Harry Potter was early for Defense. It was becoming something of a habit, one more born out of a satisfyingly healthy sense of paranoia, than out of any passion for the class.
It had been before Harry had even started Hogwarts, that someone had mentioned that Snape wanted the Dark Arts. Of course, at the time, Harry had completely misunderstood. He'd continued to do so for years, truth be told.
Snape liked teaching Defense, Harry was pretty sure, because every class was different.
Sure, Snape could do the normal Defense Curriculum, teaching about spells and shields. That was charms, though, far more than Defense. Defense was about creativity.
"Today, class, you are going to demonstrate the rarest, least practiced spell you know fluently." Snape said, "And then describe the combat applications of it."
Harry paused at this. He... didn't know many obscure spells. Any, really? Do Hermione's bluebell flames count? Harry supposed Hermione wouldn't mind if he used them...
"Miss Granger, perhaps you'd like to start?" Snape prompted, a nasty grin on his face.
"No, sir. I'm far too busy wracking my brain for which spell to demonstrate." Hermione responded in a fit of distraction, then looked up at Snape, covering her mouth in shock and dismay.
"That will be five points off for cheek. But you shall have your ten minutes." Snape countered, his tone far milder than his points-taking.
"Weasley," Snape said, and his tone was steel.
"Uh? Erm." Ron shifted from foot to foot, then brightened. "Diffusio Flammea," he incanted, and a ripple of gold shot out of his wand.
"Did you expect that to do anything?" Snape sneered. A few (unwise) Slytherins laughed at the fizzle.
"Of course not, sir." Ron responded, "Neither did you, of course."
"Would someone with a vocabulary care to explain what that spell does?" Snape said, wheeling to look at the crowd.*
Su Li stood up tall, and raised her hand.
"Yes?" Snape prompted.
"It diffuses flame, spreading it out so that it heats more evenly. You undoubtedly use it whenever you're working on delicate brews." Su responded crisply.
Snape turned to Ron, and asked, "and where did you learn such a spell?"
"Mum uses it a lot," Ron shrugged, "It looked useful, and if you watch a spell twenty times, you pick it up."
Snape raised an eyebrow, "When was the last time you cast this spell?"
Ron did not react, "I never have before."
Snape rolled his eyes, muttering mirthlessly, "One cannot fault you for lack of courage. However, as I am not teaching Offense, but rather defense, you are out of line. 10 points. Explain what Defensive Application you would use this spell for."
Snape had to nearly peel the Slytherins out of their shells for this one - Draco Malfoy demonstrated a coagulating spell that was equally as useful for staunching a bleeding wound - and disabling your enemies through their blood won't flow.
After that, Harry didn't even want to hear what Hermione would come up with.
Oddly enough, Hermione demonstrated a small spell that would create sugarfloss. When asked what she would use it for, Hermione said, levelly, "I wouldn't. Not every spell I know is useful in combat, sir."
As there was little Snape could say to that, he settled for taking off points.
Pansy Parkinson demonstrated a spell for unraveling a dress. She cast it on Daphne Greengrass, and it was lucky that Snape disrupted Pansy before it got unmentionable. There might have been bloodshed.
"Miss Parkinson, you lied, when you said that was your rarest spell." Snape said, "Ten points."
Because Slytherins gain points, and Gryffindors lose points, in Snape's class. He doesn't even need to specify.
Neville had a spell that was truly worth knowing, "Accelero Magna."
"And what does that do?" Snape asked, eyes glinting. I think he doesn't know that spell.
"It increases the growth of vegetation." Neville said calmly. "Quite useful if you think the enemy will attack come daybreak. Or are in a camp in the Forbidden Forest."
"Dependent on the local flora?" Snape asked.
"Of course," Neville responded, "but plants like me." There was something to be said for Neville's doughty confidence, worn as-ever unboastfully.
Snape forbore to insult Neville.
Harry did wind up using the bluebell flames, not without a brief pang of guilt.
Un-fortunately, that guilt was stoked by Snape's next words. "Potter, are you even attempting to try?"
"And why should I try? When you're giving points for lying?" Harry responded.
*Snape's being insulting, but he's also being efficient. His classroom time is valuable.
[a/n: Reviews?]
