Shelby left for work earlier than usual on Thursday, wanting to speak to the principal before classes started. "Shelby" He was surprised to see her in his office again so soon, "is everything okay?"
Shelby nodded and sat in the chair he gestured to. "Actually. Everything isn't okay, but I, I'm not here as a member of staff or your employee, I'd like to speak to you as a parent. A parent of a child who was assaulted by students from Carmel last night."
"A parent… I'm sorry Shelby, I think you're going to have to explain" he frowned, Shelby had never mentioned having a child before.
"It's a long story" Shelby sighed, "to cut it short, I was a surrogate for a gay couple, my daughter was raised exclusively by her fathers for most of her life, she and I have only started to build a relationship very recently" the man nodded so Shelby continued, "she goes to McKinley and she had a brief romantic relationship with Jesse StJames when he transfered there. I got home last night to find her crying in the shower, eventually she told me that several members of VA turned up at McKinley to throw eggs at her, despite Jesse knowing that she's a very strict vegan."
"Is there any way that your daughter could identify the VA members involved?"
"She already has" Shelby told him, it had taken a little coaxing, Shelby again reminding Rachel that she'd find out one way or another, but Rachel had pointed out the people who'd attacked her from a team photo Shelby had on her phone.
Shelby gave the principal the names he wanted, believing him when he said they would be dealt with accordingly, she knew that, unlike McKinley, Carmel had a pretty tough 'no bullying' stance, and despite this incident happening off school grounds, the principal would still take it seriously. She spent a little while longer with the man, speaking to him about how she wanted to handle it as VA's coach before thanking him for his help and heading for her homeroom.
She did her best to keep calm, not letting on that anything was wrong as she taught several of the students that had attacked her daughter, waiting until lunchtime rehearsal to reveal that she was only too aware what they'd done to Rachel.
Vocal Adrenaline had expected to get straight into their rehearsal but Shelby had other ideas, instructing them to stand in a line on the stage, the tone of her voice making it quite clear that she wanted them to do it instantly and without question. She paced up and down the stage a couple of times, not saying anything, not looking up as she mused over what she was going to say. She could almost feel the tension in the air, a handful of students having an idea what was going on, the majority of the group completely confused by their Coach's actions.
"I've picked several of you up from house parties when you've been less than sober to make sure you got home safely." Shelby finally spoke, still pacing the stage in front of her students. "I've sat in the hospital with you in the middle of the night when your mom needed emergency surgery and your Dad was out of town. I've picked you up and taken you to the ER when you slipped on ice, broke your wrist and got concussion. I've, at one time or another, paid out of my own pocket to get more than one of you emergency contraception when you needed it. On separate occasions, three of you have named me as your responsible adult when you got arrested and I showed up, got you out and took you home. One of you even turned up at my apartment at 3am, I opened the door and let you sleep on my couch. I've given you lunch money, I've taken you to countless doctors appointments and auditions over the years and I did every single one of those things, and many more, without question or judgement. I've celebrated your successes and I've helped you pick up the pieces when things haven't quite gone to plan. I trusted you, I supported you, I was proud of the family we'd grown to be. And how do you choose to repay me for everything I've done for you?" Shelby asked, not giving anyone chance to answer before she answered her own question. "You thank me by intimidating and throwing eggs at my daughter. After everything I've done for you, you can't even have the decency of showing me or my daughter a little bit of respect? Because by attacking her, you've attacked me." She stopped pacing and turned to face the group seeing the guilty looks on several faces, and the looks of sheer confusion on the faces of those who hadn't been involved.
"Coa…"
"I didn't ask you to speak" Shelby snapped. "Maybe I was wasting my time with you. I thought that, as well as building the best show choir the country has to offer, I was building a group of kind, compassionate young men and women but apparently I was wrong. Apparently there are a group of you who still don't think of anyone but themselves. Who thought that bullying my daughter, that trying to break the one thing I love more than anything else in the world, would make me change my mind about stepping down as coach. Do you really think I want to spend more time with anyone who thinks that sort of behaviour is acceptable?" There was silence, "I asked you a question."
