Chapter Twenty Five

John Laurens

Hamilton showed up at John's quarters following Washington's rejection of his request for a command. Though John had been removed from camp for some months, now, this felt familiar. Hamilton had always treated John as his second choice, his consolation prize.

John had refused Hamilton's advances. He remained impervious to Hamilton's constant love proclamations and pleas for forgiveness. When Hamilton had argued that he would not leave John's quarters, John did not succumb to the temptation of arguing back. He knew that Hamilton wanted to quarrel; Hamilton was better at arguing than he was and could always manage to make John question why he had been angry in the first place.

John was foolish, but he was not a fool. He knew that he would soon forgive Hamilton for his bad behavior. He still loved Hamilton just as stupidly and recklessly as he had since he first saw that charming smile of his.

He was acting angry with Hamilton as an expression of power. He was letting Hamilton know that there were repercussions for his actions, even if John's heart was still his. He wanted to be in control of their relationship, for once.

So, he calmly told Hamilton that he was welcome to sleep on the floor.

Hamilton had slept on the floor that night. He had not complained once, though John could hear him shift throughout the night. He left early the following morning, before John was even awake.

When John did wake up and saw that Hamilton had disappeared, he figured that he had reported to Washington's quarters for the day. He let out a small sigh - he had rather been looking forward to giving Hamilton the silent treatment just to see Hamilton squirm - then set to work dressing himself appropriately for the war council meeting. The meeting was to be held in Washington's private study at twelve o'clock in the afternoon.

"Good morning, Colonel Laurens." A few of John's men were eating breakfast with some of Washington's men as John emerged from his quarters. John afforded them brisk nods.

"Colonel Laurens!" The booming voice of Henry Knox burst through the camp. John looked to his right and saw the pleasant but undeniably plump man moving towards him. His cheeks were ruddy despite the unusually warm weather.

"General Knox." John forced a smile. "How do you do?"

He liked Knox - everyone liked Knox, really - but he knew that he would ask about John's father. After all, he was closer friends with Henry Laurens than he was with John. John had only spoken to him a handful of times, and never as his peer.

"Well, hell, John. How can you ask a man such a thing during this damned war?" Knox chortled. "You headed to see General Washington?"

"When he'll receive me, sir. In the meantime, I was hoping to speak with his aides to gain a better understanding of the battle intended for this summer." John replied.

He wanted to flaunt his anger to Hamilton a bit more before the meeting.

"You are a copy of your father." Knox grinned. "I guess if you are going to educate yourself on the matter, I had better do so, too. I have let Nathaniel Greene get away with being the best prepared man in the room for far too long."

"Will General Greene be joining us?" John asked conversationally.

"Sure he will. He's General Washington's protege. I daresay he wouldn't miss a meeting for the world." Knox remarked playfully. "And I believe General Washington feels compelled to host him every so often so that his soldiers might catch a glimpse of Mrs. Greene from time to time. Nothing boosts morale like beauty, eh?"

John smiled tightly. He was aware that many men in the militia were enamored with Greene's wife. He had no such inclinations. In fact, Catherine Greene had always treated him rather unkindly. She was the first to laugh and tease him about his lack of social graces with the ladies.

The pair began to walk towards Washington's quarters together. John wondered if Washington would begin the meeting early, if two of its attendees arrived early. If the meeting were to begin early, John would certainly be unprepared. He did not know if Washington expected him to speak on any of the matters being discussed in the meeting. Washington withheld information with such secrecy that it was impossible to know what Washington expected most of the time.

"Hamilton!" Almost immediately after they stepped through the door to Washington's quarters, Knox noticed Hamilton. He was grinning from ear to ear.

Hamilton looked up from his work in surprise. His eyes first moved to look at John - John could not deny the small burst of pleasure he received from being noticed first - then shifted to Knox. He smiled automatically. It was the same personable and charming smile he employed for those he hoped to get something from.

"General Knox. I found myself hoping that you would be one of our esteemed guests." Hamilton rose from his feet. Across the room, Burr did the same. Hamilton bowed just low enough to be respectful, then extended his hand towards Knox. Knox shook it eagerly.

"Have you changed your mind about my employment offer?" Knox joked. "If you work for me, you will surely see more combat than you do under General Washington's supervision."

John raised an eyebrow. He had not known that Knox had offered to employ Hamilton.

"General Knox, are you attempting to lure Colonel Hamilton from my employ?" Washington emerged from his office at the sound of Knox's booming voice. He was smiling amusedly.

"At every opportunity I get." General Knox replied unabashedly. "You have twenty aides in your employ. I have five. It is not fair that, for your multitude of aides, you also have the most industrious ones."

"The meeting is not until noon, General Knox." Washington reminded him good-naturedly.

