Replies to reviews:
SilverDragonflymoon: Thank you for deciding to give this story a go and I am so, so sorry I didn't give a thank you in the previous chapter, I guess I was too excited to post it. And thank you for such kind words, I do try to stay true to the characters, but have the situations they find themselves in alter them and their behaviour.
Ncsupnatfan: I am glad you liked it, and I am sure you're gonna love this one. With Dean and Sarah it is just a long tease, as Secretwrittenword said, they are acting like teenagers in love. Thanks for the review.
Secretwrittenword: Cassie was a little surprise, but she served her purpose of showing Sarah just how alone Dean has been most of his life, and how, as Sarah thought, all he did was take care of Sammy. Who took care of him? I think Sarah wants to be the one to take that role, but I guess we will see. And yeah, the funny little dance... Let's just hope it doesn't take something drastic as death for them to say what truly lies in their heart.
Blondie20000: I like the idea that Cassie ships Dean and Sarah, lol. Yes, the awkwardness had to happen. And as for other Dean ships, I guess I couldn't really find a favorite, so I had to make one up. Lol. And yeah, Sarah can see deep down into Dean's soul, see just how vulnerable he is, how sad and lonely he is. She is going to try and rectify that. Thanks for the review.
Aisha: That hurt. Really. But I am glad you like the fic I recommended.
Summer: Um... Thanks, but no thanks. I'm all good, don't need any more recommendations. Lol. I am glad you liked Cassie here. So sorry about Dean and Sarah and the kiss... Well... Um, go ahead, read what is written bellow.
A/N: So, I teased a kiss with Dean, then I teased and sneezed a kiss with Sam, and then teased some more with Dean. It is now Sam's turn, but I am scared. Scared that you are gonna yell at me if I tease some more. And I think Sam, or even Julia might get super pissed at me too and not want to be my characters anymore... Oh, what's a writer gonna do?
Warning: Not suitable for persons under the age of 18.
Chapter 24: Warming up to you
It was almost time. Just a few minutes till midnight, the exact time when the generators go off and no matter what they tried to do, they would always turn off at that exact time. But it has been three or four days since they woke up in this god-forsaken place, in the middle of the Arctic, in an abandoned research station, and they have somewhat gotten used to the idea of spending the night in the bed, together, wrapped around each-other for warmth.
Sam, being good with his hands and with old machinery, was again by the generator, trying to undo the timer it was on, and again having no luck. He just couldn't find any switch or a button or anything that would even explain why does it power down at that exact time.
"It's almost midnight..." Juls said leaning on the doorframe. He didn't even know she was there, watching him, and she startled him, making him jerk his head and as a result hitting it on a heating pipe. She huffed a laugh at him, while he gave her his best bitch face, reserved mostly for Dean. There was that moment when they both smiled, letting themselves forgetting the peril they were in. Their eyes met just for a second, both with something on their mind, and Sam quickly looked away.
Juls was never the shy type. She had commented about Sam, his body, his biceps and he even caught her checking out his ass. When it came to being front and open regarding what she liked, she was a lot like his brother, maybe even worse. Because she was a woman and she could get away with it, no man in the world would slap her for making a vulgar comment, like Sam has seen women do to Dean a few times... A few dozen times... When they were younger...
"We should hit the hay." Juls said, and Sam wasn't sure if she meant for it to sound the way it did. She did make a few of those comments, looked at him with desire, but he always thought she was just playing around, loving to tease him and see him blush every time. And boy did he blush. Sometimes it felt like he was in school, back in the second or third grade, and blushing when Linda Morison kissed him on the cheek. He met a lot of women (mostly way older than him, cougars and grandmas) who would make such comments, but never acted beyond that.
And there they were again, in the only bedroom in the place, the only room that had some sort of isolation for the cold. With the same awkwardness they felt each time they did it, they took off their clothes, slowly peeling off layer by layer, trembling at the coolness that intensified with each removal of a shirt. They kept going until the only remaining thing on them was their underwear, always with their back to one another. Juls ducked under the covers and blankets first, looking away from Sam as he followed. Seconds later, the generator stopped working and the furnace stopped working. All the lights went out too, all except the one of the small battery they charged up during the day.
