Hi all, here is the second part of the long chapter, flashback continues.


HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann

Ayushmann remembers how they had overcome their awkwardness before stepping into Kartik and Aman's shoes and in order to do that, he needed to know they both were on same page and understand each other. So he does the only logical thing and invites Jitu to dinner to discuss their experiences with LGBT community and homophobia. And to discuss the kisses and physical intimacy in the movie, even though it isn't a lot but it is integral part of their characters and if they are not comfortable with each other, it could all go sideways pretty soon. When he invites, Jitu happily accepts. Jitu doesn't know what to expect from this dinner but he knows it's for the best so he accepts the invitation.

When he sees Khurrna's house for the first time, he cannot help but to feel inspired, they have a beautiful home. When he compliments Ayushmann points out that it is all Tahira and he would surely pass his compliments. Upon asking Ayushmann tells him Tahira and their son are gone to their parents as their son has holidays right now and wanted to spend more time with family. Ayushmann misses his family and spending time with them which became less with increasing Showbiz life.

During the dinner they keep their conversations light, revolving about their careers and family. Jitu can feel how lonely Ayushmann is at times. When he left his home to pursue career in this industry, family wasn't as supportive initially but they came around and now most complains were about him not having time for family and Jitu wasn't even doing films then so he can imagine what Ayushmann goes through. Also one thing he realised that despite what people speculate Ayushmann is a very private person and doesn't let anyone in that easily. They just get into conversations so easily from jumping from topic to topic with such ease.

"Coffee? Or Tea?" Jitu just blinks.

"What will you drink?"

"Oh... umm.. coffee will be nice."

Soon they take their drinks and move towards sitting area and get comfortable on sofa.

Jitu's gaze fall on huge vinyl collection, following his gaze Ayushmann tells him it's his collection and encourage Jitu to take a closer look. He sips his coffee as Jitu explores his collection with admiration on his face.

"Bohut impressive collection hai aapki." (Your collection is quite impressive.)

"Thank you. Waise itni formality kyun?" Jitu looks at him bit confused. (Thank you. But why this formality?)

"Aap." Ah. Jitu realises. (Aap?)

"Woh..." Jitu tries to answer but doesn't know what to say. (It's...)

"Ab please yeh mat kehna ke badon ki izzaat karte ho toh esi liye aap kehte ho." Jitu looks at Ayushmann in shock and then laughs. (Now please don't say that you respect your elders that's why you refer to me as 'aap'.)

Ayushmann smiles watching Jitu laughs it seems like he is finally losing himself a bit, otherwise he was too closed off, too serious. He knows it was good idea to have this dinner. He enjoys Jitu's laugh, suddenly he feels mischievous.

"Aap ke ilawa kuch bhi bol lo.. Ayushmann... yaan... Anshumann." As soon the last name rolls off his tongue, Jitu's laughter dies and face goes red and Ayushmann has to control himself hard not to give into laughter there and then. (You can call me anything... Ayushmann or Anshumann.)

"Woh... sorry.. us waqt..." Jitu becomes blabbering mess and Ayushmann not able to control anymore gives into laughter. (Sorry... about that...)

"Arey relax yaar. Kya hogaya hai? Hota hai, us time pe toh bohut hi zayada hota tha." (Just relax. It happens, used to happen a lot that time.)

"Aapko yaad thi humari meeting?" Is that shyness he detects in his tone, Ayushmann wonders. (You remember our first meeting?)

"Of course, kaise bhool sakta hon?" Jitu looks at him in surprise causing Ayushmann to backtrack. (Of course, how can I forget?)

"I mean, maine jo events attend kiye hain mostly yaad hain aur jab Hitesh ne bataya toh of course, TVF ke Jeetu bhaiya ko koun nahi janta." Jitu doesn't know to respond to it, he feels overwhelmed. (I mean, I remember most of events I attend and when Hitesh mentioned you, then of course I remember and who can forget the infamous TVF's Jeetu Bhahiya.)

