"Dad" Rachel panicked when she came downstairs and found Leroy was alone. "Where's Mom? She wasn't in bed and…"

Leroy gently guided Rachel into a chair at the table and sat down beside her, "your Mom had a rough night" he told her, "she's in our room with your Daddy, I slept on your bed. When he wakes, Daddy's going to call your Mom's therapist and see if she can see someone today."

"But she's okay?"

"She's safe" Leroy reassured her, "she's with your Daddy."

"Did she… did she hurt herself?"

"She didn't cut herself."

Rachel frowned, "did she hurt herself some other way?"

"I don't want to lie to you Rachel, but I don't know how much your Mom would be comfortable with you knowing, but, as far as I'm aware, Shelby didn't come to any physical harm last night."

"Do you think she'll talk to me about it?" Rachel asked quietly.

"I'm sure she will" Leroy nodded, "but don't push her, let her come to you in her own time."

"I will" Rachel leaned over to hug her Dad.

"We're going to get her the help she needs Rachel, I promise you, your Daddy and I will do everything we can to help Shelby get better." Leroy told her as he carefully pulled his daughter to sit on his lap, holding her tightly.

Rachel was still cradled in Leroy's arms when Hiram came downstairs, "where's Mom?" Rachel asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's still sleeping Princess" Hiram kissed her hair, "why don't you go up and see her for five minutes before breakfast, try not to wake her though."

Rachel nodded and almost ran from the room, "how did you sleep?" Leroy gently pulled Hiram down to take Rachel's place on his lap.

Hiram sighed as he let his head rest on Leroy's shoulder, "up and down" he said honestly, "Shelby slept right through but I feel like I woke everytime she moved."

"If you want to take an ambien tonight and knock yourself out then I'll keep an ear open for Rachel or Shelby."

Hiram nodded, "I might take a nap when I get back later, see how I feel after that."

"Okay, are you going to call the therapist's office or…"

"I did it before I came down" Hiram told him, "I spoke to her therapist and she said that if I can get Shelby there for about 10.30, she'll be there and there'll be a doctor there who can talk to Shelby about her medication. And I'll make myself an appointment to see someone while I'm there" he added before Leroy could say anything.

"Thank you" Leroy kissed Hiram's temple.

"Did you sleep?" Hiram asked.

"Yeah, I fell asleep quite quickly after we went back upstairs and woke about half an hour ago. You could sleep in Shelby's room tonight, or I'll sleep in with Shelby if she wants to be with one of us so you can get some rest."

"I'll bear that in mind." Hiram nodded, "I'll see if I manage to nap later and we can talk to Shelby too, to see if she wants one of us to stay with her."

"Okay" Leroy smiled, "are you ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah" Hiram nodded, "want me to…"

"You go get Rachel" Leroy kissed his temple again, "I'll make pancakes for her."

"Thank you" Hiram smiled as he stood up and made his way upstairs. He found Rachel curled on her side facing Shelby, singing quietly under her breath as she held Shelby's hand, watching Shelby sleep. "Dad's making pancakes" he said after watching her for a moment. "I'm going to take your Mom to see her therapist later, so if you want to go to your dance class then you should, your Mom will be safe while you're gone and having a distraction might be good for you."

Rachel nodded as she stood from the bed, walking into Hiram's open arms, "Mom said she'd come to my show, so maybe I should go, so I can practice and be the best I can be at my show."

"That sounds like a good plan" Hiram smiled, "let's go downstairs for breakfast."

"But Mom…"

"We'll hear her if she wakes. And I'm sure Dad will make enough pancakes for her to have some later if she wants them."

"Okay" Rachel pulled away from Hiram, walking back over to Shelby and gently kissing her forehead and whispering, "I love you Mom" before letting Hiram lead her downstairs.

They ate breakfast in silence and, once they'd finished, Rachel went to get ready for her dance class and Hiram went to wake Shelby. "Wha…" Shelby felt slightly groggy as she woke, "I…" she cursed under her breath, her head felt fuzzy and she'd woken in a bed she didn't recognise. She hated herself, she'd promised herself she'd never do this again.

"Hey."

Shelby's eyes snapped open, "Hiram." suddenly it all came flooding back to her, sobbing in his arms in the kitchen, being in her underwear, taking the valium…

"Yeah, are you okay?"

Shelby glanced around the room, "I… I'm in your bed?"

"Yeah" he nodded, "you fell asleep downstairs, Leroy carried you up here and I stayed with you, he slept in Rachel's bed."

