Chapter 7 – You're my lifeline.
APOV:
I leave the breakfast area after talking to everyone and make my way back to the Bridal suite. My mind goes to Christian and our night and our morning. I feel my skin tingle and I try my best to not smile. I need to keep my head straight. He looked so handsome sitting there with his family, leaning back on the chair with his perfectly chiseled face and a hint of a smile on his face and those eyes. I wanted to kiss him so badly. This weekend is going to be a challenge. I never knew attraction could be like this, that I could ever feel comfortable standing naked in front of anyone. With him I had no reservations, it was completely natural, as if we were meant to be. I didn't care I had scars, I didn't care how looked because in his eyes I was beautiful. Or is my mind playing tricks on me and this is just a casual wedding fling? I need to focus on the wedding and not this.
I get to Kiran's room, take a quick shower and take my place to get my hair and makeup done. The wedding starts in 3 hours and this day has been such a long time coming. I'm so excited to wear my dress. It's the most unique. The color scheme for today is green and pink with a tropical floral theme/Hollywood party by the beach. Kiran had way too many ideas and somehow I think we're making it work. I did a quick walk through of the outdoor area where the ceremony will take place and the tent has been setup overlooking the water. Everything is coming along beautifully.
My dress is a hi-low ball gown by Sachin & Babi with a floral print. I'm the only one who has the unique dress, Kiran wanted the MOH to be unique. The rest of the bridesmaids are wearing dresses in the same color scheme but they're plain dresses. I feel slightly uncomfortable standing out like this but I do love my dress.
The photographer comes by and starts taking the requisite getting ready photos and we all oblige, with champagne glasses for fake toasts and confetti gun mishaps.
As we go through the motions, one by one we're all ready. I opt to get a trendy voluminous high ponytail, with simple but bold eyeliner and glittery eye-shadow that make my eyes look like disco balls but I like it, matte blush and a nude pink lipstick. I wear tiny pale pink teardrop earring in my ear and one cocktail ring. I slip into the same nude pink heels I was wearing from yesterday since they were hidden under my sari and pretty sure no one really saw them.
I feel... beautiful and confident. It's the first time I've never felt the need to ask someone else how I look.
I head out to the common area and see all the bridesmaids waiting to receive their bouquets and they all turn to me and cat call in delight. It makes me blush.
"Steele you fucking beautiful woman, you! You're look incredible. I mean... fuck... GIRL. LOOK AT YOU." Kate bolts in my direction and envelopes me in a crushing hug. She too has gone for the high ponytail look with her mermaid gown in pale pink looking like she stepped out of a magazine herself, she's 5'9" and basically blake lively's twin sister.
Mia joins us, she's got shoulder length blonde hair and opts for a messy low bun with her green gown in the same style as Kate. "Ana I am obsessed with your look, this gown is everything."
"Thank you Mia, it's actually from Sachin & Babi and is called the floral Mia gown, isn't that so cool. Also you look to DIE for girl. I wish I had yours and Kate's height"
"The floral Mia gown? No wonder I love it. " she laughs like a child.
We receive our bouquets and are directed by the photographers to follow them so we can meet the couple and get the usual bridal party photos done before the ceremony.
It's a bit chilly today but the resort thankfully setup warm heaters the blow air around the ceremony air so it makes sitting outside a treat.
Daniel takes his place at the altar as the last of guests take their seats. The entire scene looks like a serene tropical paradise. The groomsmen meet us in the waiting room so we can walk out according to our assigned numbers in the procession.
"Steele I mean to say this before... you look spectacular, I'm one lucky son of a bitch to have you on my arm today." Elliot flirts with me.
"You're not so bad yourself, Grey." I tease. He's wearing a black tux and looks every bit the blue eyed, blond haired heartthrob from a high fashion ad.
"Hey what about me?" Kate asks feigning hurt.
"I'll tell you in private what I think." He winks to Kate.
"OH GOD, get a room you two." Mia groans.
"Actually, we did last night." Elliot quips and Kate smacks his arm, and we all laugh out loud.
The event coordinator signals us that it's time to begin and we all take our places. The sound system comes to life and we hear Etta James's At Last caress our ears. We get our signal and Elliot and I to walk and we do so in time to the music.
