The girls versus boys snowball fight degenerated when Dinah added herself to the fray. She'd been inside with Babs and Helena, neither of whom wanted to get in the middle of what Babs was calling 'Snowmageddon', but Dinah was always game for a fight.
Jay, who had tried to sneak up on the ammo dump and gotten hit simultaneously by Lian and Kala, spat snow and complained. "Hey, no fair having all three metas on the same team. We gotta re-balance this."
That earned him a mocking laugh from his girl, still floating above him from her assault position of moments before. "What's it matter? Don't be a sore loser, Red. Lian's not a meta."
"He just doesn't like losing to a girl," Dinah teased.
Kala's eyes sparkled; he could see it from down here. She'd dumped her bag by the door, safe from any potential falling snow, when all of this started and joined in enthusiastically. Almost too enthusiastically. "Yeah, well, he definitely has issues today then, huh?" At that, that gorgeous face of hers was the very definition of challenge.
Scoffing, Jay held up his hands. "You know better. Time out! Let's redo the teams."
Dick, who had been repeatedly pelted with snowballs by Donna and Dinah, scrubbed a hand through his hair to dislodge the worst of it. "OG heroes versus the next generation?" he offered.
Jay rolled his eyes. "OG? Really? You wouldn't know gangsta if you fell over it. If anyone here's OG, it's me."
Kala groaned audibly, sinking from her hover to touch down gently next to him. Jay thought about flipping her off, but remembered Lian in time. He crossed his arms. "Fine, Dickie-Bird. You get Donna and Dinah, so you've still got more metas, but that means I get K and Lian. They're the deadliest anyway."
"So you don't mind if the teams aren't balanced as long as you're winning?" Donna challenged.
"I never said it was unbalanced. I just said Kala and Lian score the most hits. Doesn't stop you from pulling defense. Now, you gonna play? Or complain?" Jay gave Donna a smirk, and she rolled her eyes at him.
"Of course you have to steal Kala all over again," Donna said.
"All day, every day," Jay replied, and saw Kala's brow quirk up. He grinned, and told her, "Some OG Titan whom I will not name, but who rhymes with sauna, complained about me snatching up the fresh meat to be my partner and not letting you work with anyone else."
He had fully anticipated the horrified look she shot him and grinned all the more fiercely. "Fresh meat?" Kala said, disbelievingly, enunciating both syllables with a sour look in his direction.
"You heard me," Jay taunted her.
Tim looked at them both dubiously. "Are we talking about in the sense of a restaurant, or a prison?" That, at least, got a snort out of Kala.
"Enough," Donna scolded, as Roy dissolved into snickering laughter. "Fine. Originals versus next gen. Starting … now."
Jay fired the snowball he'd been making behind his back the whole time, catching Dick right in the face. He then got clobbered by a snowball from Donna, and Kala retaliated for him. Jay tried to target Roy and Dick, but he couldn't help being distracted. Donna and Kala had squared off, and their powers were pretty well matched. All the folks on the ground saw was an absolute storm of snowballs going back and forth.
"You split up the metas and they cancel each other out," Tim said musingly, as he and Lian peeked out from behind the snow fort.
Jay figured there was some kind of lesson in there somewhere. Donna and Kala were so wholly focused on each other, they couldn't help their teams – but everyone at ground level was catching the fallout from their battle, too.
Fifteen minutes of running around like a psycho, heaving snowballs at people he'd grown up respecting, and occasionally seeing a snowball the size of a basketball go soaring past above him, all managed to restore Jay's equilibrium. It was weird, for sure, playing in the snow with a bunch of literal superheroes.
Dick was the one who called time, next, and it was a good thing they were all in excellent condition. Otherwise the strenuous exercise in the cold would've been a recipe for hypothermia. When Dick would've called a general pause to the game, Lian looked at him so sadly that they went for one more round of Lian versus everyone. Or as Jay thought of it, assassin practice.
He got tagged out third, this round, and found a tree to lean against while Lian hunted down the rest. The game had gradually moved down the sloping back yard, toward the woods, but there was nothing out there that could be more dangerous than an Amazon and a Kryptonian. Both of whom were still in the game … until Lian fired three snowballs into Dick's chest after he was already out, and Donna stopped to chide her gently for being overly enthusiastic. Lian had hidden a fourth snowball and caught Donna mid-sentence.