"Oh, okay".

"I've spoken to your therapist" Hiram told her, "we need to leave in about 45 minutes, she'll be there to talk to you and there'll be a doctor in that can talk to you about changing your meds if that's what you want."

Shelby nodded, "will you, will you come with me?"

"Of course" Hiram took her hand, "I had no intention of letting you go alone. Now, why don't you get ready and I'll get you some breakfast, do you think you can manage something?"

Shelby's mind flashed back to the moment she'd vomited into the trash can and she felt her stomach lurch again, "not really" she sighed, "but I'll try."

"Thank you" Hiram gently squeezed Shelby's hand, "I'll see you downstairs when you're ready."

When Shelby walked into the kitchen, Leroy greeted her with a smile and a plate, he hadn't given her much, just one pancake and a small serving of fruit, "just eat what you can" he told her, "don't force yourself."

He and Hiram shared a look as they watched Shelby fighting a silent battle with herself. Her eyes were focused on her plate but she wasn't eating, was simply cutting her food into smaller and smaller pieces as she pushed it around the plate.

"Do you want me to put that in the dishwasher?" Leroy asked after watching Shelby push the food around the plate for a few more minutes.

"No" Shelby snapped, clutching at her plate, "no, I need to eat it" she began frantically shovelling the food into her mouth barely chewing each mouthful before she swallowed.

"Shelby" Hiram tried to take the plate, "please don't do this."

"No" Shelby repeated, "I need to eat it."

"Not like this" he said softly, "we can get you something else."

Shelby shook her head, "no. I need to eat it." The plate of food was gone within seconds, Shelby feeling uncomfortably full as she stood to put her, now empty, plate in the dishwasher. She didn't make it though, quickly dropped the plate onto the counter as her stomach lurched and she managed to make it to the sink, fingers curling around the worktop as she vomited up the food she'd just eaten.

Leroy saw Shelby's legs give way as she began to sob noisily and managed to catch her before she fell, sitting her on the floor as Hiram poured her a glass of water, "can you slow your breathing down for me Shelby?" he slowed his own breathing, "take some sips of the water, that will help."

Hiram looked to Leroy when they heard footsteps on the stairs, "take Rachel to dance" he insisted, "I'll look after Shelby."

Leroy managed to stop Rachel before she made it into the kitchen, and, despite Rachel's insistence that she wanted to say bye to her Mom, Leroy told Rachel that Shelby was a little upset and managed to convince her to leave Hiram and Shelby alone.

Hiram sat with Shelby until she calmed down a little, but she was still crying and shaking when he helped her out to the car. As much as he wanted to tuck her back in bed and let her try and sleep like he knew she wanted to, he also knew that she needed more help than he could give her so he needed to take her to her appointment.

Shelby was still shaking when Hiram helped her from the car, his arm around her waist as they made their way up to the therapist's office. Luckily Shelby's therapist was waiting for them and invited Shelby straight back into her room so she didn't have to sit in the waiting area, despite there only being two other people waiting.

The therapist stayed calm when she saw Shelby, taking her through to her office and sitting with her, using tried and tested techniques to help her calm down from the impending panic attack she was sure was going to consume her. Once Shelby was calmer, her therapist asked if Shelby thought some background music would help her relax a little. She got the slightest of nods and turned to her filing cabinet, taking out a stack of CDs and handing them to Shelby. Shelby picked out some soft jazz and the therapist complimented her in her choice, "why don't you make yourself comfortable while I put this on and then we can talk" she suggested, not wanting Shelby to feel like she had to sit in the chair she usually favoured. She saw Shelby glance nervously around the room, "wherever you feel comfortable Shelby" she reassured her, "wherever you feel safe." Shelby still didn't look sure, "it's not my place to judge. I've spent sessions laid on the floor, sat by the door, there was one time where I spent the first twenty minutes of the hour talking to someone who was curled in a ball under my desk. Whatever works for you."

That was how Shelby found herself curled on her side on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest, her whole body still trembling as she clutched a throw pillow in her arms, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks as she did her best to engage with her therapist, to stop her mind wandering to places she didn't want it to go.

As Shelby spoke to her therapist, and then saw a doctor about her medication, Hiram made himself an appointment to see someone before settling down in the waiting area, he'd promised Shelby he wouldn't go anywhere so he didn't.