At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over and life is like a song, oh yeah
I can't help but smile. I feel like I'm floating on air. I can't wait to see Christian. As I get to the end of the aisle I pass Nani and Mama and give them air kisses as Elliot walks me to my spot before taking his behind Daniel.
I'm suddenly incredibly shy, I can tell where Christian is standing. I keep my eyes to the beginning of the altar watching everyone walk in for fear that if I see Christian in the eye I'll give us away to anyone watching.
At last the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up clover the night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
Everyone suddenly stands and I see Kiran and Uncle Rish walking in and I'm overcome with such emotion. She's the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. She's wearing an ethereal Monique Lhuillier ball gown with a cathedral veil. Her hair is in tight bun with a middle part with a dramatic headband that looks like a tiara and the most beautiful diamond earrings and tennis bracelet. She's looks like a vogue bride. It's a holy vision.
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill I've never known, oh yeah
You smiled, you smiled oh and then the spell was cast
And here we are in Heaven
For you are mine at last
As Etta sings the last words, Uncle Rish gives Kiran away and places her hand in Daniel's and they face each other.
CPOV
I meet up with Mom and Dad and we walk to the ceremony area and take our seats. I try to get something close the aisle so I can see Ana and succeed. I am aching to see her.
"Christian, I'm so glad you're here and spending time with us, I know this isn't your idea of a weekend but son, you can't be alone forever, you have to start making connections and experiencing moments that make life worth while. Money and success isn't everything." Grace says as she puts her hand to my face. I lean in and nod.
"This weekend hasn't been all that terrible mom. I feel like I'm learning new things seeing these two different cultures and families come together." I confess.
Grace kisses my cheek and smiles.
Scooter walks in with the priest and they take their positions and the all the seats almost fill up.
The sound of violins fill the air and I know for a fact that Ana must have chosen this song. Every thing about this weekend is a reflection of her. I smile and I see her come into view with Elliot. He whispers something in her ear as they reach the altar and she throws her head back and laughs. Soon they are in the middle of the aisle, and Ana is this divine beauty walking before us, her hips sway in time and her eyes are twinkling with the biggest smile as Etta's voice soars.
At last my love has come along
My lonely days are over and life is like a song, oh yeah
I'm floored. Dead. A goner. I think my jaw is open and it gives me away as Grace looks back at me and gives me a knowing smile. Fuck, does she know?
Elliot walks to Ana to her place at the altar and I have an uninterrupted view of her. She tries her best not to move to the music but fails, it's just who she is. She mouths the lyrics looking eagerly, waiting for her cousin. I will her to look at me but I fail, this woman cannot be willed by anyone else to do anything, she is a free spirit.
I see her expression change slightly as everyone stands up and I realize it's time for the bride's arrival. Ana has tears in her eyes and she see's Kiran finally reach the altar and takes Daniel's hands in front of the priest.
I'm unable to pay attention to the ceremony, as all I can do is watch Ana. Once the couple are announced as married, Ana jumps up and down with everyone with child-like glee, cheering them on and proceeds to dance down the aisle to "Can't stop the feeling by Justin Timberlake" with Elliot, followed by Mia and Kate with this respective partners in the bridal party. I laugh a little and shake my head. I feel a little left out but also know I wouldn't be able to keep up with any of this.
We are ushered into the area for cocktail hour and I get a drink and run into Ana at the bar.
She loses her footing momentarily and I grab her elbow. She blushes and I can feel her skin catch fire under me. I feel it through my entire body. How is this even possible?
"Miss Steele" I say seductively.
"Mr. Grey." She says out of breath, smiling and walks away to mingle with everyone.
Cocktail hour drones on as I do small talk with random people. Soon enough we're directed to the outdoor area where the reception will be held in a big white tent that overlooks the water. The sun is setting and it really is beautiful. I look up and the entire ceiling is covered with leafy vines and string lights. Towards the center there is an installation of different sized disco balls. Tropical jungle disco? Everything is in hues of pink and greens like Ana's dress.
I look for my name on the board and discover that I'm sitting at the bridal party table. I make my way over and make a quick decision to switch some of the cards to make it so that Ana is sitting with me.
I see Ana walk in with the crowd and talk to some of the wedding vendors, no doubt making sure everything is on track like the perfectionist she is. I'm so impressed with how she's handled everything.
