That's MILITARY BRAT to You - Ch. Nineteen;

AN: So I listen to a random playlist while writing and "unconditionally" by katy perry came on and I was like ... "that's them lol nice"

The afternoon went along pretty uneventfully. Neither of us could look at one another, and it was evident others could notice this as well. However, we kept up our usual temperaments; me being upbeat, talkative, entertaining as far as Hange was concerned, and he remained his silent self, concentrating on his work and berating the younger soldiers if he noticed even a speck of dust on something they cleaned.

As evening approached, and the others within the cabin prepping for dinner or bed, I found myself in the library again (this one quite a bit more cramped but still a nice, private area), mostly to just be alone when I heard someone enter through the entryway, the old wood creaking beneath their feet. I lifted my brown eyes from the book I was reading (or trying to read, I couldn't recall a thing as I'd been staring at the same page for however long) and met the eyes of Hange, her face rid of its normal jocular expression.

"What's going on?" I asked, closing my book and not bothering to mark my place.

"What's going on with you? You and Levi both have been acting... strange."

I felt my cheeks flush, and was grateful for the dim light of the candlelight to not make such a thing so obvious. "Nothing is going on. We trained earlier in the morning, came back and worked. That's about all there is to it."

"So - " Now she appeared truly confused. "Why does he keep looking at you? Did you do something?"

I couldn't help but recall our final position before he threw me off: me on top of him, leaning close, our eyes never leaving one another. I didn't want to think too hard about that situation - but I couldn't help it. Because something sparked between us. and I couldn't deny it anymore.

"I don't know. I truly don't." That really was the God's-honest truth. I wished I could read Levi's mind, just get a sliver of what he was thinking. Quite frankly, I would pay to have an inkling of what was going on in his mind, whether it was about the life he was living currently, why he cleaned so heavily, what he thought of me. "Did you try asking him?"

She grimaced, and instantly I felt like an idiot. Yes, she had. "He said, 'Mind your business, four-eyes and get back to washing the windows'. Truly, he is obsessed."

And, yes, see- I wanted to know why so badly. I had a drive to know more about Levi something terrible that it almost hurt. I felt like, during the first couple days of being here, everyone wasn't shy about discussing their story - except Levi.

"Petra said that he was from the Underground City," I probed, being careful with my words. "Is that true?"

Now Hange was full-on smiling, and I started to regret my question. She sauntered to sit cross-legged in front of me, hands in her lap, and then she spoke. "When I met him, he had just been arrested by Erwin himself. And the stipulation to avoid going to jail and being inevitably executed for his long-list of crimes - alongside some close friends of his - they had to join the Scouting Legion."

"And he... agreed?" In the back of my mind, I made a note to bring up his friends again, as I was curious about the type of people he would hang out with during his supposed "thug" days.

"Yep! Turns out, he had a plan of his own. He got arrested on purpose so he could execute Erwin, earn passes to permanently live Upstairs, have everything pardoned, that sort of thing." Now the smile disappeared, her large brown eyes now on the ground around my feet. "It didn't go as planned, as you can see. He... His friends were obliterated by a titan and he... he kind of went absolutely crazy. Destroyed the titan all by himself, a feat that is normally impossible for someone new to the field. It was... terrifying, honestly."

My eyes watered, and before I knew it, tears flowed down my face. Hange noticed this and flinched, stuttering something about getting a tissue. She handed me a clearly used handkerchief instead, and I tentatively wiped my face with any part that appeared to be clean. "Thank you."

"Why are you crying? He's okay, he's here."

"But his friends aren't. That must have made him feel... isolated. Losing his closest friends like that. And lost. I couldn't imagine... " I shook my head. "I think I would be lost without my team. So I wonder how he felt when ... when Petra, and Oluo and..." The tears started to well up again and I brushed at them quickly. "I just hope it doesn't make his heart hard. He ... he deserves ... "

I couldn't finish. I didn't know how. He deserved better? True friends? Love? Of course, but I couldn't bring myself to say all that aloud.

"Hange - what are you doing to her?" Levi was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, icy blue eyes glaring openly at the scientist.

She hopped to her feet, laughing awkwardly and wiping at dirt that wasn't even on her pants before quickly excusing herself and rushing past Levi, not even looking at him. Once we were alone, my heart began to beat a million miles a minute. I averted my brown gaze to my lap, trying so hard to think of anything else. Maybe I could try to recall just what I was reading, knowing full well I wouldn't be able to remember that information. But it was a reliable distraction -

"I heard everything. Including you blubbering like a child."

I shot him a glare now; everytime he would make remarks like that, I just wanted to get in his face and tell him off. But the idea of getting in his face while also feeling so ... confused would not be wise whatsoever. "Excuse me, we can't all just... not feel."

"You think I don't feel?"

Whoops. I hit a nerve I didn't want to touch, I could tell. He walked over to me, slow, calculating, as his steps normally were. He leaned over me, hands pressed on the arms of the chair I was sitting in, eyes forcing me to look at him, look into him. "The problem is, I do feel. I feel strongly. And right now, I have to ask myself: why is it I feel so strongly for you?"

I could not hold back the gasp that escaped me at those words, eyes wide, trying so hard to think of something - anything - to say. And, the only intelligent response I could think of was, "Oh..?"

Idiot.

He leaned closer, his hair touching my light brown bangs now. "You bring out feelings in me that no one, not a single soul, has ignited. It's like a fire and dammit -" Now our noses were touching. And I should have moved away, I told myself that, but I just could not. "You are choking me, Rosalynda."

I didn't think about much after that, not with his lips pressed against my own. My eyes initially widened in response before I closed them, melting into the kiss, into him.

Levi tasted like sandlewood and cigarettes and a little like sweat and fresh soap and God it made me so dizzy. My hands pressed against his chest, clutching his shirt, keeping him close as he deepened the kiss. He pushed me so my back was resting on the back of the plush chair. And just as I turned my head, allowing the kiss to deepen even more, he pulled away, so quick it caused me to whimper in response.

He shoved away from the chair and headed to the doorway, stopping at its entrance to glance at me and say in a soft, husky voice, "Goodnight, Rosalynda." Then he was gone.

I needed a few moments to calm down. So - did that solidify just what I was thinking? Was I actually dreaming the whole thing? Would he acknowledge this at all in the future?

Was I ready to get my heart broken again?

Probably.

AN: So the song "ruin my life" by zara larsson just came on and I am just LAUGHING lmaoooo