Again, you all are wonderful. Seriously, I am so grateful to have such amazing, loyal readers. I am planning on updating a little more quickly for the time being (no promises, but we'll see). Trying to make everything fall into place. I hope everyone is staying safe out there!
-Cat
Chapter 26
Death/Life
The First Moon
Bone fingers rattled and unraveled crinkled parchment. Liam seemed to be unraveling with it.
"He m-made me lie," he whispered. As he spoke, he flattened out the piece of parchment, drew a battered, self-inking quill from the lining of his jacket. "But I'm going to tell the truth now."
Slowly, his hands could barely hold the quill, he wrote something down, letter by letter.
"And at least I can confess to you. Knew this moment would come. I'll die before the moon comes. No blood on your hands."
"What-"
"That's how the Unbreakable Vow works." Liam paused in his tremulous writing to look Remus dead in the eyes. "You were right to ask, that night. And you were a fool."
Finally, understanding dawned through the haze of desperation. Here was the gray area. Liam refusing to tell Mad-Eye why his son was dead, Liam's denial of any involvement with the Death Eaters, his mysterious reappearance the month before with no explanation. Liam's plan.
Liam was still speaking, mechanically, words clicking from his throat.
"After Ileana died, I abandoned Euri. In turn, he abandoned reason, searching desperately for a way to bring the dead to life. And when that failed he began to… to spiral, trying to explain why we feel pain and loss. Why we shouldn't. Yes, I found him again. But the Dark Lord found him first. I always regretted… I learned the truth, a truth he… he used my guilt, forced me into the Vow… never to tell… he knew. He knew."
Ragged inhale. Phrases Remus couldn't follow intervened with sense. Liam finished the last letter and crumbled the parchment into a ball in his fist. His dead, resigned expression lit with something like relief as he spoke again. This time, it was clear and unbroken.
"Eurion Pyrites is a Death Eater in He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's innermost circle." The words rang through his own grave. "And he told me this. Sixteen years ago, Ileana Durand was murdered by the Dark Lord because she discovered his secret to immortality that day in Hogwarts. Just a fraction, and she didn't understand, but Pyrites did. A vital piece. He told me… he said, 'The Dark Lord is Many and Deathless.'"
With that last baffling secret, Liam shoved the ball of parchment down his throat. He was already beginning to seize violently. His knees snapped out from beneath him and he collapsed.
He was dead before he hit the ground.
At the same second Remus' mind split, torn apart by the eruption of the wolf. His bones cracked and lengthened, skin stretching, teeth breaking, and Remus was dying, dying, dying. The sun would not rise again. Not for him.
June 24, 1986
Sirius woke with the dawn's dove gray light. After anxiously shoving the quilt to the floor, he tried to calm himself enough to enact some kind of morning routine. He threw some water on his face, ignoring the two day old stubble and lifeless hair. A shower could wait. He just needed to check first. Make sure that last night happened.
He was getting good at avoiding the creaky places in the floor from sneaking past Harry's bedroom. Soundlessly, he made it to the living room and peered inside. The floor-to-ceiling windows let in a slant of rising sun. And there, on the couch, Remus' forehead was just visible over the blankets. A tuft of hair caught the sun like filaments. Sirius stared long enough to ensure that the woolen knitting was rising and falling in rhythm. Then slunk back to the bathroom.
After a quick shower, he went to the kitchen and prepared coffee as quietly as he could. Breakfast… the cupboards were depressingly bare, since he and Harry had spent the last week at the Burrow. There was a tin of oats for porridge. He would need to borrow eggs. Sipping his coffee, he tread lightly into the foyer to look in on Remus one more time. If his sleeping patterns were the same, he would not wake for another hour or so, especially so soon after the moon. And last night he'd been exhausted. Fragile. His arms had been like bird's legs in Sirius' grasp when he hauled him upright.
Sirius watched him breathe and pondered what to tell Molly and Arthur.
Nothing, he settled on. For now. He wasn't sure what Remus would want. For all his joy to have his friend in the next room, he couldn't shake the strain between them. He would let Remus choose what to do next.
Decision made (or delayed, depending on one's point of view), he downed the rest of the coffee and wrote a brief note to Remus telling him where he had gone. He listened at Harry's door, but it was quiet on the other side. Then he carefully let himself out the front door.
The air was crisp and clean from the storm the night before. Sirius strode past the wards with an irresistible bounce in his step, then apparated the short distance to the Burrow.
Molly watched him enter the gate from the yard with a pronounced scowl. He spotted the scaly mutant hens pecking around her feet with their new-found teeth. His face split into a broad grin.
"Sirius Black, if you do not correct my chickens this instant I swear to Merlin-"
She never got to finish. Sirius swept her up into a hug and planted a kiss on both cheeks.
"Good morning, Molly. Sleep well? Did you know that chickens are actually the closest descendants of the tyrannosaurus rex? Besides dragons, of course."