As everyone takes their seats, Mia finds her place across from me. I'm sitting on the edge, with a seat for Ana to my left, followed by Kate then Elliot. I feel at peace. Ana will be here soon enough. I may not be able to touch her in front of everyone but at least I can be close to her.
The dance floor is huge but given the guest list and how big on dancing Ana's family is it only seems appropriate. The band and DJ are setup on the other side of the room to my far right. I see an old school photo booth behind me with props and Mia runs with some of the bridesmaids and they all cram into the small space to take silly pictures.
As everyone takes their seats, most of the bridal party gets up to get ready for their entrances. I'm left at the almost empty table with some lone spouses of the members of the bridal party.
The DJ calls everyone's attention and announces entrances for the couple's parents. And everyone cheers. Next up in the bridal party. The lights dim and the disco lights flash creating a club like atmosphere and I hear Finesse by Bruno Mars start to boom through the speakers.
"Ladies and gentlemen let's stand up and bust to move to welcome the bridal party. I hear they really know to break it down. First up the Maid of Honor and Best Man, Anastasia and Elliot." The DJ's voice booms and the crowed cheers as Ana and Elliot burst through the doors laughing and dancing. They make their way to the center and put on the most elaborate show, singing along to the lyrics and dance outrageously. I can't help but smile, they're adorable. They stand and wait in place for the rest of the friends to join.
Once the entire bridal party is complete. The DJ makes an announcement for the couple and they enter in to Crazy in Love by Beyonce and I hear the bridal party scream and go crazy on the floor welcoming them. Mia, Ana and Kate have their own little dance party and really break it down the beat. I used to think that no one could ever match Mia's energy on the dance floor but I now think no one could ever match Ana's energy. She's in a league of her own.
The married couple soon begins their first dance to "It Had To Be You" and it makes me wish I was dancing with Ana instead.
As the bridal party retreats and make their way back to the table. Mia, Kate and Ana are hand in hand giggling, Elliot rubs my shoulder and he walks around me to get to his seat. Mia takes her seat in front of me and Ana looks around the table to find her name and is a little shocked to find her place card next to me. She looks a little nervous but I immediately stand up offering her room to slide to her seat. She graciously accepts and tries her best to keep the distance from me as much as she can without making it too awkward in front of everyone.
As the married couple dance, the dance floor is declared open for other couples to join in. We all remain seated, talking and drinking. Mia and Ana are like two peas in a pod, talking about everything and anything. Kate and Elliot interject whenever they can but they're busy with themselves.
"Wait a minute, we should all totally take a selfie!" Mia declares. She gets up and motions Elliot and and
Kate to stand behind Ana and myself while Mia positions herself next me and holds the phone up. Ana's hair touches my cheek and she's beaming.
"Wait another one, funny faces!" Mia yells. Ana does the fish face and I have to laugh, she looks adorable. Mia immediately emails it to all of us.
"Christian, now take a picture of the three of us!" Mia pulls Ana and Kate up and they do a series of poses, laughing, smiling, funny faces, the Charlie's angels formation and various groupings of them; Mia with Kate, Kate with Ana, Mia with Ana. It'd be exhausting if I didn't actually adore these women.
Mia proceeds to take a picture of Elliot and Kate and they look good. Then one of Ana and Elliot given then bridal party pairing, they do a proper one and then an over the top hilarious one. They get along so well.
"How about I take a picture of the three of you guys, family picture?" Ana asks "Good idea Ana!" and Mia drags Elliot and I up to our feet.
"Okay guys, show me some love in this picture. I'm not giving into the shenanigans but Mia pouts her lip and does a dance post and Elliot does something with his nipples, which makes us all laugh.
"Elliot stop being such a hoe! Serious picture now." Ana scolds as we do a couple of more variations.
Time passes by, our food arrives and Ana comes and goes performing her MOH and general hostess duties. She goes to every table and introduces herself and makes sure everyone is taken care of. She has the patience of a saint.
The DJ announces it's time for speeches and Elliot is up first as best man. He is his usual funny self, crass at times but the crowd loves him and gets great laughs at Scooter's expense.
Next up is Ana. She walks to the middle of dance floor and takes a breath, I can see she's nervous but when she looks up, she's calm and smiling.
"Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. Thank you so much for being here to join us in celebration of these two wonderful human beings. For those of you who may not know, I'm Ana, Kiran's cousin and Maid of Honor today... basically the most important person in this wedding."