"Thank you for the reminder, General Washington." Knox responded, equally good-natured. "I am not yet here for the meeting. I spotted Colonel Laurens strolling towards your quarters to speak with your other aides in an effort to prepare himself for today's meeting. I supposed it might be proper to prepare myself, as well."

"How very industrious of you." Washington now turned to John with an unpleasant smile.

"Sir." John nodded to Washington deferentially, not volunteering any information which would lead to further disapproval from Washington.

"Well, then, gentlemen. I suppose I will leave you to your preparations." Washington said at last. "I have preparations of my own to tend to. I will see you both at noon."

Both John and Knox nodded as Washington disappeared into his office and closed the door behind him. John was relieved that Washington had not attempted to start the meeting early.

"All right, Hamilton." Knox turned to Hamilton, still smiling pleasantly. "Teach us everything we need to know for this meeting."

"Yes, sir." Hamilton glanced at John again.

His eyes were pleading.

John looked away as Hamilton continued with his answer.


"Gentlemen, I apologize for the secrecy of this meeting, but after many instances of espionage within my ranks, I fear that I may never be careful enough to avoid unfaithful and treacherous men." Washington began the meeting with a pointed look in Lee's direction.

John struggled to bite back a smirk. Lafayette was not so careful. He stood by Washington's side, his eyes narrowed and his mouth upturned into a wry smile as he, too, looked at Lee.

"Now, we have forecasted a battle with the British at Monmouth. The area has been scouted extensively over the year and will be suitable for our purposes." Washington rolled out a beautifully drawn map. There were notes peppering the drawing. John recognized Hamilton's handwriting.

"General Knox, I would like you and your men to hold and defend the artillery in your current location. It is close enough that we may fall back upon it if we need it, while being far enough away that you may retreat to avoid our weapons falling into British hands." Washington began with Knox.

He did not look at Knox as he spoke. Instead, he placed a large pebble upon the location which was to indicate Knox's location. Knox nodded.

"I've seen your requested munitions. To grant your request would be to deny the request of your other generals." Knox contributed. "Do you still wish for me to comply with your request?"

Washington paused, considering this. John assumed that he would choose to give himself all of the munitions and give the rest of the commanders less. John further assumed that he would be given the least of the munitions, of all of the commanders involved.

"Who would suffer shortfalls if I were to insist on my requested amount?" He asked.

"Nearly everyone...most of all, General Greene." Knox nodded across the table to where General Greene sat.

Greene blinked. He looked mortified at the thought of rivaling Washington for anything, even if it was only a few hundred bullets.

Washington nodded resolutely.

"Give General Greene his requested munitions. He will hold a strategic position that we cannot afford to lose. As for the rest of my commanders - reduce what remains of my request by one sixth and divide the amount between my commanders. That should be sufficient." Washington decided.

"Yes, sir." Knox seemed satisfied with Washington's solution.

Greene let out a sigh that was too loud to be proper. Everyone had the good graces to pretend that they had not heard it. John would tell Hamilton about the sigh once he was through with acting angry. Hamilton was always laughing at Greene's heightened fear of losing Washington's affection. He likened Greene to the homely widower attempting to court the prettiest debutante of the season.

"Colonel Laurens." Washington's attention fell on John. "Though I am aware of your preference for South Carolina, it is my sincere wish that you remain with my forces through this battle."

"Yes, sir. It is my desire to be employed wherever I am most useful to the cause." John replied in the mechanical voice he used when addressing his superiors. He knew better than to tell Washington what he really thought - positive or negative.

"Very good." Washington's eyes lingered on John's face for just a moment longer than what was necessary.

John knew that he was sizing him up; trying to discern whether John was happy about the prospect of spending a prolonged period of time with Hamilton. John hoped that his facial expression did not betray any sort of emotion.

Washington moved on to telling Greene about his command. John stopped listening, for fear of laughing at Greene's breathless joy over receiving attention from Washington. Instead, he allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of excitement coursing through him.

He would get to remain with Hamilton for months. This would not be a one-night, torrid memory, as Hamilton's wedding night had been. This would be the way that it had been when their relationship began. They could spend endless nights together, talking about things that were of no consequence, and laughing at jokes that they would not remember by the time the sun rose. Hamilton could be his again, and John could be Hamilton's.

The meeting lasted over four hours. The outcome could be summarized in ten minutes. The battle at Monmouth would not take place until summer arrived. There could be no risk of unusually cold spring weather, or rain. This timing meant that John would remain at camp for at least three months - possibly longer.

John would assist Lafayette in training men in preparation for the battles. Von Steuben had trained a few of Washington's troops, and it seemed that he had written a manual on the way that all men ought to be trained. Washington wished for John and Lafayette to use the manual to train recent recruits. He wanted everything to be perfect for the battle.