The awkwardness grew larger as she turned to him, never making eye contact and snuggled against his bare chest. He cleared his throat as he wrapped his arms around her, letting her body heat keep him warm. It felt so good, it felt so right, but Sam couldn't let himself think like that. He couldn't let that happen, he couldn't let himself go and get lost in her eyes, in her arms, in her... God, she smelled so nice. Even though there was no shampoo in that place, somehow her hair smelled of lavender, it was so soothing, he could get lost in that feeling...
His eyelids grew heavier, but sleep wouldn't come to him, all he could think about is her soft skin, her slight tremble in his arms and the urge to resist it all, to stop thinking like that and realize it was just survival, nothing more. But then she moved, her hand brushing over his stomach and this thoughts became blurry once again, the id, the primal trying so hard to take over. Sam took in a deep breath and opened his eyes wide, trying to scare those thoughts away.
Sure, she was a hunter, she was brought up in this life, she knew all the risks, she knew loss. She even knew about him, about some of the things people claimed he had done, like letting Lucifer out of the cage all those years ago. She knew the rumours and the stories and still she didn't resent him, she didn't care about any of it. But he couldn't, he wouldn't bring her into his life and drag her down when he falls, which he was certain he will eventually. And who knew if she even wanted to? He could just be delusional, reading into her looks at bit too much, maybe trying to find something that he needed, but it wasn't really there.
No, he wasn't going to go there. He wasn't going to let her succumb to the Winchester curse.
She moved her head slightly, sleep already taking her over slowly and her cold nose brushed against his neck. His mind clouded again and he silently gasped when he felt her warm breath on his collar bone. He could feel his own slight shiver and the small jolt of electricity, the sting, the butterflies, whatever it was, going through his chest, down his stomach and straight to his thighs. He closed his eyes as if he was in pain and hoped she didn't feel that.
He was wrong.
Oh, Juls felt that alright. And it felt good, it felt nice to know she still had it in her. She was catching a few wrinkles and grey hairs here and there and it felt so empowering to know she still could make a guy loose it just from being close to her. She smirked a devilish smile he couldn't see, but there was nothing evil about it. "Is that another flashlight I am feeling?" She whispered with a playful voice, and looked up at him. She could see in the dim light of the room that he closed his eyes in embarrassment and started to blush and it made her smile brightly once more. He was so cute when he was embarrassed.
When he said nothing, she decided to make another move and see how he takes it. Letting out another warm breath on his collar bone, she brought her lips closer to his skin and gently brush them against him, barely touching. She could feel his tremble once more, the stiffening in his underwear and she moved again. She set her lips on his skin and pressed them for just a second before pulling back.
"Wha...What are you doing?" Sam barely let out, his eyes still closed, his mind foggy. The feeling was intoxicating, making him feel like he was high up in the clouds, but also so calming and oh! so good. He clenched his jaw, biting the inside of the cheeks, a part of him still trying to fight it.
"Seducing you..." she said as she pressed her lips on his neck once more, this time sucking in on his skin for a split second before she pulled away to say "Isn't it obvious?" And much to his sweet torment, she continued kissing him, slowly and gently.
It was driving him mad. One part of him wanted her, wanted her now, and not just to feel her body, but to feel her, to feel someone close, to let someone in. And another part, the logical part didn't want to let her risk it, they lost everyone they ever cared about, and he was scared it would happen to her too. No he was sure it would. HE WILL NO RISK IT!
So he pushed her off gently and turned her back to her, shivering more from the excitement of his body than the coolness of the air.
Her smile dropped seeing him turn around, and she felt a bit rejected, even though she had seen the struggle in his eyes, sensed his slight shiver and felt the bump in his underwear, it still confused her. She didn't realize quite yet why he would push her away when it was so clear he wanted her, she didn't understand his indecisiveness. Her face softened, and sadness appeared in her eyes. Maybe she was reading too much into it.
Still, she pulled herself closer to him, leaning her body up against his back, trying to keep him warm. She threw her arm over his, but didn't let her hand wonder of towards his stomach. She leaned the side of her head, her ear on his back so as not to breathe onto his skin again and finally she closed her eyes, accidentally letting out a sigh.