She twirls around and everyone including myself claps and she beams.
"I'd to first start off by appreciating my opponent aka the best man's speech. Solid effort Elliot but if we wake up to news of you being found murdered then let's be real... it will come as no surprise and all fingers will point to Daniel of course."
The whole room erupts in laughter and Elliot yells, "Solid one Ana " she winks back at him. She's such comedian, her delivery is always on point and she's animated in the right spots.
"I feel like I'm taking a risk by doing this but I didn't want to write my speech beforehand. I wanted to be to fully present in this moment and speak my heart out, about this day and celebrate the people I love and adore so much.
I'll start of with Daniel. I've known Daniel since the time Kiran and called me saying and I quote "okay so I met this guy, he's cute but I don't really know" to "holy shit Aana I can't believe I'm married to Daniel" about 10 minutes ago.
The room laughs again.
"When they first met I really didn't care to much about them, I mean I was in highschool trying to get through life and love or even hearing about love was far from my mind. But as their relationship grew I found myself genuinely invested in them. You see, girl talk is a glorious thing; it's a great way to dissect and analyze a relationship and also quite entertaining. So Daniel, whatever you think I know about your relationship with Kiran, triple that. I know everything. Even what you think I don't know, I know it. I am all knowing. So you my friend, better watch yourself.
Over the years watching Daniel and Kiran get close and his constant effort to embrace our family's culture made me question his intelligence and his ability as a lawyer because we are honestly a really crazy family. I don't why anyone would willingly trap themselves with us but love is crazy beautiful thing and Daniel you are now trapped for life. Congratulations and welcome home."
She has every one of us laughing out loud and including the couple who can't get enough.
"Jokes aside though, I want to take a minute to describe a moment that made me fall in love with Daniel and know that he is the perfect person for my K-apa. I went to New York for spring break to spend some time with them, I know I need to work on my definition of Spring Break but truth is I'd follow them to the North Pole... ANYWAY, it's a really cold day in New York and Daniel had come home with dinner and told me that Kiran would be home in another hour. During that time Kiran was putting in insanely long hours at work and things were tense in the world of mergers and acquisitions and we all know how that is. Daniel tells me, "hey I'm going to take a nap, wake me when Kiran comes home." I'm like okay, cool! I continue reading, soon enough Kiran comes home, she's in one of her foul moods, it's a thing, meet me by the bar if you want more dirt on this, anyway she comes home, barely saying a word to me. I know not to poke the bear. I tell Daniel she's home, he gets up and takes her back to bed and says "hey, listen I laid down and warmed your side of the bed, get in and relax." He then goes to make her chai and brings it to her bedside and kisses her forehead.
When I say that I was floored, I mean I was FLOORED."
The whole room says "awww".
"Right?
Hear. Me. Out.
Sometimes the only thing we hear about love are the grand gestures, heck I was an English lit major, all I did was read about impossible love stories with these over the top gestures that honestly put me off of love, but I'd like to believe that all love stories start from small moments like this, the ones that the world doesn't get to see. The moments you tell your kids and grandkids about sitting in your living room during a sunny afternoon. Moments like caring for your partner to know that they need a warm bed and tea. That they may just need you to hold their hand and tell them you'll keep them safe. To draw you a bath after an incredibly emotional and physically tiring day..."
She looks at me and pauses for a moment. I feel my heart skip a beat.
"... so when I look out in the world and look for the kinds of people I want in my life, I look to this moment Daniel made happen for Kiran. It is my guiding star. After I realized the significance of that moment my next automatic thought was I wonder if he has a brother and if this thought process is a genetic thing I can cash in on... but sadly Daniel is an only child. So I'm shit outta luck y'all!"
The room roars with laughter and we clap for her again. I look and no one is eating their food they're just all enamored by her, fully engaged as she walks around the floor and looks people in the eye as she tells her story. She's a natural.
"And now, I get the distinct honor of telling you about my K-apa." Her voice wavers. She takes a second to compose herself still smiling, no doubt tears forming in her eyes.
"I can't describe the kind of person K-apa is without sharing my story first, it's not an easy one but it's important for you all to understand why I love this woman more than life itself."
"Fuck!" Kate whispers under her breath. I look to her and Elliot asks her what's wrong. She looks to Elliot, Mia and myself. "This is going to be an extremely difficult moment for Ana emotionally."
