Review Time:
The Wolf Paladin - The Saul of...? Nah it's me just bringing up an older plot point. I also curbed how much I made Leonie jeralt/byleth conscious. Long story short, it's not what I had originally thought of.
Aust Sakura Kyzor - Yeah I know I can't please everyone with pairings. :(
CompletelyRossone - Yes and yes!
Plasma Dragon 312 - Precisely how I see it.
Dandaman5 - Thanks!
Mike AZ 2 - Good news. You've read my mind.
Unzealots - I will do the first part, but I can't really do the second part. I dunno, it didn't really cross my mind.
DestructionDragon360 - The Thracia method!
B.I Beast - Nah it's just for a gag, Lysithea will be fine!
Guest - Having both Byleths would be funny, but..hm. I only picked female Byleth since I had more situations to think of her in. I don't think one is more canon than the either, really. Actually wait...
Attention everyone! We have achieved Lady Rhea back from the help from….shall we say other students. They are our allies now - Yuri, Constance, Balthus, and Hapi.
-Seteth
Alois - Well done. We were all rooting for you but when Bernadetta's father challenged you after she dragged him back here, you defeated him soundly. There's nothing more than I respect than a dutiful father. …..er, I do not have one. I politely decline the offer for you to be mine as well.
Anna - I would commend you for hiring these individuals from the Abyss to get Lady Rhea back, but you exposed several church secrets and promised an insanely high sum to these four for their assistance. How are we supposed to fulfill this? Oh of course, you'll buy our debt so you'll have power over Garreg Mach…..to conduct all the businesses you want. Fine. You win. I'll pay any price for Lady Rhea's safety.
Annette - You're very welcome to have Gilbert back. Perhaps you two should secure the Dominic House relic….no, I did not say frolicking in the woods.
Ashe - I suppose I cannot prevent you all from exploring Abyss, but do you have to begin discoveries with "Zoinks"? What even is that word?
Balthus - Thank you for your efforts. …..yes, I know what Anna promised you. If bounty hunters are such a hassle, I'll move some funds around.
Bernadetta - We were all in a good mood when Alois defended your honor, but we were also a little disturbed to have you scream and smack your father with several blunt objects. We've taken him away before you completely snap.. Here, channel Braveadetta to keep an eye on Hubert….
Byleth - I am sorry. Lady Rhea has specifically requested that you (and, only you) give her sponge baths. Anything to facilitate her recovery, please. ….you don't mind?
Caspar - You are…..a mind beyond my understanding. Axe proficiency does not mean you get six of them, tie them together vertically, and use a giant axe pole weapon to smack the Death Knight with.
Catherine - I understand you're a tad disappointed you didn't do it personally but we're not "letting" Lady Rhea get captured so you can save her, even if the plan was to use regular guards and to have her be moved only 2 feet from the grounds.
Claude - Lady Rhea must rest. If you keep prodding her about her secrets, I will let Cyril do whatever he wants to keep you in line.
Constance - A pleasure to have you on our side. I am sure we can begin restoration of your house when the war is over…also I request you start taking parasols whenever you go. People are unnerved by "Sunstance".
Cornelia - I'm just as surprised as you are over these new developments. But you're one of our prisoners now, and without you Faerghus has a chance of joining our efforts. You'd better start thinking of ways of being useful to the war front. We don't want you to lock you in the same cell as Dimitri, do we?
Cyril - Wait for Claude's response before you prepare the bombs. …also do not prepare bombs!
Dedue - You don't seem to be an active threat so you can be released. Please, it is HIGHLY imperative you always stand by Dimitri's cell. You're one of the few things that can decrease his murderous rage ever so slightly.
Dimitri - If we have to send in Dedue and Byleth armed just to give you regular food, we will. You cannot request weeds and rocks to consume. Good heavens…..
Dorothea - You are asking me if you can marry the man you have in mind? I'm touched, but you do not need my permission. ….it is a man because you implied it is, I know women can marry other women. I am not old-fashioned!
Felix - Stop acting as if your own father is as bad as Bernadetta's. I've seen too much father baggage from you all, but this is nothing you can't talk out.
Ferdinand - I am sorry your father is dead. If there's anything I can do, let me know. You can marry Dorothea and have a bunch of Aegir children after this is done.
Flayn - People are asking why you called Rhea "Seiros". You know what, this is getting ridiculous. This army is getting too big to hide secrets and we already disposed of the one that took your blood. Byleth will protect us. It's time we tell the truth.
Fleche - Apology accepted. Perhaps you can be a Knight of Seiros with some dedication. Oh, it is advised you give me the 257 knives you were hiding just to try to kill Byleth.
Gilbert - You will be in charge of carrying out Cornelia's sentence here and eventual fate in the Kingdom for her transgressions. So when she implies that she had relations with your wife, it is incredibly obvious she is only trying to provoke you. Do not believe her lies. Yes, I have seen the size of her "harlot breasts".