Sam's mind followed her motions and expected, wanted, hoped for just one more specific touch, one that can be interpreted as desire, just one more to send those shivers down his spine, to send him spiralling over the edge.
He did not expect her movements to be so caring, but refraining at the same time. He did push her away, but didn't expect her to fall back so easily, to just give up. Heck, a part of him even expected some pouting or something, not for her to hug him just to keep him warm. Could it be? Could there be something more than just...
Sam's eyes slightly widened as she let out the sigh, and he felt a sting in his heart. Was it his actions that hurt her? He did not want to hurt her. He wanted to keep her safe. He closed his eyes heavily as he remembered, sometimes if you want to keep the people you care about safe, you have to push them away. It worked out so well for him and his brother so many times, he actually huffed a mental laugh at his thoughts.
When did he start caring about her in that way?
A few hours passed, she seemed to be sleeping and Sam felt he has finally calmed down enough, his erection finally went away and he signed in relief. He did not need that now, no matter how right it felt, no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how good she smelled, how smooth her skin was... Dammit! There he goes again.
Suddenly, he felt her shiver, her arm twitching and he turned his head to get a better look at her. And all the blood drained from his face when he saw that again. No, no, no... His mind screamed as he saw her lips turned blue, her face pale and her breathing so shallow. He turned around and immediately wrapped her arms around her, only to find that her back have almost turned to ice. His heart started racing, and he started to panic.
So quickly, he took her arm and rolled her on her left side, wrapping his arms around her tightly, and even going so far as to wrap his legs around her.
Sam hugged her as widely and as tightly as he could, using his entire form as a blanket for her, making as much skin contact with her nearly frozen back to spread his warmth to her. Please, please - was the mantra he repeated again as his heart pounded fast and faster in worry for her life.
He leaned into the back of her neck and purposely blew hot air, letting his eyelids close and letting the guilt wash over him. He wouldn't be Sam if he did blame himself for this. If only he hadn't so abruptly turned his back on her, if only he just told her to stop, explained why it couldn't happen. If only he didn't care so much about her...
He didn't know when he drifted off to sleep, or how long has he been under it, but it must not have been long, because despite Juls movements, her back still felt cold. Not as cold as before, but enough for him not to let go just yet. "S-Sam?" she asked, her teeth chattering. She was still shivering from the cold, but at least she was conscious and aware.
"I'm here." He replied gently squeezing her arm with his hand, and he felt his heart jump a beat knowing she was going to be ok. He let out a silent sigh of relief and then promised himself he will not be so reckless around her ever again.
"Why?" she then asked and he frowned. Why what? Why is he there? Why was hugging her and not letting go? He realized if she fell asleep while keeping his back warm, she might not know she nearly froze.
"Your back... You fell asleep with your back exposed and..." he started to explain, feeling a bit awkward, but not at the position they were in. He felt awkward that none of this felt awkward. It felt so natural. It felt so good. And that's why he was confused when she interrupted him.
"No, why are you here? Why do you keep saving me? Why do you care?" she asked still shivering and shaking.
"You... Why do I...? Why would you think I don't... Oh..." He did reject her. He did turn his back on her. He let a heavy sigh escape him before he started talking again. "I care. And not just cuz it is what I do. I care about you. In fact, I think I care a lot..."
"So then it is about what you... What we do?" she asked, knowing well one of the job requirements was not to get attached. Not to start caring about a person only to see them perish in a gruesome way. The silence that fell between them said it all. She thought that might be why he acted the way he did, and the silence confirmed it. She turned her head slightly to look at him, to try and read the expression on his face.
It was true. What she said, it was true. He couldn't let her in, he couldn't, he shouldn't let himself care about her and have her as vulnerability. But he closed his eyes to let the realization sink in. Because he knew, right then and there, he already let her in. He already cared about her enough to know, he won't let her go. So he opened his eyes just in time to see her turn her sad dark brown eyes at him. He gazed in them, wishing he could just get lost in their darkness, forever. He let out a heavy sigh, the one that is not burdening, but rather lifting.