Laughing, Donna picked Lian up and flipped her upside-down. "What're you doing, squeaker?"
"Bein' devious!" Lian laughed, kicking her feet delightedly.
Kala was the last one, and she was simply too fast for Lian. Jay saw her softening, and knew any minute now K would let herself get tagged … but as she drifted closer to him, he saw an opportunity, and took it.
"Sudden and inevitable betrayal!" Jay yelled, charging as if he meant to run at Lian. The little girl squealed, flinging a snowball at him – but he changed direction at the last second and launched himself at Kala.
She was hovering, and he leaped horizontally, like a football tackle. Jay meant to knock her to the ground and roll her around a little, maybe sneak in a squeeze of that glorious Kryptonian ass, but she hadn't been expecting the attack at all. His body mass moving at speed knocked her further sideways than Jay had ever expected.
And the ground must have sloped more sharply than he thought, because all of a sudden Jay found himself upside-down in a snow drift. For a moment he simply froze in surprise, and then he tentatively tried moving his arms. Kala's voice came to him, muffled by snow but still plainly peevish. "Jay, what the hell?"
"Um, shit," he muttered, and kicked his legs.
"You freaking goofball," Kala laughed, and the crust of snow around Jay's shins broke. The next thing he knew, Kala had exploded out of the snowbank with a high-pitched yelp, and Jay found himself loose of the snow's cold embrace but now lying in a heap at the bottom of a crater in what had been a pristine drift moments ago.
Righting himself, he looked up to see Dick, Dinah, and Roy laughing hysterically, Donna and Tim shaking their heads, and Lian looking curiously upward. From somewhere above, Kala's voice floated down. "There is snow in my bra, Mr. Todd. I am not pleased. If there wasn't a literal child present I would be telling you explicitly how displeased I am."
He must've shaken some loose when he started to move, and Jay laughed as he clawed his way out of the snow. Kala hovered in midair, looking frosted. "Come down here, you look ridiculous."
"I look ridiculous? Like you have room to talk. Hold on, let me fly back home real quick and grab a mirror so you can see how ridiculous you look. You're like the world's most dangerous powdered doughnut."
That got Donna laughing, too. "She's got a point. You really didn't think that through, did you?"
"Hey, I've got snow down my shirt, too. I'm just not complaining out loud," Jay replied. He dusted the worst of the snow off his jacket, and looked up at Kala, still hovering irritably. "Seriously, come down. We might as well go inside and change. Let the rest of them play for a while."
Dinah chuckled. "Go on, kids. Kala, I doubt it could hurt you, but Jay might actually get frostbite."
The arch look on her face seemed to make it clear that she'd almost let him suffer. Only she could make aggravation look that good, her gaze sharp. "I'm trying to decide if I trust you enough to let you anywhere near me, Mr. Inevitable Betrayal," Kala grumbled.
Jay sighed, turning his back on her and heading for the door. "Well, it's either that, or I steal your bag and run inside…"
"Enough, you complete heathen. Gimme." Kala was suddenly beside him, before he could ever reach the bag, and she was kind enough despite her irritation to brush snow off his back. "Mission accomplished; we're seriously both coated and I'm wet to the skin. Just for curiosity's sake, how did that look in your head? Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't like that."
Scoffing at his own mistake, Jay told her, "Well, I thought the ground was closer and we'd enough up rolling across it. Not taking a dive." He got the door for Kala, both of them stomping the snow off their boots. Kala had grabbed her bag away from his hand, and settled it on her shoulder. Once the door was shut behind them, and he could see there was no one in the hallway listening, Jay added with an arched brow, "I also figured it'd be a good excuse for both of us to go upstairs."
Jay could see the instant look of startled surprise cross her face before Kala glared up at him as they shrugged out of their coats and hung them up. "Really? No. You knocked me into a snowbank, Jay! I'm freezing."
"I didn't know the snowbank was there. And you're not freezing. You're solar-powered, your core temp is probably a hundred and four," Jay shot back. They also left their boots by the door, not wanting to track snow through the house. "Also, I actually missed you. A lot. The house is full of people who are okay, I guess, but they're not you." With that and another wondering look, he kissed her again, even more soundly than before.
Kala started to melt into it before remembering she was annoyed with him for the snow melting under her shirt. She shot him another glare and grumbled under her breath, but she led the way to the stairs – and his room instead of hers. "I might forgive you sometime before I have to leave. Maybe. Even if you are a dirty double-crosser," she told him, pulling her dark blue sweater off the moment he closed the door behind them.