Once the meeting was over, John realized that he had the rest of the day to do as he pleased. He would have to make himself scarce, of course - if Washington observed him being idle, he would ask John to assist other aides in making copies of all of his wartime correspondence for "posterity" - but this freedom permitted him a moment with Hamilton.

The attendants of the meeting lingered in Washington's quarters even after Washington had dismissed them. Greene was hovering at the edge of the room, practically panting for the opportunity to speak privately with Washington. Knox was suggesting to Lafayette that they visit a local tavern that evening. Lee was attempting to ingratiate himself to Washington by asking him about his foxhounds. John was waiting for all of them to leave so that he could flaunt his anger in front of Hamilton, hoping for a heartfelt apology and an overdramatic profession of love.

"Colonel Laurens, would you care to join us?" Knox asked John as he and Lafayette threw on their jackets.

"I beg your pardon?" John asked distractedly.

"Would you care to go out with us for supper?" Knox repeated. He grinned. "There is not much to eat around town, and I daresay we will not get anything better unless we pay for it. Come, we will purchase some salted meat and flour while we are in town so our men will enjoy similar evenings."

"Oh…" John hesitated.

He did not want to spend the evening drinking and pretending to laugh with Knox and Lafayette. He wanted to spend the evening with Hamilton. He wanted to tell Hamilton everything that had happened to him since they had parted. He wanted Hamilton to tell him everything, too.

"He will come with us." Lafayette placed a heavy hand on John's shoulder. He beamed with delight.

John's heart sank as they opened the door to Washington's office and propelled John out into the main workspace, where Hamilton and Burr were busy at work.

"Hamilton! We are visiting the most disreputable tavern in the area. You must join us - I am certain there is no one who would better know where to find such a place!" Knox stopped at Hamilton's desk.

"General Knox, please do not take all of my aides out drinking before the workday is over." Washington called from his office.

Washington abhorred drinking. He tolerated wine and, on occasion, ale, but disapproved of anything stronger. While he permitted foot soldiers to drink small amounts of liquor on celebratory occasions, he demanded that his officers be role models on the matter.

"I would not dare, my dear general. I will only take a select few - your best ones!" Knox laughed.

Washington grumbled something in his office. No one could make out the particular words.

"Colonel Laurens is attending this outing?" Hamilton looked at John.

He was grinning, but John could see a question in his eyes. He wanted to know if John would begrudge him his company. John looked away from Hamilton. He focused instead on Lafayette. He smiled to himself. He was enjoying watching Hamilton squirm.

"We have forced him into it." Lafayette proclaimed, looking back at John triumphantly.

"I should like to go, if Colonel Laurens is going." Hamilton professed freely in front of the whole room full of people. "It is so rare that he partakes in such entertainment."

"Then we had better rush you out of camp before General Washington hears that you are coming along with us." Knox gestured for Hamilton to get up out of his seat. Hamilton obliged this request, shrugging on his jacket quickly and without his usual grace.

The small group of men hurried out of Washington's quarters before Washington could object.

None of them thought to invite Burr, who was left sitting alone in the workspace.

Alexander Hamilton

John was polite but aloof at the tavern. Alexander wanted to pull him aside and make him forget about his petty jealousies and insecurities over Washington, but it was impossible when General Knox and Lafayette were jockeying for all of the attention at the table.

"I thought that General Greene would burst into tears when Washington granted him the additional munitions." Knox jeered, looking around the table in the hopes that his companions would laugh at his joke.

Everyone complied. Lafayette let out a genuine burst of laughter. John laughed politely. Alexander smiled, but could not commit himself to a full laugh. He was distracted by the charcoal smudge on John's cheek. He did not know when the smudge had gotten there. He wondered how the smudge had come to exist on John's cheek. He wondered if it had been placed there by John's hand. There was no charcoal on John's hands. He then wondered if it had been placed there by another's hand.

"Oh, now, you cannot laugh too hard, General Lafayette!" Knox clapped his hand on Lafayette's back good-naturedly. "For you are just as affected by General Washington's presence as poor General Greene!"

Lafayette blushed, but laughed along with Greene. Everyone at the table was aware that Lafayette loved Washington the best out of everyone at the table. He worshipped Washington like a religion. Alexander had often wondered if Lafayette would have enjoyed the sort of relationship that he currently maintained with Washington. He once brought up the subject with Washington. Washington had ridiculed the idea that Lafayette's affection could be anything other than a platonic feeling resembling a father-son affection.

Alexander wished that Lafayette loved Washington romantically. He wished that Lafayette could take his place so that he never had to bear witness to John's jealousy again.

