After resting for a few minutes Negan got up to clean himself off. He put on a pair of jeans and she just put her panties and bra back on before they settled back onto the couch. He sat with his arm around her, holding her close for a minute before he spoke.

"How long were you alone before I took you in?" She looked up at his face for a moment not sure why that mattered. But his face was hard and serious, so she just answered.

She looked down and absentmindedly toyed with the waistband of his jeans, "Not quite two weeks, I think." She bit her lip afraid of what all he was going to ask her. Afraid of what she'd tell him. Afraid that if he even knew a fraction of what her life was, of what she'd done, then he wouldn't want to be around her anymore. But she just swallowed hard and tried to remain calm.

He almost asked how she survived by herself, but thank god, stopped himself. He knew almost certainly she would get offended by that question and besides, he already knew the answer to that. She was one tough mother fucker. There was no doubt in his mind that she would fight tooth and nail to survive, she definitely had the strength to make it after all the bullshit she'd gone through.

So instead he asked something simpler, "Where are you from?" He just wanted to know more about her. He wanted her to get more comfortable just talking with him.

She sighed deeply as she rested her hand on his thigh, "I was born in Kansas, but we didn't stay there very long." She wiped a hand down her face and searched for the best way to explain things, "We... um... we moved around a lot when I was young and a few years back we settled in Virginia." She looked up at him with a small smile, "And I'm sure as fuck glad we did."

He smirked at her curse, "Yeah? Why's that?" He wouldn't have thought after what she went through here that she would've been happy to have ended up there before all of it.

"Because if I hadn't been here, then I probably wouldn't have met you." She said placing a kiss on his cheek before standing up and walking over to his office chair and sitting down with one of her legs draped over the arm, "Where are you from?"

"Washington." He said sitting forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands trying to diminish the blush on his face, "I worked as a gym teacher at the local high school." He continued without being prompted. He had to talk to her for her to be willing to talk to him, "After the world turned I left town and wandered briefly before I met Simon and some other men, not all of them are still alive at this point, and I found this place and built it from the ground up." He chuckled, "When I first got here this place was a pile of shit on concrete, and now," He said triumphantly with spread arms, "Now this place is truly awesome."

She cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms, "You're pretty cocky, aren't you?"

He smiled wide, "That is something I'm pretty known for, darling." He bit his lip, "I worked my ass off getting this place as it is for all the people that live here."

"Oh, no doubt." She said standing and circling his desk before picking up his jacket and slipping it onto her ams, "I used to have one of these you know." She said looking herself over. It was way too big on her lithe form. It went right past her ass and it was incredibly wide and baggy. But hot fucking damn did she look amazing.

He bit the side of his hand to try and control himself as he watched her look at herself. A tingle ran from his spine all the way down to his toes as he looked at her wearing not much more than his jacket. He grabbed the front of his pants and readjusted the crotch trying to make it more comfortable.

"Yeah?" He asked through his hands after swallowing hard, "But I doubt it looked anywhere near as fucking amazing on you as mine does."

She smiled at him as she walked over and sat in his lap, facing him. She looked down when she felt his hardness underneath her. She bit her lip and looked up at him through her lashes, "Am I getting you worked up again?"

He put his hands on her ass, "You looking at me like that makes me just as fucking horny as you wearing my clothes does."

"Yeah?" She said kissing him, "Do you know what gets me going?" He raised an eyebrow and licked his lips, she leaned in and whispered in his ear, "The feeling of your hard cock pressed against me. Having my hand wrapped around you." She placed her hand on the front of his pants and stroked him through the denim, "And more than anything I love feeling the heat against my tongue and listening to your groans as I bring you closer to the edge."

"Fuck." He breathed unable to say anything else as he felt himself getting painfully hard at her words and touches.

"Do you wanna turn me on even more, Negan?" She asked unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down before reaching her hand in and grabbing him.

A low growl rang from the bottom of his throat, "Whatever it takes to get you off, Layla." She snorted at his response and dropped to her knees in front of him.

She tugged his jeans down and off of him before taking him back into her hand. She stroked him slowly and ran her thumb over his head. She lowered her head down and took his head into her mouth, sucking gently. He let out a low moan as he put his hands behind his head and watched her. She struggled to keep her mouth open wide enough to accommodate his size, but she did her best and took about two-thirds of him into her mouth before tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

She took in slow breaths through her nose as she ran her tongue along the pulsing vein on the underside of his cock. He let out a groan as she pulled her head away and he saw his precum connecting her mouth to his dick. She trailed her tongue all the way from his balls to his head, making sure to flick her tongue from under the tip.

