Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts. I haven't had a chance to get back to all, but as the world goes kinda crazy, my fingers like to write to relieve the stress. I promise I'll get back to you all shortly. :)
Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.
We're ALMOST done here.
Seven Nights – Chapter 17
On What Would've Been Day Seven of the Cruise…
It's a typical sunny day at sea. The heavens are a gauzy blend of ivory and azure with the golden sun sitting like a crown and its shimmering rays the sparkling jewels that trim it. The band plays poolside, a steel drum calypso rhythm that's soft and soothing. It briefly reminds me of another time…of another cruise…of a first dance…of another song that I never did hear.
As I lay on the deck chair sunning myself and shut my eyes, I can almost hear the waters lapping against the ship's hull. It melds with the music and with the happy conversations and drunk laughter occurring around me. As I begin to drift, it all becomes a background chorus.
"Hi, Bella."
When my eyes pop open, the glare of the sun eclipses the figure standing before me, shadowing him in a blinding glow. Nonetheless, even if it wasn't for the tall, broad-shouldered, lean-muscled, and trim silhouette, I'd recognize that voice anywhere. I hear it in my dreams pretty often. And the way my heart hammers…it hasn't hammered that way since.
Still, it's hard to believe; it's too much of a coincidence that he'd be here. Besides, I've always been of a cynic nature, a doubter, a questioner. It's why…why I sabotaged us in the first place: It was just too good to be true that I'd meet someone and we'd just…click – as my mom once phrased it.
And so is this.
So, even as I lift myself on one elbow and remove my shades…his shades – the ones I 'borrowed' from him once and never returned, I'm already half-convinced it's not him, that it's someone else who sounds like him and whose profile resembles his profile.
Except that when the shades come off…and he steps out of the sun's shadow…and my eyes instantly meet his…well, no one could ever have those same sea-green eyes, eyes like the sea glass we once found together.
"Edward," I breathe.
He grins, a grin that starts out softly then grows in intensity as if he's relieved I remember him. As if I could've ever forgotten him.
"How are you? How have you been? It's been…" His voice is steady, yet I think I detect an undertone of anxiousness, and when he chuckles self-consciously and rakes a hand through his natural, copper highlights, I know his heart is hammering as well. He gestures toward the foot of my deck chair. "May I?"
I nod eagerly and quickly sit up, making room for him to sit. "Yes, of course."
He sits, and for a long moment, we simply hold one another's gaze. In my periphery, I vaguely note that he looks as great as he did the last time we saw one another.
"How've you been, Bella?" he asks again. "You look great."
"I've been…okay, and you look amazing too. How have you been? I see your face all over the place- I mean," I chuckle, "your music."
His responding chuckle is sheepish, and he drops his gaze to the meager space between us, his dark eyelashes kissed by the sun's rays.
"I've been okay as well. Busy for the past three years."
"Yeah, me too," I say quietly, though I don't expand.
He lifts his eyes back to me, and my breath hitches because the green in them swirls with all the longing I remember openly displayed…with the passion I've missed in my life.
"Three years," I murmur. "Isn't that how long Jasper once said it took for him and Alice to get back together?"
Edward swallows thickly and nods.
"Edward, I'm Jasper in this. I made a mistake," I whisper urgently, unwilling to waste my second chance. All the while, on the tight deck chair space between us, my hand slowly crawls toward his, toward the hand with which he grips the chair. "I'm sorry for everything I said that day. I didn't mean any of it."
"Bella-"
"It was my fear for my mom, and it was so unfair to you, and I've wanted to reach out to you and thank you for helping to get me off that ship."
"Bella, I-"
My hand hovers and then covers his. I squeeze it hard. "And even worse than all that, I left you thinking it had just been sex, but it was more. It was everything, Edward. And I've missed you so much."
"Bella, please-"
I flip his hand over and thread my fingers through his. "Just tell me you forgive me. Tell me you'll be my Alice and forgive me three years later for being so stupid. Tell me that like Alice and Jasper, we can give things another go between us."
"Bella…" He offers me a tender smile, squeezing my fingers in return, and my heart leaps with hope. "Of course, I forgive you. Of course, I know you didn't mean any of that. I know you were just scared for your mom."
