Replies to reviews:

Secretwrittenword: Juls has heard the stories about the boys, so it isn't all that surprising to her. Oh, yeah, I could watch Sam do anything all day long. And then watch him sleep. Lol Glad you liked the snowball fight and thanks for the review.

Ncsupnatfan: Yeah, the radio is fixed. Now someone just needs to fix the Bunker's one, cuz (reminder) the speaker is busted. Glad you too liked the show all fight, and yeah, they are getting real close. Thanks for reviewing.

Blondie20000: Haha, the Capt'n Hook line, yeah. Happy to see that you see Julia as I intended - as somewhat of a early season Dean. And as such, she will avoid the talks and the 'chick flick' moments and have a different approach to helping lift Sam's spirit. Oh, and Jus doesn't need an excuse to get into bed with Sam. She just has to wait for midnight. Loved the review.

Summer is vacationing on AO3...

Aisha is MIA. Why do think that is? Hm... I wonder what she is up to...


Chapter 23: Catch my fall, if I should stumble

And when their lips finally met, the world around them exploded. Or at least it seemed that way to Dean. Feeling the proverbial fireworks that threaten to blow his mind and have his heart erupt from the delight of feeling her lips on his, her arms around him, the smell of lilac in her hair. Oh, and the taste, uh. She tasted so divine, a mixture of sweet, sweet caramel and chocolate, with a hint of peanut, and for a second Dean thought he was imaging it. How could she be this perfect?

As Sarah's hand came up to rest on his chest, Dean's hand slipped from the back of her neck to caress her neck and he was so lost in that intoxicating feeling of her kiss, wanting more, but not daring to move a single inch, fearing he might break this heavenly moment. He wished he was lost in it forever. It was perfect, just so perfect and just how Dean imagined it.

But was it too good to be true?

Was Dean still locked in a dream?

Strange fear that this was nothing but another tormenting nightmare crept up in Dean's mind, and he wanted to pull her closer, to touch her, to feel her, to know she is real. But still, he dared not move, fearful that if he did try and bring her closer, she would disappear on him, disperse into thin air and he will be left there, all alone, again. No, he couldn't be alone. He couldn't.

Sarah never felt so drawn to anyone before. Not like she felt drawn to Dean. She wanted to help him, she wanted to help the little boy trapped inside his soul, while other forces feed off of him. She wanted to protect him, save him, watch over him. The urge was so strong that it seemed to have reinforced her empathic ability, but only towards him.

So much so, that she sensed his unease even in her sleep. She was having a nightmare of her own, being consumed by fire once more, but these dreams stopped bothering her years ago. She didn't really remember the fire, nor did she remember her parents that died in it, so the nightmare couldn't really hurt her that much. That was until she caught a glimpse of Dean and suddenly she was jolting awake, panting a bit.

Looking confusingly around the room it took her a few seconds to remember where she was and then her attention was brought to the man that occupied the bed next to hers. Dean was tossing in his sleep, shaking his head with the word "No... No..." escaping his lips, barely auditable. Sarah was unsure what to do. It felt like invading his privacy to just be there in the room and listen to his silent pleas, but the moment Dean's his louder gasp followed by a chocked sob, all her self-control vanished and the need to make sure he was okey prevailed over everything else.

Sarah jumped off her bed, crossed the distance to the other one and got there just when Dean bolted upright, the nightmare finally jolting him awake. Trying her damnest to sooth him, she brought him closer to her, holding him firm and steady and started humming something she wasn't familiar with, but somehow knew it would help him calm. She pulled him closer, seeing nothing but a scared little boy being attacked by unknown things, wanting so badly to shield him from the big bad world and the things that haunted him.

But when she looked down upon him, there wasn't a scared little boy there, no. There was a man. A man whose eyes will filled with anticipation and want, a pure emotional desire to be loved and cared for. It broke her heart just a bit to see that much raw emotion in his eyes, emotions he would never express, but rather lock away somewhere deep, and make sure they never resurface.

So when she saw he was actually letting them out, letting her see it, she couldn't help but feel almost honoured by it. It was no secret to her that she already liked him, liked him a lot, but feared to act upon those emotions. Now, faced with what seemed like a perfect moment to kiss, Sarah was uncertain on what to do. Should she risk it? Does he even want her in that way? Would he ever want someone like her? But all these questions and worries went away when she felt his hand reach up to her to pull her closer, ever so gently. Like he was telling her he wanted it, but it was ok if she didn't.