"I-yes, I slept well," she replied, smiling hesitantly and scrutinizing his face. "You're... chipper this morning."
"Why shouldn't I be? Sun's up, Arthur's home, my godson is healthy and happy. All's well with the world."
Molly blinked rapidly. Then her eyes narrowed and she whipped out her wand.
"You are not Sirius Black."
Sirius barked out a loud, hearty laugh. "You called me thinner than a broom handle when we first met, then force-fed me broth. You've also developed a worrying habit of lacing tea with sleeping potion."
"Where's Harry?"
"Home, fast asleep."
"Alone?"
No, he would never leave Harry alone. But again, he was not telling her about his company until said company gave his blessing.
"Don't worry, I have a charm on his door to let me know when he wakes up," he invented airily. "I just needed to borrow some eggs for breakfast."
"There's a basket of fresh ones by the coop-"
"I'll carry them in for you."
He swept across the yard and picked up the basket, muttering a counter charm on the chickens as he did. With some interest, he noted that the eggs were oddly elongated. Shrugging, he offered Molly an arm (which she took with a bewildered expression), and escorted her inside. At the kitchen table, Arthur was leaning back in his customary place, sipping tea and reading the Daily Prophet.
"Sirius!" he exclaimed, folding the paper and starting to rise. "We just had an owl from Mad-Eye! Why didn't you say you took a hit yesterday?"
"I'm fine, just a bump to the old noggin," Sirius said with a wave of his hand. "Nothing the Ministry healers couldn't fix. I was out for maybe half an hour. Sit down, please, you're recovering from much worse."
"I'm home now, aren't I?" muttered Arthur grumpily, but sat. "Healers said I'm just fine. Can even go to work tomorrow."
"Well Sirius doesn't seem quite alright, dear," Molly confided to Arthur, taking the eggs from Sirius and setting them on the table. "We should tell Mad-Eye to have him sit with another healer today."
"What's wrong with him?"
"I'm not sure. He's cheerful."
Alarm crossed Arthur's face.
"What? I'm not allowed to be happy?"
"Well you're usually..."
"What?"
"Brooding. And I imagine yesterday could not have been easy. Pyrites breaks into the Ministry, kills your only witness to his plots, steals some classified item from the Department of Mysteries, then escapes unscathed. Not to mention you had no idea he was back in the country in the first place. The attack is all over the news."
He lifted his Daily Prophet. Sirius could see the headline splashed in bold capitals across the front page, "DEATH EATERS BREACH DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES."
"It's that Skeeter woman again, stirring up panic," said Molly angrily.
"Did she-"
"For once it seems she only reported the facts," Arthur said, more calm. "But she did imply…"
"That they took something to bring Voldemort back," said Sirius, irritated now.
"Did they?" asked Arthur quietly.
"No. But it doesn't mean they can't accomplish that another way."
Reminded of yesterday's events before finding Remus, Sirius sobered. Pyrites was back in Britain. He had the prophecy and he'd been exposed to the Ministry. The next headline would probably call him out by name. There was no point in hiding anymore. He clearly had some kind of plan in motion… What could they expect now?
Neither Arthur or Molly questioned him further, though they exchanged a significant look. A few stirring sounds came from upstairs. A bathroom door closed, followed by the sound of running water.
"That's probably Percy or Charlie," said Arthur. "They're our early risers. Why don't you fetch Harry and stay for breakfast, Sirius? Unless you wanted some time alone with Harry?"
"Actually, I-"
But Sirius was interrupted by a whooshing sound coming from the living room.
"Was that the floo?" Molly asked, sounding anxious and glancing at Sirius and Arthur.
"Are you expecting someone?" Sirius asked, his hand going to his wand.
"No, we… we disconnected our fireplace from everyone except your cottage after the breakout. But you're here so…"
Sirius understood immediately, with a slight flutter in his stomach.
"Wait here," he ordered. Arthur ignored him and pushed back his chair. "Seriously, wait. It's okay, I know who it is."
Without bothering to check if Arthur stayed where he was, Sirius hurried into the living room to find Remus dusting his trousers and taking in his surroundings. Harry was standing next to him, still in his pajamas and ash in his hair.
"Sirius!" Harry chirped delightedly. He ran and gave him a hug. "Mr. Remus said we should come and surprise you!"
"Consider me surprised," he said, looking directly at his friend. "I thought you'd sleep longer. I was just going to pick up some eggs and come right back-"
"I know," Remus replied. He held up the note. "But I can't hide from everyone in your life if I'm going to stick around for a while."
"Huh," Sirius breathed out, feeling a smile pulling at his lips. Remus seemed more at ease and better rested. He was not leaning on the wooden cane as heavily and some of the shadows were gone from his eyes.
Remus ducked his head after a moment. "I'm sorry about last night," he murmured. "I'm just… there are some things I'm going to need to take slowly."