"I'm sorry about the name."

"Please, it's okay." Ayushmann is as sincere in his response as Jitu is in his apology.

"So... have you kissed a guy before?" Jitu takes a sip of coffee in the exact moment when this question is directed at him catching him off guard causing his coffee to go in wrong pipe turning him into a coughing mess.

Ayushmann doesn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him. Jitu recovers quickly.

"What?!"

"Genuine question hai, I mean, movie ke liye." Jitu has confused look all over him so Ayushmann tries again. (It's a genuine question, I mean it's relevant to the movie.)

"Maine socha movie karni hai saath toh aik dosre ko jan'na zaroori hai. Aik dosre ke experiences LGBT community ke saath, homophobic experiences and of course, kissing. I guess, I should have started out in this order." Ayushmann replies and finally it dawns to Jitu, this is exactly why they were meeting tonight. This what was dinner about. He got so comfortable talking about other things, feeling at ease that he almost forgot the real purpose of this meeting.

(I thought if we are doing the movie together then it's good to know each other. To know about each other's experiences with LGBT community, homophobic experiences and of course, kissing. I guess, I should have started out in this order.)

Jitu comes and sits across Ayushmann on sofa. And they begin recounting their experiences. Ayushmann begins first, talking about his experience in college when he was asked attend that gay club party, they invited him as chief guest but he didn't go because he kept thinking about how will they act and what will happen. Looking back now, he feels ashamed but he opens up about the fact how they did not had the awareness about it and he also was bit homophobic. Entering into this industry slowly started to make Ayushmann awareness about LGBT but unfortunately, a lot of them were in closet and the more Ayushmann met them, his mind started to open up more. and his homophobia fading away.

Jitu can completely understand where Ayushmann is coming from, so he begins to share him experiences, talking about being in boarding school with all boys and how the experience there was. The ragging had huge hand in blurring lines between right and wrong and Jitu not understanding that at time but now looking back even he feels ignorant. He talks about how most of dares were about kissing other guys and casually slipping in he partook in those too. It takes moments for Ayushmann to process and Jitu keeps on talking but when it hits Ayushmann what the younger man said, his mind stops.

"Wait... what?"

"What?"

"You said... you have kissed a guy before."

"Guys."

"What?"

"I have kissed guys before."

"Okay." He replies slowly while his eyes trained on Jitu.

"It was bet." He replies feeling suddenly hot under that gaze.

"Oh. Please elaborate." Ayushmann says with teasing clearly visible in his tone.

"Esme elaborate kya karne. Bataya na dares hoti thi toh 2-3 bar mujhe bhi yehi dare mila toh..." (What's there to elaborate. I told you there used to be dares 2-3 times I got this dares so...)

"Okay... my turn. I have also kissed a guy before." This was not something Jitu had expected from Ayushmann, maybe the disbelieve is clear on his face.

"What? I have but only once."

"Well... that's good." Jitu replies not sure what else to say. If they both have kissed guys before then it should be fine during the film right.

"It wasn't." Ayushmann whispers but Jitu hears it. This confession does something to his heart but Jitu ignores it.

"Kaisi thi?" (How was it?)

"Kya?" (What?)

"Kiss with a guy. Or wait.. guys." The way Ayushmann says guys, it seems like the confession didn't settle well with him.

"Ermm... theek thi, I guess." (Ermm... it was okay, I guess.)

"Sirf theek?" That peaks his interest and Jitu feels at loss of words here. He doesn't know what Ayushmann is trying to do here. (Just okay?)

"Saare kisses sirf theek hi thi?" He asks again and Jitu is getting bit annoyed. (Were all kisses were just okay?)

"Matlab kya hai aapka?" (What do you mean?)

"Movie ke liye sirf theek kaafi nahi hai." Ayushmann replies quietly. (Okay is not good enough for this movie.)

