A/N: Hey everyone, I just wanted to say how blown away I was by the response to the last chapter! I never knew so many people needed to see a discussion about the perils of communication from an autistic point of view. But I get it, it sure is validating to read (and write) stories that normalize our experiences. It was fun diving into the relationship between those two, which I really hope we will get to see more of in the show.
Also, I'm proud I was able to craft a chapter that people still loved despite the complete absence of Catra. But don't worry, she's back now! Here's another mixed POV chapter for your thirsty palates...
Rumble, rumble, rumble...
Adora's palms press tighter to the floor of the skiff, soaking up the soothing vibration of the engine. It's a pleasant monotony, clearing her head of the stressful afternoon. Kind of, anyway. Whenever she catches her mind wandering back to the intel and the arguments and the war strategies, she tries to pull her attention back to the engine.
Rumble, rumble, rumble...
Beside her, Entrapta appears to be engaging in a similar ritual, humming to herself and rocking back and forth as the scenery flies by. They're closing in on Dryl now, the purple metal behemoth growing larger and larger in Adora's vision.
Beep beep!
The warning from the autopilot mechanism jolts Entrapta out of her trance and she jumps to her feet. Peeking back as she takes control of the steering stick, she asks, "Are you okay, Adora? You look tired."
"I am tired," she says flatly.
It's an understatement if ever there was one. Adora is fucking exhausted. She's tired of drama, of being a pariah, of feeling so alone. She's tired of dirty looks from the Alliance and quick, risky hugs from Bow. She just wants to go home, but she doesn't have one anymore, not like she'd hoped she would. She's dying to curl up with Catra, run her fingers through her fur and lose herself in her warmth and the soft rumble of her purrs. But now she can't even have that, because Catra has picked the best time ever to push her away.
"Me too," Entrapta commiserates. "That was a long meeting. I was about ready to tell Angella and Casta to take it outside when they got into that fight over- oh, look!" she suddenly chirps, perking up and pointing down as they crest the castle wall. "They're waiting for us!"
Moving sluggishly, Adora leans over just enough to peer over the edge of the skiff. Scorpia and Catra are sitting in the courtyard on some upturned crates. Joined at the hip, as usual. Their conversation is only broken so Scorpia can bend down to pick up a stick lying at her feet and throw it for Emily. As the bot skitters after it ecstatically, they look up, Scorpia giving them a big wave while Catra simply shields her eyes from the daymoon.
Adora turns her eyes to Emily, curious how she's going to retrieve the stick. Surprisingly, she uses two of her legs to start kicking it back toward the crates. But she abandons it in an instant when she sees the skiff swooping into the courtyard, scampering over to greet them.
Catra and Scorpia also wander over as Entrapta steers the skiff into its designated parking spot. When she cuts the engine, Scorpia asks, "How did it go?"
"The meeting was a resounding success!" exclaims Entrapta, hopping off the skiff as it floats down to the ground. "The Alliance accepted me back! All I had to do was hand over the intelligence and promise my usual technological support." She gives Emily's head an affectionate pat, causing the bot to squeal and beep with delight.
"Amazing! I knew you could do it!" Scorpia scoops her up, cradling her against her chest and nuzzling her forehead. "Who's my little diplomat?"
Barely suppressing a gag, Catra makes a face and glances over at Adora in hopes of commiserating. Instead she finds Adora's eyes on the ground as she steps off the skiff.
"Is it me? I think it's me!" Entrapta puts a finger to her chin in thought. "Adora's not diplomatic. Or little. Or yours." With that, she lays a loud smooch on Scorpia's cheek.
Catra can't entirely tell if Entrapta's seriously unsure or if she's being facetious and taking an opportunity to tease Adora. Probably the latter. Adora huffs and crosses her arms and Catra can't help but snort. When that glare shifts in her direction, she replies with what she hopes is a disarming grin.
