Sidney walked the park around Trafalgar House for some time. He worried over his behavior with Miss Heywood and if it had been terribly untoward. He knew himself to be a man of some compulsion, so he had reason to think that he had.
But she loved him! And that fact was sustaining him.
He admired her even more when she pressed him about his feelings, though it did also give him pause. That she doubted that he did make him wonder; but then he dismissed it, for he was, in fact, engaged to another. Of course she would doubt him.
His hands were folded behind his back as he took long strides in the grass.
"Mr Parker!" he looked up to see John Heywood walking toward him.
Sidney smiled and went to him. "Hello, Mr Heywood. I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."
"Allison was in a shop purchasing a new gown. She is one to be detained in such matters, and Charlotte and I have learned not to bother getting in between her and her fancies."
"Miss Allison Heywood is concerned with dresses and such? Miss Charlotte does not seem to be so inclined," Sidney observed.
"Well, Allison likes pretty things. I don't know if she is absorbed in material things, but if something strikes her as lovely, which happens every so often, she is apt to want it and make it her mission to have it. It can be a book, some flowers, a gown…anything with aesthetic beauty," John opened the door for Sidney. "Charlotte appreciates those things, but tends toward the cerebral loveliness of books and such. Allison's definition is more broad."
Sidney smiled and nodded. "Well. Nothing wrong with appreciating beauty," he walked into the parlor at that moment and caught Charlotte's eye. "Nothing at all," he said more to himself. "Good afternoon, Miss Heywood," he went to Charlotte and bowed. Then turned to Allison, "Miss Allison, how are you?"
"I'm well, thank you Mr Parker," she smiled.
He nodded. "And have you heard from our Mr Stringer?" he sat down.
"I have, yes. A letter came yesterday."
"And how is he in London?"
"He apologized for not being here, and promised his return Sunday afternoon."
Sidney glanced at Charlotte for a reaction. "I am happy he is so engaged with his work," she said. "He is a talented young man."
"Indeed he is, Charlotte," exclaimed Mary Parker. "We are fortunate to have him in Sandition. He told me recently he is intending on staying here after his apprenticeship."
"That is lucky," said John. "He can aid in the rebuilding even more."
"My thoughts exactly, Mr Heywood," replied Mary. "I understand you visited with Miss Lambe yesterday. How did you find her?"
"Miss Lambe is everything engaging," said John. "We spoke for over an hour, and I must admit I did not wish to leave. However, she seemed tired, and I thought it would be selfish of me to stay."
Charlotte looked at John. She wondered at his fascination with Georgiana. He never spoke with ladies much…though they sought his society due mainly to his looks, he was always dismissive. So much so that she began to wonder at his attraction to the opposite sex. But it had been her observation over the past year or so that John was merely exhausted by the niceties and the disingenuous nature of flirtation. He did not find joy in the playfulness of love. He wanted a companion, someone with whom he could share adventures and talk about them. Because he was not the firstborn son, he had some freedom there…
But because he was the second son, not too much.
The Heywood's were not, as was stated, destitute. In fact, had they had a reasonable amount of children, say five or six, they would have been quite comfortable. As it was, they were a brood.
Mr Heywood's land was extensive enough. The farm did well. He had tenants. He was a gentleman.
And he had five sons, so there was that.
But also six daughters, so that made it complicated.
But as she watched John talk about Georgiana, she thought that he was more animated than he had been in some time.
"Well, perhaps we could invite her for dinner here tomorrow, Sidney," said Mary, looking at him. "What do you think?"
"It's your house, Mary," said Sidney.
"It's settled, then," proclaimed Mary Parker.
Following luncheon they journeyed out to the shoreline. The clouds were gathering somewhat beyond the horizon, and Allison remarked how lucky it was to have escaped the rain. The air was heavy with moisture, and the humidity was taking its toll. August heat was never much of a consideration for sea dwellers because of the almost constant air movement, except when it was.
Charlotte fell back to walk with Sidney following a long time with Mr and Mrs Parker. "Looks as though it will rain later," she observed.
"So it does," he said, looking over at her and delighted at her presence.
"What do you think of John's appreciation of Georgiana?"
"What do you mean?"
"It seems as though my brother likes her very much."