Letting his needs prevail over his common sense felt so liberating as he leaned in and placed a short soft kiss on her lips. He pulled back never breaking eye contact, waiting for her reaction. His heart jumped as he saw that soft smile on her face and that spark in her eyes. He glanced at her lips and brought his attention back on her eyes as if he was seeking approval, though he knew the smile was just that.
She was usually the one to make the first move, she was the one who was direct and she was the one that when she saw something she wanted, she went for it. But when he placed that soft kiss on her lips, she lost all sensation in her legs, she lost her breath for a second, but that feeling deep down in her stomach... Even if she never felt the butterflies, she sure knew what that feeling was right now. So she just stared at him, shocked and confused by his action, but thrilled about it nevertheless. She barely managed that smile, feeling like she wanted to tackle him and return a much more passionate kiss, but found herself unable to even move, mesmerized by his eyes.
She silently gasped and felt a pinch in her chest when she saw him leaning forward once again, his ocean colored eyes gazing deep into hers as if he could see all the way to her soul. His soft lips pressed against hers once again, but this time they stayed a bit longer, caressing her lips, dancing around them and it was so intoxicating. Her mind went blank, only letting itself feel the warmth in that kiss, the passion, the desire.
There was an explosion of emotions somewhere in her mind, where, she didn't know, she didn't care. It happened when his tongue slipped into her mouth dancing around hers and he pulled her even closer that she thought possible, holding onto her tight, but gentle at the same time.
Never allowing his lips to part her, she slowly turned to lie on her back to make herself a bit more comfortable, and also to be able to reach him, lifting her left hand to caress his cheek her soft fingers tracing his jaw line. She could feel his silent hum vibrate through the kiss, making her shiver for excitement even more. God, he tasted amazing, sweet, almost like cotton candy, making her want to just capture his illusive tongue and suck all the sweetness out of it. Still, not wanting to show all her kinkiness on their first night, she instead opted to turn to him fully, letting her hand roam over his strong chest.
Julia's movements sent tingles down Sam's spine, but when her hand fell on his chest, the tingles transformed into goosebumps. He could feel the passion tugging at him, wishing to take over and Sam still tried to resist, tried to push those thoughts away. Then, just as Julia's soft fingers brushed lower at his stomach, his mind went completely blank. He reached for her, grabbing her hip and clenching it lightly before his hand moved around to her lower back, squeezed her ass and pulled her even closer.
Julia huffed a laugh through the kiss, and gave up her current course to reach behind Sam, grab his ass too, and practically slam him into her, making him gasp. The kiss broke, only for a second, both panting hard, trying to catch their breath and taking a moment to search the other's eyes, as if they were both making sure they wanted this to happen. Sam wasn't really holding back, no, Julia was just being a bit impatient, so she broke the eye contact, opting instead to kiss the corner of Sam's lips. And then his cheek. And then his jawline, right by the ear. Then slightly underneath that, and then some more lower and lower.
Sam closed his eyes and did nothing but breathe, and feel her tracing her kisses lower on his neck. His breath hitched as he felt her hand coming back from his rear to the front, to his stomach, slowly and gently caressing it's way lower, making his breaths slowly turn into panting. And then he gasped as her hand ever so slowly brushed against his hard member, and then groped his length making Sam's eyes shot up to meet hers just when she pulled back. A very devilish smirk crossed her lips and she leaned in again, tracing kisses down his collarbone, moving her hand to further his arousal. Soon, Sam's eyes were closed again and he was moving in rhythm, pushing himself against her hand.
Suddenly, Sam jumped as if he was electrocuted when Julia tongue went over his nipple and he pulled away almost completely, starting at her for a good few seconds, making her fear that she had done something wrong. But then, Sam is lunging forward, kissing Juls with such passion it made her dizzy for a moment. Her hand came close to grip him again, but Sam grabbed her hand and pulled it above her head, making her fall back on the bed, gasping at his actions. He kept kissing her, ferociously, trailing her lower lip with his tongue and then softly biting down on it, leaving her breathless.
As he kissed her, he moved so that he was almost on top of her, prompt up on his left elbow. That position left an opening for Julia's other hand, the one that wasn't currently trapped by Sam's tight grip, and she reached under him, moving past his underwear and gripping at the side of his ass, as much as she could reach. Sam probably would have left her to do that if her hand didn't try and sneak to the front, her soft fingers brushing just over his V line and coming so close.