"It's you, genius," chuckles Scorpia, batting Entrapta's mask down so it covers her face.
"Hey!"
Rolling her eyes at the obnoxious PDA, Catra attempts to redirect the conversation. "So, Entrapta," she starts as the inventor readjusts her mask, "are you ever gonna tell us what this fascinating intelligence is, or what?"
"Oh, of course!" Entrapta jumps out of Scorpia's arms in her excitement, landing right in front of Catra and immediately getting up in her face. "I wasn't sure if you were actually interested, didn't want to bore you with the details."
"I appreciate that," says Catra, pointedly leaning back, "but this is important."
"All my research is important!"
"Entrapta, just tell them the stuff about Hordak's project," interjects Adora. She does not want to stand here for ages while Entrapta regurgitates all the highlights from the Alliance meeting. When Catra gives her a questioning squint, she shrugs. "Most of what she dug up was electronic scans of Shadow Weaver's files, battle plans and supply requisitions and what not, and we don't even know how useful any of that will be. Especially now that Hordak will be getting a new second-in-command."
"If he bothers," huffs Catra. "He's an incompetant shut-in who pays no attention to the battlefield. No wonder we were losing all those years."
"Yes, I'd have to concur!" interjects Entrapta. "That's what the data says!"
"Try working under him," mutters Catra.
"Okay, so, the story with Hordak," Entrapta begins, clearly not paying her any attention. "Wow. So, he has this big secret project he's been working on for decades." Basically vibrating with excitement at this point, she begins to pace as she rambles, "If his diaries are indeed factual, and I see no reason why they wouldn't be, Hordak is part of an army of clones waging a war for intergalactic domination. They've conquered hundreds of planets, many under Hordak's command. Hordak was one of the top generals until he was cast out after falling ill to some unspecified genetic defect. Then he got sucked into a portal somehow and wound up here. Since arriving on Etheria, his main goal has been to open another portal to contact his creator 'Horde Prime' or, alternatively, 'big brother,' to come pick him up and, well, take over the planet. In the meantime he's started the job, apparently in an attempt to prove he can."
Catra laughs bitterly. "Good luck with that."
"So, wait," Scorpia frowns in thought, "the story from Force Captain Orientation is bullshit? Hordak didn't come here on purpose, and he's not from the ruling class of his home planet?"
"He doesn't even have a home planet. It sounds like he was raised on Horde Prime's main ship like all the other clones and rose through the ranks to become one of his top generals." Entrapta claps her gloved hands, bouncing on her toes. "That and his defect explain his obsession with proving his worth. Isn't psychology so fascinating?!"
Scorpia frowns at Catra. "Huh. Maybe he was trying to mentor you after all."
"If he was, he did a shit job." Catra scowls at the ground, reflexively scratching at the yellowish remnants of bruising on her cheekbone. Pursing her lips, she asks, "Anyway, what are the chances of him succeeding and, um, bringing the rest of the army here?"
"Oh, slim to none! And that's if I'm being generous. Frankly, he has no fucking clue what he's doing," Entrapta chirps, her delighted tone hilariously contrasting the casual profanity. "He's using uninsulated cables and doesn't have nearly enough power in the Fright Zone to support something like that." Her eyes sparkle as she continues, fingertips drumming together. "If he integrated some First Ones tech, maybe..."
"Entrapta, focus." Adora snaps her fingers repeatedly in front of Entrapta's face, demanding her attention. "Him opening a portal would be bad, bad news."
"Right, right. Portal bad," says Entrapta, almost to herself, before resuming her explanation. "Anyway, Hordak did almost succeed once before, but it was a fluke. A little under twenty years ago, there was an anomaly in our atmosphere, what appeared to be a spontaneous portal. Hordak saw the energy readings on his map and took a skiff to the location, hoping to get his message out before it closed, but he was too late. All he found was a human infant, which he assumed must have come through the portal."