"It's fine," Sirius said quickly. "I'm sorry too. Come in."
After a second of hesitation, Remus followed him to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway. Molly was about two steps from where Sirius left her, poised to shield the staircase. Arthur was standing next to the table, his expression deceptively mild.
"Sorry, I-um-" Sirius faltered, knowing his face was covered with a ridiculous grin. "Molly, Arthur, this is my friend-"
"Remus Lupin," finished Arthur for him, eyebrows shooting up to his balding hairline. He crossed to Remus in two strides and took his hand warmly. "Thank Merlin you're alive. He was driving everyone mad."
Remus' shocked expression morphed into tentative amusement.
"He's talented that way," he said softly with a glance at Sirius.
"You lot never complained," Sirius retorted.
"We did," Remus assured Arthur. Then his amber eyes went to Molly, who was hovering a little closer.
Sirius felt a frisson of apprehension, thinking of Rita Skeeter's article defaming Remus weeks ago. Had Molly seen it? She had a tendency to react first… But he needn't have worried. As Arthur backed away to give her room, she threw her arms around the startled werewolf. "It is such a pleasure, Mr. Lupin," she said in a wavering voice. "Sirius has told us so much about you. We're so glad to have you here."
"Call me Remus, please," Remus mumbled, bent double to accommodate the small woman.
Molly released him and patted his arm. "Of course, Remus dear. Goodness, you're skinnier than Sirius. No arguments now, Black, you're both staying for breakfast."
She bustled over to the stovetop, waving her wand to ignite the flames and direct pots and pans through the air. Remus met Sirius' eyes, who shrugged and inquired quietly, "Is that okay with you?"
"It's fine, Padfoot," Remus whispered back. His tone was lighter than before.
"Do you drink tea or coffee in the mornings, Remus?"
"Tea, please. Can I help with anything?"
"Oh, he's so polite! Did you hear that Sirius? No, sit down, you're the guest. Sirius can handle the eggs."
"I don't think that's such a good idea-"
"Ah, ye of little faith! No worries, I have been well-trained in the culinary arts."
"I'm gonna wake up Ron!" shouted Harry before thundering up the stairs. Sirius went to the stove, keeping one attentive ear on the conversation going on behind him. Molly fussed for a while, ensuring that Remus was seated comfortably at the long wooden table with a cup of steaming black tea.
"So… this is certainly unexpected," said Arthur. "How exactly did this happen?"
"We bumped into each other shopping," Remus deflected dryly.
"Looking for anything in particular?" said Arthur.
"A mutual enemy, it seems."
Sirius glanced backwards. Remus had both hands around his steaming mug, just a little too tight. Arthur caught Sirius' eye and changed the subject.
"We thought Sirius was acting strangely this morning. Boisterous."
"Sirius is a morning person," Remus said, as if it explained everything.
"Remus is not," said Sirius as he cracked the misshaped eggs one at a time and spilled the contents into the sizzling pan. Arthur laughed. Molly's lips twitched as she prepared a pan of toast. Behind her, a knife was cutting tomatoes and mushrooms on its own accord. There was something distantly familiar about the whole thing.
Sleepy footsteps soon meandered down the stairs. Charlie entered the kitchen first, his red hair tousled, followed closely by Percy, who was adjusting horn rim glasses on his nose. More noise emanated from the upper floors, signalling a brewing stampede of Weasleys. Percy poured himself a glass of orange juice, then froze at the sight of a new person in the kitchen. Charlie was already staring.
"Charlie, Percy, this is Remus Lupin," said Arthur. "Stop staring and say hello."
"Hi, Mr. Lupin," said Percy at once, getting over his shock. He set his glass down across from him and extended a hand. "I'm Percy. I'm nine years old. Nice to meet you."
"You as well," Remus said with a bemused expression.
Charlie imitated his little brother, though Sirius noticed his eyes lingering on the scars that littered his friend's skin. Percy, who was used to Mad-Eye, had only spared them a curious but passing glance. Charlie, however, was old enough to recognize that these were no curse scars. Sirius brought a platter of eggs and fried vegetables to the table and sat down next to Remus, across from Charlie.
Charlie leaned forward and whispered loudly.
"Is he-?"
Sirius winked, but held a finger to his lips. Charlie's eyes widened with awe. Remus gave Sirius a searching look.
"Padfoot," he started in a low tone.
"He's an observant kid," Sirius whispered back. Another cascade of children was now spilling from the stairway. "Don't worry, he thinks you're cool. He helped look for you."
Stunned, Remus opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a rumble of Weasleys crashing down the stairs.
Introductions were made and the children descended on breakfast like a pack of dino-hens. Remus did not say much, but absorbed the chaos with bewildered awe. Sirius vividly remembered feeling the same on the twins' birthday. Fred and George in question were peppering Sirius with rapid-fire stats on popular joke products. He acknowledged them with whatever interjections he could make and the brands he preferred. Molly shot him occasional disapproving glares. Eventually, Remus leaned over and whispered, "I pity McGonagall already. They're worse than we were."