I expel a long breath of relief, and my hold on his hand tightens. But the relief only lasts for a few moments. In my periphery, I see someone approaching, heading toward us with purpose, and her silhouette is much softer and curvier than was Edward's.
Edward pulls his hand out of mine. "But…I'm engaged, Bella."
Bile rises to my throat. In my periphery, the curvy figure moves closer.
"Break up with her, Edward. End the engagement. It's what Alice did, remember? As soon as she and Jasper bumped into one another three years later, she called Thurgood and-"
"Bella, I'm not Alice, and you're not Jasper."
My heart drops to my feet, and all air leaves my lungs.
"Please, Edward," I plead shakily.
He shakes his head. "I can't, Bella. You couldn't believe in us then. I can't believe in us now."
The silent torrent of tears that ensue blurs his image, and I swipe them away furiously because if this is the last time I'll see him, I don't want any obstructions.
"Can I at least hear my song?"
His brow furrows. "What?"
"The song you made for me. I never got to hear it."
Understanding flickers behind his green eyes. "Oh," he nods then shakes his head. "I'm afraid that song doesn't exist anymore. I changed it around a bit and…well…"
And as the woman in the background reaches us, she rests a hand on Edward's shoulder. The diamond on her finger catches the sunlight and explodes in a prism of color, thankfully blinding me once again.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I cry quietly. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"
"Bella?"
"I'm sorry."
"Bella, honey, what is it?"
"I'm sorry."
"Bella, wake up!"
I wake with a start and a gasp. My eyes instantly land on my mom, and then I look around in confusion, wondering how she got on the cruise ship, and why this cabin is set up so strangely.
And wondering where he is.
In the next moment, it all comes rushing back.
I rushed off of the cruise ship…and away from him two days and one night ago. Today would've been Day Seven of the cruise, the last day…our last day…
Or would it have been our last day?
"Bella?" When I sweep my eyes back to my mom, lines of concern crease her brow, and my guilt grows exponentially.
"I'm so sorry, Mom," I say. Pulling the recliner chair closer to the hospital bed, I smile and gently take her hand, the one without the IV. "I had a nightmare."
"Oh, baby." She offers me a wistful smile. "I could tell." She picks up our joined hands and wipes off a tear from my cheek. "Looks like it was a bad one. I hope you weren't still worrying about me."
"No, Mom." Drawing in a deep breath, I shake my head and offer her a smile in return. "Doctor Gerandy assured us it was a bad reaction to the chemo, and he's going to adjust your dosage, and you'll come home, and…we'll take it from there."
"Good girl," she says, cupping my cheek. "We'll take it from there, one day at a time just as we've been doing."
We both draw in a deep breath and release it through narrowed lips, the way she's taught me to calm myself since I was a kid.
"Better?"
"Yes," I say.
"Good," she smiled. "Now, tell me about this nightmare."
I swallow hard and look away from her. For a while, we're both quiet.
"How about you tell me how your cruise went then; at least until I interrupted it."
"Mom," I smirk, and she chuckles quietly. "It was good. It was very good."
She quirks an eyebrow. "Did you clear your head?"
"More or less."
"Distract yourself?"
I pause. "Yes."
My mom holds my gaze. "Did Quil have a good time?"
"Quil and I broke up Mom, on the first full day of the cruise. He got drunk and groped me in public."
"What a fucking dick." Mom shakes her head and scowls. "I hope you did something about it."
"I shoved him and called him a 'Dick,'" I smile.
"Mm," she says. "He deserved to have his balls crushed, but at least he's out of the picture. Bella, it was so hard to keep my opinion of Quil to myself."
I chuckle softly. "I don't know that you did a very good job of it, but…thanks for allowing me to really see it on my own."
"Like I said, it wasn't easy," she grins.
"I'm done with Leah and Jake as well."
"Oh my God, this just gets better and better! Oof!" She pretends to wipe off her brow, and I laugh despite myself. "Now. Back to this nightmare…"
I draw in a deep breath and exhale it in a long gust.
