Disclaimer, I do not own RWBY or any of the franchises referenced in this work
Chapter 24: Isekai
Inspiration: RWBY Chibi
"Welcome back, this viewing is a more light hearted one compared to the previous few." Blank said and was greeted with a few sighs of relief from his audience.
"Oh good, less crippling depression is always fun." Yang nodded sagely and stroked an imaginary beard, eliciting a giggle or two from her team.
"Why are so many of these worlds so dark anyways?" Jaune asked.
"Hmm, most of them aren't actually that much darker than your own world, they have their own ups and downs. But conflict is more interesting, there's not much point to me devoting an entire viewing to say… a shopping trip or a dinner unless something interesting happens now is there?" Blank said.
"That's… fair. I guess." Ren said.
"So what are we watching today then?" Ruby asked.
"Another collection of shorts, this time starring Nora Valkyrie." Blank replied. He flickered once and a purple silencing cylinder appeared around Nora's seat before her cheering could deafen the audience.
"My ears thank you." Blake chimed in.
"Now, on with the show." The lights dimmed and the screen came to life shortly after.
A chibified Ruby stood alone in the kitchen, a massive cookie in hand and bright smile on her face as she prepared to chow down on one of her favourite snacks.
"Oh my god! She's adorable!" Yang squealed and immediately grabbed Ruby and pulled her into a bear hug.
"Gah! Yang! Can't! Breathe!" Ruby yelled out and started struggling against her sister's iron grip to no avail.
"Hey Ruby!" Before she could chow down on her cookie, Ruby was surprised by Nora's sudden call out and accidentally threw her cookie into the air.
"AAAAH! Oh, uh haha… hey Nora." Ruby chuckled sheepishly at her overreaction and gave Nora a small wave.
"NO! The precious!" Ruby wailed as the cookie went to waste. Any further complaining was put off as Yang intensified her hugging.
"Would you mind… grabbing those coffee beans for me?" Chibi Nora asked, staring hopefully at a bag of coffee beans on the table.
"Sure!" Ruby agreed easily enough and shifted the bag over to Nora.
"Alright, so why don't you just… pop those bad boys in the coffee maker?" Nora made another request that Ruby was happy enough to oblige.
"Uh, okay!"
Nora slid over to Ruby's side as she poured the beans into the coffee machine. Her eyes held a hungry gleam that Ruby didn't notice. "Looking good… now, how about a little water? Those beans look thirsty."
"Okay… Nora, what are you doing?" Ren narrowed his eyes at chibi Nora, his imminent disaster senses were tingling and he didn't like it in the least.
"Getting Ruby to make me a cup of coffee? Did I get banned from the coffee machine?" Nora offered with a shrug.
"That version of you, yes." Blank confirmed.
Ruby stared suspiciously at Nora's eager look, something was wrong here but she didn't what it could be. Still, she moved over to the tap to do as Nora asked, it was just adding some water after all.
"Ehhh, guess all that's left is to plug this sucker in and turn it on." Nora said.
Ruby's frown deepened but nonetheless turned on the coffee machine. If this was some kind of prank, she'd sic Yang on Nora for it.
"Mind pouring me a cup pal?" Nora requested next. Ruby hesitated slightly before attempting to follow through, for some strange reason, Nora seemed really determined to get her to make her a cup of coffee.
As she grabbed the handle of the pot of coffee, she was interrupted by Ren. "Wait."
"Ren? Nora's being weird." She admitted.
"Yep, Nora's being extra Norary today." Ruby said once she finally extricated herself from Yang. Several seats away from her, choking noises could be heard as it was Ren's turn to be strangled in an inescapable hug.
"Nora can't have caffeine. She has too much energy already. I told her she couldn't make coffee anymore so instead she's having you do it." Ren explained.
"Huh. Well… that's some bad logic Ren, this one's on you." Ruby said.
"This one!?" Ren raised his voice in slight alarm.
"Oh yeah, she drank all the coffee already." Ruby said.
"Huh!?" Ren gasped and looked over to Nora, the ginger haired girl was lying on the ground and convulsing, her eyes opened wide and staring into nothingness. An empty cup and the drained coffee pot lay next to her.
"Nora! Stay with us!" Ren shouted.
"We're losing her!" Ruby yelled and the camera zoomed in on Nora's eyes, going through and revealing another version of the scene with Ruby and Ren's places swapped.
And it didn't stop there, showing many more versions, one where their outfits had swapped, where Ruby had swapped out for Blake, Ren for Jaune, and even one where Roman and Neo were there.
Finally there was a blue flash and there was a new scene entirely. A slightly different Nora stood in a recording chamber next to a mic and with a script in hand. "Guys, why are you all looking at me funny? I'm totally fine! Seriously!"
"And cut, great job Sam."
"Uh, yeah, okay cool, let's take five and then we'll get back to it."
"Alright." The version of Nora named Sam picked up a cup of coffee and drank from it. immediately her eyes widened and pupils dilated, and the screen flashed again.
"Okay...? What was that? And why does my brain hurt?" Weiss asked and rubbed her temples to ease the sudden migraine that sprang up from nowhere.
"Was that some kind of hallucination?" Ozpin asked.
"No. That is another version of Nora Valkyrie who can travel the multiverse, although not to the same level of control as the Nora who mastered Kaleidoscope." Blank said.
