn't resist trailing my fingers across the smooth satin ribbon that defined the waistline. While the front was plain enough, the back of the dress dipped dangerously low meaning a backless bra would be a necessity. A rather daring choice for my straight laced sister. "It's a bridesmaid dress. From Juvia's sister."

"Oh. I didn't know you had a sister."

"Hmm. Nieve is Juvia's onee-sama. She's getting married next April."

"That's…nice." Gray-sama said in a tone that implied the opposite.

I could relate to the feeling. Especially when it appeared Nieve had taken her pushiness to the next level in regards to me attending her wedding. I sighed and spread the dress out on my bed before reaching in the box for the second surprise.

Another maxi dress. This one a soft blush with a sweetheart neckline and a dusting of crystals over the bodice. It was very pretty but it wouldn't suit me which I'm sure Nieve would have known. That meant only one thing. Our mother had a hand in choosing this one. Not that Mother would ever send anything to me. Still I could imagine her bullying Nieve into choosing something traditional and what was more traditional than this frothy pink overload.

"Why do you need two?" Gray asked.

"Wait for it," I mumbled as I laid the dress next to the first one.

The third dress I lifted from the box was by far my favourite. It was a deep swirl of blue lace. Near enough the exact shade of my hair. Of Nieve's hair. A fact I'm sure was no coincidence. The bodice would be tight but the knee length skirt flared out from the waist into layer upon layer of lightweight chiffon. I had to fight the urge to twirl just holding the dress against my chest. I loved it.

However, that love was tempered with irritation at my sister's all too obvious attempt at manipulation. The pink dress was to appease Mother, the backless dress was to scandalise her and the lace was the so called 'compromise'. Only it wasn't a compromise at all. Nieve would have wanted the blue dress all along. It was a reminder that while I had escaped our overbearing parents, Nieve had learned to play the game to get what she wanted. And now she was using those techniques on me. She must have known I would struggle to resist such a beautiful dress. More importantly, Nieve could have sent only the blue one. Yet, in sending all three I was forced to reply to her letter with a definite choice. Something she would take as tacit agreement to being her bridesmaid.

The pressure was too much. I had to tell I wasn't coming. I'd known from the beginning that this day would come but holding the pen against the paper last night I couldn't find the words to destroy her fairy tale. Ruin my best friend's relationship and my sister's wedding all in one night? It was more than I could handle.


I really couldn't handle the sad look on Juvia's face. Shouldn't her sister's wedding be a happy event? Then again, something was obviously off. I didn't have much experience with weddings but I was pretty damn sure that even the bride only needed one dress. Mavis only knew how Juvia had ended up with three damn outfits.

Going by her current expression Juvia couldn't figure it out either. Or if she could the conclusion she'd reached wasn't a happy one. "Hey," I said reaching out to ease the dress out from the death grip she had on it, "Let's get out of here."

"Huh?"

"We can go on a walk. Get some fresh air or something."

"That might be a good idea. Juvia wanted to go for a swim today but…" She trailed off and rested a hand against her throat which was still covered in bruises. She wouldn't be wearing a swimsuit for at least a few more days. "Juvia needs to think."

I smiled,"Or stop over thinking. A walk will be perfect. Doing something physical always helps me get out of my head." I could understand her compulsion to get moving. It was a trait we had in common apparently.

Juvia smiled back at me, a poor imitation of her usual grin. "Maybe Gray-sama is right. Juvia can't focus on revision anyway."

"Cool. I wanted to stop by the dojo. Might as well be today."

"The dojo?" Juvia asked as she wound the requisite scarf around her neck.

"Yeah," I murmured and couldn't stop myself from reaching out to tug at the edge of the fabric. Hiding those bruises with whisper thin silk. A artful disguise like so much else about this girl.

"Thank you."

I swallowed and stepped back, off put by how easy it was to casually touch her. That was one habit I definitely didn't want to fall into.


We fell into a easy rhythm, walking side by side on the familiar path that lead down into the town. Usually I would have so much to say to Gray-sama but my thoughts consumed me and he seemed more than content with our comfortable silence.

