Sooo I decided to give you a very small chapter to give you an idea where this is going. The previous chapters are still part of the story, however I couldn't really continue it without a time jump because I couldn't ignore every thing that happened in the show.
Don't you worry, it is still the same fanfic and I will still write it in the same style, however you may expect ALOT of angst. That is as if you guys don't expect it already ;)
I decided to explore a little bit of Hanna's and Emily's friendship since this will be a bit slow burn. This chapter would basically take place after the wedding, and as we know that they got divorced, I am taking the story from there.
Again, the previous chapters are still part of the storyline even though i added some of the show's. Let's just say that from last chapter, Emison were together and eventually got married, and Alison gave birth to both Grace and Lilly.
You may expect lots of angst and lots of smut of course !
Let me know how you feel about this.
P.S.: this is still an Emison fanfic !
Also, thank you guys for encouraging me to pursue this story, I feel honored that you guys still care !
Emily's POV
She feels the familiar air hit her. She remembers her youth, growing up in this town and becoming who she is today. She takes a moment to breathe in and out, realizing she is really back. She had just left Grace and Lilly with Pam, and now she's walking down the street with her cup of latte in hands.
She remembers she wasn't always a mother, she remembers she was once a young swimmer and a teenager. She remembers she used to spend most of her times with her friends, trying to escape from A. Nostalgia hits her hard, and she soon finds herself almost tearing up.
She wasn't always this nostalgic.
She wasn't always a mess.
She wasn't always needy.
She wasn't always a divorced woman.
She used to walk down this street, same cup of latte in hands with her ex wife on the weekend's mornings. She had left Rosewood around a year ago. She couldn't cope with the memories anymore. Being away was refreshing, but also messy. Being away was Emily running, without finding anywhere to go. Being away was being in denial. Emily Fields was just not as happy as she wished she'd be at 27 years old. She loved her daughters more than anything, but she just knew that something was missing, even though she had trouble admitting it.
"Emily !", the brunette hears from somewhere near. She turns around trying to see who called her name. She sees the silhouette of a blonde wearing sunglasses, walking fast with a huge grin on her face.
The blonde jumps on Emily holding her like her life depends on it. The brunette almost loses balance from the tight embrace.
"Hanna ! Oh my god, what the hell are you doing here ?!", Emily exclaims excitedly.
The blonde separates from their embrace and looks at the brunette with sparkling eyes and a smile on her face. She puts both of her hands on Emily's shoulders, showing her how happy she is to find her friend back.
"You think you can hide from me ? I saw your story on instagram at the airport. I figured now would be a perfect time to visit.", Hanna explains happily to her friend.
"I'm so glad you're here, Han. I was just feeling nostalgic now.", Emily expresses to Hanna.
They both take a walk around and get another cup of coffee for Emily, as well as one for Hanna. They tell each other all about their latest stories and continue to walk around until they decide to sit on a bench.
"God. I can't believe you and Caleb are over. I can't even picture you with anyone else, it's weird", Emily says as she looks around.
"I know, i thought that too. It was so amazing until it wasn't. I caught myself not being able to move on the Spencer episode, out of nowhere ! I couldn't live with it anymore.", Hanna explains to her friend, a painful expression on her face.
"I'm sorry, Han. Do you think there's another chance ?"
"I don't know, Em. I mean, I can't really tell. For now I do feel like I need to live my life without him. Who knows what happens when I get through this."
Emily looks at her friend with compassion. She somehow sees similarities with her own divorce. She can't help her mind from going there.
"Would you say it all comes down to trust ?", the brunette finds herself asking Hanna.
Hanna looks at Emily, noticing how moonstruck her friend seems. She sighs and thinks about it for a few seconds.
"I guess so. Unconsciously, at least. I really can't help it, like even though I wanted to trust him, something in me didn't truly allow me to.", Hanna says as she looks at her friend, still noticing her sort of lost in her thoughts
Emily hears what the blonde says and her mind wanders to almost 2 years ago, when she sent the divorce papers to Alison. Saying her name in her mind brings her funny feelings, feelings she usually tries to ignore. She feels what Hanna said, because she can truly relate to it. It sort of relieves her to hear someone else say what's in her heart, and she feels validated. Perhaps sharing this with her friend will help her overcome theses feelings she felt for Alison. Feelings of having so much trouble trusting that she really was Alison's soulmate, rather than just a convenient wife for her. Sending those papers was probably the most difficult decision of her lifetime, but she knew she couldn't change how she felt unless she truly was not involved with Alison anymore. Part of her wished for her ex wife to fight for her, and she felt foolish about it.
"Hey, where did you go ?", the blonde asks Emily as she strokes her arm reassuringly.
"Hum.. I was thinking, about what you said. I understand you, Hanna.", Emily tells her firmly, trying to hide her overwhelming feelings from her past.
"Em.. I know it reminded you of her. I'm sorry.", the blonde apologizes sincerely, clearly seeing the struggle in the brunette's eyes.
"No ! No, Hanna. Don't worry. I'm fine.", Emily denies as she smiles at her friend, trying to not go there. She doesn't know if she's ready to talk about it. How is she supposed to explain everything when she didn't truly understand it herself ?
"Okay, Em", Hanna smiles at her friend. She knows Emily. She knows when the brunette isn't necessarily ready to open her heart, and she respects it.
"Are you gonna stay at your mom's ?", the blonde changes topics, hoping it would relieve Emily.
"God.. I think I'm just gonna rent again, for now. I can't imagine myself living with my mom right now.", Emily laughs.
"Are the girls with her ?", Hanna asks excitedly.
"Yes they are ! I'll leave them there while I find a place."
"I can't wait to see them !", Hanna exclaims.
—
Alison's POV
She waits for her flight impatiently. She was never the type to enjoy waiting anyway. She feels her anxiety increasing though. She's not sure if she's excited to take off or if she's dreading it. She keeps replaying a hundred different scenarios in her mind. She is not sure which one makes most sense though.
She opens up her phone and tries really hard not to do what she's been doing for the last few hours. Her legs are slightly shaking. She breathes deeply, trying desperately to calm down. But she can't help it right now. She opens up Instagram and stalks Emily's account again, still replaying the story of hers arriving to Rosewood last night.
She knows it's crazy of her to decide to be back all of the sudden. She has a 3 weeks vacation after all and had no idea what to do with herself anyways.
She has the right to see her daughters too. It's not about Emily, it's about Grace and Lilly.
God, shes loves them so much. It's been so long. She doesn't wanna be away from them anymore.
It has nothing to do with Emily. Her ex wife left, and removed her wedding ring.
What if Emily regrets ?
Should she try to find a way to make her regret ?
"No, stop, Ali !", she murmurs to herself.
It's almost her flight. She feels nauseous. She hates it, but she has no idea how to deal with this. She can't help it. Emily has so much power over her and she hates it.
She wasn't angry before. She signed the divorce papers, would facetime her daughter and small talk with Emily.
But how was she supposed to stay mature about this ? This was the woman she had proposed to. The woman she had chosen to give herself to for the rest of her life.
And she left her.
How could she not hate that Emily doesn't even seem to regret her decision ? How could she not hate the rumors about Emily being a womanizer mess ?
She dated others too. But at least she knows Emily never left her mind. At least the divorce wasn't her decision.
But Emily sent her divorce papers. While Alison thought there was still hope. Emily broke her promise to Alison, and the blonde finds herself bitting hard at her lip every time she thinks about it.
"I promise you'll regret the second you thought of leaving me", the blonde says to herself with tears betraying her eyes.