"Oooh, so am I going to travel through the multiverse now?" Nora asked excitedly.
"Indeed, we'll be revisiting a few worlds that we've already seen." Blank chuckled and fell silent as the flash faded to reveal a familiar cathedral.
Jaune sidestepped a flaming fist that threatened to pound him flat. The beast's unholy screams tore at his ears as he raised Evelyn and fired on its head. When the retaliatory swings came in, Jaune backstepped away again. The transformed Lionheart reared up and roared at the top of its lungs, not a trace of humanity to be found in it.
"Oh, what the hell!? I thought this was supposed to be lighter! Why are we back in this twisted world!?" Roman recoiled in shock as recognized the unsightly beast and wanted absolutely nothing to do with the sheer disgustingness of this world again. The rest of the audience was in full agreement.
"Relax, things won't be as disturbing as that viewing." Blank reassured.
"Yeah? I remember you saying something similar about ol Jimmy, excuse me if I don't really believe you on this." Qrow replied.
"What happened to me?" Ironwood asked, not having been around for that viewing.
"You don't want to know." Goodwitch sighed out and shook her head, trying to erase that disgusting abomination from her memories.
"It can't have been that bad." Winter said with a frown.
"Sister, however bad you're imagining it right now, it's at least ten times worse." Weiss replied.
Jaune dodged again and struck with the Threaded Cane in whip mode, the serrated whip tearing through Lionheart's reinforced hide and sending a wave of burning lava blood everywhere. The flaming cleric beast roared and lashed out with a savage backhand, catching Jaune off guard and sending him flying.
Crashing into a heap, Jaune sprung back up and started sprinting away when Lionheart rushed him, flaming limbs swinging in a wide reach to try and grab him. Taking pot shots with his pistol wherever he could, Jaune managed to put enough distance between them to inject a blood vial into himself and start healing.
Exhaling in relief as the pain faded away. The hunter was about to reengage his prey when he felt a warping in the universe he'd come to associate with incoming otherworldly visitors.
"Oh, here comes Nora!" Nora cheered for herself.
"Oh, that is one big boy. Heheheh, Nora smash!" Chibi Nora popped out of thin air next to the cleric beast, Magnhild in hand. Without waiting for a sign, she rushed in hammer swinging, slamming it into Lionheart's legs repeatedly with all the force she could muster.
Not expecting the sudden assault that came out of nowhere, Lionheart took the flurry of blows without being able to brace himself and his legs were battered into oblivion. The cleric beast collapsed when its legs were no longer able to hold up its massive bulk and Nora continued wailing on it.
"Ahhh…" Jaune raised a finger as Nora's rampage failed to cease, the pint-sized powerhouse didn't even appear to need to stop for breath.
"Yeah! Kick his ass! Break some legs!" Nora cheered again.
"Nora, calm down." Ren chided as he regained consciousness after being hugged into a blackout.
Jaune's finger lowered as Lionheart's lower body gave up the fight, crumbling under the relentless onslaught. Lionheart screamed in pain as his upper torso detached from his legs completely, everything from waist down melting into a pool of lava blood as more continued spilling from the upper torso.
Chibi Nora backed away, an expression of disgust visible on her face. "Eww… that's disgusting."
She jumped away when Lionheart swung at her with his oversized arm. "Gah, ewww… don't come anywhere near me."
"Um, excuse me, but uh I can handle it from her-" Jaune's mouth clicked shut when Magnhild mechashifted into its grenade launcher mode and Nora gave the drum a spin.
"This is what real firepower looks like!" Chibi Nora cackled and opened fire, launching multiple high explosives towards the crippled Lionheart. The transformed hunter never had a prayer, crippled and unable to dodge, the grenades hit their mark and exploded.
As the smoke was clearing, Jaune felt the rush of blood echoes, indicating that Lionheart had been put down for good. "Okay… that was… unexpected."
"What a very Nora way of handling things." Jaune sighed as chibi Nora continued laughing at her success.
"I'd be more worried if she tried talking sense into it." Pyrrha said with a shrug.
"Eh, at least she didn't try riding it." Ren offered.
"I'm the best! I'm the… oh my god, I forgot to turn it into a Noramobile!" Nora stopped cheering and started weeping at wasted opportunities, an action mirrored by her chibi counterpart.
"Um, it's probably for the best? It was on fire." Jaune awkwardly comforted, nothing in his living or hunter's dream assisted experience had ever taught him how to deal with a situation like this.
"I guess… if only it was covered in lightning, than I could ride it and grow stronger by the second. Mwhahahahah!" Depression gone and replaced with more maniacal cackling. Jaune coughed and decided it was probably for the best he didn't mention the existence of darkbeasts.
"Right, uh. So, how did you get here? I don't recall using a bell to summon help." Jaune asked.
"I drank a cup of coffee." Nora said simply, getting Jaune to blink in surprise.
"Must have been some coffee. Well, Lionheart's uh… blown to pieces now, so that's that? You have any coffee on you to return?"
"Oooh… I'm out of coffee again." Nora's cackling died off and she slumped over in disappointment.
"Right, I don't have coffee on me, but I should have something that will send you back." Jaune said and pulled out a small pistol, unlike the normal guns used to fight the beasts, this one didn't fire regular bullets, only blanks.