I feel my throat close up and the hairs at the back of neck rise.
"I came into this family when I was 10 years old. They took me in and loved me unconditionally. K-apa took me under her wing and she has been not only just a big sister and my biggest champion but my first real friend in life. There was a time when I was so lost, trapped and broken. I was a broken shell of a human being but K-apa's love never wavered. She helped put me back together piece by piece."
She starts to cry uncontrollably.
"She is one of the reasons why I am in front of you right now. Why I can physically breathe again, and talk, why I can walk again, why I can live my life again. Without her, Mama Nita, Nani and Alia Khala I would have never survived. I almost gave up on living this life and they all brought me back one day at a time.
K-apa, aap ke beghair main kuch nai hoon. Aap ke beghair main adhoori hoon aur zindagi jeenay ka tasuwar bhi nai kar sakti.
I am nothing without you, just an uncurling lifeline and I cannot picture living my life without you in it.
You are my lifeline. Hamesha." Forever.
She's completely broken. And I feel my eyes water. She takes two seconds to compose herself again and I see literally everyone crying. Mia is sobbing, Kate is leaning on Elliot and crying. Elliot looks up to keep himself for tearing up. How can she do this to all of us? She just lays it all out there no holds barred.
She begins again "Ladies and gentlemen, a toast to the most beautiful couple we know and have the honor of sharing our lives with. We're the luckiest humans alive." She giggles through her tears.
Mia is a complete mess in tears and looks to Kate asking her what happened. Kate then proceeds to tell her that at 17, Ana and her dad Ray got into a huge car accident. Ray died on impact and Ana sustained critical injuries and was in a coma for 6 months. Her pelvis fractured, spinal cord injuries, fully paralyzed. When she finally came to, she couldn't speak, or breathe on her own. It took her almost 3 years to fully recover and she had to defer college.
Mia gasps in horror while Elliot curses a higher power. Me? I'm just completely at a loss for words. I can't process. I am so overcome with emotion.
Everyone cheers her on, applause fills the room and we all drink. Kiran gets up from her seat and walks to Ana and kisses her face, crying and hugging her again. Ana then walks to her mom who gets up to hug her and sobs into her before kneeling down to her Nani who kisses her forehead. It takes her a few minutes but she regains a bit of her composure and she walks back to our table with her head low.
She walks up to us and I get up to let her slide through to her seat, her beautiful face so tear stained. Kate pulls her into an embrace and kisses her forehead. She looks up at Kate and confesses
"You're in that list too Kate, you save my life everyday, I'd die without you." Kate is starts to cry.
"Steele and Kavanaugh forever! 3" Kate says, her voice breaking.
"Yeah, forever!" Ana giggles through the tears.
Mia holds her hand out from across the table for Ana to hold and she takes it. They sit like that till Ana stop crying and starts to feel better. Mia eventually asks.
"Banana, I don't meant to upset you again abut what did you say at the end of yours speech in hindi? It sounds so beautiful"
Ana offers a smile " I said I am nothing without you, just an uncurling lifeline and I cannot imagine my life going on without you in it. You are my lifeline. Hamesha. Hamesha means forever and it's one of my favorite words in the language."
Mia squeeze her hand let's go as Ana sits up straight and quietly looks around. I'm so out of my depth here, I am desperate to hold her and kiss her. I try to move in closer and put my hand in her lap and she takes it squeezing it. I can see another tear fall and my heart breaks for her. She holds my hand until someone calls her name. Thankfully no one at the table notices our moment.
As the salad's get served, Daniel gets up and takes the mic to make in honor of his new bride. It's a wonderful speech with the right amounts of adoration and teasing.
"Ladies and Gentleman, I'm not really a man of the arts nor do I have a good singing voice, I'm more tone deaf than a donkey but there is a lovely woman here who has agreed to help me express my vision of how much I love Kiran. I love her till the end of the world, I'd find her no matter what came our way." Daniel concludes. "Ana dear, will you help me tell our love story?"
Ana quietly nods and makes her way to get up again after giving my hand a tight squeeze. As she shuffles out of the chair Kate looks to her tears in her eyes" Steele, what are you doing, don't sing that song, please." Ana looks back "It's okay Kate, I need to make new memories to it. It's been too long." She says with a small smile as her voice cracks as she continues to walk away.
