Chapter 9 Day 5

They took many breaks. Enough for Aline to catch her breath and gather strength. The blood loss had been significant but thanks to the nanites the wound had closed completely, even removed a smaller wound Aline had been sporting since the bloodbath. Dawn was breaking. They had decided to explore another area in the arena, maybe even go back to one of the houses they previously explored. They had understood that every house had its own flavour, its own peculiarity that made it unique and toward which every tribute had chances to be attracted.

The place they were exploring had high grass and more rubble and stones; trees were rare. It wasn't all that easy to navigate but they were doing fine. Alec hadn't slept again. Every step he took made him want to keel over. He was hurting. His robe felt stiff and unpleasant to walk in. He almost couldn't lift his weapon. He was ready to crumble into pieces.

He had been thinking of Kaelie, her face was everywhere when he closed his eyes. The skin of his hands itched underneath his skin but he couldn't find the reason why. He was too tired to find the reason why.

Lydia was quiet, more so than usual; she was also more at the back of the group. It was as if she was avoiding Alec. He tried not to make anything of it. But he couldn't read if she was angry at him or not. She deflected anything he had to say and had sharp remarks about almost everything he asked about. She conversed with Aline from time to time and sometimes with Meliorn. But not Alec.

He didn't want to doubt her. He trusted Lydia with his life. However, if she had changed her mind he had to know. Which is why he cornered her. Normally he would have let it slide. Normally he didn't even care what people thought of him, or if they had an issue with him. But normally he wasn't in the arena either. This was a once in a lifetime situation. This was a life or death situation.

"Why are you ignoring me ?" They were keeping watch for another small break. The house was pretty close now.

"I'm angry," her heartfelt answer almost made Alec gape his mouth open in surprise. But he composed himself quickly.

"Is it something I have done ?" He asked carefully. He didn't feel insecure per se. But he hadn't been aware of any misdemeanours or anything that had been tactically out of place. Lydia was scrutinising him. When he didn't answer his own question Lydia got even more annoyed.

"You let the tribute from 10 go," she said as if it was self-evident. Alec knew better than to shrug her argument away.

"We'll get her next time." He tried not to sound arrogant as he said it. She was a formidable opponent and she had been able to outsmart the Huntress to get more of these throwing axes. She was resilient and strong. She deserved admiration. He looked forward to fighting her.

"Next time one of us might be dead." The sentence was laced in bitterness. But the matter-of-fact tone made Alec stop in his train of thoughts. She put doubt in his mind. Had he indeed made the right decision to let the tribute run ? Had he been reckless ? Too arrogant ?

"Any second we spend in this arena, is a second closer to us dying," he retorted. Had he made a mistake ? No. He couldn't have. He had given his word. He would stand by it. He crossed his arms over his chest "I won't lose myself Lydia." It wouldn't have felt right to stab the tribute from 10 in the back. This wasn't his way of doing things. He absentmindedly rubbed over his healed carved marks. The one on his ribs was almost completely closed up now. Now it was just a reminder of the pain he had endured. It was silent between them for a bit.

"You're right," Lydia sighed. Her shoulders slumped a bit. She wouldn't have let anyone look at her this way if it hadn't been just the two of them. "It's just… there are so many of us left. The Mckenzie girl looks like she lost her mind and 10 looks lethal. I mean, we haven't seen the girl from 3. What if she is pulling the same stunt as Jocelyn Fairchild ? Appear desperate and weak. Hide herself during most of the games before killing the primary alliance all on her own ?" The question was genuinely laced with concern.

"I don't think she'll pose a huge threat." Now he sounded arrogant. But the way the tribute from 3 had behaved hadn't given anything away that she would secretly be a killer. She had been smart to hide from them for now but Alec didn't believe she was an actual threat.

"I really want to believe you, Alec." Alec would have reached out to her, put his hand on her shoulder. But he knew she would have hated it so he refrained from doing it.