"Silencing blank loaded and ready, thanks for the assist, I got it from here. Safe journey home." Jaune raised the pistol in the air and fired, immediately, light began shimmering around Nora as she started to fade from his world.
"Oh, bye Jaune-Jaune!" Nora waved goodbye as she disappeared completely.
"Goodbye to you too Nora. And you all as well." Jaune nodded to the screen and a blue flash signalled the end of that viewing.
"Ugh, it will never not creep me out when he does that." Mercury faux shivered at the casual fourth wall break.
"So that one takes place after the uh Orphan thing was killed right?" Jaune asked.
"Indeed, this one happens a short time into that world's future. That version of you is busy tying up loose ends before heading for the final confrontation." Blank answered.
"So which world's next?" Ruby asked.
"Next up, the one with the drunk Jaune Arc." Blank said.
Jaune slammed his head against his desk and released a long-suffering sigh. Raising his head up and smashing it down again and again repeatedly, he cursed the evil known as alcohol for landing him in this mess.
Lifting his head up again, bloodshot eyes stared at the massive pile of paperwork on the table, he swore the stack was growing every time he looked away. Muted sobs came from the paperwork slave as he slammed his head down against the hardwood desk again.
"Why? Why me!? What did I do to deserve this!?"
"Got drunk, became a phantom thief, caused property damage, hijacked an Atlas battleship and took control of a cult, am I missing anything?" Yang listed off, looking to her team for answers.
"He stabbed Cinder to death and let uncle Qrow make Mercury and Emerald walk the plank." Ruby added in, ignoring Blake and Roman's protest of 'the White Fang isn't a cult'.
"What?" Cinder's group, the Atlesians and Jaune said at the same time with varying degrees of shock and horror. There was a moment of silence before the questions started flying.
"Cult? I'm a cult leader!?"
"Hijacked a battleship!? Why!? HOW!?"
"What do you mean stabbed to death!?"
"Walk the plank? What is he? Some kind of pirate?"
"Long story short, this Jaune Arc got very drunk, took control of the White Fang and became a sky pirate to upstage Roman Torchwick. Things escalated from there." Blank's answer was greeted by a whole host of incredulous stares.
There was a knock on the door and a masked faunus carrying a new stack of papers entered. "Morning boss, I have the documents for the SDC settlement here. You just need to read through and sign them when you're done, just a few more class action law suits and they're finished for good! I must say boss, suing Jacques Schnee's pants off is the best idea you've ever had."
"Thank. You. Perry. Just leave the… paperwork… on my desk." Jaune said through gritted teeth, doing his best to not glare at the faunus as though he just murdered his first born. Shooting the messenger wouldn't erase the stacks and stack of paperwork.
Suing the SDC was the worst idea he ever had. The sheer amount of paperwork it dumped in his lap was astounding, and this was on top of all of his other duties as commander of the Vale White Fang. Sienna Khan was still pushing for him to appoint a successor and head for one of the other kingdoms to work his magic there. At the same time, General Ironwood was still trying to recruit him for the Atlas military so his insane plans wouldn't be at Atlas's expense anymore.
Then there was Ozpin. To be fair, the headmaster hadn't done anything to contribute to his headache but Jaune had the sneaking suspicion that his headmaster was laughing at his misfortune behind his back. Every time they met, Ozpin would always have that twinkle in his eyes and the infernal half-smile as he sipped from his mug that just irked Jaune to no end.
"For the record, I'm pretty sure the other Ozpin isn't laughing at that Jaune Arc, we just know how to appreciate someone else being suckered into a position they never wanted." Ozpin said and lowered his mug, a twinkle in his eye and a half-smile on display.
"I don't follow headmaster." Pyrrha said.
"It's simple. I never wanted to be headmaster of Beacon. The amount of paperwork I have to deal with is insane and there was a time I swore I'd never do it." Ozpin admitted. Starting the academies was his idea yes, but he wanted nothing to do with the actual running. There were supposed to be four of his confidants running the schools, not three plus himself.
"You didn't want to be headmaster? I didn't know that." Qrow admitted.
"It was long before your time of course. Suffice to say, I got suckered into the position. It's ancient history now though, the paperwork situation has improved greatly." Ozpin said cheerfully.
"Gee. I wonder why." Glynda Goodwitch's dry tone was dripping with sarcasm as she glared at her boss. It didn't take a genius to figure out how Ozpin made his paperwork problem disappear.
"One of the most important duties a leader must learn is how to delegate work. Otherwise, they end up buried in it like that version of Mr Arc." Ozpin elaborated, missing Goodwitch's gnashing teeth and twitching eyebrow.
"You okay boss, you look tired." Perry said as he noticed Jaune's eyebags.
"Perry. I like you. Out of all my minions, I like you the most. Don't make me get Qrow to walk you off the plank." Jaune said in a completely even tone, but his eyes were spitting fire, if looks could kill, half his office would be a burning hellscape now.
"I uh, ye look at the time. I have to go uh iron my dog." Perry dumped the stack of documents on the table and hastily made himself scarce.
"I'm being used as a threat? That's just sad and depressing." Qrow muttered.
"Why? It's awesome!" Yang said.