Jay was right there, instantly, stripping his gloves off hastily to help her by unhooking her bra. And then yanking his shirt off and kissing her shoulder, wrapping his arms still clad in the warm thermal undershirt around her torso. "Did I mention I missed you? A lot?"
"Maybe a little," Kala replied, a purring note in her voice. She wrapped her arms around his with a sigh, leaning back into him and swaying in his embrace, so warm and trusting. "Although … I remember something about a younger female trying to put the moves on you. Might have to call you to task on that one."
"We're talking about a damn cat that weighs less than my shoes," Jay replied. "I need an actual woman in my life. The more superb, the better."
That was followed by a pained, dismayed sound, then a groan. "Oh God, not the puns, not like this."
Jay took the opportunity to slip one hand down the front of her jeans. Immediately, he felt her hips arch into his touch, murmuring softly. "Sometimes you like the puns. And at least you know I like cats."
Yeah, it was vaguely obscene and got him just the response he was hoping for right now; K was only so much of a good-girl. Kala laughed, low and throaty, leaning back against him. "Can you even make that joke with Selina around?"
"She did, when I complained about the weirdo cat sticking her nose in my mouth," Jay muttered, but he was rapidly losing any ability to care about actual cats, or anything or anyone outside this room. He nuzzled Kala's shoulder, tugging her jeans down past her hips.
Catching her breath in a gasp, Kala's tone was completely different. Warm, amused, sensual. And more than a little needy. Just what he wanted. "Little impatient there, Robin?"
"Not Robin anymore. And not 'little' anything," Jay told her, nipping at her neck. One quick shove left her jeans pooled around her feet.
He had to bend down slightly to get them off, which left him looking directly at the back of her panties. Never an unwelcome sight, but in honor of the holiday, Kala was wearing a dark green pair with three boxes on it. 'Nice' and 'Naughty' were both blank; the checked box read 'I Tried'.
The one thing Jay had not expected, when he finally got Kala half-naked again in his bedroom, was to laugh out loud.
She laughed with him, knowing he'd seen it, turning as Jay stood up again to put her arms around his neck with a grin. "Glad you like them. I almost bought a pair that said 'Kiss me under the mistletoe', but they actually had holly on them instead. I can't handle botanical inaccuracy."
This was nothing like what he imagined being with a Super would be like. And it was everything Jay wanted and needed in life. "Now I'm gonna hafta fuck you just for being able to use 'botanical inaccuracy' in a sentence," he teased, and kissed her.
Kala kissed him back with interest, then whispered against his lips, "Promises, promises, Mr. Hood. I missed you, too."
Jay slid his hands down her sides, appreciating every curve. "Lemme show you how much," he said huskily.
…
When Jay wanted to spoil her, he really spoiled her. Kala had been annoyed with him as they went back inside – and she didn't buy his story that this was all part of his master plan to get them some alone time, either. It still worked out that way.
And apparently he was taking her joke about the mistletoe panties seriously; she was already burying her face in the pillow to muffle her cries, and he hadn't bothered to get his pants off yet. One of the things she liked best about him was how he could zero in on something, like kissing her shoulders or rubbing her back, and just focus on doing that for a while. Jay wasn't in a hurry to get to the main event; as far as he saw it, everything was the main event. And right now, with him on his knees beside the bed and her legs over his shoulders, he acted like he could stay down there forever.
Kala threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him up a little as her second orgasm faded into bliss. "Get up here," she demanded, her voice husky. "C'mon, Jay, I want all of you."
He smiled crookedly up at her, and Kala's heart seized. Probably no one else got to see that kind of look from Jay, so full of warmth and affection – and desire. He stood up, shucking off the rest of his clothes, and Kala watched avidly with heat pooling low in her belly. He was just too damned fucking handsome, starting from those vivid eyes and encompassing that smile, that jaw, every sculpted muscle, and even every scar. Proof that he was a survivor, that this man she needed so much never gave up, he lived and thrived in spite of everything the world threw at him, and he came out of it with a wicked sense of humor and the sweetest kind of tenderness, too.
"See something you like?" Jay teased, and Kala just grinned up at him, arching a wave through her body that brought him down beside her. "Yeah, I could look at you all day, too."