My brain bounced restlessly back and forth, mulling over my issues with Gajeel and Nieve. Deep down I knew the answer to both problems was the same. I wasn't sure if I had the courage to do what needed to be done though. What I should have done for Nieve months ago when she first started writing about her wedding, and for Gajeel at any moment during the last couple of days when it became obvious the toll our lies were taking on his relationship with Levy. I tried to let the thoughts go and quiet the turmoil roiling through my gut. That was the whole point of this walk. I breathed deep and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

The dojo was on a narrow street, surrounded by traditional houses. It felt a bit like stepping back in time whenever I came here, at least initially. The whole neighbourhood had a old world feel to it. The dojo itself was classically spartan. All clean lines, dark wood worn smooth by hundreds if not thousands of feet and light filtering through the thin shoji. It was also empty. As beautiful as the room was, the martial arts school had long since outgrown its size. It was used mainly for demonstrations and special events. Despite that I knew each student took exceptional pride in its appearance. It was religiously cleaned and even Gajeel had spent his fair share of Saturdays polishing the floor until it gleamed.

We paused inside the entrance and, as per tradition, bowed towards the shomen. I peeked at Gray-sama out of the corner of my eye. His bow was deep and sincere, palms pressed flat against his thighs. He was serious about this, all my friends who trained were. It had taken Gajeel a while to get used to it. This place where honour and respect were cherished more than brute strength. It was a good fit for him though. The dojo had a hierarchy much like Phantom Lord did and Gajeel had found his place fairly quickly. The intense workouts took the edge off and Sensei's strict discipline felt natural after years living under Jose's rule. Those parts were easy but the actual sparing was a little more difficult. Gajeel-kun hadn't enjoyed it at first. Having to pull his punches and finish the fight before, in his opinion, it was truly finished. Yet, over time his complaints had diminished and his fighting technique had changed. It was smoother now, controlled in a way it hadn't been before. He was so much stronger and I couldn't help but be proud of him.

Unbidden, tears sprung to my eyes. My love for Gajeel-kun was so all encompassing. For so long he'd been everything, literally everything good about my life. And all I did these days was fuck up his life. The thoughts I'd been warring with fell silent. When it came to my best friend I would always find the courage to do what had to be done. For him I could be brave. With him I could conquer anything. I made up my mind, right then, exactly what I would do to make sure that things worked out the way they should between him and Levy. This was going to hurt like a bitch but sometimes love is painful. And sometimes, you cry.


As I rose from my bow I noticed Juvia wiping at her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said even as teardrops danced on her lower lashes, "It's just so beautiful here. Like a place where you can find yourself."

I couldn't argue with her. Mavis knows how many times I'd found myself here, lost, searching for answers and finding peace. Standing here now, I couldn't remember why I'd ever wanted to quit. "Come on," I said, my hand reaching out without my permission to rest on Juvia's hip and guide her out the side door. God damn it. Why couldn't I stop touching her?

We stepped out onto the wooden walkway that lead to the back of the dojo and the more modern building which housed the training centre. Halfway down, a figure turned the corner and started towards us. Juvia sucking in a sharp breath of air was my only warning and then I was staring into Gajeel's sullen face.

Fucking wonderful.

We stopped a few feet from each other. I eyed him warily. There was no chance of me starting anything, not here, not now. One of Sensei's rules was no fighting outside of organised spars. He'd never let me start training again if I couldn't respect the basics on my first day back.

I needn't have worried. Gajeel didn't even acknowledge me. His full focus was on Juvia, "Have you been crying?"

"Yes but not for the reason Gajeel-kun thinks."

There was a loaded silence. Then for the second time in the short revolution of our friendship Juvia stepped away from me to stand next to Gajeel. Something red hot and ugly flashed through my chest as I watched Juvia thread her fingers with Gajeel's. "Gray-sama, Juvia needs to talk to Gajeel for a minute. Is that okay?"

"Sure. Whatever." I heard myself say in a voice far detached from the emotions rolling through me. I brushed past them and didn't look back.


I watched Gray-sama's back as he walked away and breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't decided on a rematch with Gajeel-kun. Gajeel-kun, whose hand felt so solid and warm in mine. I'd half expected him to shrug off my touch. The walkway was hardly private and he wasn't the touchy-feely type. But maybe after the last couple days, he needed my strength the same way I needed his.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

A tug on my hand had me heading back in the direction I'd just come from but I didn't complain. "I'm fine."

"Are you," I had to pause to lick my suddenly dry lips, "Are you still... Together?"