Kate lets out a sob. "What happened?" Mia asks. "This song is the only memory she has from her accident from with her dad. She had been playing it on repeat all day on her iPod. It's so gut wrenching, I don't think I'll be able to watch this." Kate hides her face in her hands and Elliot pulls her into an embrace. My heart falls into my stomach.
Ana walks to the center of the stage with a mic in hand. She looks so sad, the lights dim and the room gets bathed in a pink hue. The piano chords fill the air and Ana's voice seeps through echoing and it's pierces through.
When the sun runs out
And there's no one to save you
Will you go to our favorite place
And try to say goodbye
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world
Will you find me?
Will you find me?
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world
Will you find me
So that we can go together
Together
Together
Together
When the moon breaks up
And the tide goes out of control
I will find you in the water
And swim us to the stars
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world
I will find you
I will find you
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world
I will find you
So that we can go together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
Together
The piano dies out and Ana's voice is the only sound that echoes the following words.
When the sun breaks up
And there's no one to save you?
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world...
Ana takes a deep breath, her tears falling, and begins again with the entire band joining her and the swell of emotion it causes is unbearable to experience. She looks up to the skies and sings with urgency as if praying to a higher power, pleading with shaking clenched fists and shaking her head. I feel numb, I can't imagine the pain she's feeling, the images flashing through her mind.
I will find you
Will you find me?
At the end of
(At the end of)
The world
I will find you
Will you find me?
I will find you
Please find me.
End of the World – Ingrid Michaelson.
The couple gets up from their chairs and go to Ana, embracing her and kissing her. All of us stand and applause and there is not a dry eye in the house. Kate and Mia are crying uncontrollably, I can see tears in Elliot's eyes as I feel my own eyes burn.
Ana walks back to our table, face tear stained but eyes are vacant. As she takes her seat, Kate pulls her into a crushing embrace but Ana doesn't react. I try to hold her hand and it's completely lifeless. Kate rubs her shoulders and arms, as if to heal Ana and get a reaction out of her. Kate looks to me with slight fear in her eyes. She pushes Ana back and holds her face "Look at me Ana, it's Kate, look at me. We are so proud of you, Ray is so proud of you, come back to us." After a beat, Ana responds in the smallest voice "I'm fine Kate." And she rests her head on Kate's shoulder for what seems to be the longest time, I keep running my thumb over her knuckles as I hold her hand.
After a while, Ana starts to visibly feel and look better. She barely eats her dinner instead opts for going around and making sure everything is up to par, going to the guests tables and making sure they don't need anything. I wish she would eat and rest. The band goes on break and the DJ starts to call on everybody to come to the dance floor and form a circle to initiate the lip-sync battle and dance offs between all the girls and guys in the bridal party. First up are the bride and groom and Kiran wins the both battles by a mile.
Second, Ana and Elliot are called. They are so much alike and so competitive it's hilarious to watch. Elliot dances like a spastic bear to some song called Jackie Chan. It makes no sense but everyone seems to love it and Ana is giving him the side eye.
Ana steps up and playfully steps up to the center throwing her heels to towards to the stage.
I Like it by Cardi B starts to play and everyone cheers loudly. Ana proceeds to do an insane choreographed dance, mouthing the lyrics with all the sass interacting with everyone and mostly ridiculing Elliot and then suddenly picks up the cash gun placed on the stage while mouthing the lines "Oh I need the dollars (I said I like it like that) (ch-ching)" spinning around as the cash dispenses from the plastic gun and everyone screams in delight.
She wins that battle hand down. For the lip-sync battle Elliot lip-syncs to "U Can't touch this" by MC Hammer and the crowd goes wild including Ana and they all lip-sync and dance. She laughs with abandon and Elliot tries to dance up against her and she runs around the dance floor covering her face. I can't help but laugh myself, almost certain my face will start to hurt soon from the smiling. Mia stands next to me and nudges my arm and gives me a wink. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
"Okay... so AMAZING song choice and a solid effort for the performance, I'll give you that. But it's my turn now. SIT, BACK AND LEARN, BRO." Ana teases. Everyone cheers.
Ana starts mouthing and performing to Truth Hurts by Lizzo with all the sass in the world and people eat it up. She's so fucking on point and every move she makes is perfection.