"Trust me," he smirked. His gut feelings about the people around them hadn't been wrong so far. "It's going to be alright."

Lydia nodded. Alec wasn't sure if she believed him or if it meant her anger had been doused out. Lydia had in the end not been very vocal about any fears or insecurities. Not since they had their talk on the couch on that first night after the reaping.

They turned around to join the group again. Aline stood up from the rock she had been sitting on. She hadn't been looking well. "We're close to the house, I hate saying this but I need proper sleep." They all needed their strength if they were to encounter someone else to fight or flee from, so they agreed to adhere to her request.

"I wouldn't have wagered you for someone who would admit when situations and bodily conditions aren't in their favour and would impede a mission." Said Alec. He didn't mean it as an attack. Just an observation. He readjusted his feather-staff on his back.

"My mother would have called it a weakness," Aline looked at him, as if she was hesitating. "Helen taught me it is a strength."

Alec stopped in his track. His eyes did not look away. He found himself unable to formulate a response. He was at a loss for words. He had understood. He didn't need more words. Her tone of voice hadn't wavered.

"Helen ?" Lydia was the one asking the question, because they often forgot. The ones who didn't make it were often forgotten. Alec didn't feel at ease.

"Helen Blackthorn," Meliorn answered, breaking the heavy silence. "The sister of Mark Blackthorn."

Alec averted his eyes. He wouldn't have been able to handle Aline's facial expression. Lydia shifted from one foot to another, probably regretting that she even asked.

"She was my fiancée," Aline continued. "We would have gotten married this year." Alec felt embarrassment, guilt, creep up on him. However, he kept his eyes on Lydia. They both had similar stories. How would his companion from 2 react ? Was she going to apologise ? Or was she going to shoot a defensive move ?

"She was reaped, nobody else volunteered and I was too much of a coward to step up. Now she is dead."

Alec trailed his eyes back to the environment around them. He wasn't trying to ignore the conversation because it was important. It was mostly because he felt like he was intruding. He really wasn't good with this kind of emotions. He really wasn't good with them.

"Usually it's glory and victory that brings one to the games. Sometimes it's losses, but sometimes it's a need for redemption." Lydia's words seemed to hit home.

"More than you know." Aline smiled in response. It was an unspoken gesture of respect and understanding.

Alec looked at Lydia. He remembered her pain, the way she talked of John, the way she talked about wanting to win and be a victor of the games for herself because of a promise. How she had maybe cried a little bit on his shoulder. Just enough to bind her to him. Just enough to seal the deal between them. His mind trailed toward his own family. He was here for them. He was here for the Lightwood name. He was here because he would finally be able to clear his family name. He was here for a redemption that was completely different from either of theirs. He almost would have felt shame for it if it weren't for the games. They all wanted to be able to make their own choices and live a life they had chosen to live. They all wanted to be free.

"Not to interrupt this touching moment, but I'm certain we can have a longer talk once we have set up camp and we're out of range of any possible surprise attacks."

Meliorn broke the silence, and everybody was thankful for it. The tension had become uncomfortable, uncomfortable for Alec at least. He was glad Meliorn gave them a way to close this off. Aline squeezed Meliorn's shoulder in thankfulness and took the lead.

She guided them forth. It was less exhausting to be walking in the daylight. The house was on a higher end. The ground elevated slightly. It was huge and it only consisted of one room. The ceilings were high and you couldn't even distinguish the beams because there wasn't enough light that went high enough. They all hoped there wouldn't be any creatures hiding in the dark. Meliorn had enough energy to gather the wood for the fireplace when the sunset would come. Alec divided the newly arrived sponsor gifts equally. It was mostly food. They had also gotten another small shovel. Which had raised many questions between them. There was a joke that they perhaps had to dig their own graves. It had made Alec roll his eyes.