"Yeah. We're not going to break up. Things are a little rough that's all."

The conversation stalled as we faced the shomen for another bow before we left the dojo. "What happened?"

"She's upset. Levy knows we've been lying to her. I've been lying to her," he said. A slight crease in his forehead was the only outward sign that the thought made him uncomfortable. "She said she needs to think about things."

A cold shiver ran down my spine and I pulled us to a stop, right in the middle of the street. "What exactly did she say?"

Gajeel-kun looked away from me and sighed, "She wants…space."

"Gajeel?" I gasped, mortified with all that little phrase suggested. "Tell me what she said." I gave his arm a shake.

His shoulders sagged. "She doesn't want to see me for a few days. All the drama was messing with her head and she couldn't focus on her revision. We're going to talk about it after the exams."

Exams. Almost three weeks from now and certainly longer than a few days. It was probably the longest amount of time the two of them would be apart since they got together. My mind whirled with everything that was going unsaid. All the important words hidden between the lines. I was stunned into silence. Unbelievably, Gajeel was still talking. My normally taciturn best friend was rambling. A whole torrent of explanations and platitudes, which I was sure Levy fed to him to disguise the fact she was about to shred his heart to pieces, fell into the space between us. I looked up into his eyes and saw the truth right away. He knew. He knew exactly what it meant when the other half of your heart wanted "space".

Sometimes love is painful. Sometimes you cry.

And sometimes you fight.

"Call her," I said interrupting him.

"And tell her what?"

"Everything. We should tell her everything."


Everything looked the same. I'd been coming to this dojo since I was 12 years old and over those years not much had changed. It had always been a place where I could sweat out my frustrations and leave feeling stronger. I hoped that would still be the case as I walked the halls in a daze trying to untangle the knot in my stomach.

I didn't even know where to start deciphering what had happened. Juvia had snubbed me, yet again, in favour of Gajeel. And I was annoyed? Or worse, jealous? How was that even possible? Gajeel had thrown that ridiculous suggestion at me only a couple days ago and my immediate reaction was to deny it. It couldn't be true. Just thinking that word made me want to punch myself in the face. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn't trying to be her new best friend. I wanted to get our relationship on solid ground and get through this month with Juvia exactly where she should always be - firmly in my friend zone. So why was I letting her twist me into shapes?

God damn it. Every time I felt like I was getting a grip on this messed up situation, Juvia sent me straight back to square one. And don't get me started on that bastard Gajeel. What was so fucking special about him? I'd tried to brush off my feelings from our last encounter but they kept coming back to haunt me. I wanted to forget the whole thing the way I usually did but I hadn't come all the way to the dojo only to leave before speaking to my old sensei. So I left my phone in my back pocket for the moment and headed for his office.

I stomped around a corner, mentally sorting through who in my contact list I could potentially lose myself with, and nearly collided with Erza. She was wearing a crisp white gi and her hair was up in its usual ponytail. What the hell? Wasn't anyone actually getting some revision done?

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I could say the same to you."

Erza frowned, "Actually, no you can't. I train here. You haven't stepped foot in the dojo in months. What's with the attitude? Sensei is not going to take any crap from you."

I sucked in a deep breath, "Look, I just want to talk to sensei then get the hell out of here."

"Are you going to join the dojo again? That's great. You don't seem too happy about it though."

"I'm thrilled," I deadpanned, "About the dojo. It's everything else that's got me feeling so-" Angry? Confused? Fucked up beyond all recognition? "Frustrated."

"Frustrated huh?" The frown had disappeared and in its place was a familiar teasing grin. I knew she was trying to get me to lighten up but I really wasn't in the mood. "I thought that was the kind of thing you usually worked out between the sheets."

The offhand comment was a little too close to my current thoughts. "Are you offering?" I heard myself demand and couldn't believe the words had come out of my mouth. It was one thing to taunt Gajeel with a silly remark like that but this was Erza. Jellal wouldn't have to tell me I'd crossed the line, Erza would eviscerate me herself after that stupid question.

Only she didn't. The smile faded away, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared me down.