"I don't think anyone could possibly top us," Sirius chuckled. But his mirth evaporated quickly. The distant familiarity morphed without warning into acute absence. It stabbed into his chest. James should be here, laughing with him and Remus. Lily should be talking to Molly or helping Harry get another serving of eggs. So sudden and raw was the wave of grief that Sirius cleared his throat and excused himself.
He made it to the bathroom gracefully, then turned the lock.
"Breathe deeply, Padfoot," whispered a younger James in his memory. "Come on, just do it with me. Can you feel me breathing?"
He remembered the warmth of that living chest under his hand. Inhale. One, two, three, four, five, six. Exhale. Repeat.
After a moment, he splashed some water onto his face and dried it. A check of his reflection showed himself as usual. Maybe a bit pale, several days of growth on his chin.
Where had that come from?
He pulled together his old Sirius Black skin. When he emerged, he acted perfectly natural.
"Sirius I forgot to mention, but the owl from Mad-Eye had a missive for you to go in and debrief sometime today," said Arthur. "Preferably this morning."
"Right."
"Debrief?" questioned Remus. He had been watching Sirius carefully since he returned.
"I'll explain when we have a less tender audience," Sirius muttered.
Fred overheard and gave an affronted, "Oi! We're tough as weeds!"
"Hard as nails!" agreed George.
"Rough as-"
"Incoming!" announced Bill loudly. Arthur leaned backwards in his chair and unlatched a window. Sirius squinted and saw a huge owl swooping down from the sky, beak clamped over an indigo envelope. It landed with a thump on the sill, feathers ruffled from flight.
"Thank you," said Arthur politely, accepting the envelope. The owl hooted, then pumped its enormous wings down to take off, sending feathers and napkins flying near their end of the table.
"It's addressed to us and you," Arthur said, gesturing to Sirius. He broke the seal with a thumb and read the letter, eyebrows contracting. Then, wordlessly, he passed the letter to Sirius, who held it so that Remus could read as well.
Dear Arthur, Molly, and Sirius,
I am writing to thank you for the generous gift of chocolate frogs you sent to me ten days ago. I finished them rather quickly, and ate the last three yesterday. I hope that you are well.
Regards,
Albus Dumbledore
Sirius read it three times, quickly cataloging the words.
"I'm fairly certain we sent no chocolate frogs," said Arthur cautiously.
"No," Sirius agreed. He passed the note to Molly, holding it high above the reach of the twins. "The frogs have nothing to do with it. Well, except that's the password to Dumbledore's office."
"What?"
"It's an old code," Remus explained in a puzzled voice. "Blue paper means evening. You sent the frogs to Dumbledore, so the meeting is at Dumbledore's place, meaning his office. Ten days means ten o'clock and the last three indicate three days from now."
There was a brief silence in which the Weasleys absorbed this.
"The Order has been reinstated?" questioned Remus quietly.
"It was decided a week ago," said Sirius shortly. He was busy looking between Molly and Arthur. Neither seemed very surprised by the concept.
"Oh for heaven's sake," Molly said to Sirius, "Dumbledore told us about the Order of the Phoenix. And that you didn't want us involved. Told us… everything." She glanced around at the children, who were doing their best to act like they weren't hanging on every word.
"I didn't want-"
"We understand," said Arthur. "But we are also willing to help."
"You've considered… all the possible consequences?" Sirius warned. There was nothing more he could say in front of the kids. It seemed useless, staring into Arthur and Molly's determined faces. Still, he could not help but add, "Think about what happened that day."
Arthur cleared his throat.
"I think that shows that we're already involved, like it or not. We know the risks," said Molly briskly, though her lips had thinned. "But now is definitely not the time to speak of them. Kids, up. Go out and play. Sirius, you'll need to get to the Ministry."
She stood and started clearing dishes, effectively ending the conversation. Muttering, the kids slowly pushed out their chairs with a loud chorus of scrapes and made their way towards the back door. All except Harry, who looked accusingly at the adults.
"I'm still in my pajamas!"
"My fault," Remus said, his lips twitching slightly upward. "Come on, cub, we can go get them. Sirius has to go to work."
Sirius could not help but feel a little lighter as he left for the Auror Department.
He spent the morning in the Head Auror's office, reliving the past twenty-four hours. A vividly violet quick-quotes quill recorded the story verbatim. He told Mad-Eye and Scrimgeour every detail he could remember about Pyrites, from the changes in his personality to the enigmatic statements he made. It was exhausting and Mad-Eye did not press him when he was vague about what happened later at Borgin and Burke's.
"It was a mess," said Sirius. "I must have interrupted something, I think I heard someone disapparate when I approached."