"Not really. Reminds me of my Beacon days. Your dad would always use me as a threat to others, 'do this, do that, don't make me get Qrow to stand outside your dorm at night.' It's depressing to be used as a bad luck charm to threaten others." Qrow sighed.
"It worked! Just remember how many prank wars we won." Taiyang replied, having a more rosy view of those events than Qrow.
Jaune sighed and was about to reach for the next set of papers so he could hopefully finish some time this year when there was a popping sound.
"What the?" Jaune looked around for the source of the noise but found nothing, until the source greeted him. Looking down to his side, there was a tiny version of his teammate waving at him.
"Jaune-Jaune, whatcha doing?" Chibi Nora greeted and Jaune simply stared at her for a moment before sighing.
"Oh, it's finally happening. I'm so tired I'm actually hallucinating now."
"What? I'm really here fearless leader." Nora protested.
"Sure you are. You're just a figment of my imagination my tired brain cooked up because I'm just so tired." Jaune said, his bloodshot eyes staring at chibi Nora with a haunted look in them.
"Meh. Chin up fearless leader! We just need to get your blood pumping, maybe some exercise." Nora punched the air several times to try and get Jaune to wake up a bit.
"Can't. No energy left." Jaune said.
"Huh. I got it! You, need, coffee!" Nora pointed one finger at Jaune and smiled brightly, before rushing over to the coffee machine Oobleck had gifted him for 'effortstofightracismandbringequality ' in the corner.
"This is going to go horribly wrong for other me isn't it?" Jaune said in trepidation.
"Horribly wrong is a matter of perspective. To others, it's the best thing possible." Blank replied.
"But to Jaune Arc?" Jaune asked.
"Your worst nightmare come to life." Blank said.
Jaune stared at the mug chibi Nora handed to him. "Huh, so my imagination can make me coffee now. Can it make my paperwork go away?"
Jaune glared at the stacks and stacks of papers but they didn't spontaneously combust or vanish into thin air. Just a chibi Nora standing there waiting patiently for him to drink his coffee while waiting for her own mug to cool.
Jaune shrugged and drank deeply from his mug, he'd need all the caffeine he could get to stay awake and power through his work. He coughed as a familiar burning feeling went down his throat. "Oh my god! Grah! What is in this thing!?"
"Meh, you look like you could use a pick me up so I added the energy drink I found in the cupboard to yours. See, it's working already, you're already fully awake. Up and at em Jaune-Jaune!" Nora pumped a fist into the air as Jaune turned and stared at the aforementioned cupboard.
A familiar bottle was there. One given to him by Sun a while back, half as a joke and half as an apology. And now the bottle was also half empty. As the Vacuon whiskey mixed into the coffee started to take effect and his vision began to swim, he saw Nora drain her mug, convulse and then disappear in a pop.
As the world faded to black, Jaune cursed his abysmally low alcohol tolerance. 'Aw shit, here we go again.'
When he woke up an indeterminate amount of time later, dressed in an expensive suit he didn't remember buying and in an office that was most definitely not his own, not even the pounding headache could keep the rising sense of dread down.
His eyes snapped to the door as there was a knock on it. When it opened, Dr Pietro Polendina stepped through, supported by his daughter Penny. Jaune's heart was in his throat as he waited for the man to confirm or deny his worst fears.
"Ah, good morning, I'm so glad you managed to find time to see me today. These old bones aren't what they used to be I'm afraid so I'll have to keep this brief." Dr Polendina said with a small chuckle.
"I must admit when you came to me with the idea to develop mechs and robots specially for mining dust to reduce mining accidents, I was a little sceptical. But I've read through the proposal you sent me and you've convinced me. You've got my support and I look forward to working with you, councilman Arc."
Jaune's face lost all colour as the words echoed inside his head. In the end, he did the only thing he could. Scream at the top of his lungs. "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
The short ended mid scream, cutting to black with a perfect shot of Jaune's horrified expression.
"He's moving up in the world again. Man, I wish I could do that when I get drunk." Qrow mused.
"Me too. I'm tired of digging you out of the trash." Taiyang agreed wholeheartedly.
"That only happened four times!" Qrow protested.
"That's four times too many!" Taiyang shot back, the girls of the Rose-Xiao Long-Branwen family merely shared a laugh at the bickering.
"So which world is next?" Ren asked Blank.
"Next up, the one about Torchwick's nephew." Blank said.
"Oh, one of my favourite versions of the kid. This oughta be good, and no one eating my weapon this time." Torchwick said and glared at Neo, his partner in crime merely shrugged and licked her lips unrepentantly.
"Torchwick has a nephew?" Emerald asked in surprise.
"In this world, Jaune Arc is Roman Torchwick's nephew and he works with the three of you, although your methods are markedly different." Blank said.
"Different?" Cinder raised an eyebrow.
"You'll see."
Jaune snuck through the mansion's defences easily enough with the optical camouflage his armour came with. Field work really wasn't his forte but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. This mission was too important to hand off to anyone else and his uncle plus Neo were busy elsewhere.
Junior didn't have eyes here and if he didn't, Jaune's own fledgling network sure as hell wouldn't either. And that unfortunately meant donning the suit stolen from the council and doing the legwork himself.