"This isn't a museum. You can't break anything, Red. Why look when you can touch?" Kala asked, and did so, mapping the planes of his body. Jay did the same for her, and for a while it was like one of their first times, all hunger, need, and exploration. As if she could've forgotten anything even in the long days apart; Jay showed up in Kala's dreams, engraving her memories even deeper.
She'd missed this so much, missed him so much. Jay had rapidly become an essential part of her life. Kala could run solo, and often had, but her preference was to be with someone who complemented and challenged her. In all areas of her life. Jay was the best partner she could ever ask for in the field, and was undeniably the best lover she'd ever had.
When he broke away long enough to grab a condom from the nightstand, Kala bit her lip. Those words were on the tip of her tongue all too often, lately. This was love, she knew it, it wasn't just sex, and she knew he knew it – just as well as she knew he'd never say it. Love had a way of exploding in his face, and as long as he didn't name it, Jay could revel in it. Kala, who told her family and friends and partners that she loved them on a daily basis, accepted that. She could live without the words when their meaning was so woven into every interaction.
The way he came to her, his arms around her body, his hips fitting between her thighs, leaning down to kiss her first, that was how Jay said he loved her. And the way he rested his forehead against hers when they were fully joined, just savoring the closeness, the intimacy, before she wrapped her legs around him and he set up an irresistible rhythm.
In the heat of the moment, they were all passion, hungry kisses and eager hands and the breathless immediacy of pleasure. Until she pressed her face hard against his shoulder to muffle her scream of his name, until he echoed her with far less attempt to quiet the sound. In the trembling moments afterward, silent except for both of them trying to catch their breath, they had gentleness again, Kala pressing soft kisses to his cheek and jaw.
Jay finally sighed, and looked at her with satisfaction in those breathtaking eyes. "I thought I was just kinda … over-dramatizing how fucking good you are. Since I missed you so much and all. Nope, if anything I was underestimating."
"I think that was my line," Kala told him softly, just letting herself feel awash in this warmth, and kissed him again. "Let me catch my breath again, and you know I'll show you good."
Jay chuckled softly. "Merry Christmas to me. Y'know, you really do give the best presents."
And he was still teasing her about his birthday. Even all these months later. Some things never changed. "Shut up, you," Kala laughed, and distracted him.
…
Jay woke up, realizing only as he did so that he'd dozed off snuggled up with Kala in the afterglow of round two. For a moment, he couldn't figure out what had woken him, and then he felt the faintest pressure along his side.
He lifted his head and looked at fluffy Norway, stepping across from his hip to Kala's. "Really? How the fuck do you do that, cat?"
"Maow," was his only answer, as Norway walked up to Kala's shoulder. The cat settled herself down into a furry little loaf, purring loudly.
Kala cracked open one eye, looking toward the cat. "Well hello, pretty one," she said, her voice a little hoarse from trying to stifle it earlier, looking delighted and amused. Jay took an obscene kind of pride in that huskier-than-usual tone. Then again, she was a professional singer who could reach the back of the amphitheater without a mic, so she had to keep it down here. Especially with the entire family in the house.
They had to know, of course, but there was a difference between knowing Jay and Kala had snuck off to have sex, and hearing it through the whole Manor. Not that Jay really gave a shit. No one could trash-talk him for it. Dick and Babs had done it in the freakin' Batmobile, and he didn't let himself think about Bruce's many, many hookups.
Jay let a sigh. "I need to figure out how that cat keeps getting in here. I'm not keeping her. Selina's got five sisters, and they each picked one of us to hang out with. Dick got the friendly one, Bruce got the weird one, Alfred got the shy one, and Tim got the quiet one. Somehow I got the tiny fuzzball that tries to boss every other cat around."
Kala had started petting the cat's head, a soft smile on her face, and murmured, "Hmm, the one that figured out pretty quickly that, no matter how much bigger you are than her, you'd never hurt her? Smart little girl."
"Pain in the ass. Did I mention she stuck her snotty little nose in my mouth? Like just jammed her whole muzzle under my lip?" Jay tried to look offended, but even he found it funny now.
Kala laughed openly as Norway leaned into her touch. Yeah, K was thoroughly enchanted. "How can you be mad at her? She's so tiny. And so cute."
"Ask Selina if you can take her home. I can barely take care of myself, I don't need a pet," Jay said. He had to admit that Norway in particular was cute. Sometimes he saw her in low light, and all there was to her was a puff of black floof with pointy ears and two big green eyes. Charming little beast.