Sidney cleared his throat. Georgiana was still full young…nineteen…"I'm happy that John likes her."
"Do you object?" Charlotte looked up at him.
"Well, they've only spent an hour in each other's company, Miss Heywood. I daresay there's nothing yet to object to."
"I believe you know what I'm suggesting," she said softly.
"Well," he slowed his pace. "Georgiana is nineteen."
"As is John."
"Legally, she has another year before anything regarding my interference in a match can be ignored."
Charlotte stopped. "Would you object? John is my most beloved sibling, Mr Parker. And if you value my opinion at all, you would believe me when I tell you that he is everything good and honorable."
"Of course I believe you, Ms Heywood. That is not at issue."
"What is, then?"
He sighed. What the issue was, was that Sidney was obliged to take a long look at any suitor, no matter who they were. Georgiana's fortune made her a target, as was evidenced by the unfortunate events mere months ago. Her race also made her a target, but for much more nefarious reasons. "Please, come with me, Miss Heywood…" he took her elbow. He led her back toward Trafalgar House, away from the others.
"What is it, Mr Parker?" she sounded exasperated.
"Believe me, Miss Heywood, I do not want to have this conversation. But it appears it must be done," he gestured for her to sit on a bench under a tree.
She sat and looked up at him, expecting him to sit as well. When he didn't, she folded her hands in her lap.
Sidney swallowed. "As you are well aware, Georgiana's fortune makes her prey for those in want of it…which, regrettably, is a large segment of the population," he added softly.
"If you are suggesting that John is a fortune hunter…he doesn't even know of the vastness of…" she nearly spat the words.
"I'm not," he interrupted. "I'm merely explaining why I am on my guard where she is concerned," he nodded. "And what John will need to contend with, should he pursue her," he looked away. "Additionally, there is the matter of Georgiana's race. I cannot claim to understand what she feels, being here in England where scarcely anyone looks like her and where her appearance attracts mostly derision, but I know that she is exceedingly uncomfortable," he looked again at Charlotte. "Anyone who loves her will need to contend with this fact. It has been my belief that she would return to Antigua when she turns twenty, and I was not going to stand in her way."
Charlotte looked at him, her mouth slightly open. That was a lot to consider. "I see," was all she said.
He smiled very slightly. "So, Miss Heywood, it is not that I object to your brother. But their acquaintance is so very new, and he would need to truly think about what he is doing," now he sat next to her. "Yet this might be for naught. They have spent an hour in one another's company. Surely they are not in love."
"No. I don't believe that they are. But John's regard is not easily won, and he is not ordinarily touched by the attention of young ladies. His dotage is unusual."
"No? But he is quite a handsome young man. He is amicable and warm…he is not destitute…"
Charlotte smiled. "He is all of those things and more. But John is put off by the frivolity of the business of love. He desires a companion…something strong and meaningful."
"I can well believe it. I have found him to be quite deliberate in his manner and speech."
"Yes. Quite…" and she found herself staring at him. Charlotte did not dwell on physical appearance, but Sidney Parker was among the most handsome men she had occasion to meet. She thought that the moment she had beheld him on that walk many months ago now, with Mrs Parker.
She must have looked too long, for he looked away, and she felt the heat rise on her neck.
"Shall we continue on with the others, or turn back to the house?"
She swallowed, and dropped her gaze. "I …" she didn't know what she wanted to do just then, except be with Sidney. "Perhaps we might sit here and wait for them."
"As you like," he said.
She was inclined to ask if he'd heard from Ms Campion, but was loathe to do it. She wasn't certain she wanted to know, anyway. "Did you speak with Mrs Parker about the party?"
"I did. She is very much looking forward to it."
"And when is she planning on holding it?"
"Next Saturday evening. The night before I return to London," he added softly.
Charlotte nodded. "Well, that is convenient, I suppose."
He swallowed. "What do you think of a picnic, Miss Heywood?"
"Beg your pardon? What do I think of a picnic?" she smiled.
"Yes. Tomorrow…I was thinking that tomorrow we might pack a lunch and head to the shore. Perhaps have a game of cricket…nothing terribly organized, but with my brother, your brother, Miss Allison…" he looked at her. "You. I recall you being a formidable player."
"Thank you. That would be lovely."
"Excellent," he smiled.