"Wait, a baby?" Adora blinks, hard. "You left that part out."
"I gave the Alliance the short version," explains Entrapta. "All the details are in the data, which they were going to read later anyway."
Catra's eyes flit over to Adora, exchanging an uneasy look with her fellow former cadet. A baby, not quite twenty years ago? That could easily be someone in their year. It could even be Kyle, or Lonnie. Or… no, that would be too weird.
"Who was it?" asks Catra, not entirely sure if she wants to know the answer.
"Oh, it didn't say a name, or even a physical description. I don't think Hordak paid much attention to it. The situation, I mean, not the baby. Though probably the baby too, if we're being honest."
"That sounds about right," snorts Adora.
When Entrapta only nods, Scorpia asks, "Okay, so, is that it?"
"The important stuff, as far as I know," shrugs Entrapta. "I didn't have time to comb through all the data before we escaped, Bright Moon's gonna take care of that."
"Alright," nods Scorpia, clacking her claws together. "So earlier, Catra and I were discussing security, you know, being fugitives and all…" She pauses suddenly, squinting in thought. "Wait, just checking, did the Alliance agree to protect Dryl if we're attacked?"
"Oh, yes, of course!" Entrapta stammers, seemingly thrown. "I thought that was implied by the whole 'accepting me back' thing."
Crossing her arms, Catra grumbles, "Yeah, well, those princess types can hold grudges."
"Tell me about it," mutters Adora.
"Anyway, Entrapta, we were wondering if you could throw together some kind of early warning system," continues Scorpia. "Something that tracks Horde technology?"
"Two steps ahead of you!" exclaims Entrapta, boosting herself up on her hair to be at eye level with Scorpia. "I've already isolated the Horde's tech signature, and the blueprints for the sensors are done. I just need to build them, map out their placement and send out the bots to deploy them. It'll be done sometime tonight." Hopping down to address the whole group, she pulls a tablet from her overalls. "Plus now I have a direct line to Bow. We should be able to call in reinforcements quickly, before the Horde closes in."
Scorpia's grin is equal parts affection and relief. "What would we do without you?"
"Die in the wilderness, probably," says Entrapta.
When no one responds, Entrapta's eyes dart around the circle. "Hah, joking!" she exclaims abruptly. "Joking! I'm sure you'd be fine." Her sudden volume makes Adora wince. And she thought she was a bad liar.
Springing back into Scorpia's claws, Entrapta pecks her on the lips. "How was your day?"
Easily falling for the distraction tactic (or perhaps just very forgiving), Scorpia beams down at her girlfriend. "It was good. Put Wildcat through her paces in the ring. Oh, and the wall's almost fixed!"
Adora's eyebrows shoot up, eyes wide and trained on Catra. "Wildcat?"
She's expecting a violent reaction, but Catra dismisses the indiscretion with merely a wave of her hand. "Don't ask," she tells Adora. "Scorpia's Scorpia. I put up with her."
"Aw, you more than put up with me," teases Scorpia, reaching out one arm to ruffle Catra's hair.
Adora blankly watches the interaction, a sick feeling eating at her gut until she notices Scorpia's other arm. It is, quite impressively, still holding Entrapta with ease. Adora's eyes wander to her bulging biceps, widening at the impressive display of fitness.
Well… good for her. Scorpia must work out a lot. Adora is certainly jealous, embarrassed at her own inferior musculature. Why else would she be blushing?
"Ew, stop," protests Catra, swatting away Scorpia's claw. Ducking out of her reach, she points up at Entrapta's perch. "And you two, stop. I'm gonna lose my lunch."
Entrapta smirks down at her pompously, raising a finger as she proclaims, "It's my castle! I give the orders around here."
"You sure do," giggles Scorpia.
Catra makes a gagging face and walks away to the sound of their laughter. With her back safely turned, she lets a fond little smile creep out. As much as she pretends to be annoyed by her friends, she appreciates their company, and it's nice to see them happy. It's just…
Her lips turn down as she considers the source of her malaise. She just wishes she could be happy like that too, with Adora. Or happy at all, for that matter.