Kala just chuckled, still petting the cat. "I live on the road half the time. It wouldn't be fair. Besides, I wouldn't want to split up the family. Maybe this little girl and her sisters will just end up living in the Manor. I'd love to see her around. She's a sweetheart."
Jay scoffed. "Don't let Alfred hear that, he'll have conniptions. The big weirdo that likes Bruce, Batty? She demands a tithe of cheese every time Alfred cooks. And she got stuck in the garland earlier. Damn thing was swinging back and forth like a pendulum ten feet off the ground. Selina had to tell her to jump, and somehow caught the cat."
For a moment, Kala looked horrified, then she burst into laughter. That honest ringing, silvery laughter that just lit up a room. "Of course the troublemaker picks Uncle Bruce."
But that high laugh was just a little too loud for one of the room's occupants, and Norway flattened her ears slightly, giving a protesting maow! For a moment, K just looked at her with wide-eyed surprise, but then couldn't help biting her lip. Yep, Norway had claimed another victim. "Oh my God, she's too cute. This is worse than kryptonite."
Jay just rolled his eyes. "We better get up before she starts telling us off for being lazy. Selina said she left this one un-fixed longer, so she thinks she's everyone's mom."
"Aww, but if we get up she has to move," Kala crooned as the cat stretched her head out for more petting. It was probably just the shape of her face, but Norway looked like she was smiling smugly, and Jay scoffed. Kala narrowed her eyes slightly. "Don't sulk. If she wasn't sitting on top of the blanket, I'd flip the covers back and give you something to look at so you won't make her move."
He couldn't help a snort of laughter at that. "Well you've come a long way from my birthday."
Oh, the grumpy little look she gave him at that. She couldn't hide her blush, both of them clearly remembering that moment well, but her eyes sparkled with merriment. "That was different. You've seen it all by now. No sense in trying to keep a sense of mystery."
"Oh, you'll always have a little mystery. At least now you're not shy anymore, and I get to look all I want." With that, Jay scooped Norway up and flung the covers off Kala.
She yelped, Norway whined and jumped down to hide under the bed, and Kala thwacked Jay with a pillow. The naked wrestling that ensued almost turned into another round, but Norway jumped up onto the footboard and yelled again. "For fucks' sake, I'm being cockblocked by an animal smaller than the last burrito I ate," Jay complained.
Kala laughed and tousled his hair. "We need to get up anyway. The rest of them probably think we're dead."
Jay grumbled about it, but they did eventually get up and make themselves presentable. He knew exactly what they'd be walking into downstairs, and readied himself to troll anyone who dared say anything. Kala scooped up Norway, who happily rode on her shoulder with Kala still cooing to her.
Everyone except Lian was in the living room, and all of them turned to look when Jay and Kala walked in. She froze, just now realizing their situation, but Jay just smiled and waited for the first salvo. Tim looked disgusted. Dick, Roy, and Selina were all grinning. Bruce and Helena paid no attention. Babs just arched a brow and shook her head. Donna glanced at him and then looked away – Jay could feel a little bit bad for her, with enhanced hearing.
And it was Dinah who fired the first shot, smirking at them. "Wow. It only took you two and a half hours to change clothes. That's a new record for least efficient changing."
With a groan, Kala dropped her head on his shoulder like an embarrassed teenager. Yep, she thought that the one breakfast reveal was the worst it could get. Not her fault for not expecting the level of hazing, though he probably should have warned her better. Jay himself shrugged. Oh well, in for a penny, in for a fucking pound. "Well, you know how it is. Once we both got naked, we remembered we haven't seen each other for two weeks, so at that point the fucking was pretty much inevitable."
The look that she turned on him for that was absolutely hysterical, wide-eyed and outraged and every bit a Super. "Jay!" Kala hissed, turning beet red.
"I thought it's been more like a month," Dick commented.
"Good thing Lian's down for a nap," Roy said, shaking his head.
Dinah just chuckled. "Good thing you finally decided to show up. We almost finished off the pie without you."
Jay was about to comment on how that was a fate worse than death, when Selina drawled, "If he's doing it right, Jay already had dessert." That broke everyone except Bruce up into open laughter.
