Hey Diaz, it's Gina Linetti. I stole Amy's phone.

Hello Gina Linetti
Why did you steal Amy's phone?

It was just sitting there like begging me to save it from Amy's mundane existence

And you decided to text me, out of everyone else you could spam?

Who says I only texted you?

Fair enough

Jake and I happen to go way back, and it's a tad annoying that everyone is focusing purely on his relationship with Amy. It's like they're the center of this operation or something. I don't appreciate the way everyone acts like they're the co-stars of some Thursday night crime show.
No one is acknowledging all the effort I've been putting into solving this case.

What have you been doing?

Well little miss nosy, I happen to be working for two, which means I put twice as much effort into everything I do

I don't think that's how pregnancy works

Excuse me, have you ever been with child?

Can't say I have

Once you experience the miracle of life by way of growing a new person within your womb, we can talk

We're talking now

God I miss our office banter

You must be hormonal, you don't usually admit to enjoying people's company

What are you talking about? I'm the nicest, most genuine person in the entire precinct. That's why everyone always comes to me with their troubles. I'm like the Pope of this place

I appreciate the lack of periods at the ends of your texts

Oh, yeah, Amy's pretty OCD about that isn't she?

Aren't you going on maternity leave soon?

Eh, I'm sticking around until this thing physically pops out of me

Why?

You think my rent pays itself?

I thought Jake pays your rent, since you're his landlord

And where is Jake right now?

Right

Shackles do not a tenant make
Oops I better go now, I accidentally texted that to Jake and now he's having a cow

Ha

I can almost hear your laughter emanating through the tiny text on my screen

Lame

Bye Diaz

Bye Linetti. Thanks for the chat

You're welcome, duh