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Woo
I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch
Even when I'm crying crazy
Yeah, I got boy problems, that's the human in me
Bling bling, then I solve 'em, that's the goddess in me
You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal
Help you with your career just a little
You're 'posed to hold me down, but you're holding me back
And that's the sound of me not calling you back
Why men great 'til they gotta be great?
Don't text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay
You tried to break my heart?
Oh, that breaks my heart
That you thought you ever had it
No, you ain't from the start
Hey, I'm glad you're back with your bitch
I mean who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick
I put the sing in single
Ain't worried 'bout a ring on my finger
So you can tell your friend, "shoot your shot" when you see 'em
It's OK, he already in my DMs
She subtly points to her crotch at the last line and everyone screams and Elliot falls to the ground bowing to her because she truly is a Queen and she sashays towards the stage, swaying her arms in the air to pick up her heels. Fuck, i'm a goner for sure. Nothing can break this spell I'm under.
After a few more battles the dance floor opens, I head back to the table and Ana comes by a little while later to take a quick rest and drop off her heels. She tells me her feet are killing her. She ends up looking at me and smiling, sleepy dreamy eyes and I lean in a bit. "I so badly want to kiss you Mr. Grey. You look so drop dead gorgeous in that tux, I may just jump you" Ana playfully whispers. "There's nothing I'd like more Miss Steele but we may cause quite a scene here don't you think?" I smile back. Ana throws her head and laughs. My playful girl is back.
The band comes back from their break starts to play all the classics and Ana and I end up being the only ones not dancing. She drinks her water and picks at her food a bit, swaying in her seat. I desperately want to dance with her and I decide to throw caution to the wind and ask her. I make my way to stand and Ana looks up puzzled.
"Miss Steele, may I have this dance?" I ask holding my hand out. She takes a sharp intake of breath and her face erupts into the biggest smile and stands up putting her hand in mine and shakily wearing her heels again. "Christian, I don't know how to dance like this. I'll mess up." She says nervously.
I lean into her ear "I won't let you fall baby, I promise." She looks back up and smiles again.
The band starts to play and it's "The Way You Look Tonight" and it's so fitting. I move with her and she can't stop giggling. I twirl her and she's all smiles, beaming back at me. Elliot and Kate come near and Elliot whistles suggestively and she laughs and sticks her tongue out to them as I spin with her. I can't stop looking her face; I try to memorize every detail of her and the way she looks. She's perfect in every way. I wish this moment could last forever. She moves so effortlessly with me I don't know why she was worried. I end the song dipping her and she throws her head back laughing. I desperately want to kiss her; she's so beautiful in this moment. We walk back to the table hand in hand. Everything about this weekend is perfect.
We sit at the table and soon Mia, Elliot and Kate join us. Dessert arrives and it's decadent. Strawberries and cream, chocolate covered strawberries and macaroons, chocolate fudge cake and salted caramel cupcakes. All the couples' favorite things to eat she tells us.
"Guys, this is all I want from life, dancing and dessert." Ana giggles as she takes a strawberry and dips it in cream and takes a bite. It makes my dick twitch and my mind roams, thinking of how I'd love to feed her, lick cream off of her breasts and make her come by licking chocolate off of her. God dammit, I need to control myself.
"Yep, I'm into that life!" Mia agrees taking a sip of champagne.
The band retires from their set and the dance floor opens again with the DJ . The first song is Taki Taki, Ana and Mia squeal and proceed to stand up from their seats and dance in place for a bit before leaving us and dancing all their way to the dance floor. Ana's cousins join as well; as they sway their hips suggestively and lose themselves in the moment.
If the text ain't freaky, I don't wanna read it
And just to let you know this punani is undefeated, ay
He say he really want to see me more
I said we should have a date, where? At the Lamborghini store
I'm kinda scary, hard to read, I'm like a ouija board
But I'ma boss, bitch, who you gonna leave me for?
You hoes got no class, you bitches is broke still
I'll be talkin' cash while I'm poppin' my gold grill (uh)
I'm a hoe, rich bitch and I work like I'm broke still (Cardi)
But they love be so fake, but they hate be so real (uh)
Ana and Mia act out the Cardi B rap aggressively against some of the groomsmen and Ana is a sight to see, she dominates at every turn. She's so fucking hot; I can't wait till we're alone tonight.