K's blush increased about tenfold then. Yep, should've warned her. "Okay, that's it, you win. I'm dead. I'm done. I'm going to hide in the kitchen with the only person not mentioning my sex life," Kala said, slinking through the group of them. "At least Alfred loves me."
All of them regarded her with fond amusement, and Jay just dropped into a chair, basking in the trolling opportunity. "Hey, she is that sweet. Must be a Kryptonian thing."
From the direction of the kitchen came a horrified, "Jason Todd, I can hear you!"
"Don't listen, then, K," Jay called back and laughed. "Well, now you all know that Supers can blush. Congratulations."
"At least there's no glitter this time," Tim muttered.
"No, but there were cute Christmas-themed panties," Jay said.
Selina snickered at that. Miss Kitty was draped over her shoulders again, and she scratched the cat's chin as she mused, "I should ask her where she shops. The man in my life could use a little whimsy, too."
"You are my recommended daily dose of whimsy," Bruce replied, eyeing her. Only then did Jay notice that the big cat, Batty, was sitting on the back of his chair, occasionally grooming his hair.
"Minimum dosage. We need to hit maximum, to counteract your chronic grimdarkness," Selina taunted.
"Hey, he made snowballs for like an hour, he's been good today," Dick countered.
Jay frowned, and asked, "Where were you in all that, Selina? We could've used some stealth."
She glanced at him archly. "I was not getting into any kind of ranged fighting with a couple of metahumans. That's just not my kind of odds, Hood."
"It's not like we'd hurt you," Donna said, sounding a little hurt herself at the implication.
"Yes, but it's not something I can win, and I try to minimize fighting losing battles. Just being in a relationship with this guy maxes out my tolerance," Selina said, to more general amusement.
Jay just leaned back in his chair, savoring the feeling of home.
…
Mortified, Kala took refuge in the kitchen. Alfred was there, of course, with the mixer out and a couple of bowls standing ready. He had a cutting board out, and was finely chopping some peanuts as Kala walked in. "May I be of service, Miss Kala?" he asked, setting down the chef's knife.
"I'm just hiding from everyone else," Kala told him with a sheepish smile. "Carry on. All I need is to not be judged."
"No one in this house has any criteria by which they could possibly judge you," Alfred told her kindly. "We all know better than most that life is often shorter and more difficult than we would wish. There is no shame in enjoying the best parts of life – and the people we care for – to the fullest while we can."
And that was why it was utterly impossible to not love Alfred as much as humanly possible. Impulsively, Kala came forward and hugged him with no hesitation, and Alfred patted her hair affectionately. After a moment, she remembered to tell him, "By the way, Mom and Dad said to tell you merry Christmas."
"Do give them my best regards as well," he replied.
Kala finally stepped back, her heart considerably lightened. Alfred went to wash his hands before resuming his cooking, and Kala looked at the chopping board curiously. She asked, "All of them out there are nuts. You're a saint to deal with the lot of them, Alfred."
"No, my dear, I simply know my limits. It is not my duty to change any of their idiosyncrasies. Only to love them as they are, and protect and care for them as best I can." He dried his hands carefully on the towel, and returned to chopping.
Kala eyed the arranged ingredients, a hypothesis forming. Flour, two kinds of sugar, baking powder, baking soda, butter, eggs, and peanut butter chips plus the peanuts Alfred was chopping. "Are you making the famous peanut butter cookies? Should I turn my back so I don't see a state secret?"
Alfred gave her a conspiratorial grin. "I have heard that you've inherited your mother's love of baking. Would you like to help me?"
Kala was floored at the offer and smiled with affection and delight. If Alfred was willing to share this, she really had been accepted into the heart of the family. In awe, she nodded as eager as a child. "Like? I'd love to!" Kala exclaimed. That would be perfect, while the rest were out there trolling about her sex life, she'd be in here learning the super secret peanut butter cookie recipe.
Alfred beamed at her, sweeping the chopped nuts together into a small bowl. "Then you can be of assistance. I keep the secret ingredient in a high cupboard, and if you will fetch them down, I need not pause to get the stepladder."
"Gladly, what do you need?" Kala asked.
"The rest of the recipe first," Alfred said, and to her surprise, he gave her all the measurements for dry ingredients and wet. "You likely know this, but flour should be weighed. Volume is not an accurate measurement for something that settles. And unlike other cookie recipes, you must use more granulated sugar than brown. Brown sugar softens them, but these have enough softness already from the peanut butter."