Catra had hoped yesterday morning was a fluke, but so far her nightmares have continued to persist outside the Fright Zone. Last night she was sorely tempted to crawl into Adora's bed when she woke up in a cold sweat, a scream dying in her throat as her fingers squeezed the life out of her blankets. But she didn't, because she really doesn't want to go right back to being dependent on Adora. That wouldn't be good for either of them.
"Now I know how Lonnie felt," says Adora.
Catra's head whips to the side, where Adora has somehow managed to sneak up on her. "Huh?"
"You know, with the boys dating. And us, you know, whatever we were doing." Feeling her cheeks beginning to tingle with an oncoming blush, Adora covers her unease with her best Lonnie impression. "'Get a room, ya perverts!'"
Adora chuckles as casually as possible (not casually at all), and Catra just stares at her as they continue to walk. Ducking her tomato of a face into her collar, Adora shoves her hands deep in her pockets and tries to keep her internal screaming strictly internal. Gods, she's such an idiot, why does she say such stupid shit? And Catra said she needed time, why did she have to run after her and remind her of their romantic connection? Why does she have to be such a selfish, idiotic-
"Hey, you wanna see if we can get lost in the castle?"
Head snapping up in surprise, Adora finds Catra eyeing her with a mischievous grin, finger hovering over the power button on her electronic map.
"Why," she scoffs, "because your friends are busy?"
The second the words are out of her mouth her brain is screaming at her again. Shut up, Adora! What did I literally just say about the selfish idiocy?
Frowning, Catra pulls Adora to a stop beside her. "Okay, no, stop," she says, calmly but firmly. Whatever this is about, she's not going to let it join the swamp of festering resentment that lies between them. They already have enough shit to wade through from the past without adding to it in the present.
Raising a pointed eyebrow, she asks, "What the fuck, Adora? I never said I don't want to be friends."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry," backtracks Adora, burying her face in her hands. "I'm just having the weirdest fucking day," she explains, beginning to gesture wildly. "Things are still awkward with the Princess Alliance, like really awkward, and Entrapta compared my social skills to hers, which, no offense, but ouch, and since when is Scorpia allowed to call you Wildcat, in public? I was barely allowed to call you Kitty in private. That's just fucking weird, Catra. You hate it when people draw attention to your, you know..." Adora fumblingly indicates Catra's ears, and Catra can't help the way her eyes narrow. Adora all but growls in frustration and slaps her own face. "Entrapta's right, I'm a fucking disaster, and I don't know how to talk to you when I don't even know what we are, all I do is make things wor-"
Catra's hand clamps over Adora's mouth, aborting the ramble before it can devolve any further. "Adora, stop."
When Catra sees the wild energy in Adora's eyes waning and she's fairly certain she'll stay quiet, she moves her hands so she's gripping the meat of Adora's shoulders. With a steady gaze and a squeeze she hopes is reassuring, she says, "I'm Catra. Talk to me like I'm Catra."
"Which one?" demands Adora. "My friend, my enemy, my lover? How do I talk to my almost maybe possibly future girlfriend who flat out admitted she resents me and can't be around me?"
"I didn't say that," replies Catra, barely quashing the urge to roll her eyes. "I asked you to come with me, Adora, obviously I want you around."
Adora huffs out a laugh. "Sure doesn't seem like it. I've barely seen you since we got here."
"Oh, calm down," retorts Catra. Whoops, there goes the eye roll. "We've been here like a day, and you've been gone all afternoon."
"What about Superpal Trio time last night, or you running off to train with Scorpia this morning?" argues Adora. "It's like you're finding excuses not to be around me."