Still, Jaune had to hand it to the former councilman, he at least had the presence of mind to set up backup residences out in the wilds before councilwoman Fall moved in to clean house.
"Councilwoman Fall? Hmm… it does have a nice ring to it." Cinder said as she rolled the words around in her mouth and found that she liked them a lot.
"You're joking, she took over the council and purged the old one!?" Ironwood said in shock.
"She won the election fair and square on a promise to improve the lives of the people and weed out corruption wherever it may lurk. That she's made good on her promises by tearing apart the old council and exposing their misdeeds has made her a very popular woman." Blank said.
"Huh, that's uh, not something you hear every day." Mercury admitted.
"So what is Jaune doing all the way out here?" Blake asked.
"Not all of the councillors were incompetent or blind, some could see the writing on the wall and made preparations to vanish and consolidate power from the shadows. Jaune Arc is here to ensure that doesn't come to pass." Blank said.
The stealth systems of the 5NK3 tactical espionage suit made the anti-intruder defences installed in the mansion laughably worthless as Jaune simply strolled through them and made his way to the Ex-councilman Nook's private office.
Standing outside the room and eavesdropping, he could make out his target speaking on the scroll to someone else, probably another one of his victims or beleaguered underlings. And the suit's sensors indicated there were two others in the room with him.
"Listen. Listen to me, I am so tired of your excuses. And your family does not matter to me. I will skin you alive in front of them if I don't get my payment this week. And then I burn your house down with all of you inside it, okay? Have a nice day, tell your wife and kids I said hi, I gotta go." Nook said as though he was discussing the weather.
"Wow, just wow." Mercury whistled and gave a round of applause.
"Just like that version of Malachite we saw." Winter muttered.
"And a guy like that was a councilman?" Ironwood said in disbelief.
"Indeed, the level of corruption in that world is great enough that an agent of Salem is the lesser evil and given Cinder Fall's actions thus far, an improvement actually." Blank said.
"I'm hearing and seeing it, still working on the believing part." Qrow said drily.
"Sorry about that, how are you doing Mr shopkeep, that loan of yours is already due right?"
"…"
"Yes, yes, business hasn't been good recently for all of us. But my boys are telling me something weird, see, they're saying I haven't got your lien yet. Now I'm telling them that must be some kind of mistake, you're smart enough to know to pay me on time, right?"
"…"
"Is… is that my problem? I don't see how you not being able to sell enough bowls of noodles is my problem."
"…"
"A month of delayed payment? Did I not grant you a loan to build your shop and house? Pay for your upgrades, greenlight your stall? Did I not do that for you? The loans are a promise, a promise that you made to pay me back. Just because I'm not on the council anymore doesn't mean that promise isn't valid."
"…"
"Sure, I'll give you another month, but I'll need something from you. Which hand do you mainly use to cook your noodles?"
"…"
"Oh, your left is it? Fine, I want you to break his right hand."
"…!"
And Jaune had heard enough. Throwing open the door with one hand and raising a silenced pistol with the other, Jaune was greeted with three surprised stares. The obese councilman in the back, a terrified old shopkeeper and a random thug in a face mask.
A two round burst and spray of blood later, it was two horrified stares instead of three surprised ones. "Sit down! Ex-councilman Nook. You, shopkeep, get out of here, consider your debt wiped clean."
"…!" The grateful yet terrified shopkeep bowed profusely and made a break for the door once Jaune was out of the way.
"Good, it's leg breaking time." Nora said, eager to see the corrupt former councilman get his comeuppance.
"Nora, I'm sure Jaune won't be breaking anyone's legs today." Pyrrha said.
"Yeah, this one looks more like he'll just shoot the guy." Mercury chimed in, getting the champion to glare at him.
"Well, you're both right, it is leg breaking time, just not by Jaune Arc."
"You are a bloody pain in the ass to track down you know that? Twelve empty decoy safehouses in the middle of nowhere. Twice, my boys almost caught you, but you gave em the slip." Jaune smirked as Nook backed away.
"If you want something done right, do it yourself right? I have questions about your remaining pals in hiding, and you better have answers."
"Y-you can't do this! Do you know who you're messing with!?" Nook sputtered out in a mock show of bravado.
"Yeah, a dead man." Jaune said and started playing with his yoyo, making a show of garrotting an invisible victim.
"Man, I wish I had a son like that, I'd be the happiest man aliv-GAH! Neo! What was that for!?" Roman yelped and clutched at his foot after Neo stomped on it with all her strength.
"I'm n-not telling you anything!" Nook cast his eyes about his office, searching for something that would get him out of the situation. His search was interrupted when there was a burst of light and chibi Nora appeared, Magnhild in hand.
"Hmm? Where am-ah Jaune, what's up?" Nora greeted Jaune, the professional criminal simply stared at her, mute from the surprise.
"Hmm? Who's this? A bad guy?" Nora said and pointed Magnhild at the ex-councilman.
"Yes? Yes. A really bad guy indeed." Jaune agreed.
"Oooh… can I break his legs?"
"Yeah sure why not, he doesn't need them, he's got a wheelie chair I can push him around on." Jaune agreed after a moment to think.
"W-wait! Aren't you supposed to ask me questions first!?" Nook yelled out.
"I tried, but you said you weren't going to answer any of them. Nothing I can do now but get to the leg breaking. Go on uh… small Nora, do your thing."
