The pain never left you.
After your primary commitment at the Mint Eye, it followed you like a shadow, everything a reminder of the brutal suffering the Elixir had inflicted on you. Then, once your secondary commitment passed, the pain was a ghost that whispered agonies into your ear at every corner, constantly following you—though it seemed to disappear after a blink.
As such, the pain you felt when you opened your eyes was familiar.
Familiarly miserable.
"Saeran," You had mumbled, seeing the familiar face scrunched up in worry. The boy had hesitated for a moment and then burst into a firework of apologies and curses and apologies. You didn't remember what you had said to him, but you recalled his warmth as he wrapped his arms around you when you drifted off.
In his arms, the pain stopped.
When you reawoke, though, he was gone.
You tried to pull yourself out of bed, ignoring the blinding headache that was hammering on in your mind. Pain coursed through your veins, your heart facilitating its spread with every steady thump it beat out.
What had happened?
You tried to remember something, anything, but there's just a giant gap in your memory. I escaped from the Mint Eye...then what? You struggled to remember, but it slowly came back. The blanks began to fill in, how you'd stayed with Vanderwood and Luciel, and offered to work with them. You felt a blush come to your cheeks, recalling how you kissed Luciel...but everything afterward was a jumble.
It's no use. You couldn't remember a thing.
You glanced around the room.
On your left, there was a half-drunk glass of water. Was it yours? You didn't know, but the sight of the liquid forced the realization that your mouth was incredibly dry. Ignoring the pain that flitted through your arm as you moved it, you grabbed the glass and downed the water in it.
If you'd had the strength, you would have stood up and gotten more water, your thirst not quite quenched yet, but the simple motion of moving your arm was more than you could handle.
You collapsed on the bed, waiting for someone to come in.
Surprisingly, your wait didn't last. The door opened, and you were instantly met by Saeran's friendly eyes, his mint green eyes glowing a bright...gold?
"(Y/N)?" You heard him call, and you blinked again, trying to clear your vision to no avail.
"Saeran?" You mumbled, trying to keep your sentences short and coherent despite the acute pain that was beating itself through your body.
"A-ah, I'm actually Luciel. Err, Saeyoung."
"Sae...young?" You inquired, your head a mess.
"Yeah. Saeyoung. My real name." He confirmed, walking over to your bed. You stared at him for a moment, your eyes blank as they processed the new information. Then, like a dam clearing, a flood of information swept through your mind and you understood out what was happening. Ah, it's Luciel. You thought to yourself. Wait, not Luciel. Sae...young? Saeyoung? Saeyoung. Yes, it fits him. Saeyoung, of Saeyoung and Saeran. Saeyoung, my knight in shining armor.
You chuckled lightly as you added that last part, the words just seeming to fit. Then, a swarm of pain erupted in your chest like bees, the mirth short-lived, but the feelings of amusement remained.
"(Y/N)? Are you okay?" Saeyoung asked, his body hunched over so that he could look you in the eyes as he spoke.
"Y-yeah," You murmured. "I'm good. Thanks, Saeyoung." You said, testing the syllables on your tongue.
"I..." He began, looking away. "How mentally competent are you right now?"
"What...?" You blinked. Your brain was too tired to figure out what he was asking.
"I mean," Saeyoung said, running a hand through his red locks as he stared at the ground. "How fuzzy is your mind right now? With the Elixir in your system? We have a doctor coming within the next few hours but...do you think you'll remember anything I say now?"
You thought for a moment. What does he want to tell me? You wondered, confused. "I don't," You began. "I don't think I'll remember this. Because I'm pretty sure you or Saeran or someone visited me before and I barely remember that. But I remember how I felt."
You whispered that last part, but Saeyoung's ears caught it.
"How...how did he make you feel? The person who checked in on you before?"
"Safe." You said in an instant, the word out of your mouth before you could process the question. It was instinctive, almost as much of a reflex as the sheer familiarity and comfort that memory brought...being wrapped in gentle arms that supported you as much as they clung to you. "He made me feel safe and...happy."
"I see," Saeyoung said with an unreadable expression.
"Was it..." No. You didn't let yourself ask the question. In all honesty, you feared the answer. What if you were wrong?
"Was it what?" Saeyoung said, turning to you once more, now much closer.
"Was it...you?" You said, bringing your eyes up to meet his golden ones. "Were you the one who held me until I fell asleep?"
