The next morning Sarevok was grim and quiet, donning his plate armor and not talking much. This might have simply been due to the looming meeting with Kusatte Iru, unless Peri had noticed the fresh cut in his arm.
- "Where did you get that from?" she asked, frowning.
Sarevok blushed, and didn't answer immediately. Peri's frown deepened, and then a realization dawned on her.
- "You cut it yourself, didn't you?" she said incredulously. "You cut yourself in your own arm."
Still Sarevok couldn't think of what to say.
- "What is the matter with you?" Peri asked, her voice rising, the first signs of anger on her face. Both of the siblings were oblivious to Umikaze, who in turn was oblivious to the serious challenge ahead and burrowed inside and outside of the blankets, going 'Pllllate mail! Plllate mail!' and pointing at Sarevok's armor.
- "Very well, sister," Sarevok said, directing his gaze into Peri's eyes. "There is a good chance that we will not live to see tomorrow, and if that happens it is anyone's guess what will happen to us. You deserve to know the truth. Mei... I met her last night, after you had already fallen asleep. I was drawn to her as if by magic... and she stood there in the moonlight, beautiful to my eyes. And she understood me, instinctively, when I wondered about her..."
- "Go on," Peri said. "It was obvious from the beginning that the two of you were attracted to each other."
- "That is just it!" Sarevok burst hotly. "I...went to her bedchambers and I... kissed her."
- "Good for you! What then?" Peri asked, though she guessed already.
- "When I realized I was this close... this close!" Sarevok drew breath, "to making love to her... it felt so natural, and I wanted it so badly... I came to my senses and ran away."
- "You came to your senses." Peri's voice was as blank as her look.
Sarevok struggled against the hot tears again. They felt more like stinging acid than brine.
Peri sighed, realizing that further ridicule would be of no use.
- "And then, crushed with overwhelming guilt, you cut yourself because it made the pain easier to endure by obscuring its origin," she said sadly.
Sarevok just nodded, swallowing.
- "Brother... what purpose would it serve to carry a flame to a ghost? Tamoko is gone from this plane of existence. Gone. She has moved on, and so should you. The living are meant to live and love," Peri said, very kindly, touching her brother's arm.
- "Not me, I am not meant. It is my fault that her life was sad and all too short. I didn't love her right in life, so let me do so in death. I suffer, you say? Sure I do. That is a small price to pay, Peri."
- "You call this a small price?"
- "Yes. Compared to all that I have done. In general, and to her. I have no right to love again, even if such a thing is possible."
- "What would you call what you felt for Mei? Surely more than mere physical attraction?" Peri asked.
- "I do not know! Perhaps... perhaps it is the oni tempting me, trying to get me to give in to my selfishness and pursue something I am not entitled to have!"
- "Sarevok... dear brother. Now we have a nasty beast to fight, so we can talk about this if we survive. But you do deserve peace, and you do deserve happiness. After all you have gone through, you do."
Sarevok was about to argue, but then seemed to think of something else.
- "Peri. There is another issue I... Umikaze."
- "What about her?"
- "She is very young. You are her mother. You... this doesn't have to be your fight. It is about me, and my debt of honor. It would be awful if she was left an orphan because of me."
Peri's expression was a mixture of exasperation, anger, and deep love. She gripped Sarevok's arm hard.
- "Sarevok. Did you ever let me down? Did you ever walk away when I needed your help? Are you not my brother? Damned will be the day when I am left behind to let you risk your life alone! Besides, we are racing against time, and we don't have the time to search for another warrior who can last long against that beast. If worst comes to worst, I am sure that she will be taken care of. These people are big on honor, and if we die protecting their country they would do so, wouldn't they? Let's go now."
She picked up her child and planted a kiss on her chubby cheek.
- "Plllllate mail! Plllllllllate mail! Mom plllllllllate mail! Saleffffok pllllllllate mail!"
The troubled Sarevok followed.