"Did you check inside the Mirror?" probed Scrimgeour. "Perhaps a Death Eater was sent to collect something."
"No." Though he made a mental note to ask Remus the same. He had a feeling he knew the answer. His skin prickled, recalling how Remus had been so careful not to look directly at his reflection.
"I suppose a Death Eater wouldn't need to make a mess of the shop if they knew where to look all along," mused the Head Auror.
"Unless he was covering his tracks," grunted Mad-Eye. "Could be a distraction."
"Either way, we need to do a deep search of that Mirror," said Scrimgeour. "I don't know why we haven't done so in the first place."
"Because we don't understand the magic," Sirius interrupted, uncharacteristically solemn.
"It seems harmless enough."
"It isn't."
His superiors' combined scrutiny weighed on him, but not as much as Remus' blank, empty eyes.
"What happened to your full-steam-ahead, curse now ask questions later attitude?"
"I'm just saying we should be cautious. Dumbledore warned against it for a reason."
"Since when do you listen to Dumbledore?"
Sirius shrugged.
"You went inside before."
"And I volunteer to go back if necessary," Sirius replied firmly, if only to keep Burke's prying eyes out. Besides, Sirius knew he could return to reality easily enough. He had plenty to hold onto.
As he messily signed the manuscript of his debrief completed by the quick-quotes quill, Mad-Eye watched him suspiciously. But he waited until they had abandoned the Head Auror's office for the chaos in the bullpen.
"You held something back in there."
Sirius flopped into his revolving office chair and shuffled a stack of untouched forms on his desk. "Can you prove it?" he challenged softly, knowing it was pointless to lie to his old mentor.
"No. But my gut feelings are never wrong. What is it?"
For a split second, Sirius almost told him. Instead, he only said, "Not now. Not here."
The grizzled auror's lips pressed thin, making his mouth look like another scar among the myriads of others.
"Fine," he growled evenly. He produced a piece of folded yellow slip of paper. "This is your official warning for fracturing Burke's left orbital. No probation, we need everyone working right now, if only to deal with false sightings and hysteria. Damn Skeeter woman. He's on the warpath, Black."
Sirius tossed the warning carelessly into one of his disorganized stacks. "What do you mean?"
"He's filed for a forensics comparison to records kept by the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."
The air momentarily vanished from Sirius' lungs. From far away, he could hear himself ask, "How long will it take?"
"Three to five days."
Merlin. Too short to come up with a solid plan. At least, not a legal one. Plenty of illegal options were chasing themselves around in his brain. Telling the truth would not get Remus any clemency from the Ministry, especially now. He was beginning to appreciate why Remus had remained dead. At least, in the eyes of the law. If this became a manhunt…
"It might not be him," said Mad-Eye in a comforting rumble.
"Yeah," Sirius breathed. Except it would be. He felt like he was drowning and the last of his air was wasted on a lie. Mad-Eye patted his shoulder roughly, then stomped away.
Throughout the rest of the day, aurors came and went with varying expressions of urgency, but Sirius was ordered to stay at his desk. There was paperwork to do and incident reports to file. It did not help that his concentration was frayed every few minutes by another burst of anxiety. Burke was on assignment, so Sirius did not have the opportunity to re-break his eye socket. Even another shouting match would make him feel better. By the time he left, his eyelids were itching and his fingers cramped and ink-stained. A tense knot had formed between his shoulder blades.
And he still did not have a way to keep Remus' name from a murder charge.
He arrived at the Burrow as the sun was setting over the trees. Shouts and cheers came from the paddock, but he went straight towards the house. Arthur was in the kitchen working on a crossword and a simple dinner was ready for him on the table.
"Remus?"
"Asleep," he said, gesturing towards the living room. Sirius peeked inside and saw a shape curled on the couch under hand-knitted blankets.
"Did she dose him too?" he whispered.
"Just exhaustion, I think," said Arthur. "Molly's already worked up about it. Is he ill?"
"It's the moon," Sirius said. Habitual tension rose as it always did when discussing Remus' conditions with others. "It was full recently."
"I see," Arthur said, as if post-moon sickness were an ailment that could affect anyone. "Can we ask someone to look in at him?"
Sirius exhaled lowly, grateful for the Weasley patriarch's indifference to having a werewolf asleep on his couch. He slumped at the table and started on a leg of chicken. "Harry suggested Madame Pomfrey," he said wryly.
"She took care of you after you were released," Arthur pointed out. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind…"
"He would," said Sirius. "Doesn't like the attention."
"Does it usually take him this long to recover?"
"Not in the past," Sirius answered, unease blooming in his stomach. Truthfully, he did not know what it was like for Remus now. Too many things had changed. The knot in his back throbbed sharply, threatening to become a headache.
"He shouldn't be pushing himself so soon," said Arthur. "Reminds me of you a few months ago."
"What did he do today other than sleep?"