"Holy fuck." He groaned out as his hips bucked. She swirled her tongue around his head several times before taking him back into her mouth. She took him about as far as last time before she gagged. She looked up at him fearfully as she quickly removed her head.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, please." She pleaded as tears came to her eyes. She wasn't allowed to gag or struggle when she went down on someone. She wasn't allowed.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked in confusion. He had no idea what could have bothered her with what was happening. Cause fuck, it felt even better then last time. He thought she was doing a great job and wasn't prepared for her to stop. He tried to ignore the slight pain that resided in his dick at the loss of contact because of how close he was as he looked at the scared girl in front of him.

"You… you're just longer and thicker then … then they were and… and I'm sorry I couldn't do it, Negan. I'm sorry." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

His jaw set as he realized what was happening. She was having a flashback or something of her time with those sorry mother fuckers. They must have gotten mad, or damn him for even thinking this, violent with her for not being able to take all of them easily. For gagging when it became slightly too much to handle. The thought disgusted him. So many things about that disgusted him.

The fact that he couldn't be her first, that other men had been with her. He wasn't sure if she was a virgin before them, but the sentiment was the same either way. The fact that she was handled with violence, especially to the extent that he suspected. She deserved so much better then that, she deserved the world and then some. The fact that he knew he couldn't make the pain go away was the worst thing of all to him. All he wanted to do was be able to make the hurt go away. But he knew he couldn't.

He got down on the floor beside her and hugged her to him tightly. She flinched hard when he first touched her, but soon relaxed against him, "It's alright, sweetheart. You don't have to be scared. Never again. I won't ever let anybody lay a finger on you, okay? And I sure as hell would never lay a finger on you. Do you understand me, baby?" He pulled away to look into her eyes, "Do you?" She just sniffled, "You're safe here. You're safe with me." He wiped her tears away with his thumb.

She got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck as she let out a shaky breath, "You're not mad at me?" She asked in the most heartbreakingly sad voice he'd ever heard and it made him have to take a deep breath as he felt tears come to his eyes.

"I could never be mad at you, Layla. Never. Baby, I love you." Oh, shit. Oh, holy mother fucking shitting shit from Mrs. Anderson's ass. Did he just say that? Oh god, oh no, he hadn't meant to say that last part. He was instantly terrified that he had scared her away for good. That there was no way he could convince her to stay with him after that. There was no fucking way she would feel the same! But damn, he'd actually meant it.

She stiffened in his arms. He felt her breathing pick up as she pulled away from him and as she looked at his face. Had he really just said that? Holy shit. There was no way he could've actually meant it. Her whole life has been full of empty "I love yous", it was always just an instant reaction for her when things would get especially bad. Like when her father would beat her she would always say "I'm sorry, daddy. I love you." Or after she would get raped her perpetrator would sometimes tell her that they loved her and she was forced to say it back or face the consequences.

But nobody could actually love her, she knew that. Her father never actually cared about her and those men sure as fuck never did, either. She never had any friends or extended family that gave a shit about her. She had convinced herself after everything that had happened that nobody could actually love her, that she was unlovable. There was no way that he could actually love her, nobody loved her.

"No you don't." She said with furrowed brows and glaring eyes. When he didn't say anything and just stared at her with a stern look her head tilted and her face softened slightly, "Do you?"

"I've never felt for anybody else the way I feel for you, Layla." He bit his lip and watched her unfazing face, "I think… Ah, fuck me. I do. Layla, I love you." After all there was no taking back what he had said before.

She swallowed hard and took off his jacket, setting it in his lap. She didn't say anything as she stood up and put back on her jeans. She looked back at him as she perched herself on the edge of his desk. He had put his own jeans back on, not feeling the same arousal he did before, and was standing several feet away from her.

"That's terrifying." She said quietly as she looked him in the eye, "I've been told that countless times and it's always been complete bullshit. Fuck, I've said it countless times and it's always been bullshit." She held her hands out and silently asked him to come closer, which he did as he took her smaller hand into his larger, "It's just hard for me to believe that you could ever actually love me, that anybody could. I want to believe you, I do, it's just I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can say it back, either."

"Then don't. You don't have to say it and you don't have to believe me, but just know that I do care very deeply about you." He said running his fingers through her hair.

She got down off of the desk and put back on her shirt before looking at him, "Can I go lay down for now? Please?" He just nodded his head and was about to ask her if he could walk with her, but before he could get anything out she was already out the door with her boots in hands.

How did he manage to mess up again?