IF YOU WANT ME YOU CAN HAVE ME-PART 23

Hello all. Is there a better way of spending Sunday afternoon than writing Chelsie stories? Not for me, at least not recently ;-) After a short break, during which I managed to wrote a new, Valentine's Day Chelsie story, I'm back again to my favorite one. In this chapter we will go through some difficult moments of Elsie's pregnancy. As I mentioned before, I'm not familiar with pregnancy symptoms, but I believe they must be difficult to bear at times. So let's take a closer look of how Elsie is handling this. Few of the downstairs group characters are involved here too. A little angst in the middle of the chapter, but don't worry, it will all be all right. I will never give our Chelsie any sad and dark moments, because I simply love them too much ;-) I hope you will like this.

Elsie felt tormented these days. Various pregnancy symptoms, rather unpleasant ones, really made her weary. She was used to live in a certain way, used to being a woman full of energy, it was always obvious that her life contained from hard work, from dawn till dusk. She liked the way she lived, she was never complaining. She knew that she had to get up every day, pull herself together and faced thousands of difficult tasks, that she had to dealt with every day. She gladly approved her life being like that. Sometimes she felt that she was like a hurricane, that couldn't be stopped. She was used to being quick and efficient.

However now things have changed. For the first time in her life, her body let her know, that she was no longer alone, that the little thing hidden under hear heart, has their own rights too and as the time went by, it was not afraid to show it more clearly. There was a lot of moments when she felt helpless and once or twice she even thought that she was not happy about her body totally letting her down, but she immediately scolded herself for thoughts of that kind. She dreamed about being a mother and she almost had to forgot those dreams, as time went by, accepting that it won't be possible and now, when the miracle happened, she just needed time to adjust to the fact that things were different.

Charles's behavior was another problem. Ever since he fully realized that he will become a father, he started to treat her with special attendance, too special for her liking. He was generally a kind and delicate man and she knew that and fully appreciated it before, however now, her mood swings didn't let her value that enough. He literally treated her like a small child, dancing around her, from the morning till the evening. Even though she loved her husband so much, that it was impossible to describe it with words, she felt pretty annoyed by his constant presence, especially during work hours. She was always an independent woman and now she felt that she was limited by his overwhelming concern. He was asking thousand questions each day, which were sweet at first, but after a while they became pretty aggravating: "Are you cold?", "Aren't you too hot?", "Do you like your tea?", "Did you get enough to eat?", "Shouldn't you lie down for a while and rest?" And so on and on. He treated her like a very precious porcelain and although she should have been grateful, she was not. The intimate part of their relationship has also changed. Elsie noticed, with sadness, that she was afraid to admit, that Charles didn't even allowed any intimate moments between them now, ever since he found out about her pregnancy. The only close contact they had now, was when she fell asleep in his arms at night, but that was only when she gave him clear signal that she wanted to be close to him and even when he embraced her, he was always careful not to let her too close to him and it was always her initiative. Nothing else happened in their marital bed and Elsie started to believe that her changing body might be the cause of it. She gained weight visibly, a lot of weight, much more than she would have expected at this stage of pregnancy and she was worried that her body was something that was rejecting Charles from her and that thought made her very sad. She was pregnant, but she was still a woman, a woman whose needs, woken up from a very long sleep, after they got married, were now put aside again. It was not easy to go back to life without love and intimacy, especially now, when she already knew how wonderful it was to be so close with Charles.

She was thinking about all these, going through the inventory, in her sitting room. She was standing by her desk, when she heard Charles's voice behind her:

"Elsie, darling, you shouldn't be on your feet all day. Please sit down for a while. You must be very tired. You are on your feet since early morning."

"I'm fine Charles. Really. I just wanted to check something. I will sit in a minute."

"Do you want me to bring you something from the kitchen? Maybe something to drink? Maybe you are hungry? You need to eat for two now."

"Really Charles, I know that and believe me, that even without eating for two, I'm fat enough, too fat for this stage of pregnancy."

"You are not fat Elsie, you are pregnant. You need to take care of a proper nutrition, for you and the baby."

"For heaven sake Charles, I already know that! I'm the one who is carrying our child!"

"Of course you are. I'm only worrying about you. Aren't you too cold? I have to go to the village now, for the war committee meeting, but if you like, I can ask one of the hall boys to light a fire in here, if you..."