There was a murmur of "no Miss Corcoran" and Shelby resumed her pacing, wishing she had a cigarette right now.
"I respected you, and, if any of you had come to my office, had asked me politely, I would have explained why I've made the decision to stop coaching, but now, I don't think you deserve the explanation. But I will tell you that it has absolutely nothing to do with my daughter. I didn't even tell her I was stepping down until after I'd told you. And I was happy to keep coaching you until a replacement was found, but I spoke to the principal today and told him I'd changed my mind, that I wanted my resignation as your coach to start with immediate effect. I'm done. You don't disrespect me, disrespect my family the way you did and then get to carry on like nothing's happened. If you want to run your own rehearsals until a new coach is found then you can, but I'm done. What I will tell you though, is that, coach or not. If I see any single one of you so much as look in the direction of my daughter again, you'll regret it. And trust me, that isn't a threat from your coach, it's a promise from Rachel's Mom." She didn't wait for a response, simply turned and left the auditorium without another word, leaving a group of shocked teenagers stood on the stage.
Shelby headed straight for her office, closing and locking the door before sinking down the wood to the floor. Her head falling into her hands as she let out a long sigh. She pulled her phone from her pocket, texting Rachel, Hiram and Leroy, letting them all know that Vocal Adrenaline had been dealt with, that she'd dealt with them as their coach and the principal would deal with them too.
It took a while but eventually she managed to push herself to her feet, taking a few steps across her office to collapse in her chair. "Come on" she mumbled to herself as she looked at the lunch Leroy had made for her that morning, "for Rachel" she reminded herself as she picked at the salad she found in the box. She wanted to eat something, she knew she needed to eat something but, not only did she not have an appetite, her stomach felt like it was in knots after telling VA she wouldn't be coaching them any more. She managed just two mouthfuls of food before giving up, taking out the smoothie he'd made instead. As much as she wanted to eat, she knew that she was unlikely to manage much more of the salad. Drinking the smoothie wasn't ideal, but right now it was better than nothing.
A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts a while later but she just ignored it, she wasn't sure she could face anyone right now, she just wanted some peace, she wanted to be alone, at least until the bell rang for afternoon classes. There was a second knock a few minutes later that again she ignored, Shelby glad she'd locked the door when she heard someone try to open it. She rolled her eyes when there was a third knock, whoever it was had knocked twice with no answer and they knew the door was locked, why hadn't they taken the hint?
"Shelby" she ignored Jesse as she found him standing outside her office as she headed back to her classroom for the afternoon.
"It's Miss Corcoran" she told him firmly, "you lost the right to call me anything else when you cracked an egg on my daughter's head Jesse."
"I can explain…"
"No" she told him, "there is absolutely nothing you can say that will make me think your actions last night were anything but an assault on, not only my daughter but on me too. I trusted you Jesse. You told me you wouldn't hurt her and yet here we are."
"I didn't mean to…"
Shelby raised an eyebrow, "so an egg accidentally fell into your hand? You accidentally transported yourself across town to my daughter's school? Accidentally found her at the end of the day? Accidentally cracked an egg on her head? Bullshit Jesse. You knew exactly what you were doing, you knew exactly how much it would hurt Rachel, and you knew hurting her would hurt me yet you did it anyway. I'm not sure what you thought you'd gain from hurting me and my daughter, but I sincerely hope you're happy now Jesse."
"You're not really leaving Vocal Adrenaline are you?" Jesse fell into step beside Shelby.
"Yes. I am, and that decision had absolutely nothing to do with Rachel, she had no idea I was even thinking about stepping down as Coach. I only told her I was resigning after I'd done it, after I told the team."
"But why, VA is your life."
Shelby stopped outside her classroom, "not any more" she told him, "now I have a class" she gestured to her classroom, "and so do you" she turned her back on the boy before turning to face him again, "oh, and Jesse, I meant what I said. Stay away from Rachel."
As she left Carmel that afternoon Shelby found herself dialing Hiram's number, speaking briefly to him before popping a piece of nicotine gum into her mouth and beginning to drive.