"Toh phir? Kya practise karni hai?" Jitu jokes but it falls flat when Ayushmann doesn't laugh but looks at Jitu with pure intent. (Then what? You want to practise kissing?)

"Ayushmann..."

"Yeh perfect idea hai." (This is a perfect idea.)

"Yeh idea nahi hai... maine joke kiya tha." Jitu's heart is suddenly racing and meanwhile Ayushmann is debating with himself whether it's a good idea or not. He does not want to scare away Jitu, he doesn't want to be on a wrong foot here. (It's not an idea... I cracked a joke.)

"Kiss perfect hona zaroori nahi hai lekin hum dono ka aik dosre ki space mein comfortable hona zaroori hai. Agar hum dono aise hi react kareinge toh woh dikhayi dekha screen pe aur yeh acha nahi hai." It makes sense to Jitu where Ayushmann is coming from but something keep nagging him. (Kiss does not have to be perfect but we need to be comfortable in each other's space. If we both keep reacting like this then it'll reflect on screen and it's not good.)

"Aik baat poochon?" (Can I something?)

"Haan poocho." (Sure.)

"Maine script parhi hai aur jis tarhan yehi likhi gayi hai bohut hi khubsooraat hai. Kartik aur Aman ka pyaar feel hota hai, samjh mein ata hai ke unke beech ki kisses bohut special hain. Par kissing par itna zorr kyun?" (I have read the script and it is written so beautifully. Kartik & Aman's love can be felt in those words, it's understandable that their kisses are quite special. But why so much pressure on kissing?)

"Kyunki es film mein queer baiting nahi hogi. I'm tired of all this aur main yehi sab khatam karna chahta hon." (Because this film will not have queer baiting. I am tired of all this and I want to put an end to this.)

"Tumhe nahi lagta tum bohut pressure le rahe ho?" Tum... Jitu called Ayushmann 'tum' and he quietly smiles at his success. Jitu is opening up and getting comfortable around him. (Don't you think you are putting too much pressure on yourself?)

"Pressure toh hai, bohut hai. Agar yeh movie kisi bhi angle se thori si bhi ghalat hoyi toh..." (Pressure is there and if this movie goes wrong from any angle then...)

"Itna mat socho. Hitesh pe, hum sab pe bharosa hai na?" (Don't think too hard. Have faith in us and Hitesh.)

"Of course, bharosa hai." Ayushmann replies instantly. (Of course, I have faith.)

"Toh phir... itna mat socho, itna pressure mat dalo khudpar." Jitu's words bring comfort to him and Ayushmann feels more relaxed now. (Then don't think too much about it, don't put this pressure on yourself.)

The conversation dies down but there is still some tension in the air. Both are pondering over the conversation and absorbing everything. Jitu looks at this beautiful, amazing and versatile actor who has broken the stereotypes in Bollywood and is about to do that again. He can understand the pressure of this film and he is feeling that pressure himself as well even though if he doesn't show it. Ayushmann is right, if they don't get comfortable around each other and break this tension between them, it'll not project well on screen.

"Let's do it." Jitu says breaking the silence.

"Hhmm.. what?"

"Practise." That's all he says causing Ayushmann to look directly into his eyes.

"Wahan sabke samne try karne se better hai ke yahan hi practise karlein pehle." Jitu tries to explain whether it is to Ayushmann or his heart which is beating too loudly he doesn't know. (It's better to practise here than doing it out there in front of everyone.)

His words are met with silence and Jitu is looking anywhere but Ayushmann unaware of the fact that other man's eyes are glued to sight of him. In a swift Ayushmann is kneeling in front of Jitu on his knees startling Jitu causing him to jump. Ayushmann laughs.

"Relax." Their eyes lock and suddenly everything is quiet.

"Are you sure about this, Jitu?" Ayushmann asks him in all seriousness and Jitu is unable to form any words ends up just nodding.