Aline fell asleep almost instantly after having eaten. She probably needed one more day before being fully healed. They hadn't gotten any extra medicine nor equipment when the new gifts arrived; there was still no bow. Alec tried not to be disappointed. He had checked and tried but the wood wasn't bendable enough for him to make an improvised bow and of course they didn't have a type of cord he could make or use for it. He still had a feather-staff, he wasn't in real need for him to have a bow. But it would have been convenient. The fact he hadn't been sponsored for a weapon started to taste sour in his mouth. He still had to prove himself.

He rested against the wall. There was still a lot of light outside. It felt safer to sleep during the day. The Huntress had yet to come out to hunt during those short daylight hours. Alec looked at the ceiling. His eyes felt like they were on fire - in need of rest - he drank from his bottle. He really hoped there wasn't another spider hidden in the darkness of the ceiling. Because that would definitely forfeit any possible slumber.

"You should sleep." He looked at Lydia who was securing the few windows they could access from where they were.

"I am not tired." He wasn't. He was exhausted. But he was unable to sleep. He had been unable to sleep for days now.

"Maybe it's time for you to allow yourself to feel tired." He frowned and shrugged. He didn't want to. Someone had to keep watch. Someone had to take care of things.

"Alec…" The way she phrased it was a lot like a scolding. "Go and sleep. We got this."

He smirked up at her. He wanted to contradict her. He wanted to tell her no. But his joints ached; his muscles were crying out; his head was heavy. He was in pain.

"Fine," he gritted between his teeth, "but not too long."

When he closed his eyes he was done for. Of course he didn't know for how long. Of course there were at least quite some hours where he failed to keep up a light sleep and when he finally did : it was surprisingly dreamless. When he started to come back into consciousness he felt surprisingly weightless. It was as if he was floating gradually… and literally ?

He opened his eyes to see himself and his face a good ten centimetres from the ground. He jolted and his state of weightlessness got confirmed. He almost body slammed himself into the wall. He was about to talk until he heard the conversation of his allies going back and forth above his head. They were laughing. He turned around. The small windows that had been near the floor, had morphed into tall windows that spread over almost the entire length of the wall, and they let in most of the moonlight. The night had fallen on the arena once more. The fireplace lit up most of the dark around him. But the floating witchlights were the ones illuminating the darkest spaces around the ceiling. He didn't understand exactly how or what was happening.

"Catch !"

Meliorn tried to catch the candy with his mouth that Lydia had just thrown at him. His hair was floating as if it was underwater. "Anti-gravity, huh ?" He muttered to himself. He didn't feel the blood rush toward his head as he completely clumsily found himself upside down. All of their material was floating as well. He secured a backpack that was about to fall open.

"Hey Alec, join us !" Lydia was waving at him. He unfastened his feather-staff. It impeded his movements. He felt a bit out of sorts on how to navigate in this gravity-less environment. But he got the hang of it quickly enough for him to not feel embarrassed. It was strange. He had never experienced something like this. He felt a bit of excitement prickle down his spine, maybe even through his fingers. His allies were a bit far up, almost completely at the ceiling.

It was effortless to get to them. He discarded his robe. It felt nicer to move without. Aline was turning around in circles. She was upside down. "It happened a few minutes ago." She said. Her smile was the brightest it had been in days.

Lydia was grabbing another sweet from her trousers. "Here, catch !" Driven by a sense of playfulness Alec opened his mouth and fished after the green star-shaped candy. The communal cheer when he caught it was loud. It made his stomach flutter. Then he did something he hadn't done in days: he smiled. He couldn't have kept it in even if he wanted to. It was a genuine smile that was mirrored by both Meliorn and Lydia. They continued their silly game again and again, another high five, another cheer. Alec couldn't remember when the last time had been when he had been able to relax. His worries faded away little by little. He knew he should be worried of the gamemakers making them slam down and break their bones. He knew he shouldn't let himself slide into comfort. But right now he didn't care. Right now, just for a few minutes, he wanted to be able to forget and let loose.