Saeyoung glanced away, but the pink blush on his cheeks was an answer enough. You didn't need your mind functioning at full steam to read the man's little quirks. You had barely known him two days (though who could be certain anymore, the Elixir always deluded your sense of time) but it felt like a lifetime.
"Yeah," He said after a long time. "Would you...like me to do it again?"
The hesitance in Saeyoung's voice was unusual. Even when he had first kissed you, he had been confident. In the present moment, though, he left the decision utterly up to you.
You welcomed him into your bed.
Barely able to move, he nudged your frame awkwardly as he pulled himself under the blanket and wrapped his arms around yours. He then brought a delicate hand to your hair, stroking it as Saeran had so long ago, but not in the airy, friend-zoned way the white-haired male had done. With Saeyoung, it was different. Romantic.
"What I was saying earlier," Saeyoung coughed. "When I asked how mentally competent you were...That was just because I just wanted to know if you would remember me apologizing or not. I don't know if you remember, but...I...I brought you to Rika. I was planning on exchanging you...for Saeran. I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I know it's fucked up. I just..."
You interrupted Saeyoung's tangent, holding the boy off on the impending mess of apologies and whispers he was about to deliver. "Who brought me back from Rika?"
"Saeran was the one who kept her from taking you."
"Yes, but," You took a breath. "Who brought me back? And tucked me in bed? Gave me water? Stayed by my side?"
Saeyoung didn't respond, but his silence said more than words could.
"Who is holding my hand right now and letting me forget the pain for the first time in hours?" You forced your chin upward, the motion surprisingly bringing forth no pain, and locked eyes with Saeyoung. The two of you were unable to break eye contact, only then aware of the fact that your faces were just inches apart.
Through your peripheral vision, you saw Saeyoung's throat bob up and then down as he swallowed. His breathing hitched, and he gazed at you with eyes full of affection.
Is this okay? You could practically hear him think. His hesitance was astonishing—and impressive. He had the girl of his dreams, literally in bed with him, two inches away from his lips, and yet, you could hear his inner monologue argue with itself as it debated whether kissing you under the influence of the Elixir was ethical or not.
How could you tell him that there wasn't any debate to be had? In that particular moment, after years of pain and misery, and being in a constant daze from the Elixir, your mind had never been clearer. Your thoughts never more united. Your desires never this intense.
You wanted him.
But how could say that?
You bit your lip.
You wouldn't be able to tell him. Clear as your heart was, you doubted you had the mental capacity to walk him through a full explanation of your emotions. You doubted you even had the vocabulary to portray the intensity of what you felt.
No, you couldn't tell Saeyoung a thing.
You could only show him.
Not waiting a moment longer, you pushed upward and pressed your lips against Saeyoung's. The kiss wasn't intense, fueled by lust as your makeout session with him had been, earlier. It was sweet and special.
Intimate.
You let your lips rest on his and only then noticed the little things. How his hair tickled against your forehead as he leaned downward. How his hands had traveled from your hair to your waist. How he had taken his glasses off earlier, almost as if he were expecting this.
You smiled into the kiss, unable to sense a single trace of pain in your body as Saeyoung melted your suffering away.
He flitted his tongue out, a quick motion that didn't go unnoticed by you. Without hesitance, you opened your mouth and welcomed him further inside you, loving how the moment wasn't rushed or even heated, but how he kissed you slowly to make everything more sensual that you could have imagined.
"Shit, wait," Saeyoung said, more to himself than to you.
You mumbled in dissatisfaction, irate as he pulled back.
"I shouldn't be doing this," He said, moving to leave the bed.
You stopped him.
"No." You pouted, forcing your arm around his body so that he was trapped in your embrace.
Your movement was quick, the arm already laid across his body before you felt the pain that followed the sudden movement. In actuality, you wouldn't be able to hold him there if he truly wanted to move. You knew it. And he knew it.
But still, Saeyoung remained and he laid his head down on the pillow, just above yours. He brought his hand up to your hair and stroked it once more. "Alright, I'll stay."
This time, you knew as you felt yourself being pulled toward the dreamworld, Saeyoung would be there when you woke up.
Word count: 1.9k
Notes: Guess who's sick! Ordinarily, this would really suck since it means that I'll only be busier once I've recovered, but honestly I couldn't care less right now because I'm looking forward to being able to chill for a short while. :) Also I want to get a head-start on the next few chapters. On that note - I really want to thank anyone who's ever commented on or favorited this story! Reading your comments is SUPER refreshing (and I read every single one) and that's what keeps me continuing this story every week 3
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Next Update: 03/09/20
I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.