"He left for a few hours after lunch. I didn't ask where."
"He left?"
Arthur nodded. He had gone back to his crossword, but his pen stayed poised for too long and his eyes were not moving. Sirius chewed to give himself time to think, wondering where the werewolf could have gone. Nowhere public, that was for sure. What was he doing that could not wait another day?
His nerves skittered again, but he forced himself to swallow a mouthful of chicken and say, "Okay." Then added, "Look, Arthur, Remus doesn't want it widely known that he's, well, alive."
"I figured as much," said Arthur. "I'll be sure to let Molly know, but the kids will be a different story. Any particular reason?"
"I… I don't know all the details," Sirius replied delicately. Remus had not killed the wandmaker's apprentice, but whatever happened between the fully transformed werewolf and Liam Carmichael remained a mystery.
"It's my fault he's dead."
Sirius shuddered.
"I remember the smell of blood when I woke up. I remember the feeling of it under my fingernails. Between… between my teeth."
He would need to know more. He couldn't protect Remus if he would not let him in.
"Sirius? Is everything… okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks for… you know."
"No problem. He's not really okay, though, is he?"
Sirius exhaled and shook his head.
The sun had sunk fully, plunging the world into twilight. The lights of the Burrow magically came on and crickets started to chirp outside. It was too dark to play quidditch, so the kids returned inside, making a ruckus loud enough to wake Remus. He emerged like a pale imprint on the dim living room, leaning against the shadowed doorway. He acknowledged Sirius with a small wave, but otherwise observed quietly.
The younger ones were yawning, so Sirius scooped Harry up and declared that it was time for a bath and bed.
"Don't forget the eggs, Sirius!" said Molly, who descended from upstairs. "And I tucked in a few more items for you."
She shoved a laden basket into his free hand and smiled fondly at Remus. Sirius smirked, unsurprised that Remus had won her full affection so quickly.
Harry chattered all through bathtime, mostly regaling Remus with tales of Fred and George. Despite his nap Remus still had bags under his eyes, but he was a good listener as always. He disappeared into the living room while Sirius put Harry down and was already re-making the couch with fitted sheets and blankets by the time Sirius returned. His movements were stiff.
"Is it okay if I stay another night?" he asked when he heard Sirius enter.
"Moony," Sirius sighed. "You know the answer."
Remus finished tucking in the sheets and spreading a blanket over them. Then he smoothed a spot and lowered himself carefully down. Sirius chewed the inside of his cheek, beginning to agree with Arthur's earlier concerns. He was about to voice them, but Remus spoke first.
"Tell me about the debrief."
So for the second time that day, Sirius recounted the events of the Department of Mysteries. He started with Borgin's arrest and added a few more details, like what happened to Arthur Weasley the week before and Wormtail's previous excursions. But some things he skimmed over vaguely. Like the circumstances behind Borgin's arrest. If Remus noticed, he did not say a word. He absorbed everything expressionlessly. As he reached the end, Sirius felt more and more like he was speaking to a blank wall.
The only sign of life was a whitening of his knuckles when Sirius spoke of his encounter with Pyrites in the Death Chamber. Sirius tried to explain the feeling of wrongness about him. But as he did, he began to doubt that it was even real. Remus' lack of reaction was beginning to make him feel foolish. He finished clumsily, vaguely describing the duel and getting knocked out.
"You fought him?" Remus asked sharply. Sirius glanced up from his hands and saw that the full weight of the werewolf's attention was fixed on him.
"Er, yeah. But he escaped."
A strained silence followed, into which Remus eventually said, "So he knows the full prophecy."
"Not sure how useful he found it," said Sirius. "Was going on about fixed points in time, that he couldn't stop it. But he's working on something. Did he ever…"
"Talk about it? Only in pieces." Remus twisted his hands together. A slight shiver went through his fingers. "I've never had the whole picture."
"We have some pieces too," said Sirius, watching him closely. "I took some documents and things from inside the Mirror. Dumbledore is going over them."
As expected, the mention of the Mirror shifted Remus' expression.
"Why were you at Borgin and Burke's last night?" Sirius asked him in a low voice, hoping to tread cautiously to the subject of Carmichael's death.
"Looking for Pyrites. I suppose he was already at the Department of Mysteries then."
Sirius nodded thoughtfully. Remus had said more or less the same to Arthur this morning.
"Did you… look inside the Mirror?"
Remus' throat convulsed and he shook his head. He was avoiding Sirius' eyes now.
"It's okay if you didn't want-"
"I did."
The rest of Sirius' assurance stuck in his mouth at Remus' admittance. He waited, but Remus left it at that. He twisted for his cane jerkily and made to stand. Except his attempt failed with a wince he could not conceal. His hand twitched towards his side, but went down to the cushions instead. White-knuckled.
"Moony-" Sirius started forward, alarm and suspicion crowding over his thoughts.