Shelby had lost all perspective of time, she had no idea how long she'd been laid on the couch, it could have been minutes or it could have been days, she really couldn't tell, and she knew that she probably should be worried about that but she really couldn't bring herself to care. Hiram on the other hand knew exactly how long Shelby had been gone, knew she'd gone well over the usual hour she spent with her therapist, but he trusted the woman, trusted her to do what was best for Shelby and knew she wouldn't send Shelby out until she was sure she'd be okay, at least until her next session.

Shelby looked completely exhausted when she stepped back into the waiting area, "ready to go home?" Hiram asked as he walked over to her.

"Yeah" Shelby whispered, "I just want to sleep. I, I need to pick up a prescription on the way home."

"Okay" Hiram nodded, "we can do that, do you want us to keep Rachel out of the way when we're home so you can sleep?"

Shelby shook her head and sighed as she got into Hiram's car, "I'll talk to her first, I don't want her to worry."

"Do you want some time before we go home?" Hiram asked, Shelby seemed a lot calmer and more coherent than she had been before her session and Hiram was grateful for that, "we can take as long as you need."

"I think I'm okay" Shelby whispered, "she's erm, the doctor's given me a prescription for new meds and more valium, she wants me to take the original dose every day until I go back to see her in two weeks, but she says I can take half in the morning and half in the evening if that makes me feel better. The therapist, she erm, she gave me details of a dietician that she thinks I should speak to, and she talked about upping my sessions to twice a week and maybe trying CBT. I, I said I wanted to look into it a little more but I agreed to the second session, at least for now."

"That's good" Hiram nodded, "I think the second session will help, and I don't really think you've got anything to lose by trying a new medication. Did you ask the doctor about switching the valium?" It was something they'd spoken about, Shelby bringing up the side effects that the medication gave her when she took the full dose she'd been prescribed and asking if there was an alternative.

"I mentioned it" Shelby nodded, "but she said that, if I can, she wants me to stick with it for a while, it's why she suggested I take half a dose twice a day. She said that, because it works, even if it gives me side effects, she's reluctant to change it at the same time as my antidepressants in case whatever she gives me instead doesn't work. She said once we've got an antidepressant that's working well then she'll look into giving me something else for my anxiety when I need it."

"Okay" Hiram nodded, "that makes sense."

"She signed me off work too" Shelby whispered, "for two weeks. She said we can talk about if I need longer when I go back."

Hiram nodded again, "how do you feel about that?"

Shelby shrugged, "I don't know, its not what I wanted to do but if it's what the doctor thinks is best…"

"Maybe a break is what you need".

"Yeah" Shelby sighed as she turned to look out of the window, silently telling Hiram the conversation was over, "maybe."

"Mom" Rachel almost flew into Shelby's arms when she stepped into the house.

Shelby returned the hug, "hey" she smiled tiredly.

"Are you okay?"

"I… I think so" Shelby nodded, still holding Rachel tightly. "I know you've probably got a lot of questions, that you're probably worrying about a lot of things so erm, how about you let me make some coffee and then we can go upstairs and talk about it. Unless you'd rather talk about it with your dad's there too?" she was exhausted, just wanted to curl up and sleep for the next month but she didn't want Rachel to worry about her, needed to put her daughter's mind at rest first.

Rachel shook her head," we can go upstairs. Would you like me to make your coffee?"

Shelby nodded, "that would be nice, thank you. I'm going to get changed, you don't have to knock, just come in."

"Okay" Rachel stretched onto tiptoes to kiss Shelby's cheek, "see you in a minute."

Shelby was laid on the bed when Rachel came upstairs, changed from the sweatpants she'd worn to the therapist's, into clean pyjamas, not planning on doing anything but sleep for the rest of the day.

"You look tired" Rachel said softly as she sat beside her Mom in the bed and held out the coffee.

"I didn't get much sleep" Shelby said honestly as she pushed herself to sit up, taking the mug from her daughter, "I erm, I'll probably try and sleep for a while but I want to talk to you first. I don't want you worrying about me."

Rachel smiled softly, "if you're going to try and sleep would you rather I made you some tea?"

Shelby shook her head and sipped at her coffee, "I'll be okay thanks." She put down her mug and held her arms out, Rachel shuffling into her embrace, settling with her head against her Mom's chest. "I can't tell you what happened last night" Shelby said quietly, finding it easier to talk when she couldn't look Rachel in the eye, "not because I don't want to or I'm trying to hide from you, but because I don't really know. I feel like I lost control and I, I don't remember much until I was crying in your Daddy's arms."