Sarah let herself being pulled into such a sweet soft kiss, that thug at her heart, filling it with joy and making all those butterflies in her stomach start to fly around like crazy. She could feel his hand caressing her neck, tickling it with the softest touch. She could feel his strong heart beat under her fingers and she could taste that sweet cherry pie on his lips. It was the perfect kiss, beyond her wildest dreams.

But then slowly, some other emotions crept up to the surface and she could feel some sort of restlessness emitting from Dean. What was it? What was it he grew worried about? Or was it fear? Oh! What if... What if it was her? What if... What if it had to do with her and her abilities? What if... What if he thought she was actually pushing him into this? Was she pushing him into this? Was she projecting her feelings onto him?

Suddenly, Sarah pulled away and stared back at Dean with horror filled eyes. Was she making him do this? Even if she wasn't, even if she couldn't make him do this, he has seen things, met creatures that can do that, what if he thought she was? That would explain the fearful doubt that slowly filled his mind. Sarah instantly pulled away and stood up, nervously looking away while trying to maintain eye contact, uncertain of what to do, what to say. She took a few steps back and while fumbling with her fingers, she glanced around the room, trying to think of what to do.

To Dean, it seemed like she was looking for the exit.

"I...um... I..." Sarah tried, flashing a fake semi-smile. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I... You...I... I should... I'm gonna go take... Yeah..." And with that, she fled to the bathroom, leaving Dean to sadly gaze after her. Ok, on the plus side, he know knew it was real. He bad thing is that she freaked, and Dean wasn't sure why. There could have been loads of possibilities, she might have seen something with her powers, she might have sensed something. She might have felt his fear and mistaken it for something else. She... She might not want this at all. Maybe he pushed this, and she didn't want it.

He could hear the shower running and he could almost imagine her under the shower, leaning her head on the cool tiles, trying to compose herself. Oh, what was he thinking? After everything she has been through these last few days, learning about the supernatural, being attacked by vampires and held captive and then having her house burn down, he had to add this. She was already overwhelmed, just good at hiding it and he had to go and kiss her and confuse her, and... Idiot. Dean has never felt as big of an idiot as he was now.

So he staggered out of the bed, limped to the bathroom door and leaned into it, placing a hand on the door. Just as he did, he could hear the shower stop and he took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Sarah? Sarah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I was just... I... I don't know what I was doing, I just... It felt so safe. You feel so safe. And I... Look, I'm sorry, please. Could... Could you just forget it happened?" By the time he was done with his little speech, he had his eyes shut tightly, a pained look on his face. He didn't want to forget, he wanted... But at the end of the day, it wasn't about what he wanted. He owed her for helping him and for losing everything in the process, he owed her and if it would make this easier, he would act like it never happened.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a thought reminded him about his brother too, and he felt a pang of guilt for allowing himself to do anything but try and find him.

"S... Sarah?" Dean called out, suddenly realizing how quiet it was on the other side of the door. Oh, God, she didn't climb put the window and ran away, did she? "Sarah?"

"I'm still here." came her voice on the other side and Dean huffed a breath of pure relief, one she could feel coming from him too. He expected her to open the door and face him, but when she didn't, he understood why it was.

"Ok, how about I go and get us something to eat, and then we could hit the road?" He asked hoping that even though she didn't ran through the window, she would still confirm she would stay with him. But even if she did say Yes, she could still be gone by the time he gets back. Damn it, why did he have to be so stupid?

"Um, no, don't do that... – came a response from the other side – You... You're still hurt and I... I could go get the food..." The was something in her voice that felt off. She didn't sound to convinced of what she was saying. She didn't thing he would lock her in the room, did she?

"How... how about we check out and then go to a diner?" Dean offered, trying to find a compromise, fearing she too might take off and leave him, like all others did.

"That... That would be great..." She replied, still with the odd voice.

"Um... Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I... um... Can I borrow a shirt? I... I accidentally got this one wet and I didn't find a place to buy a new one when I was looking this morning, and..."

Relief flooded Dean once more. The shirt. That was why she was being awkward with her replies. He didn't even let her finish before he spoke "Yeah, no. Sure you can. Gimme a sec." He limped to the table and took his duffle, roaming through it and cussing at himself for not keeping his clean clothes separate from the dirty ones. Damn it, he was wearing his last clean shirt. Damn it! Just when he was about to throw the whole bag to the other side of the room, like it was its fault he couldn't to one thing for Sarah, just one stupid thing, a black cloth caught his eye and he reached in and pulled out a shirt.