"Then just relax." He puts his both hands on Jitu's knees causing current flowing through his body, before Jitu could say anything suddenly the hands move from his knees and Ayushmann is on his foot turning away from Jitu. Jitu is unable to understand what is going on but when he looks closely he can see Ayushmann's hands shaking and then he knows that other man is also as nervous as him.

Jitu stands up and goes upto him, standing just an inch away from him. Gently placing his hand on other man's shoulder causing other man to turn around avoiding Jitu's eyes. "We don't have to do this."

Jitu gently tells him causing Ayushmann to look at him, their eyes locking once again and Ayushmann shaking his head. They stand there for a moment in each other's space with Jitu's hand still on his shoulder, rubbing it slowly, eyes locked. In this moment he realises the true height gap between them and for some reason Jitu finds it hot. 'Hot,' what the hell he is thinking? How can... suddenly his mind shuts down as a hand comes up to his face to crease his cheek gently. Ayushmann moves slightly closer to fill the gap between them and without a second thought Jitu moves forward to close the gap entirely with their lips locking.

They stand there as their lips stay connected, eyes completely shut and mind completely calm. Minutes or was it seconds, they don't know, they pull apart gently, trying to calm their breathing. Jitu opens his eyes just a second earlier and his heart skips beat or two when he watches Ayushmann's flushed face, it's pure beauty. Then Ayushmann opens his eyes and Jitu's admiration comes to halt causing him to look away.

"Was it okay?" "Hmm?" Jitu looks at Ayushmann. They still haven't moved an inch.

"I mean... ke theek thi yaan... do you think we should try again?" Jitu blinks few times as he process the words, his body going hot all over. When he doesn't reply because his brain suddenly is gone too slow, Ayushmann starts to pull away and Jitu doesn't want to let go just yet. (I mean was it okay or... do you think we should do it again?)

"Sure." It comes out from his mouth before he can stop himself but it stops Ayushmann from moving away, so it counts as a win. This time the gap closes more quickly and they feel more comfortable than before.

They let their lips move to their own accord. Jitu's other hand moves from his side and sliding to Ayushmann's back, holding him gently for support. And Ayushmann's hand moves to back of Jitu's neck, his fingers gently playing with his hair. It causes Jitu to gasp, taking that as a chance, Ayushmann starts to play with his tongue causes Jitu's brain to completely shut down and give into kiss completely. Their tongues keep battle for dominance as they stand their for minutes or hours just kissing each other.

The need to breathe is what finally forces them to pull away. Jitu feels lightheaded as they pull away, not yet opening his eyes he focuses on catching his breathe. He realises they are still holding onto each other, their face almost touching as they catch their breathe.

Ayushmann opens his eyes first this time to find Jitu's awestruck face, looking so beautiful as he focuses on breathing. He must have sensed his gaze. He opens his eyes to meet with his gaze. Ayushmann offers him a smile, a real Ayushmann smile and Jitu mirrors that smile. Ayushmann closes the gap yet again but this time to pull younger man in a hug and whispers a 'thank you'. And Jitu knows it's not just for this but for everything, a simple thank you causes his heart to melt for this man. Ayushmann can feel Jitu's smile causing his heart to relax a bit. Once they break from hug silence takes over and Ayushmann does not want to go back into awkward zone once more.

"So... what it your best kiss with a guy or what?" Ayushmann jokes and Jitu looks at him with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hmm.." He just shrugs and Ayushmann is offended.

"Are you serious?" Jitu enjoys those pout look on Ayushmann before giving into a laughter fit causing Ayushmann to join in as well and just like that they move on to next topic, next conversation but something had shifted between them after that kiss, that hug. The atmosphere was not heavy anymore.


So... I hope you'll enjoyed it. :)

I knew I cannot write this story without this chapter, this flashback since Ayushmann had talked about it in his interview, talking about inviting Jitu for dinner to get to know each other and their experiences with LGBT before starting on the film.