Goodbyes
This time Sarevok could sense that Mei wanted him to take the lead. It was shimmering in her eyes, in the way she sought to be overpowered by his massive bulk. So Sarevok obliged, cupping her delicate form in his hands, entering her with great deliberation, letting her feel how strong he was. She bucked against him, her thighs deliciously gripping his sides. Afterwards Sarevok rolled on his back and still held her, leaving her panting and lying on top of him.
- "Sarevok..." she murmured and kept watching him under half-closed lids like a content beast. "I think I am pregnant."
Sarevok's face trembled.
- "It is said that sometimes women have an intuition of such a thing," he said. "It is just... what I am about to do, makes it less of a good news."
- "I know." Mei's voice trembled. "I do not want to lose you regardless... I do not want to tell my child that her father..." she could not go on.
- "Mei..." he stroked her back, "it was my true belief that I could never be a father now... even though I grew to dream of it. I was content to look after Umikaze, and saving a child from the hands of evil predators meant a lot to me. But were I to be a regular father... with a family, a house of my own...it would please me more than anything I could think of. I am a man with a lot of restlessness, a man who does not always know his own self... but I know this. I love you, saiai of mine... and for that alone I would want to return."
- "A woman in me - the woman who has found her true love after a lot of waiting - screams for you not to go, to just run from the reality of this, to mountains, to the faraway spheres where reality shimmers and identities change..." Mei sighed. "But that is not your way, is it. Never was. Never will be. The pain is there, the old evil burning... and for you, peace rests in committing a deed of the same magnitude. So there is no choice but to draw your blade and take the passage no-one can follow you through."
She was crying now, not bothering trying to be brave anymore.
Sarevok felt his heart bursting in his chest. It felt difficult - after finding this to leave it all for a dangerous battle and almost certain demise. But a part of him was relieved - now he would get to do something no-one could be asked to do, and even if it would be his damnation, he would finally be rid of the gnawing guilt, his life would finally draw a purposeful circle. Poor Mei though... her love was true, it was a raw, palpable force joining his.
- "If..." Mei could not say aloud what both of them were thinking, "if... well... I will tell her that her father was the bravest bushi ever alive, and the noblest soul... and that I will love him forever and always. Jinmirai. Tsuneni." It was as if she whispered the last words to herself, or perhaps to the unborn child.
- "I love it when you speak your native tongue, Mei," Sarevok said. "It is so beautiful in my ears, like every word a poem."
They tried to sleep, but could not. They just held each other tight, savoring the scent and the memory of the curves of the other one bent against themselves, painfully aware that this might be the last time they were able to do this. When the morning sun crept up from the horizon, its rays glittering on the sea waves, they stood up and shared mournful glances. Without another word they gathered their things and started to look for the others. It seemed they hadn't slept well either, for everyone was already up and ready for breakfast.
Peri was not holding up too good. She didn't cry anymore, but her eyes were red-rimmed and stood like dull marbles in their sockets, just staring ahead. Her steps were wooden and stiff, and her hands trembled.
- "Sar... I don't do goodbyes well," she said, her voice as hollow as her gaze. "Especially not when my crazy brother is..." she lost the modicum of control she had gathered and started to sob inconsolably again.
- "Mommy?" Umikaze said, squeezing her hand, looking sadly at Sarevok.
- "Yes, kiddo... Sarry... go then if you must and know that I love you so much... and kick its ass and come back to us!"
She started to wail now, and Yukemori picked Umikaze up, trying to comfort Peri in vain. She would not look at Sarevok, but kept her face hidden in her hands.
- "I feel like Peri does. If anyone ever should think that you are not really a good person, they should see this," the sad Imoen said too. "I... I am worried about big bro and that's all."
- "Is very nastybad the First Oni," Cespenar agreed. "But my bestverygood friend Sarevok kick it ass yes! Cespenar believes!"
Sarevok smiled sadly, darkly amused that at least someone seemed to have confidence in his abilities.
Winski just held him tight.
- "I would not let this grip ever go..." he said. "I thought I would never see the day I would have to see you in peril again. But I must let you go... like fathers have to let their sons go. You have chosen to walk a hero's way. And now that you are not a villain, I suppose it is the only way left for you."
- "Sarevok... let my love protect and guide you, like it once did," Jelena said, also holding his son.
- "Now the goodbyes have been said," Sarevok said. "Now we must go to the hai nu."