It was a old, but a preserved one, a shirt that was too small for him when he bought it, but liked it so much he had to have it. It was his AC/DC shirt with a big bell on it that has the thunder trademark sign and a few skeleton demons climbing it and pulling its chain, making the bell sway. Under the picture there was a big sign "Hell's bells" and a verse "I got my bell, gonna take you to Hell." Needless to say, he bought the thing way back, before he actually went to hell. It was too small for him, but it could fit her just fine.

"Um, Sarah... This... This is all I got, I hope it's ok..." Dean said as he came back to the bathroom door. Sarah opened the door just a crack and stuck her hand out, waiting for him to pass it along. Once he did, she pulled her hand back in and shut the door. He could hear her huff a smile and after a few moments, she opened the door, looking as shy as ever.

The shirt was more than perfect, tightening slightly around her chest, emphasizing them with the AC/DC logo draped right over them, while the lower part hung loosely. Her hair was wet and more importantly it wasn't in that adorable ponytail, but rather loose and reached just below her shoulder.

Dean caught himself starring.

Sarah's face flashed with a slight frown, barely noticeable before she huffed a shy smile, looking away. She glanced back around the room and spotted the hair drier that, for whatever strange reason, wasn't in the bathroom where it should be, but at her nightstand. She took a step seemingly towards Dean, but she didn't notice he was frozen in spot, so she brushed past him, took the hairdryer and went back to the bathroom. "Just give me a few minutes to dry my hair and we'll go." She said with a kind smile and he nodded, his lips curling into a goofy smile of his own.

The car ride to the town was quiet, Dean still riding in the back. He really hoped they would get past this awkward silence by the time they are on the road to the bunker, otherwise this journey is going to last even longer and be a lot more excruciating for Dean. Especially since he had an annoying itch right in the middle of the cast. He wished he could just rip the thing off.

As Sarah once more helped Dean out of the car, and he almost quivered once he felt her touch, she was able to pull his mind away from these thoughts by saying "You know, your leg should have healed completely by now, considering the rate it was healing back in the hospital. I think we could take it off when we reach the bunker."

"Why not just take a knife and take it off right now?" Dean asked.

"Because if it didn't heal, I would rather have you off the road and in a bed... Resting." She added that last word quickly, suddenly too aware of the indications she was giving out. Dean didn't notice, and even if he did, he never caught her brief blush. Once she handed his the crutches, they walked to the diner, took the table nearest to the door and sat down.

The waitress took her time, which annoyed Dean, as the awkward silence returned. Sarah was really focused on the menu, or so Dean gathered from the glances he kept throwing at her. And when the waitress finally came and took their order, it took her forever to come back with the burgers and fries even though the diner was half empty. They ate their meal in that uncomfortable silence, both wishing they knew what to say to the other, both starting to speak a few times, only to stop themselves, unsure if there was even a point. Dean again cussed inwardly at himself for reaching and kissing her, making everything that more difficult.

They just finished their meal and both welcomed the fact that something was happening once again, even if it was just something trivial as paying for their meal and getting up to leave. That was when a cheery voice called out to Dean and both of them turned around. Sarah watched as a beautiful African-American woman waltzed over, her thick small curls bouncing on her shoulders as she walked, a wide smile placated on her face and her eyes fixed on Dean like he was prey. Suddenly, Sarah felt very protective of Dean. Or was it a bit of jealousy too?

"Cassie?" Dean asked with a smile and a hint of confusion. His old fling from almost two decades ago, still as beautiful as ever, and just as hot. She came over to him and gave him a firm hug, which he returned and after he pulled back, he gave her a once-over.

Sarah stood aside, half listening to the pleasantries that the two exchanged, half focusing on trying to read the woman before her and figure out if she was a threat in any way. Supernatural or any other.

"This is Sarah, Sarah, this is my old friend Cassie." Dean's words brought her back to the real world and she smiled politely at the woman, reaching to shake her hand. A touch, yes. It was all she needed to judge a person, to get a read on their soul and know exactly how bad they were. Alas, as much as she thought Cassie was someone to be wary off, the peek at her soul told Sarah that she was one of those rare pure souls out there, selfless and kind. So what was it that was bothering Sarah regarding her?

"So, you still doing your thing?" Cassie asked Dean after she greeted Sarah.

"Someone's gotta do it." Dean replied.

So, Cassie was aware of the life Dean had, of the supernatural. It was clear to Sarah there was something between them, or had been in the past, but now, they just seemed to be glad that the other one is alive and well. Sarah didn't eavesdrop anymore, deciding it was best to settle her own beating heart and just let them have a moment, so she pulled away, closer to the door and waited for Dean to finish. She didn't wait long, as Dean stopped talking mid sentence to look where she was and when he saw her backing away, he said his goodbyes.