"Who among us has never been enamored with dear General Washington?" John suddenly spoke up, looking around the table before settling his gaze on Alexander. "A toast, to the most noble gentleman in America."

"To General Washington!" Knox roared, holding up his mug of ale.

"To General Washington!" Lafayette and Alexander echoed. Lafayette's voice was shrill and overeager, like a hunting dog's excited yelp. Alexander's voice was lackluster. He did not take his eyes off of John.

Each man drank his drink in silence. Knox gulped down the rest of his ale in a single pull. Lafayette nursed his wine, having learned his lesson from Mr. Morris' ball. John took slow, deliberate sips of his ale. He obviously did not like it, but was trying to pretend that he did to avoid hurting Knox's feelings. Alexander might have smiled, if he weren't so frustrated with John's unwillingness to speak to him.

"Well gentlemen, I suppose I must take leave of you." Knox sighed. "For I am a much older man than you, and I will receive a much more severe punishment if I am suspected of drunkenness by General Washington."

Knox tossed a few coins onto the table. It was more than the entire bill was like to be. All three of the men voiced their protests halfheartedly. Knox waved off the protests as he put on his jacket.

Lafayette rose from his seat. John did, too. Alexander remained where he was, watching John through narrow eyes. He hoped that this might be his opportunity to speak with John alone. He knew that if he could only get John alone for a moment or two, he could resolve the injury which had vexed John so.

"Do not feel obligated to depart with me, friends." Knox told them. "Stay. Enjoy your evenings. Enjoy them before you become an old man with many obligations, like me. Goodbye, my dear friends."

John sat down again. Lafayette did not.

"I will accompany you, General Knox." Lafayette insisted. "Not out of a sense of duty, but out of a fear of what injuries might befall me in ze absence of your judicious nature."

Knox barked out a laugh. "Sir, if I am to be your moral compass, I fear you are doomed."

"I will accompany you nonetheless, general." Lafayette grinned.

"I will remain here." Alexander said, turning to look at John. He ventured a slight, confident smile. "If Colonel Laurens will keep me company while I drink."

John nodded slightly and raised his mug in Alexander's direction, silently assenting. Alexander's smile widened.

Knox and Lafayette disappeared from sight, their laughter still ringing in Alexander's ears. In their absence, he turned to look at John. John was staring down at his mug, pouting. No other man was capable of pouting the way that John Laurens was. Alexander could not help but smile at the sight of him.

"John," He said, trying very hard not to laugh at how utterly pitiful John appeared. "Are you still angry with me?"

John shrugged sulkily.

"John," Alexander tried again. "You must know that there is nothing between Washington and myself. I requested a command, nothing further. My sole wish is for some sort of status so that I might deserve you. I care not Washington beyond attaining my objective."

John let out an exasperated sigh. "You do not need a command to deserve me. You need only to place me above others, as I have done for you."

Alexander was pleased that he had gotten John to speak to him. He hid his pleasure, however, so that John would not suspect him of believing that he had gotten away with his bad behavior.

"I have held you above all others since I first met you." He protested, instead. "I am aware that my actions often contradict this assertion, but you must believe me. There is no one above you."

A small smile appeared on, then disappeared from, John's face so quickly that Alexander nearly missed it.

"You hated me when we first met." He remarked.

Alexander squirmed in his seat. He smiled, too.

"Perhaps there is some truth in that." He admitted, still smiling. "But I did believe that you were the handsomest man I had ever seen."

John rolled his eyes. His cheeks reddened from embarrassment, but his smile gave him away. He was pleased with Alexander's statement. He liked to be called handsome. Everyone did.

"Please do not be angry with me." Alexander seized on the opportunity to beg forgiveness.

"I'm not...I was never angry with you." John said. He sighed, shook his head, and smiled. "I was only punishing you for visiting Washington on my first night at camp."

Alexander laughed. He could not help it.

"You mean to tell me that you made me sleep on the floor to punish me, though you were not angry?" He demanded, still laughing.

John laughed, too.

"I fear if I let you get away with too much without repercussions, you will take advantage of me freely and carelessly." He replied.

"You must always fear that I will take advantage of you." Alexander's voice sank into a flirtatious tone that he knew always worked against John. "But rest assured, such an act will never be done carelessly."

John cleared his throat. His blush was now spreading to his neck, his ears, and perhaps even his torso beneath his cravat and shirt. Alexander was eager to find out.

"I believe I am worn from the exertion of today's responsibilities." John remarked, his words ruined by the shakiness of his voice. "I think that I will return to camp and go straight to my quarters."

"Is that so?" Alexander asked amusedly.

"Yes." John rose from his chair and shrugged on his jacket. He glanced in Alexander's direction, smiling as he blushed. "And I wish that you would come with me."