"Charles will you stop fussing over me already?! It's all you've been doing all day! I can't take it anymore! Go to the meeting and I'll be fine! Just give me one hour of peace, please!"

"All right Elsie. I will go then." Charles's eyes suddenly became very sad and he left her sitting room very swiftly.

Elsie sighed, feeling tears gathering in her eyes. She understood that she hurt him deeply and she thought that she acted like a witch, but his fussing was simply unbearable. She was angry with herself. The mood swings were really taking it's toll. Anger mixed with sadness-those two emotions seemed to be with her all the time, refusing to leave her. She decided that she will apologize to him, when he gets back. She went back to her work, but obviously that wasn't meant to happen, as Beryl entered the room.

"What's going on Elsie? Why the old grump is so devastated? He went to the village a moment ago. He looked like he was carrying all the world on his shoulders."

"It's nothing Beryl..It's just that he is.."

"He is what?"

"I just can't stand all the fussing that he is doing, ever since he found out about the baby. He is getting on my nerves all day long!"

"Come on Elsie, he is just worried about you. Try to look at this from his point of view. He thought that he will die as an old bachelor and now he has a wife and a child on the way. He has to take care of you. It's his duty."

"But I can take care of myself. I always could. I've managed to do that for 45 years, why should now be any different?"

"Because you are married now. He is your husband and he is suppose to fuss over you. Elsie, I know you want to be independent, but things have changed now. Pregnancy is not an easy thing to go through. Of course I do't know anything about it, but I figure it must be hard. You shouldn't forget that you are not alone anymore. There is another person growing inside you."

"Don't remind me. I remember that every day. Especially when I look in the mirror. I'm getting fat far too quickly, even though I'm not eating that much, not as much as Charles would like me to eat."

"You should eat properly. Don't worry about the weight. You were always rather slim one, when you will deliver the baby, I'm sure you will go back to your figure quite fast."

"I hope so, otherwise I will look like a hippo. Enough about that. What's new with you? A little bird told me that you are spending all your free time with Mr Mason?"

"Well, not all of my free time, just some. I'm helping him and Daisy in the farm. It's nice to be useful for a friend."

"A friend? I'm pretty sure that he is more than just a friend..Do I hear wedding bells approaching?"

"No you're not. At least not yet, but if they will, you will be the first one to know, that I can tell you"

"I hope so! Otherwise I would be very offended!"

"I have to get back to the kitchen now, before Daisy will make a mess. See you at dinner."

"I see you then Beryl."

Elsie was almost finishing her paper work for today. She looked at the clock and it was almost dinner time. She was wondering what took Charles so long with the committee meeting. He must have left like two or three hours ago and he still wasn't back. It was his half day off and he didn't have to serve during dinner, but it was still unusual for him to be so long outside the house. Elsie took off the sweater, because when she got up from her desk, she suddenly felt hot flushes. She scolded herself, remembering that she indeed was working all day long and that she didn't even ate a proper lunch. Noises coming from the corridor, were indicating that it was dinner time for the servants. She put the papers on the desk and went towards the door, when suddenly she felt buzz in her head and her knees were weak. Her last thought was, that she will probably faint in the moment and the last thing that she managed to do was, putting her hands on her belly, to protect her little one from the fall and then the darkness covered everything.

"Elsie, where are you, we are starting dinner and you are not even here, we were just talking about proper eating and.." Beryl stormed into Elsie's sitting room and interrupted her monologue, with a shocked expression on her face, when she saw that her friend was lying on the floor, unconscious, holding her belly.

"Oh my God! Elsie, Elsie! Are you all right? Elsie! It's me Beryl! Anna! Miss Baxter! Come here at once!"

"What's wrong with Mrs Hughes?" Anna was terrified when she saw Elsie lying on the floor.

"I don't know. I found her lying here. She fainted."

"I will call Dr Clarkson at once"-Miss Baxter said and left the room.

"Elsie, Elsie, wake up, Elsie!" Beryl was near of a nervous breakdown, but she sighed with relief, seeing that Elsie is slowly opening her eyes.

"What...What is going on? Where am I?"

"You are in your sitting room. You have fainted. But it's all right now. Anna get her some water please"

"Right away Mrs Patmore"

Anna got out of the room, while Elsie was slowly coming back to reality.