"Yes! Hammer time! Nora smash!" Nora raised Magnhild in the air and brought it down on Nook's right kneecap, shattering it in one hit and causing him to start screaming.
"Ahh nothing like beating up bad guys to start the day. Oh, coffee yay!" Nora picked up a mug of steaming black gold and started drinking from it.
"Start the day? It's close to midnight. I'm not sure this is the best time for coffee and… she's gone." Jaune blinked as Nora vanished in another burst of light. Now only two of them were left in the room.
"I wanted to break both your legs but you got off with just one, now let's try this again. I wanna know about ya pals. Where are they hiding and who else is working with them." Jaune grinned and advanced on the doomed ex-councilman as the short ended.
"Umhmm, beating up bad guys is the best way to start the day, next to Renny's pancakes of course." Nora nodded sagely, ignoring her team's heavy sighs.
"One day, we'll get you into therapy." Jaune said in a resigned tone.
"Violence isn't always the answer Nora." Ren chided.
"You're right." Nora agreed.
"I am?" Ren blinked.
"he is?" Jaune and Pyrrha said at the same time.
"Yep! Violence is the question." Nora said.
"And the answer is yes!" Yang and Nora chorused together, exchanging a high five afterwards. The groan from the rest of the audience was audible. Blank simply chuckled as the next short started playing.
"Good afternoon class, I'm Dr Arc, your professor, welcome to explosives 101." Captain Jaune Arc of Atlas greeted the students of Beacon in his class.
"Tch, you a professor? What kind of joke is this?" Cardin Winchester mocked, getting some laughter from those who didn't know Jaune. Those who did were completely silent, there were easier ways of self-flagellation than insulting Jaune to his face and Cardin was about to learn things the hard way.
"Not a full-time staff of Beacon it's true, I'm here on attachment from the Atlas military. Got my doctorate in dust engineering and I've been an active huntsman for over a year now. Sure, I'm not as experienced as the other teachers in Beacon, but I'm sure I have something to offer." Jaune said, not allowing his annoyance to show.
"You an active huntsman? What a joke, I could kick your ass without even breaking a sweat." Cardin jeered and his team joined in.
"Is that so? Care to put your theory to the test?" Jaune challenged.
"Come on down to the field then." Cardin rolled his eyes and gave his team a cocky smirk, expecting an easy walkover.
"Oh, it's bomberman Jaune. This is gonna be good." Yang rubbed her hands together and cackled along with Nora.
"Cardin's dead." Weiss said simply.
"He did ask for it." Blake replied.
"And bomberman makes his first kill in Beacon. Ten lien says Winchester goes down in ten seconds." Yang said to Weiss, Blake and Ruby.
"No bet, it's a given." Blake said and started reading her book again, not at all interested in the imminent one-sided beatdown.
"Meh, you're no fun kitty cat." Yang complained and slumped over to watch the show.
Down on the field, Cardin still had no idea what he was dealing with, hefting his mace with one hand and giving it a few test swings. "Where's your weapon doc?"
"I won't need Ascalon for this. I have everything I need on me." Jaune replied.
"Tch, your funeral. This will be over in a flash."
"Yes, yes it will. We'll begin on your move, come whenever you're ready." Jaune agreed and made a 'come here' motion with his left hand.
Carding growled and charged in swinging. The next thing he knew, the world was white with pain.
Jaune had stepped into his reach the instant he raised his arm for a swing. In his right hand, the Atlas specialist held a simple taser… and promptly jabbed it into Cardin's crotch… and continued pushing through with the attack even when the sucker folded in on himself.
Gasps and horrified whispering filled the classroom as the males winced and shifted their legs together in phantom pain. Jaune dusted himself off and returned the taser to his pocket while Carding rolled on the floor in a fetal position screaming his lungs out.
"God damn, what the hell happened to nothing below the belt!?" Mercury winced and crossed his legs, most of the males in the audience also shifting uncomfortably.
"I don't know, but I'm taking notes." Emerald grinned and committed the sight to memory, it'd make for a useful illusion if nothing else, and maybe one day she'd get to do it for real when Mercury was being particularly annoying.
"Woah, that has to be the fastest take down in… ever I think. How fast was that?" Ruby said in slight awe.
"2.34 seconds from Winchester's first move. Very impressive. Very underhanded." Ozpin said.
"Meh, I think he did a great job." Qrow said.
"Of course you'd think that. Come to think of it, you trained that version of the kid didn't you, did your counterpart have something to do with that?" Summer asked.
"Indeed. One of the first things that Qrow Branwen taught Jaune Arc was to never give his opponents a fair fight because they won't either. If that means tasing them in the groin, then so be it. Needless to say, Jaune Arc took the advice literally and used it in his very first spar." Blank said.
"Jaune, I take back every complaint I ever had about you not being trained before this." Weiss said, glad that her version of Jaune wasn't anywhere this dedicated to victory.
"Thanks? I think?" Jaune said, mind still frazzled about his counterpart's sheer underhandedness.
"Normally, the match ends here. But I'm here to impart some life lessons to you all too, out in the real world, battles don't end when one side has their aura in the red. When your enemies are Grimm or dangerous criminals, they won't stop until you're dead and stopping your own attack because you're afraid of causing permanent harm to your opponents is a dangerous mentality. It will get you killed." Jaune said and pulled out a grenade.