Hanneman - Manuela did not think it was funny for you to instruct the dining hall staff to drop her food. People, can we stop tempting those who prepare our food?
Hapi - I must thank you for all you've done, but I think "cancelling" the church is a bit out of my power at the moment.
Hilda - You will not start fads just to spice up wartime life. Put away the hula hoops, attachable side burns, kazoos, harmonicas, and other assorted knickknacks.
Hubert - What? From the destruction of the fort you could ascertain where the base of the Slithers are? Tell me! No, I am not calling them TWSTD! "Slithers" is more to the point! I see. So you're using this as a bargaining chip to secure your release. Do not make me send Bernadetta at you.
Ignatz - Perhaps we should not serve you coffee. You keep bouncing in your seat at war meetings and you're all jittery.
Ingrid - Trying to remind Dimitri of the "good ol' days" is a terrible approach. Each pleasant memory he counters with grim memories of death and blood. Trying to entertain him with the tacky gold coin under your ear trick is not helping either.
Kronya - I know "Agarthan" is the proper term, but you of all people should know the army will never address you as such. It's either "Slitherer", "Moleperson", "Titty Clown", or "Hot Girl That Killed Jeralt".
Jertiza - It seems your sister was effective in capturing you at the fort. For everyone's protection, we have chained you up in this dark chamber and we will not be letting you out under any circumstance. Mercedes has promised to bring you cookies. ….what? You want ice cream?
Judith - We really do not need to know the approximate power of your cervix.
Ladislavia - There are better things to do with you time than write and rehearse the resignation letter to Edelgard, as if you're going to be fighting her head on. There's a quite a few that wish to settle the score with her.
Lady Rhea - Words cannot describe the elation I have at seeing you back with us. You've been through a lot. But we will end this war on our own terms. I do think it is time to reveal all you know about Byleth and her origins, just so we can all have closure. Afterward, please rest up.
Leonie - I really would rather you not encourage the pet behavior of Kronya by serving her dog kibble and dirty dish water in bowls. Even if she consumes it in front of you. Even if you think it's "pathetically funny".
Linhardt - Do not flip coins to decide if you're going to sleep OR write a dissertation on Lysithea's condition. What a limiting scale of activities.
Lorenz - I will not be your "wingman" while you decide to court Ladislavia.
Lysithea - Comforting Ferdinand over his dead father does not translate to saying "if it helps, you'll be bald well before his age".
Manuela - Request to organize all the men by the sizes of their…..um…..the answer is no. No it is not "for science".
Marianne - I am sorry Count Edmund has disowned you. Although from the big smile on your face you're not particularly bothered by it.
Mercedes - I am impressed you carried out your plan, as in you actually bent your brother over your knee and spanked him. Since he was the Death Knight, people are now more afraid of you than anything else, but I am sure that is little consequence. Be warned you are the only person preventing Jertiza from being executed. Yes….right….Emile.
Nader - People have requested you stop "manspreading" in the sauna. Yes I am aware you are quite large and the benches are not that big.
Petra - Manuela is not sharing that data with you, even if you think it would help you figure out what man has the best genes for your offspring.
Randolph - Do not take this uncle title so seriously. You do not have to loan people money, tell them ridiculous stories, tell unfunny jokes, and offer to show people "how to be a man". Dear Goddess, one Alois is fine enough.
Raphael - I cannot you went ALL the way to Faerghus and disrupted the pro-Empire dukedom by kidnapping Cornelia of all people. How did you…..I'm not going to question it. The dining hall has decided to revoke your ban.
Rodrigue - At least, we have some Kingdom support. I would recommend you stay around to help Dimitri change, but maybe try to amend your relationship with your son as well. He is not going to forget that one time you accidentally (he thinks differently) called him Glenn. I know, mistakes happen.
Shamir - You tell everyone you keep your gloves on to always be ready for the next battle. So imagine our shock when you took them off, they were flawlessly manicured and well-moisturized. I get that it's a secret but please do not say, straight-faced, that you'll kill whoever finds out the secret.
Sylvain - You're sorely mistaken if you think Edelgard and Dimitri can solve both of their problems if they…..have relations. They would just kill each other.
Yuri - Thank you for all your assistance, we…..I'm sorry. The church has too much dirty laundry to resolve it so quickly. Abyss should be destroyed and all of you able to live whoever you wi-it's not that? Then what? Wait, what about Aelfric?
To be continued...
a) we're coming close to the end. Next is post Edelgard - dubstep city - ? (hint: it is not what SS endgame normally is) so the cast has gotten really big, but i don't need to write it that way for too long.
b) yep, the cs students. the DLC itself takes place in a separate timeline so you can't really have its events within the main story...except, when you can? i'm glad i got to include them but moving forward might be spoilerly.
c) something still has to give for dimitri to snap back and i really hate to kill you-know-who, buuuuuut i did still kill jeralt. i'd actually take suggestions if someone has an idea. i'm also surprised i haven't done any byleth time gags at all. actually, i JUST thought of something so crazy it's kinda brilliant. and unique!