"The baby. Oh my God, is the baby all right"-she touched her belly...Tears were forming in her eyes.

"Sh..Don't worry..I'm sure the baby is fine.."

"Dr Clarkson is on his way. Here Mrs Hughes, have some water." Anna was taking care of her older friend carefully.

"Where is Charles? Did he come back from the meeting? I want to see him"

"I'll ask Mr Molseley to go to the village, to find him Mrs Hughes"-Anna was helpful as usual.

"Thank you Anna. I need to see him."

Anna left the room again to search Mr Molseley, while Beryl covered Elsie with a blanket.

"You got us pretty scared Elsie. I told you to take care of you and you didn't listen."

"I guess I'll have to now."

"You will. You have no other choice."

Dr Clarkson arrived soon after, he checked Elsie, examined her precisely. He calmed her down, saying that there were no reasons to be worry about. He ordered more rest and a proper nutrition. He also reminded Elsie gently, that given her age, she should be really careful during her pregnancy.

In the same time Mr Molseley was on his way to the village, to find Mr Carson, but he didn't go far. He barely crossed the gates of Downton, when he noticed the tall figure of the butler.

"Mr Molseley, is everything all right? Why are you here?"

"Mr Carson, I was going to the village to find you"

"And why is that?"

"Mrs Hugh..Carson has fainted in her sitting room, she is.."

"Oh my God! Where is she?"

"She is with the doctor now, at least she was when I left, if you.."

Mr Molseley didn't have a chance to finish the sentence, as Charles walk passed him, making him almost hit the ground and ran into the house. He couldn't catch a breathe, when he got to the back entrance of the Abbey and stormed to Elsie's sitting room, to find her lying on the sofa, encircled by Mrs Patmore and Anna.

"Elsie, sweetheart, what happened? How are you?" He kneeled down the sofa and Anna and Mrs Patmore made room for him. He was pale as a ghost and visibly terrified.

"My sweetie, my heart, are you all right?" He was completely flustered, tears were running down his face, as he was kissing his wife gently, caressing her face.

"Calm down Charles, it's all right. I just fainted, because I haven't eaten anything for few hours and I was working too hard. It was my fault, I will never let it happen again"

"But you are all right? And the baby? Was the doctor here?"

"Yes, Dr Clarkson just left few minutes ago. Everything is all right. Me and the baby are all ok. Don't worry honey." She wiped his tears, smiling warmly to her beloved man.

"Oh, thank God, I was so scared, if anything has happened to you or the baby..I wouldn't..I couldn't..I love you both so much.." -He could barely speak, as he felt a big lump in his throat...

"I love you too...Everything is ok. Really. I'm fine and the baby is too. It is as strong as his daddy."

She took his hand and placed it on her belly, to reassure him and he gently stroke it, while giving her the most tender kiss...

Anna and Mrs Patmore quietly left the room, feeling like the intruders, in such intimate moment between the married couple. They shut the door behind them.

"This is love. I would have never expect that I will ever see Mr Carson in such state. He is enormously in love with Mrs Hughes and that's really sweet."- Anna's smile showed that she was really touched by that scene.

"Tell me about it. Who would have thought that beneath this stiff exterior, lies such a loving heart. Anyway, I'm happy that it's all ok now. We need to take care about her more. She is stubborn as hell. She even scolded her dear husband today for making such fuss about her."

Is Mrs Hughes all right?"- Mr Molseley asked, entering the hall.

"Luckily she is fine. She just needs to take care of herself more. She is with Mr Carson now."

"You should have seen him when I told him that she fainted, he almost knocked me over running into the house. Who would of thought that he can be such a loving husband? I would have never guessed it."

"Neither would we Mr Molseley, neither would we.."

The all three smiled at each other and went to the servants hall to eat their long forgotten dinner.

That's all for today. Not a lot of Chelsie in the chapter, but I wanted to focus on Elsie's state more and include some downstairs character more, because I love the downstairs characters more than the upstairs one ;-) Anyhow, I hope you won't be disappointed. In the next one their long delayed trip to Scarborough will finally take place. After all it's about time for some rest for Elsie. Sorry for any mistakes and of you like it, please let me know. See you soon!