"I'm the bad guy who'll do anything to win. Winchester underestimated me and now he's on the ground for me to finish off." Jaune primed the grenade and let it fall next to Cardin before jumping away.
The explosive went off as several horrified screams came from the students, not expecting to see one of their teachers straight up execute a student for underestimating them. When the dust settled, Cardin was still there although screaming and clawing at his flesh.
"Very low grade and yield fire and lightning dust grenade, no killing power. But put together, makes for an incredible skin irritant. In other words, super itching powder." Jaune smirked evilly as the students gulped.
"As Winchester here so kindly volunteered to demonstrate, not all explosives have to cause a big boom. Explosives are a tool and it is up to the user to pick the right one for the right job, case in point, this itching powder explosive may look and sound like a joke, but it is a very effective riot control weapon, especially since it works against targets who still have aura." Jaune said and the students gulped again, noticing Cardin's condition and the lack of his aura breaking. They couldn't help but wonder what else Dr Arc had in his arsenal of tricks.
"Itching powder as an effective weapon… only a truly twisted mind would be able to come up with something like that and make it work." Mercury started clapping again, no sarcasm this time, just plain awe.
Jaune was about to continue speaking when an explosion occurred next to the downed Cardin, tossing him into a wall and rendering him mercifully unconscious. "Okay? That wasn't one of mine."
Chibi Nora stepped out from the smoke and waved it away coughing. "Why is there so much smoke?"
"Nora? What happened to you? Why are you… tiny?" Jaune said as whispering spread throughout the classroom.
"I'm not tiny fearless leader, you're just tall." Nora shot back.
"Fearless leader? What? I'm not your leader." Jaune said in confusion.
"Of course you are, fearless leader is fearless leader. Anyways, what are we doing?"
"I'm holding a class on explosives?" Jaune said.
"Oooh… big boom time. So I got these grenades for Magnhild here…" Nora displayed some of her ammunition and the two of them descended into their own world of bombs and explosions and bigger and better booms, leaving the students to watch on in a mix of horror and disbelief as there were now evidently two explosive nuts who existed on the same wavelength.
The mix transitioned into pure horror when Jaune started upgrading chibi Nora's arsenal on the spot. Field testing them on several of Professor Port's captured Grimm led to bouts of insane laughter from the both of them. Several of the students beginning to pray they weren't about to witness the end of the world as things wouldn't stop exploding.
"Right, I remember now. I have a drinking problem in this world. Nice to know what caused it." Ren said as he stared at the screen. Ren sighed and rubbed his eyes, holding back the urge to go into a full-on nervous breakdown. Jaune and Pyrrha weren't in much better states.
Nora though. Nora was being Nora.
"And that's everything you should need. Coffee will help get you back right? Then here you go, farewell fellow walker of the path." Jaune handed chibi Nora a thermos of coffee that the ginger started chugging immediately. Once she was done, Nora vibrated in place before vanishing in another explosion.
"Making explosions with coffee… hmmm now there's an idea. No one ever suspects the coffee." Jaune mused to himself before filing the idea away for further research. He still had a class to teach, and... heh several of his students were on their knees praying.
"I am a true prophet." Jaune hummed to himself, happy with having converted several students to the church of the bomb without even trying. And with that, the screen faded to black.
"Coffee bombs? That's a horrifying thought." Ozpin said, about to sip from his mug before thinking better of it.
"Got a point though, we don't check our food and drink for poison often enough even when we're stuck in a shadow war." Qrow admitted and everyone had to agree to that. Not even Cinder's group was paranoid enough to check everything for poison or sabotage.
"One last short to go through." Blank announced.
"Salem is a goddess! You! Are! Nothing!" Tyrian roared as he swung his armblades at his opponent. Jaune didn't even bother dodging, taking the hits head on and letting Tyrian try to use his semblance to tear a gap in his aura to deliver a fatal hit.
It didn't work, Jaune had layered his aura over himself multiple times, every time Tyrian tore through one, another was waiting. And when he tried going after that, the first shield layer was already regenerating.
"She is most assuredly not. And are you quite done? This is getting boring." Jaune yawned as Tyrian switched to shooting at him point blank, the bullets bouncing off harmlessly.
"Fine, if you can't take a hint, I'll end this now. Have a date with Pyr later that I don't want to be late for. Jaune said and in one swift motion, he'd drawn Excalibur and thrust it straight through Tyrian's heart busting through the faunus's aura instantly.
The scorpion faunus gasped and clawed at the weapon embeded in his chest. Jaune leaned in close so he could watch the light in the assassin's eyes die out. "Where is your goddess now?"
No answer came, Tyrian had already gone limp. Jaune lowered Excalibur and allowed the corpse to slide off the end of the blade, hitting the ground with a thud. "Nowhere, that's where."
"He killed Tyrian just like that?" Cinder blinked in surprise, she didn't like the man, but she could at least respect his strength. For a Jaune Arc to end him so easily…
"Oh, it's the King Jaune timeline this time." Pyrrha said, blushing slightly at the mention of a date.