Sam grabbed the other hand too, and pulled it above her head, right next to the other. Crossing them, he was able to hold them with just one of his colossal hands. Julia gasped loudly at this, her breath hitching and her heart pounding so hard. There was a mixture of excitement and fear in her eyes as she watched Sam almost rip her bra off of her as his lips trailed further down her neck. A small whimper escaped her lips and Sam immediately stopped and brought his gaze up on her.
He looked at her with questioning eyes, not really sure if it was fear he was seeing in them, not knowing that his actions caused a small flashback of her time in that damn warehouse with that damn demon that bore the face of her love. She was restrained with her hands above her head back then while the demon tortured her, but now, every fiber of her being screamed at her for making him stop.
Recognition flashed upon Sam's eyes and he loosened his grip, but didn't let go completely, and watched Julia's eyes with anticipation, holding perfectly still, not moving aside from breathing. She stared back at him, the demon long forgotten and the need building up, but she didn't know what to say to keep him going. Her breath calmed, making her chest heave at a slower pace and as if guided by something else other then her mind, she arched up with her breath, just a bit, letting her chest come up to his. And when there was still uncertainty in his eyes, she lifted a knee, brushing it gently between his thighs.
Sam screwed his eyes shut and let out a groan, then lunged to kiss her neck, and while his hand rested up on hers, the other caressed down her neck, over her perky breasts, just touching, not gripping, not yet. One moment he wants to rip everything off of her and take her hard and fast, and then he wants to take it slow, take his time and tease her, all the while enjoying the feel of her skin on his.
One moment he feels like he could explode, come just from her touch and nothing more, and then in the next he feels like he could last for ages, just for a chance to see her moan under his body. His fingers slowly went further down, passing right between her breasts, not touching a single one, instead playfully moving to tickle her stomach. He heard her trying to hide a shaky gasp when he reached an uneven part of her skin, a scar, and he pulled out to gaze back into her eyes. Slowly and ever so gently, his fingers traced all along the scar, his eyes reassuring her it is ok, that he doesn't care about the imperfections of her body, but it didn't seem to work, not like he hoped.
Julia closed her eyes for a moment, her lower lip shaking just a tad, and then she opened them, giving Sam one sad, but determined look. He was more than just a one night stand to her now, she could feel it. She could feel getting attached to him almost from the moment they met. He was becoming something more. And she hasn't had more in a while, not since Jake. She tried to shield herself away from love, but those ocean colored eyes rendered her powerless to keep fighting. And honestly, she didn't want to fight it any more. She wanted to love and to be loved, she wanted to let go.
"Kiss me." She whispered, slowly breathing in and out. She needed to feel him, she needed to know he was there. She needed him. Sam's hand that was up till now laying peacefully on her stomach, waiting patiently to see what would she want him to do, moved back to cup her cheek and place the softest kiss he could on her red puffed lips. She pulled her hand under his, and he let her, and set it on his neck, just under his ear, her thumb tracing his jaw line as she kissed him back, so slowly it hurt.
She pulled her other hand too, placed it on the other side of his neck in the same position and pulled Sam for an even deeper kiss that spoke volumes of her need to be loved and bore a warning not to shut her down, not to leave her behind as she would not be able to take it. Sam just followed her lead, and as much as he wanted to trace his hand all over her body, to learn her every curve, he refrained moving for now.
Julia quickly grew bored of that, and with her hands free, she took the opportunity to caress Sam's back, caress all the way to his lower back, under his underwear and with both hands grip his ass tight to pull him closer again. She could hear him gasp, but didn't even let him have a moment as he lifted her wrists, letting the band of his underwear slide downward a bit, and then quickly moved to take them off even further, swiftly moving her hand to the front. Just before she could reach her destination, Sam managed to grab her hand, and then the other and slam them back on the pillow above her head. Panting hard, he gazed into her eyes, not knowing what to expect, but he knew he couldn't let her do that, not now, not the way they were going. He was burning slowly and this just might have sent him over the edge.