"There's something you should know about Pyrites," Remus interrupted. He was speaking quickly.
"You said you were fine!"
"It's nothing. Sirius listen, this is important; Pyrites didn't return to England alone."
Sirius registered Remus' serious tone, but there were more pressing things taking his concentration. He crossed the room in two strides, reaching for the edge of his shirt. Remus reacted quickly, snatching Sirius' wrist in an iron grip.
"Let me see."
The pressure on his forearm was steady. "I told you, it was a bad moon. I'm handling it."
"Clearly," said Sirius with his eyes fixed on the growing damp patch on the dark shirt. "You're bleeding!"
Remus' hand spasmed, but remained tight. The other went to cover the spot just above his left hip. "I… I've been distracted since last night. I just forgot to check it and I moved too quickly. It isn't bad."
"In that case, I can take care of it," said Sirius stubbornly.
"No, Sirius."
"We always fixed you up in the past. How is now any different?"
"Because I never should have let you," Remus snapped. He got to his feet, this time with success and pushed past Sirius towards the bathroom.
"Let us?" Sirius repeated indignantly. He followed and caught the door before it closed. He lowered his voice, aware of Harry's bedroom door just behind him. "We were your friends!"
"I know!" Remus said. He tried to close the door, but Sirius planted his foot firmly in the way. "Move, Sirius."
"Don't do this, Remus."
"Do what?"
"Cut me out. At least let me help with this. Please. You've avoided talking about the Mirror and Pyrites and what happened with Carmichael that night…"
"Right and I'm sure Azkaban is a great conversation starter," Remus hissed through his teeth.
The verbal blow caught Sirius in the diaphragm. They stared at each other across the narrow space. Remus broke it first, gaze fluttering down to his feet.
"That was undeserved," he murmured. "I'm sorry. You're only trying to help."
"Not ready to have that talk yet?" Sirius asked woodenly.
"I…" Remus trailed off, pulling his hand from his torso. Sirius sucked in a breath. It was covered in dark red. A single bead of crimson fell from his thumb and splashed brightly against the eggshell blue bathroom tile. "I need to take care of this."
Sirius agreed with a jerky nod. He debated standing here until Remus passed out. The wound was clearly much worse than the werewolf was willing to share. If he were unconscious he couldn't refuse Sirius' help.
But even as Sirius thought it, he knew it would be an unforgivable breach of privacy in Remus' eyes.
Deliberately, he removed his foot. Remus did not slam the door in his face at once. He seemed to be trying to come up with something to smooth over his harsh words. But in the end he only said, "I was trying to tell you. Voldemort is in England."
"What?" Sirius felt the blood leech from his face. "He's here? How?"
"With… with Pyrites. I tried to stop him… You should tell Dumbledore."
"And what should I say if he asks how I know?"
Remus sighed and leaned his forehead against the door's edge. "I don't know. Anything except that I told you."
"...okay."
The bathroom door closed with a soft click, plunging the hallway into darkness. After a few seconds, Sirius went to the kitchen, mechanically searching drawers for a quill, ink, and parchment. Then, feeling oddly defeated, he began a carefully-worded letter to Dumbledore requesting to meet with him as soon as possible. He would borrow a Ministry owl in the morning.
As he applied the seal, he realized he had forgotten to ask Remus where he'd gone that day. Only now, he was not so certain the question would be welcome. Or any questions at all.
June 25, 1986
Dumbledore responded promptly, so Sirius took lunch early and left for Hogwarts.
He trudged uphill to the castle, his eyes on his feet the entire way, lost in thought. His interaction with Remus that morning had not been awkward. The blood had been wiped from the bathroom tiles and there was no sign of bandages beneath his threadbare jumper. They fell into their old morning routine and banter, aided by Harry's presence. Except it was only skin-deep.
He thought back to Borgin and Burke's, the aurors all skillfully stunned. Remus' hunted demeanor. The same one that shuttered his expression whenever words came too close to his guarded walls. At some point in the werewolf's head, every other person in the world had become a threat. Even Sirius, in a way.
Without realizing it, he made it to the stone gargoyle and muttered, "Cockroach clusters."
The gargoyle leapt out of the way and Sirius clomped up the spiral stairs. Dumbledore's office door was open and soft voices emanated from inside. He nearly bowled over Professor Flitwick, who was making his exit.
"Oh, hello there Sirius!" he said squeakily. "Albus said he was expecting you. Go on in."
He was greeted by Dumbledore and McGonagall. Dumbledore smiled and said, "Wait by my desk, Sirius, I'll be with you in just a moment."
Sirius meandered past the tables of delicate instruments and stole a few lemon drops from a bowl on the desk. He sucked on one while he waited for Dumbledore and McGonagall to finish their conversation about changes to the Transfiguration curriculum. Fawkes crooned from his perch, so he went over and smoothed the phoenix's feathers. Tapping his foot, he glanced around.