At that, Charlotte felt a drop of rain hit her bonnet. She looked up to see heavy, grey clouds looming. "It's beginning to rain, Mr Parker," she said, and stood.
"Come," he took her hand…
And they began their descent to Trafalgar House, the clouds opening and the water soaking them…
Charlotte laughed as they ran, she stumbled once, but Sidney kept her from falling. He joined in her laughter…
And he thought that he never laughed in such a way with Eliza…that indeed, Charlotte was one of the only people who could inspire such gaiety in him.
They reached the house quite soaked through. "Oh, my clothes!" she laughed.
He caught his breath. "Mary surely has something that will suit," he replied, swallowing and smiling at her.
Charlotte nodded. "I'm certain you're right."
And then he noticed he was still holding her hand. He dropped it, then looked at her. He swallowed. "Allow me," and he stepped toward her…then untied her bonnet. He took it off, and hung it on a hook to dry.
"Thank you," she said softly.
…and he thought that he would love nothing more than to help her further, but not only was that inappropriate, it was also indecent and unbecoming of a gentleman. "Not at all," he smiled. He stepped back and took off his overcoat.
Charlotte watched as he did this, and believed she was becoming overwrought…her senses were heightened, and her face flushed scarlet. She tore her eyes away and left him there to find Mrs Parker.
"When Mr Stringer returns, we will need to speak with him about his ideas for rebuilding. As it happens, we were to tear down a few structures because remodeling them would be too expensive. And now that they are all but destroyed, we might be able to use them after all," Tom was animated in his conversation. They were all seated for dinner.
But Sidney felt a pang as soon as James Stringer was mentioned. "When does the man return?" he asked.
"Sunday," supplied Allison.
He nodded. "Well, I hope he can draw up plans, Tom. It would be fortunate to have ideas for the rebuilding."
"Yes exactly. What's more, perhaps the cost would be effected if we aren't tearing things down."
"Happy thought," Sidney smiled.
Charlotte swallowed. Her head hurt with the mention of the cost of the rebuild. She looked at her plate, and was suddenly not hungry any longer. She took a long draught of her wine and folded her hands.
John noticed and attempted to gain her eye.
When she did look at him, he offered a questioning look.
How could she convey that the mention of the rebuilding reminded her of Sidney's engagement? And now…now it was becoming increasingly difficult to admit this fact. The more time she spent in his company, the more she loved him. It was torturous.
But neither could she fathom being apart from him this last week, when he was to be off again to London. It will likely be the final days of their acquaintance.
It broke her heart all over again.
She took a napkin and wiped her mouth. "Excuse me," she said, and stood.
Sidney watched her, and began to rise, but John caught his gaze and clandestinely shook his head. He followed Charlotte out.
"Charlotte!" he called as she went out the side entrance. There was a covered porch area she had often sat in during the spring.
She stopped. "John," she smiled.
"You're unwell."
"I'm not. Just…" she cleared her throat. "Just a bit sad, that's all."
"About Sidney?" he asked softly.
She nodded. "I'm being silly. I know this can never be…but it's becoming increasingly difficult…"
"What is?"
"Being around him. I fear that I'm falling deeper…" she laughed. "Fancy all of this, John. I'm a simpering fool," she sat on a bench.
"You're not a fool, Charlotte. Not in the slightest," he sat next to her.
"I feel like a fool."
"Your circumstances are such that anyone would behave as you are. No one can blame you."
"I'm a glutton for punishment."
"Have the two of you done anything…improper?"
She looked at him. "John! What do you think of me?"
"Apologies. But love makes fools of us all."
Charlotte smiled. She watched the rain fall and soak the tableau. "Mr Sidney Parker wants to have a picnic and a cricket tomorrow. What are your thoughts?"
"Well, I suppose my thoughts are, I hope the rain stops."
She laughed. "Then you are agreeable?"
John looked at her. "I am. And especially so since you are."
She swallowed. "What am I going to do, John?"
"You are going to live your life for as long as it will allow it with Sidney Parker. You will put all thoughts of his engagement from your mind while you are able. And," he took her hand. "You will play and win at cricket tomorrow, just as you always have."
Charlotte squeezed his hand.
A/N: Thank you for reading! I am thinking this will be about 12 chapters, so we are more than half way through! I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I am!