There was no fear in Julia's eyes, not now. No, there was just a smile only she could pull off, a half genuine half devilish smirk that reached her eyes and made them sparkle. Seeing that made Sam let go of the last bit that was holding him back, and he lunged forward to kiss her passionately, moving his lips down her neck soon after that, sucking and biting, making her hum with excitement.
He moved lower, letting his lips play with her breasts and making her hum turn into silent moans as she tried to hold them back. She didn't even feel when he reached down and pulled her panties until he tugged at them, making her pull her leg so that he could take them off completely. He took his underwear off too, his lips never parting her body as he moved on top of her, using his knee to part her legs open. Julia tugged a bit, trying to break her hand free and let them roam over his body, and Sam lifted himself back to face her, their eyes locking once more, saying so much then words ever could.
Not letting go of her hands, he watched her as he lowered himself, leaning his painfully hard member right between her folds, making her gasp so loudly, her chest rose all the way up to his and then her breath hitched and her body trembled as she felt the rush of pure arousal throughout her body. Sam closed his eyes heavily in concentration, bitting down his lower lip and then... he just... started moving...
Julia unwillingly let out a loud moan as he brushed against that sweet spot right outside and Sam let his forehead lean on hers, panting and focusing not to lose it. He groaned as he rocked back and forth, and Julia stared up at him, her eyes wide, her mouth slightly ajar and her breaths so shallow. Oh, he was driving her crazy.
"S...Sa..." Julia tried, her voice lost between her pants, her mind unable to focus to produce actual words. "Plea... Sa..." As if on command, without lifting his head, he pulled himself away and repositioned, before he sunk back down, slowly entering her making her choke on her own words, gasping for air as if she was drowning. Her mind went blank as that intoxicating feeling washed over her. And Oh! My! God! he kept going in, deeper and deeper, and Wow! how big was he?
She thought it couldn't get any better than this, but she was proven so wrong when he started moving, slowly pulling out and then dipping back in, slowly, too slowly, making her mind fog and her heart pound so fast, it threaten to leap out of her chest. He was just So. Damn. Slow. Painfully so. Wanting more, wanting it now, wanting him Julia distracted him with trying to set her hand free and when his focus was on that, she pulled her legs up, wrapped them around him, and squeezed pulling him in a little bit faster.
It was Sam's turn to gasp and his eyes shot open and their looks meet again, and Sam was instantly lost in those two dark voids, but with his inner being with a mind of its own, he started moving just a bit faster and a bit harder. The sounds she was making were pushing him over the edge so fast, his head was spinning and he didn't even know when he let go of her hands, as he suddenly felt them roaming all over his body before coming to his back, scratching and digging her nails into his skin, making Sam give out a loud moan of his own.
Pushing the rhythm, he leaned in and captured her mouth in a sloppy kiss, muffling her shouts, but he had to pull away soon as it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Jesus, she felt so good, so right underneath him, strong, yet fragile, beautiful and simply... Amazing.
Sam kept going and going, moving faster but never taking his eyes off of her, the look of pure ecstasy on her face making him co close to the edge, his pants turning into shouts of incomprehensible words. "Sa...aaa...Saa...SaaaaAAAaammmm..." The sound of his name spilling from her lips as she reached those heights sent him over the edge tumbling with the thought it was him that caused her bliss, it was his name she was calling. It was him she wanted. He thrust hard one last time before he came undone, choking on his own breath, the move making Julia scream.
A few minutes he stood perfectly still, panting so hard his throat went completely dry, he tried to catch his breath while still on top of her, still inside of her. It took all he had not to collapse on her. Mustering the last ounce of straight, he pulled away and fell next to her, quickly draping them with a blanket.
Next few moments they just laid next to one another, trying to catch their breath, both staring up at the ceiling. But then, Julia's cold hand found Sam's shoulder and then moved on top of his chest, and he set his hand over hers as he turned to look at her. She had the most beautiful smile on her face he has ever seen, and his own lips quirked into a smile.
Suddenly, the lights came back on, followed by the rattling sound in the vents and the heater was working again, and they both just broke into laughter. Talk about timing. But once that laughter toned down, those goofy smiles still plastered on their faces, it was Julia who huffed and spoke first.
"Damn it!"
"What is it?" Sam said lifting his head to look at her, slightly worried.
"I forgot the whip-cream."