"Shit. Sorry Erza. You know I didn't mean that." I would never lay a finger on Erza. It didn't matter that she was one of the hottest girls I'd ever met. She was Jellal's. End of story. There was no question, no debate, no thinking 'maybe'. There were only the facts. Jellal was like a brother to me and the past linking our lives was beyond complicated. Erza was completely off limits. Normally, I wouldn't even joke about that and an achingly familiar sick feeling swept over me. How could I have said that?

"I know. I'm not the right type for guys like you."

"What?" She had that same controlled blank look on her face from last weekend. If it wasn't enough that I felt physically ill, now I truly felt like kicking myself when I remembered Jellal and Erza were in the middle of some weird fight. Great. I was randomly propositioning one of my closest friend's girlfriend at quite possibly the worst time ever. I really was a terrible person.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. Everything," she said taking a deep breath, "Is fine."

"What?" I repeatedly dumbly. I probably sounded like a broken record but my mind was completely incapable of coming up with anything more intelligent. After all, at least half of my brain power was committed to trying to figure out what I would say to Jellal when he found out about this. Clearly, this would need some kind of explanation and I wouldn't have one.

"I was going to use one of the punching bags but you pretty much just asked me to kick your ass. So, studio C?"

I blinked at her and then didn't resist as she half dragged me back down the hallway. I was about to get my ass kicked but at this point I more or less deserved it.


"Levy deserves to know," I said firmly.

Gajeel-kun shook his head, "Juvia, what are you saying? We spent months hiding this and went way over the top this weekend to keep anyone from finding out. Now, out of nowhere, you want to tell Levy."

"No, Juvia doesn't." And I didn't. Not really. I wanted to keep living my good girl fantasy. I wanted to be that sweet, average teenager they all thought I was. But I wished for Gajeel's happiness more. "Still, we should tell her."

"If you don't want to why are we even talking about this?"

"Because Gajeel-kun wants to." It wasn't a question. All the chaos going on in his relationship with Levy would be solved so easily if we came clean. It was the obvious answer I'd been so avidly avoiding earlier and if I could figure it out then surely the thought most have crossed Gajeel's mind. Levy didn't want to be lied to. She'd said it was the poison that would destroy her trust in Gajeel. Therefore the only antidote was a healthy dose of honesty. The silence between us stretched, heavy and uncomfortable. Gajeel's eyes searched mine and I forced myself not to look away. This was one battle of wills I could not afford to lose.

Finally he spoke, "I never said I wanted to tell her."

"Gajeel-kun didn't have to. Juvia knew it would come to this. All this time, Juvia has been terrified someone would find out about us. All the bad things in the past that could ruin our fresh start. Juvia's scared now too but for a different reason. Juvia is scared that no matter if we stay silent or speak up the past will destroy our future. Levy-san might never look at Juvia or Gajeel in the same way after she finds out the truth." I had to take a deep breath and force down images of Levy telling all our friends about our criminal pasts. The way they would look at us; exactly like the monsters we really were. What would Gray-sama think? Oh god, I really didn't know if I could do this.

My faltering wasn't missed by Gajeel. "Levy's not judgemental. I've always thought it would be okay, if she knew."

He'd always thought that? I paused and ran back over our conversation, a slow realisation coming over me. Gajeel wanted to tell Levy. He'd always wanted to tell her. And he hadn't. Like he said, telling Levy had never even been mentioned but it wasn't hard to read between the lines. Just because he never actually said to me that he wanted to tell her didn't mean it wasn't something he secretly wanted to do. I didn't need to ask why he hadn't. It was obviously because of me. I was the one always freaking out about our past coming to light. I was on the verge of doing it now. Although I might have only realised today that this was the inevitable conclusion we were heading for that wasn't the case for Gajeel. "How long has Gajeel-kun wanted to tell Levy-san?"

"A couple months," Gajeel said with a shrug. "We've been talking about college, planning the future. It started to feel weird. Her not knowing."

"Why didn't Gajeel-kun tell Juvia?" I needed to hear it from him.

"You were happy."

That's it. That was all he said, like that was all that mattered. I stared at him, exasperated and grateful all at the same time. My doubts seemed so insignificant in the face of his willingness to sacrifice so much for me without saying a word. I felt the balance of our relationship tipping once again in his direction. I'd become unbearably selfish in the last year. So unaware of everything outside my own little bubble. Yet again, I owed Gajeel for all the ways he had my back. I could do this, for him.

It was time for truth and consequences. "Call Levy-san."