Suddenly Catra's shoulders are curling in on herself. One of her hands grips above her opposite elbow, the other tightening into a fist. "I didn't want to make you feel bad," she says to the wall, shifting her weight. "I thought maybe after I said what I did it was better to leave you alone."
"That was the worst thing you could have done, Catra," declares Adora.
Catra scoffs, still refusing to meet her gaze. "For you, maybe."
Adora's eyes narrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I needed space, okay?!" The sudden emotion in Catra's voice and eyes catches Adora off guard, her jaw going slack as she continues, "This isn't easy for me, either. I needed to process things on my own, without your sad puppy eyes making me feel like a huge jerk." Catra sighs, kicking at the metal floor. "There was nothing I could do to help you feel better anyway, so why stick around?"
"Because you were leaving me alone. By myself. With my thoughts," Adora spells out. "I don't have any friends here, Catra! It's not like I had anyone to talk to to help me understand or feel better. I barely slept last night." Adora's eyes fall, her voice on the verge of cracking as she admits, "That was a lot to take in and I had so many thoughts and no one to say them to."
Catra's face pales in a wave of dismay as the extent of Adora's distress dawns on her. She knows how worked up Adora gets, how incapable she is of quieting the intrusive thoughts that take her mind hostage and threaten to make her spiral into madness. Catra has often had to be the one to break those cycles. Hell, she just witnessed one. Is this what Adora's brain has been doing this whole time?
Oh, yeah, that's not good. That's really not good.
"You know, I didn't think of that," she admits, mouth twitching with guilt. "If I'd realized you were freaking out, I would have invited you to come hang out with us, help you calm down."
Adora snorts, but it lacks venom. A corner of her mouth quirks slightly as she retorts, "And what, turn you guys into the Superpal Quartet?"
"Why not?" asks Catra, a genuine smile parting her lips. "You're from the Horde too, I think you'd fit right in."
While part of Catra admittedly likes having Adora to herself, integrating her into her new friend group could have its advantages. For one, it would make it easier to spend time together without things getting awkward and painful. And she wants to spend time with Adora, she really does. She just can't stand how loaded it feels every time they interact.
Adora frowns slightly at the suggestion, a look of uncertainty in her eyes. Before she can protest, Catra tells her, "Look, I know they're weird, but they grow on you. Believe it or not, you get used to the chaos."
"Yeah, I think Entrapta and I kinda bonded, actually?" muses Adora. "But she's usually too busy to talk about feelings."
That's a good point, actually. The options for a listening ear here are really limited. Entrapta's Entrapta, and Scorpia is already Catra's confidante when it comes to this stuff. It would be weird if Adora started talking to her about it too. And Catra… Catra can't be that person for Adora right now. She has enough of her own feelings to deal with when it comes to their relationship, or whatever it is.
Catra's gut curdles at the mere thought, but she ignores it long enough to ask, "How are things with Sparkles and Crop Top?" Her eyes fall to the floor, where her toe is doing its very best to burrow into the metal. "Are they still mad you let me go?"
"Bow isn't mad, but he's Glimmer's friend more than mine," says Adora, crossing her arms with a huff. "She's made that very clear."
Catra scoffs. "Uh, I think that's for him to decide, not her or you."
Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Adora demands, "Why would you want me to be friends with Bow? I thought you hated them."
"I do. But you don't." Shrugging awkwardly, she forces herself to hold Adora's gaze as she mumbles, "I just don't want you to feel so alone. You gave up everything for me."
"Because I love you," Adora states plainly. Like it's some kind of easy thing to say.
"I know." Turning away, Catra clears her suddenly tight throat and resumes walking. It takes Adora a few seconds to react and catch up, a few seconds she sorely needs.
"Look," she admits as she hears and feels Adora fall into step beside her, "I know this is not what you were hoping for, when you came here with me. It's not really what I was planning on, either. I'm not even sure what I was planning. I just hated leaving you there, alone." Catching Adora's eye, she grimaces sympathetically. "Even if you feel like the odd one out, I hope we're at least better company than Light Hope."