Something flashed in the back chamber, partially concealed by bookshelves. Curious, Sirius leaned slightly to the left and peered into the gloom. At first, he thought it was a window. His brain grappled with the strange angle, until he finally realized it was just a reflection of a window.
With a peek backwards, he saw that Dumbledore was still listening intently to McGonagall, so he took a few steps inside to get a better look.
It was a mirror. It was set in an elaborate frame and was so tall that it touched the ceiling of the chamber. The small window it reflected was the only source of light, sky blue and diffuse. He could barely see his own reflection, but as his eyes adjusted, he realized that he wasn't alone. He sucked in a breath and twisted his neck to look behind him. But Dumbledore and McGonagall were still by the doorway. No one had followed him here.
His heart rate doubled. He had just about had it with enchanted mirrors. Even so, he could not help but draw closer. As he did, the image grew brighter as if it were daytime in the chamber itself. He squinted, trying to make out who...
And then he knew.
Harry ran in circles around his reflection across a broad swathe of grass. Remus watched from one side. He laughed freely. Completely unburdened. And beside Sirius was James, glasses askew and hair wild and arm around Lily. She was hiding a wide smile behind her hand.
Sirius felt a heavy ache fill his chest. His reflected self was... different. Whole.
"Sirius."
Sirius jumped and whirled around. Dumbledore stood by Fawkes, his face grave.
"I just. I saw it and was curious."
Dumbledore nodded, as if he knew exactly what drew Sirius closer to the mirror.
"It is a powerful magical object, the Mirror of Erised."
"That's the Mirror of Erised? The twin of-"
"The Mirror of Iunne, yes. There's an engraving at the top."
Sirius looked above the perfect, beautiful scene and saw strange words carved into the frame.
"You keep it here?"
"Not usually," said Dumbledore. He seemed very tired. The hand stroking Fawkes was especially weathered and aged. "Since our recent troubles with its brother, I brought it here for safekeeping. You wished to speak with me?"
"Yeah…"
But Sirius did not move from where he stood. The joy on the other side of the glass was... captivating. Almost real. But not as real as the firm grasp on his arm, gently turning him away, back to the whimsical office that now seemed so dull in comparison.
"You recall my warning regarding the Mirror of Erised?"
Sirius nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat.
"Good. Take a seat."
The Headmaster settled in the high-backed chair behind his desk and Sirius took the smaller, cushioned one on the other side.
"Your message seemed urgent," Dumbledore probed.
Sirius unstuck his throat. "Yes," he said hoarsely. "Voldemort is in England."
Dumbledore did not flinch. His eyes stared straight into Sirius', like hard, blue stones. "You're certain of this?"
"Absolutely. I didn't want to send it in a letter in case it got intercepted."
"How do you know?"
Sirius hesitated. "Someone I trust told me."
Dumbledore's eyes glinted. "Who?"
"I'm sorry, I promised I wouldn't say."
For an instant, he wondered if Dumbledore would know. After all, he was a powerful legilimens. But the Headmaster lowered his head to consider his folded hands.
"Is there anything else?"
"Only that he came with Pyrites." As he said it, he remembered something else from two nights ago. "Maybe from Albania?"
"You think Pyrites was in Albania?"
"Possibly," was all Sirius could say, wishing once again Remus had been more transparent. "Have you found anything in the documents from the Mirror of Iunne?"
"I have and it has some bearing on what we just spoke of. I actually was hoping to meet with you and Alastor regarding my findings today. I sent him a message to meet us here…"
"But?"
"But he had a night shift that went late. He said he'd meet us at your cottage-" Dumbledore glanced at an elaborate clock hanging amongst the portraits of past professors- "Five minutes ago."
Sirius huffed. That meddling, peg-legged bastard. He should have known that Mad-Eye would not let him evade his suspicions for long. He hoped that Remus had stayed at the Burrow today.
The Headmaster started gathering a few things, including a notepad and a self-inking quill. Then he gestured towards the fireplace.
"Let's take the floo," he suggested.
Sirius nodded. He followed Dumbledore to the fireplace, where they each gathered a handful of green floo powder from a pot on the mantle. And then he couldn't help it. He glanced back to the chamber behind Dumbledore's desk, hoping the old professor would not notice.
But Dumbledore paused on the sooty bricks.
"Perhaps it is no longer my place to say," he said quietly. "You have not been my student in many years, and I have failed you in ways I can never make amends for. But I will say it anyway, as I have to many others who have encountered the Mirror of Erised."
Dumbledore looked up and Sirius felt the blue eyes pierce right through his iron skin, all the way down to what he had seen. A man who was never left to rot alone in Azkaban prison.
"It does not do," he said, "to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
Then he tossed the powder into the glowing coals, announced clearly, "Black Cottage," and disappeared with a burst of emerald flames.
A/N: Please review! It keeps me motivated ;)