"Mom" Rachel was surprised to find Shelby sat in the parking lot when she came out after glee, "what are you doing here?" she asked as she climbed into the SUV, "not that I'm not happy to see you, I was just expecting Daddy to pick me up."
"I know" Shelby said softly, waiting for Rachel to put her seatbelt on before pulling out of the parking space, smiling when she saw Rachel wave to a couple of people, "I called him as I was leaving work, we didn't really get to do anything last night so I asked if he'd mind me picking you up and, if you want to of course, taking you out for an hour or two."
"Of course I want to spend time with you" Rachel beamed, "do you have anything in mind?"
"I thought we could go to the mall, see if anything catches our eye and maybe get dinner too?"
"That would be good" Rachel smiled "but we, we don't have to get anything to eat if you don't feel up to it?" she said softly, knowing Shelby had been struggling to eat recently.
Shelby reached out, gently squeezing Rachel's hand with her own, "I want to" she told her, it wasn't a lie, she did want to, whether or not she'd be able to eat anything was a different matter all together.
They walked around the mall together for a while. As much as she didn't want to, Shelby bought herself some new clothes for work, she'd noticed her clothes getting looser for a while, but she'd truer to ignore it, tried to tell herself that she'd be okay, that she'd be able to start eating again and put on the weight she'd lost, but it seemed like that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She didn't buy too much though, trying to cling to the hope that she'd get a grip on her mental health and her appetite would come back.
Rachel in the other hand was more enthusiastic than her Mom, and Shelby couldn't help but smile at how excited Rachel seemed to be. Shelby knew it was simple, that shopping with their daughter was something a lot of parents would take for granted, but it was the first time she'd ever been able to do it and she knew that right now, she'd buy Rachel anything she wanted.
"Have they got your size?" she asked as she saw Rachel looking at a dress, she'd yet to buy her daughter anything and wasn't going to let her leave empty handed.
"It's 60 dollars!" Rachel said as she turned to face her Mom.
"I didn't ask how much it was, I asked if they had your size" Shelby said as she began looking through the dresses.
"Yeah they, yeah… " Rachel nodded.
"Great, do you want to go try it on or…" Shelby saw the look on Rachel's face, "sorry, I shouldn't have… you were just looking, if you don't like it you don't have to get it" she was so stupid, so caught up in her own desire to feel like a 'normal' mother that she'd completely forgotten to ask if Rachel even liked the dress she'd been looking at.
"Mom, no" Rachel reached out and gently took hold of Shelby's hand, "I do like it, it's just, are you sure?"
Shelby gently squeezed Rachel's hand, the touch of her daughter helping quieten the voice in her head. "I wouldn't have brought you shopping if I wasn't willing to buy you a few things."
Rachel hugged Shelby tightly, "thank you Mom" she smiled before finding the dress in her size, "thank you."
"It's okay" Shelby returned the smile, "is there anything else you like?"
"I erm, I'm going out at the weekend, it's Tina's birthday, we're going to get food and then we're going to the movies, I was just going to wear something I already have but maybe…"
Shelby took the hint, "we can find you something to wear if you want."
With a little input from her Mom, Rachel chose a pair of jeans and a simple patterned top, Shelby picking out a wrap dress and a blazer for herself before they went to pay.
Shelby didn't bat an eyelid as she handed over her card at the counter, Rachel's eyes widening at the total. "Thank you" she hugged Shelby again as her Mom handed her the bag.
"It's okay" Shelby returned the hug, "is there anything else you want? Or any other stores you want to look in?"
Rachel shook her head, "this was more than enough Mom" she gestured to the bag, Shelby had spent almost two hundred dollars on three items of clothing for her, she couldn't expect her to pay for anything else.
"Look" Shelby sighed quietly as she took Rachel's hand, "I, I don't want you to ever think that if your Dads say no to buying you something you can just come to me and I'll go behind their backs, but I…" she sighed again, "I've never really had anyone or anything to spend my money on before, I'm not… I don't want you to think that you can have everything you want as soon as you want it, but equally, I don't want you to think I'm going to go bankrupt if I spend a couple hundred dollars on you."