"It wasn't about them, was it?" It's more statement than a question. "Or about me," she adds slowly. "So…"
"Mom," I murmur, "I…I met a wonderful guy, and we hit it off instantly, just like you did with Dad. And we had a great time together. We hung out by the pool with his friends, who were great, for the most part. We went to the beach and snorkeled together, and danced at the shipboard clubs together. We explored together, played trivia and laughed when we lost. We played all sorts of cruise games. We talked for hours and hours…and we had so much sex," I blurt. "Great sex. The best kind of sex."
My mom shuts her eyes and presses her head against her pillow, chuckling heartily.
"You should've seen him, Mom. I mean, I know you're not supposed to objectify a person, and he was much more than a pretty face on a great body, but damn." I shake my head.
All the while, my mom's chuckles grow louder. "Oh, my God, this is too good. Sounds like a great time, indeed."
"And don't worry; I was careful."
"Good." She lifts her head and hits the lever on the bed which slowly brings her up into a more upright position.
I hover nervously. "Do you need help. Can I-"
"I've got it, honey," she says breezily. "There we go. But I've got to sit up for the rest of this."
"Mom," I sigh, taking in her playful spirits, "I'm so relieved. I was so scared…"
"I know you were, my love, but I promise you, I do feel much better. Now, I just wish I wouldn't have interrupted what sounds like a hell of a cruise!" She fans herself.
"Stop," I laugh.
"But I did promise you we'd call if anything came up, and as much as I can, Bella, I will always keep my promises to you."
"Thank you, Mom," I say fiercely, "and anyway, the cruise started out well, but it didn't end that way."
She holds me locked in her eyes, and I draw in a deep breath as the entire story pours out in bits and pieces, amid strangled whispers and choked back sobs. I fill in the details of our first night – when Edward wouldn't sleep with me because I had a boyfriend…and of our last night – when even after everything I did and said, he pulled strings to get me off the ship as soon as possible. By the time I'm done, I'm crying again and sitting carefully on the bed beside my mom while she comfortingly runs her fingers through my hair.
"I panicked, Mom. I thought it was my fault for not being here, for being off on a cruise-"
"It wasn't your fault, honey."
"I know that, Mom," I reassure her. "Now that I can think more clearly, I know that. But…but I lashed out at him and blamed him instead. And then as if that wasn't enough," I snort, "I told him everything between us had just been sex and a distraction. You should've seen his face as I hurled all that poison at him." I flinch as I recall it.
"It was more than that, though, wasn't it?" Mom asks softly.
"It was so much more.
For a long while, my mom and I are silent. Eventually, she draws in a deep breath and sighs.
"Bella, honey, this is exactly what I feared would happen when I got sick and you and your dad started taking care of me."
"You feared I'd meet the perfect guy on a cruise, and I'd fuck it up royally in a matter of seven nights? Excuse me, not even seven nights. Tonight would've been seven nights."
"No," she snorts. "Not that exactly. I was worried that in your laser focus to help manage my quality of life, you'd lose sight of your own. Now, in your dad's case, having his life revolve around mine is fine. It's as it should be," she chuckles.
"Where is he anyway?" I ask. "He was just here."
"He's been here for over forty-eight hours straight. I told him to at least go get a sandwich and a cup of coffee at the cafeteria, and you should go get something to eat soon too. But Bella, my point is, my love-"
"There's a point?" I tease her.
"There's always a point. The point is you're a twenty-three-year-old young woman, and you have your own life to lead. That's why I insisted you go away, because you'd made your life all about me, and honey, that's not how it should be. This young man, what was his name?"
"Edward."
"You told me that. His full name."
"Edward Masen."
"Edward Masen? Now, Bella, how did you not know who he was, honey? Even I've heard of Edward Masen – he's supposedly one of the hottest young producers right now, whose music is considered to be completely different from everything else that's out there."
I roll my eyes. "Mom, you know I just listen to whatever's on your basic radio stations. Anyway, you were getting to your point," I snap playfully.
She purses her lips. "Either way, no matter how things work out, Bella, you're the one who has to live with your choices, sweetheart, not me."
"I know," I agree quietly. "I know now."
She offers me a sympathetic smile. "So, what are you going to do now?"
"Now?" I fill my lungs and try to breathe through the constriction of knowing how far apart Edward and I are. "He's on a cruise, all the way at the other end of the country. And he lives all the way at the other end of the country."
"And?"