Kala nodded. The only things she expected to see, and didn't, were peanut butter and vanilla. Given that this was Alfred, and Wayne Manor, she figured both were high-end, organic, possibly imported brands. "Okay, so dry ingredients stirred together in one bowl. I'm assuming you cream together the butter and sugars in the mixer?"
"Of course. It is worth noting that the butter should be room temperature – and that concept comes from England's rooms, not American ones. Our climate is colder, so room temperature is about 18 degrees Celsius. 65 degrees Fahrenheit, if you must," Alfred instructed. "Let the butter sit out on the counter for an hour or two. It should be cool to the touch, but soft. If you press a finger into it, like so, you'll make an indent, but it will not sink in nor slide about. Never microwave butter. That is a sacrilege. You'll end up with half melted butter, half cold butter, and your baked goods will not have the proper texture."
"Understood," Kala said. "Dad's the same way about butter temperature. Only he told us never to use heat-vision on it. Frankly, it tends to just get vaporized."
Alfred chuckled. "I do believe your heat-vision would be best applied to cooking methods adapted for short applications of high heat, such as stir-frying. Baking, however, is a science. Now, should you forget to leave your butter out, there is a trick to softening it."
"Do tell, because I always forget," Kala said. "And you're right, microwaving it ends up awful, the cookies always spread too much."
"First you cut the butter into slices, and place them into a microwave-safe bowl," Alfred told her. Kala arched a brow, and he smiled. "Then, put a glass of water in the microwave and heat it to boiling, two or three minutes. Once it's finished, take the water out and quickly put the butter in. The residual heat will soften it nicely."
"Ohh, that's smart," Kala said, her eyes widening.
"That, my dear, is the product of long experience and much research," Alfred told her.
With the butter and sugar creamed together, Alfred directed Kala to bring him a small unmarked bottle of dark liquid from the pantry. She saw several more bottles behind it, and recognized what was in the ones toward the back. "You make your own vanilla extract?" she asked him, impressed.
Alfred smiled at her. "Of course. Never use imitation. It is an abomination unfit for human consumption. Store-bought is well enough, but by making my own I can control the strength, and age it as well. It's a simple process. I use Tahitian vanilla beans, split lengthwise, and a good bourbon for the alcohol. You simply store them somewhere dark and cool, and shake them once a week or so. Letting the bottles age at least a year deepens the flavor."
Kala opened the bottle, and potent vanilla swamped her nose. "Oh yeah, I'm doing this as soon as I get home," she said. "That smells fantastic."
"You may take a bottle with you," Alfred said. "Consider it a gift. I make several bottles throughout the year. You can, of course, simply top up the alcohol as you use it, but I prefer to remove the beans and reuse them to make a new bottle."
"Thank you," Kala told him, smiling.
With the eggs and vanilla beaten in, Alfred directed her to the high cabinet. "You will find the secret ingredient on the left, toward the back," he told her.
It had to be some rare, magical brand of peanut butter, and Kala hovered to grab it. She pulled out a plastic jar with a screw lid … and dropped to the ground in shock when she saw the label. "Jif?!"
Alfred laughed merrily at her consternation. "I use all-natural fresh-made peanut butter in sandwiches and such. But for cookies, the highly-processed national brand is best. I pray you, tell no one."
"I know absolutely nothing. This might be why Jay loves these cookies so much," Kala said thoughtfully. "I know he never had organic natural peanut butter as a kid, but I bet this was in his parents' cabinet."
"That possibility had occurred to me as well," Alfred admitted.
They mixed the peanut butter in, then added the dry ingredients. Alfred took the mixing bowl off the stand mixer then, and folded in the peanut butter chips and finely chopped peanut pieces. "Now we let it chill for an hour," he told her. "Nearly all cookie doughs benefit from chilling. For gingerbread, it is essential. Once it is chilled, we will scoop it out and bake it for about thirteen minutes at 350 degrees. Of course, once we begin baking, the scent will summon Master Jason, so I always make a double batch."
Kala watched him affectionately. "Alfred, you know Jay's lucky to have you," she said quietly. "They all are. But Jay really needs someone like you in his life. He's not used to anyone noticing and caring about what he likes, and making sure he gets that."
Alfred placed one hand on her shoulder, and looked at her seriously. "Just as he needs you in his life, for much the same reasons."