That makes Adora bark out a surprised laugh. "Yes, you guys are definitely better than Light Hope," she concurs, grinning at Catra. The sight allows Catra to relax, and she joins in on the laughter. Out of relief, if nothing else.
"I just…" Catra kicks at the floor as she trails off, frustrated with her own inability to explain her thoughts. That wasn't something they taught in the Horde, aside from battlefield communication strategies. And Catra's tired of everything feeling like a battlefield.
Jamming her thumbs through her belts, she pushes out a heavy breath and does her very best to be articulate. "Even if I can't make you happy right now," she says slowly, watching every muscle in Adora's face, "I don't want to be the one making you miserable anymore."
Those words hit Adora like a brick to the forehead, nearly stopping her in her tracks. Blinking the surprise from her face, she says, "You don't."
Catra snorts beside her, shoulders hunching slightly as she stares straight ahead. "Adora, you don't need to lie to make me feel better."
"I'm not lying," insists Adora. "Catra, I get to see you every day, and we're not trying to kill each other. I never knew how grateful I could be for that." Catra's mouth twitches listlessly, but Adora is undeterred. "This is hard, and confusing, but I'm not miserable." Hesitating only a second, she scratches her cheek and adds, "I just miss you."
Throat bobbing slightly, Catra makes the most fleeting eye contact in the history of Etheria. "Yeah," she rasps, "I miss you too."
That tight, low tone of voice gives Adora pause. She knows that voice. Adora could keep talking for hours, gods she really needs to talk all this out, but Catra's emotionally tapped out. And Entrapta did say that thing about learning to respect her boundaries…
Settling herself with a deep breath, Adora solidifies her resolve. This situation, it's not just about her. Besides, she feels a lot better already just from discussing this much.
"Hey," she says as light and teasingly as she can manage, giving Catra's hip a little bump. "You still wanna get lost together?"
Catra snorts, eyeing her pompously as she says, "Okay, nerd." But there's a definite twinkle in her eye as well.
"Hey, it was your idea," Adora protests, feigning offense.
"Uh, yeah," scoffs Catra, "this place is boring. Need to stay entertained somehow."
Throwing an arm around her shoulder, Adora tugs her into her side. "Let me guess, this is not because you like me?"
Catra's gait slows to a stop, hampering Adora's progress and causing her to look back. Those magnetizing eyes are watching her intently, steadily. They close in a slow blink, and when they open again there's something new in them. Something that burns deep in Adora's belly and sends a shiver down her every limb.
"If I didn't like you," asks Catra, leaning into the mere inches between them, "would I want to do stupid shit like getting lost with you?"
For a second, Adora thinks she might faint. A woozy feeling comes over her, a warm woozy feeling that she could drown in. As she blinks herself back to full awareness, she realizes her jaw has slipped open and she must be looking at Catra's with the stupidest expression. She can't bring herself to care.
Seeing the way Adora's expression melts into shock and adulation, well, it makes Catra blush a little. And grin a lot. "Come on," she says, jerking her head down the hall, "I'll race you to the atrium. If we can find it."
Adora's smile could light up the whole castle. The joy in those sparkling blue eyes is infectious, making Catra relax with a smile of her own. But just when Catra thinks Adora's gone soft on her, she suddenly shoves off of her, springboarding herself into a sprint and propelling Catra backwards. "Last one to the kitty painting's the rotten bar!"
Huffing out a laugh as she rights herself, Catra calls after her, "If you weren't so slow, you wouldn't have to cheat!"
Adora's cackles echo down the hall as Catra breaks into a brisk jog in pursuit. Her predator's senses light up her brain, mingling pleasantly with the happiness and relief already present as she zeroes in on Adora.
There's no need to rush. She has plenty of time to catch up, and she always does.
A/N: I don't know about you guys, but I stan the Superpal Quartet.