"And I'm here, Mom."
"What did we just agree, my love? That this is your life to lead for you, not for me."
"Mom-"
"Besides, you're getting way ahead of yourself. What are you going to do about the immediate issue between you and him, about the way you left things between one another?"
I look into my mom's deep blue eyes, always full of so much wisdom.
"I've got to apologize to him," I nod decisively. "That's the first thing I have to do. And maybe next week or so, if you're feeling better, I can take a flight to Miami?"
"Honestly, honey, I wouldn't even leave it for that long. I'd at least text him. You can't text from here, but as soon as you're in the cafeteria, I'd text him."
"Text him?" I chuckle. "Isn't that somewhat impersonal?"
"It's better than nothing, and it's a start, and as I always say-"
"We'll take it from there," I finish for her.
"Exactly."
I swallow thickly. "And what do I tell him?"
"Well, what about beginning with the complete truth?"
"What's the complete truth?"
"That's something only you know, Bella."
"Mom…Mom, what would I do without you to talk to?"
With the utmost care yet unable to hold back, I lean in and gently wrap my arms around my mom.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt-"
"Don't you dare apologize for hugging me," Mom hisses, pulling me in tightly. "These are the moments I live for."
We remain that way for a while, and I revel in the warmth and comfort of my mom's embrace until I hear a voice behind me.
"Ah, there are my two favorite women in the whole wide world."
I pull back as I watch the radiant smile that lights up my mom's face.
"And there's my favorite man in the whole wide world."
Dad approaches and he brushes his lips first against my mom's forehead then mine, taking the seat I vacated.
"Are you feeling better, Charlie, now that you got some food and coffee in you?"
"I actually am," my dad acknowledges. "What would I do without you to tell me what's good for me and what's not?" he teases.
"Funny, I just said something similar," I say.
"Well, I know something else that would be good for me-" my dad begins.
"I'm sorry, but I can't manage that just now, Charlie," Mom deadpans.
I pretend to dry heave while my dad laughs and laughs.
"That's not what I meant; I meant some shut-eye, but now that you mention it Renee baby, maybe if we can get Bella here to leave the room for a bit…"
"Oh my God, do you two ever stop?"
Charlie snickers. "Seriously, Bella, you do need to get down to the cafeteria."
"I'll go in a bit," I say. "I'm not too hungry yet. I ate a lot over the past few days."
"That's not all you did a lot of," Mom says.
"Mom," I hiss.
"Mm," Charlie grumbles, quirking a brow. "So, what were you two discussing up here while I was gone?"
"Girl talk," my mom replies vaguely, lifting her chin. "Nothing you need to worry about, darling."
"Nothing I need to worry about, huh? Wouldn't be about that little bastard, Quil, would it, because that is something I need to worry about."
"Charlie, Bella tells me she took care of him, honey. You don't need to worry about him."
"Hmph," my dad says, and for a moment, I'm reminded of Jasper. "Maybe not since…so, not about Quil. What were you discussing then?"
"What's wrong, Dad? Are you jealous because I won't share my cruise adventure with you?" I tease.
"Trust me, Charlie," Mom grins. "You'd rather skip this particular adventure of Bella's; at least, parts of it."
"Would I now?" my dad smirks. He nods slowly, scraping his palm hard against his chin. His rich brown eyes, which I've been told all my life I inherited, flash curiously between my mom and me.
"Would this story, by any chance," he throws out there, "involve a young man about, oh, six feet two or so, with a mess of copper hair that looks like it's been pulled by its roots for the past forty-eight hours or so, and anxious green eyes that look like the world is about to implode for him if he doesn't speak with you soon?"
My mouth falls open. At the same time, my heart begins a furious hammering, hope and remorse and disbelief and so many emotions swirling inside me that I start shaking from the force of them all.
And all the while, Charlie grins impishly.
"Dad, what…how…?"
"I keep telling you, Bella, you need to get down to the cafeteria."
I brush my lips hastily against first my mom's cheek and then my dad's.
"Remember, Bella, the complete truth," Mom says in a rush as I run out.
"What complete truth?" Dad asks.
"Hush, Charlie!"
Behind me, I hear their combined musical laughter follow me.
A/N: Thoughts?
Almost done. :)
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