"Thank you" Rachel nodded, "but you, you don't have to buy me things, I'm happy just to spend time with you."
"I know, and we won't be doing this every time we spend time together, but today, I…" she shook her head, "it doesn't matter."
"No" Rachel shook her head and reached for Shelby's hand again, seeing the look on her face, "what is it."
"You're my daughter" Shelby didn't look up at Rachel, "I'm your Mom and I, I've never bought anything for you before."
"Oh Mom" Rachel dropped Shelby's hand to pull her into a hug, it hadn't even crossed Rachel's mind that this was the first time she'd been shopping with her Mom.
"I'm sorry" Shelby whispered, "I shouldn't have pushed, if you don't want to get anything else we can just go get dinner, or we can just go home if you…"
"Dinner would be good" Rachel nodded, smiling slightly as she suggested, "and maybe we could look in the music store on the way to the food court?"
Shelby chuckled, "I'm sure we can manage that."
After Rachel picked out several pieces of sheet music, they walked to the food court together, where without asking, Shelby headed straight to the only restaurant in the mall that had more than one vegan choice on the menu, asking for a table for two. She wasn't really hungry, she never was, but she knew Rachel was beginning to worry about how little she ate, so she was determined to eat something, to try and reassure Rachel that she was okay.
Rachel and Shelby both ordered the same vegan burger, Shelby agreeing to share a portion of sweet potato fries with her daughter. "Thank you" Rachel said once the server had taken their order, "I always enjoy spending time with you, but it was nice to do something a bit different."
Shelby smiled, "if there's anything you want to do then I… I won't have VA practices anymore, and we, well, whatever you want to do, I'm sure we can make it happen."
"Another run?" Rachel teased.
"Sure" Shelby laughed, "I survived once, I'm sure I'll survive again."
"I would like to do yoga with you again" Rachel told Shelby, "I'd never done it before but I really enjoyed it."
"We can definitely do more yoga" Shelby nodded, "I'd like to try and get back into a habit of doing it more regularly, a couple of times a week at least, it would be nice for you to join me, even if only occasionally."
"I'd like that" Rachel smiled, "thank you."
They made small talk as they waited for their food, and it was only when Shelby was cutting her burger into smaller pieces that she decided to apologise, "I'm sorry" she didn't look up, "for earlier, I…"
"It's okay" Rachel said quickly.
"No" Shelby shook her head, putting her knife down when she'd cut her burger into four pieces, "it's not, but I…" she sighed as she tried to organise her thoughts so she could explain things to her daughter, "for so long the only image I had of you was of this tiny little newborn, I only saw you for a second or two but I knew I'd never forget what you looked like then, and over the years, I guess I got used to the fact that the next time I saw you again you'd be an adult, you'd have a job or you'd be in college. I know, I've always known that I was somebody's mother, but this, being able to mother you, being able to be your parent, it's a bit overwhelming sometimes, knowing that you're here, that I can spend time with you, that I get to know who you are, that I, that I can be your Mom. I feel like I'm still trying to find my feet as your Mom and it's all happened so suddenly, I feel like I'm still trying to work out how I fit into your life, but I promise" Shelby finally looked up at Rachel, "I promise you that I'll keep trying, I'll keep trying and I'll keep fighting until it gets easier."
"Thank you" Rachel said as she reached for Shelby's hand, "and I'm sorry too, it never occurred to me that this was the first time you've ever bought anything for me, and you're right, it is a little overwhelming sometimes, I've wanted to get to know you for so long that I, sometimes I want to pinch myself, I can't believe that you're really here, that I get to see you, speak to you every day. But that's okay, we can be overwhelmed and we can find our feet, figure out our relationship, we can do it all together."
Shelby smiled, "I do love you Rachel."
"I know" Rachel gently squeezed Shelby's hand, "I love you too Mom" she said before picking up her burger and taking a bite, hoping to encourage Shelby to do the same, desperate to do anything she could to help her Mom.