One thing Sarah did hear Cassie say. "You two look good together." But she didn't hear Dean try and correct her. In fact, she didn't hear Dean say anything at all. And that made Sarah hopeful that maybe, just maybe... She wasn't the only one who felt drawn to him, who felt some connection. Maybe he felt it too.

Shooing away the awkward silence that threatened to settle again, a few minutes into the car ride, Sarah spoke.

"She seems nice."

Dean huffed a smile, memories of his time with Cassie flashing in his mind, but only their last encounter lingered in his mind along with the case of a ghost truck in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. "Yeah, she is."

Sarah wasn't really sure what to say, but she needed to know. So she took a deep breath, questions piling in her mind. "She means something to you." She finally spat out, cringing at her own choice of words. She caught Dean's look of surprise in the rear-view mirror, but it only lasted for half a second as Dean seemed to remember Sarah was a psychic after all. He huffed a smile and looked outside the window, taking another moment to reminisce before answering.

"She did. But she didn't want this lifestyle and I couldn't drop it..." Dean trailed off, thinking for a moment how foolish he has been back then. Sammy has gotten out, he was in Stanford and Cassie was Dean's ticket out of the life. If only he stayed with her... But the ghost monster truck would have come for her mother anyway and he would be sucked into the life again. It was inevitable.

Dean glanced back at Sarah, looking at her through the mirror, but her eyes were sad and focused on the road. Dean couldn't help but wonder if he and Sarah would ever end up together would she support his decision to keep hunting? Not that he could imagine her tagging along and getting herself in danger, but... Would she allow him to be himself, or would she try to change him?

Sensing the change in the 'atmosphere', Sarah thought it was best to drop the subject of a former lover, but as the silence became too deafening, she opted to ask Dean about someone else, making him flinch from his thoughts.

"Tell me about him. Tell me about Sam."

She could see Dean's eyes sparkle at the mention of his brother's name, and they clearly bore so much love, care and affection that was a bit too much for a simple brotherly bond.

"Sam is... Well, Sam. Dorky little brother who is into books and healthy diet and... and likes to get into trouble a lot. Seriously, like every turn , he..." Dean trailed off, he sounded so cheerful whilst speaking of Sam when the painful reminder came that Sam wasn't there and Dean didn't know where he was. Dean stopped talking for a second, biting down on his lower lip, a pained expression flashing before his eyes before he took a deep breath, raising his head high like he was trying to stop the tears from flooding. No, Dean Winchester doesn't cry.

"He..." Dean started to talk in hopes that the worry would tone down, but then he remembered he never really told Sarah about Sam and the fire that changed their lives. He wasn't sure if it was really up to him to speak of it, seeing as Sam was a sort of a psychic too for a short while. It was better if Sam was there when he told her, so that he could answer any questions she might have. At the same time, Dean didn't want to have to tell her she might have demon blood in her system. Not when he himself wasn't a 100 percent on that.

"We were very young when our mom died and dad was sorta obsessed to avenge her. Mostly it was just me and Sammy. And sure, there were some tough times, but he... Um... He always had that hope with him, that little spark that things are gonna somehow, you know. And, and even though I was the one that comforted him whenever he felt blue or whenever he had a nightmare, he was actually... He was actually what I needed to keep fighting, you know..."

Sarah smiled at that description. Dean was his brother's keeper, she could see it being rooted deep inside of him. He must have taken care of little Sammy most of his life, giving everything up just so that Sam might get a chance... But... If Dean looked after Sammy, who looked after Dean?

Dean talked some more about Sam,.mentioning a few of their funny adventures, but not failing to bring up his bad luck with the ladies. Still, he tried to focus on their highlights, clinging on to some more positive memories, and drowning the fear that this time, with God really gone, there wasn't a way for Dean to save him. He wasn't the hero of this story anymore.

So far, Sarah has been that more then he was. And that was a good thing, it really was. Because maybe she would be able Sam and succeed where Dean would most certainly fail. So Dean kept talking about Sam, bringing his personality closer to him, showing her just what his little brother meant to him. He was his reason to keep going, Sarah could see it, clear as day.

Sam was the one that held at bay all those things that were attacking Dean's soul. And with him gone, Dean was barely holding on. In fact, and Sarah didn't know this part, but if it wasn't for her, he would have given up on himself long ago.

With all these thoughts in her mind, and Dean's emotions in her heart, Sarah pushed the pedal just a bit harder, going way above the speeding limit, trying to reach that bunker and whatever it was she would find there.