"Mom?" Spencer cried as he saw her standing on the other side of the door smiling at him.
"My baby," she said holding out her arms for him.
"Mom, why are you here? What happened?" he said panicking.
Diana laughed and waved him off.
"I'm not dead, don't worry. This is just a little part of me that I lost when I developed Alzheimer's. I am just waiting here until the rest of me comes," she said. She looked away from him and sighed. "My goodness, you got yourself into quite a pickle this time, didn't you? Always tempting fate."
Spencer walked through the door and saw that they were standing in the hospital. He was hooked up to machines, unconscious. J.J. was sitting next to him holding his hand, crying quietly.
"Nice to see you two finally got your act together," Diana said as she elbowed Spencer playfully.
"Mom, please tell me what's going on?" Spencer said distressed by the confusion.
"I figured this would be obvious. You're brain injury shouldn't affect you here," she said eyeing him out.
"I have no ill feelings toward you, so I don't understand," he started.
"Just because you don't have negative feelings toward me, doesn't mean you don't have negative feelings toward our life. You've always held onto the bitterness of your dismal childhood. Who can blame you though? You had to care for me, your father made a poor decision that he's beaten himself up over since –"
"Good, he should," Spencer replied.
"Humans do stupid things all the time –" Diana started.
"Yes, I know. Gideon said the same thing, but I was a kid. How could he just walk away and not worry about our safety?" Spencer said angrily. "I had to deal with being beaten at school and at home and he just wandered off like nothing ever happened. Lived his cushy life as a fancy lawyer, while we struggled. While I stole food to feed us."
"You endured more than a child ever should," Diana said empathetically.
"So did you! Why aren't you mad at him too? You could've had a better quality of life if he hadn't left," Spencer snapped.
"Maybe, but I had an amazing son who gave me the best life I could possibly have and every day I am grateful and so proud of him," she said smiling lovingly at him.
"But I put you in a home … and I wasn't there for you …" he said as he began to cry.
"My dear boy, so smart, and yet so clouded by anger and guilt. Do you not see putting me in that home was the best quality of life?" she said.
"You hated that place! You were so mad at me for putting you there in the first place!" he argued.
"That was the illness talking. You seem to forget how to decipher between the two. The healthy me, knew you were doing what was best for me. I knew you were being brave, and you were using every penny you made to place me in a great facility."
"Fuck, Mom," he huffed as more tears poured from his eyes.
"Language Spencer. This may be the before, but I'll still wash your mouth out with soap," Diana said making him laugh unintentionally. "You need to know that I am ok. Everything that happened to me is ok because of you. Your strength and your heart have gotten me this far into my life. You've never given up on me and you've always tried your hardest to do what is best for me. You even risked prison for me."
"Let's not relive that," he said with a half-smile.
"It's time to stop burdening yourself with my illness. There is nothing to be gained by questioning every decision you've ever made. Ahhh, perfect timing!" she suddenly said clapping her hands. She pointed to J.J. who was now talking to his "alive" Mom. "Listen!"
Spencer stepped forward and listened. J.J.'s voice started coming in clearly, as though someone turned the TV volume up.
"Diana, Spencer once told me that one of the most fascinating things about your disease was that no matter how hard it tried to take you from him, in your heart you were always there. He said that he could always feel you present with him, even if you didn't seem to be mentally. He said everything would be ok because the disease could never attack your heart," J.J. said.
The volume seemed to cut out again. Spencer looked to his "dead" Mom with a furrowed brow. She smiled at him and sighed.
"Our minds my deteriorate on us," she said pointing to his head and then hers. "But no matter what, our hearts will never let us down. You have always followed your heart and that, my son, is the only path that will lead to the truth and happiness."
Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat. Had he really spent his entire life grieving over something he couldn't change? That he had really done his best all along and that was all that counted in the end? Suddenly, his head started throbbing and he dropped to his knees, as he had done in his apartment.
"It's time," Diana said looking down at him seriously.
"Mom, I don't know what to do!" he cried as he squeezed his temples that felt as though they would rupture at any moment.
"You do. Just follow your heart," she said.
"Mom, don't go! I need you! Stay with me, please!" he sobbed.
"Silly boy, I'm always with you," Diana said, but was nowhere to be seen.
Spencer was tugged down the hallway behind the nurses wheeling his thrashing body to surgery. He slid along the floor of the hospital, screaming for help. When he finally stopped in the brightly lit room, he jumped up in a panic. He could no longer see anything except for a blinding bright light.
"Someone help! Help me!" he screamed over the pain.
"Dr. Reid."
The pain vanished as quickly as it had come. He stood up and spun until he saw Chief Strauss smiling at him.
"It's time to make your decision. Do you go back, or do you go forward? The choice is completely yours," she said as she pointed out two dark black door shaped holes in the blinding light. "Go now, before you no longer get to choose."
Spencer looked at the two holes and then back to Strauss who nodded. He licked his dry lips and swallowed hard before turning and walking through the black hole in front of him.
(xxxxx)
A/N: Shorter chapter, but I was on a role tonight! Hope you enjoy it! xoxo