Rachel twisted to look up at Shelby, "did you hurt yourself?"

"No" Shelby pushed up both her sleeves, showing Rachel there were no cuts on her arms, "I think…" she sighed, "I think there was probably a part of me that wanted to but I didn't do it."

"I'm glad you didn't" Rachel's arms tightened around Shelby's middle as she laid her head back on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart.

"I… Daddy took me to the therapist's office and I, I spoke to a doctor and my therapist, they've changed my medication. A common side effect of the new one is increased appetite, which is one of the reasons we're trying it. And it can also cause drowsiness, so I have to take this one in the evening not the morning, so hopefully it will help me sleep."

"That would be good" Rachel nodded against Shelby's chest, "if it helps you sleep and if it makes you hungry, but, can I… "

"Can you what?" Shelby asked when Rachel stopped mid sentence.

"If the new medication makes you sleep better, can I still sleep in here sometimes?"

"Whenever you want" Shelby told her, "you can sleep on here whenever you want."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me." Shelby briefly closed her eyes, "there's something else you should know, it's nothing to worry about, I just want you to be aware. Do you remember the day I took that pill to help with my anxiety after the panic attack I had?" Rachel nodded, "the doctor I spoke to today suggested I take a small dose of that every morning and every evening for the next week or two while my body gets used to the new medication. It's a smaller dose than I took that time so it shouldn't effect me as harshly as it did then, but I just wanted to tell you, just in case."

"I appreciate you telling me Mom, I really do."

"I erm, I'm going to take some time off work too, hopefully not long, just a week or two but I… I thought that going to work, that keeping myself busy might help, but maybe what I really need is a break from everything."

"I think maybe that would be beneficial" Rachel agreed, "even if all you do is rest, taking some time for yourself will be good for you."

"I hope so".

"Why don't you start now?" Rachel suggested, "you've reassured me that you're okay so why don't you lay down and try and get some sleep?"

"Are you…" Shelby wasn't sure what she was asking.

"Do you want me to stay?" Rachel asked, gesturing for Shelby to crawl under the covers.

"You don't have to" Shelby whispered, Rachel seeing the exhaustion in her Mom's eyes as the woman gazed up at her.

"No, but I will" Rachel said softly as she laid down beside her Mom, reaching out and letting her hand rest on Shelby's cheek as Shelby gazed up at her.

"I love you so much Rachel" Shelby gently placed her hand on top of Rachel's.

"I love you too Mom" Rachel stroked Shelby's cheek with her thumb, "close your eyes and get some sleep" Rachel watched as Shelby closed her eyes, her hand still resting on Rachel's on her cheek. She watched her Mom for a few minutes, noticed how she seemed to be struggling to relax, so she did the only thing she could do, "You feel like you're falling backwards, like you're slippin' through the cracks, like no one would even notice if you left this town and never came back. You walk outside and all you see is rain, you look inside and all you feel is pain and you can't see it now." She heard Shelby's breath catch in her throat but she didn't open her eyes so Rachel continued to sing,"but down the road the sun is shining, in every cloud there's a silver lining, just keep holding on. Every heartache makes you stronger and it won't be much longer, you'll find love, you'll find peace and the you you're meant to be, I know right now that's not the way you feel but one day you will."

Rachel continued singing quietly long after she'd felt Shelby's grip loosen on her hand, wanting to be sure the woman wouldn't wake when Rachel carefully stood from the bed and pulled the covers straight around her Mom, "I love you" Rachel whispered, kissing her hair before leaving her to sleep.

"Everything okay?" Leroy asked as Rachel walked into the living room.

She nodded silently but made her way to sit between her fathers, both men happy to hold her, "we talked for a little while and then I, I laid with her until she fell asleep."

"I'm sure Shelby appreciated that" Leroy smiled before asking, "and how are you doing?"

Rachel shrugged, "I… I want Mom to get better" she whispered, "and although I hate that she's really not okay, I'm glad that she's here with us and that she isn't on her own, that she isn't hurting herself."

"So are we" Hiram kissed Rachel's hair, "and she's welcome to stay with us for ad long as she wants to Rach, even if these meds work and she starts doing better, we're not going to kick her out."

"And we'll still support her even when she does go back home" Leroy added, smiling as Rachel nodded, "okay" Leroy gently squeezed her hand, "so how about we let your Mom rest and go make dinner.

"Yeah" Rachel nodded again, "okay."


The song Rachel sang to Shelby was 'One Day You Will' by Lady Antebellum