"Hmm, this is the one with the kaleidoscope, right? I ran into a Nora from this world in the testing range, she was the one who gave me the Noramobile blueprints and the thing about weaponised coffee… no, did she already know this was going to happen?" Jaune's eyes widened as he recalled that meeting.
"Yes, yes she did. Hiya everyone." A second Nora greeted from her seat at the back of the theatre.
"Nora!? When did you get there?" Jaune asked.
"Oh you know, sometimeish." Kaleido Nora waved her hands in a non-committal manner.
"Were you watching us?" Ruby asked.
"I'm always watching, and so are they." Nora pointed at the screen.
"Who's they?" Yang asked in confusion, unable to see the screen Nora was pointing at.
"Oh don't worry about it. You don't have enough eyes on the ins… no what did Renny say it was again? Oh yeah, you don't have enough insight to see the readers, it's fine, just go back to watching, shoo shoo, lemme enjoy my pancakes." Kaleido Nora waved them off and started snacking on a plate of pancakes that magically appeared in front of her.
As Jaune was about to leave, there was a small poof and chibi Nora appeared in front of him. "Nora? Why are… is this another one of those interdimensional things again?"
"Yep!"
"Can you deal with this?"
"Not yet!"
"Fine. So… you're a Nora from another world, right?" Jaune asked the chibi version of his teammate.
"I think so, I've seen quite a few worlds already and this doesn't feel like a dream." Chibi Nora said.
"Hmm… I got time to kill, anything you want to do?" Jaune asked.
"I want to ride a Noramobile." She said easily, all they'd need to do was find a Grimm and she'd take it from there.
"Nora! Can you send Pete please?" Jaune called out.
"Sure thing fearless leader!" Kaleido Nora snapped her fingers and a heavily modified cyborg Deathstalker appeared next to Jaune and chibi Nora.
The Deathstalker screeched and chittered before bowing down to allow Jaune and Nora to board. Jaune doing so as if this was a commonplace thing to do and Nora with all the excitement of a kid tearing open his Christmas presents.
*So which group of fuckers we blowing up today? Grimm or bandits?*
"Heard there's an ancient Geist lurking around here somewhere possessing a massive golem body, let's go test out your new disintegrators, shall we?" Jaune gave Pete a small pet and the Grimm rumbled forwards, in search of its unlucky targets.
"This… how is this possible? This is beyond what that Merlot managed to do." Cinder sputtered out as she stared at the living superweapon that used to be a simple Deathstalker.
"Don't question it, it's easier if you just accept some things. Think too much and your brain will fry." Kaleido Nora said.
Chibi Nora was having the time of her life as the Noramobile blasted away at the Grimm hordes. They didn't find just one Geist, they found a whole convention of Grimm. Pete's weapons unloaded on the Grimm, sowing death and destruction among their ranks.
Nora cheered as she added to the mayhem with her own upgraded grenades, Magnhild spewing death and destruction wherever she aimed.
Jaune smiled softly and allowed Nora to have her fun, simply using his semblance to buff them all to the point where they wouldn't even feel pain from direct hits. Nevermore quills bounced right off the invisible barrier as Nora filled the heavens with explosions next.
"Well, think it's about time to call it a day. Bye other friends, bye Blank." Kaleido Nora waved and vanished, returning to her home world.
"Heheheh… bye Nora." Blank chuckled and returned the farewell.
Once the last of the Grimm were ashes in the wind. Kaleido Nora popped up next to her chibi version.
"Whoa, there's another me here." Chibi Nora whispered and started poking at her counterpart, testing if she was real.
"Yep, I'm here to get you back home. Jaune, you can ride Pete the rest of the way back. I already told Pyrrha and Ren you're on your way back." Nora gave a small wave before grabbing her chibi version and disappearing.
Jaune simply nodded and directed Pete in the direction of home and the short came to an end.
The screen came back to life shortly after, showing chibi Nora back in the chibiverse and slowly waking up from her coffee induced coma.
"Ohhh… thank goodness! That was crazy! I travelled through a bunch of parallel universes, it was so weird. Did you guys see any of that?" Nora spread her arms out and asked. Ruby and Ren exchanged a glance before turning back to Nora.
"Nope, that does sound pretty crazy though." Ren said… but it was Ruby's voice coming out of his mouth.
Then Zwei walked over and started speaking too. "You doing okay Nora?"
Chibi Nora stared at the talking corgi and groaned, looks like she wasn't home yet. Oh well, nothing another pot of coffee couldn't fix. And with that, the viewing came to an end.
"That's all folks, go refresh yourselves, next viewing will be ready shortly." Blank said and his audience got up to leave.
"That ending was truly bizarre. But still… traveling to parallel universes." Cinder mused to herself quietly, wondering which versions of her had achieved her destiny. Then again, it didn't matter, the only thing that did was that she arrived at her own.
Author's notes: Thanks for reading. Here's another experimental chapter, revisiting some of my older more original flavour works. Hope you enjoyed it. So, confession time, lots of request to do Doom Eternal, and I will be doing a chapter on it eventually. It's just I'm too busy writing this and Atlas Arc to actually play the game, so yeah... In other news, I might be doing a small 4 chapter fic on Team ALBA covering their individual origins in the future since I'm not really planning to expand into that world. Merlot is too OP and I have no idea how to actually have him be beaten.