Elliot and Kate eventually leave to join the dance floor and the band is back together, laughing and dancing outrageously and spinning each other. I know I'm missing out but also watching them makes me happy. It's an unfamiliar realization, to say 'I'm happy' watching them.
As the night winds down and everyone is danced out, I can see Ana's energy wane, she's danced her ass off. We're sitting at the table talking drinking the last of the champagne as the resort co-ordinator comes up to us.
"Hi Ana, the kitchen closes up in another hour, I know you barely ate, want to head on over there and Chef B will cook you something? He wanted to see you as well."
"Oh god, he'd be willing to do that? Cause I just realized I'm starving." Ana giggles.
"Yeah go, head on over, he's waiting for you!" The coordinator laughs and moves to make sure the load out of the event happens without a hitch.
"Guys, you'll join me right? Please say yes." Ana looks at all of us and we smile and agree. Literally everyone at this resort is under her spell. How is this even real?
Mia goes off to the bathroom and Elliot goes to get one last drink from the bar. It's just Kate, Ana and myself.
"Kate, cover for us!" Ana bolts up and grabs my hand and drags me to the photo booth. God, I adore this girl I hear Kate cheer in the background "YASSS! Go Steele."
Ana and I make our way into the photobooth and she giggles. She sits on my lap looks straight at the camera smiling but I only want to see her. I kiss her cheek for the second shot. She suddenly looks at me with a warm smile, the 3rd flash goes off and then for the 4th flash I kiss her on the lips.
"You make my heart so happy Mr. Grey." She says before getting up. I pull her to me and kiss her hard. "And you make mine soar, Ana." I say looking into her eyes. Ana tears up and kisses me again.
When we get out the coast is still clear, we get two copies of the image strip and Ana giggles.
"I've always wanted something like this." She says looking up at me. I hold her hand and bring it to my lips for a light kiss.
Once Mia and Elliot make their way back to the table we proceed to head out the kitchen. Ana leads the way. The kitchen is fairly quiet since most of the staff is just cleaning up and heading out.
"Chef B, you're girl is backkkkk!" Ana runs in and give Chef B a hug. He's an Italian man in his mid 50's, tall with a belly and a mustache. He kisses Ana on the temple.
"Bella, let me look at you. Bellissima... all the boys danced with you?" Chef B asks.
"All my favorite boys danced with me so I'm happy!" Ana beams.
"Okay bella, what do you and your friends want to eat?" He asks, "What can you make us? Whatever is easy..." Ana smiles.
"Truffle grilled cheese with some chicken tenders and fries?" Chef B asks,
"BLESS YOU CHEF B, Yes please!" Ana giggles and we all laugh and we sit around an empty table.
A song comes on the radio and Ana, Mia and Kate start to sing to it with abandon.
Sorry if I'm up and down a lot (yeah)
Sorry that I think I'm not enough
And sorry if I say sorry way too much
You can go ahead and call me selfish (selfish)
But after all this damage I can't help it (help it)
But what you can trust, is I need your touch
I'ma scream and shout for what I love
Passionate but I don't give no fucks
I admit that I'm a lil' messed up
But I can hide it when I'm all dressed up
I'm obsessive and I love too hard
Good at overthinking with my heart
How you even think it got this far?
This far
And I can be needy
Way too damn needy
I can be needy
Tell me how good it feels to be needed
I can be needy
So hard to please me
I know it feels so good to be needed
Needy - Ariana Grande
The song is a confessional but also far from her truth, she's got so much strength in her. I'm constantly floored. I don't think I have it in me to experience emotion the way she does. She's unmatched and after tonight's revelations... I'm in complete awe of who she is.
She sits on the table, feet dangling and lost in her own thoughts as she hums and sings while checking her phone. Soon Chef B brings over sandwiches for us with fries and chicken tenders. Ana is like a child and hugs him and kisses his cheek. She takes a bite of the grilled cheese and nods in appreciation.
"Chef B, you're the bombest chef in the world." She giggles and continues to eat.
"Bella you're too kind to me." He smiles at her. Ana sways to the music and eats and we all talk about random stuff. We soon are done, I offer to leave first to make sure Elliot and Mia don't clock the fact that I'm not spending my evenings in my room at the Hacienda. I walk back to Ana's cottage, my mind completely consumed by her. She's all encompassing in the most beautiful way.
Authors Note: A lot of theories about Vishaal, all questions will be answered in Chapter 11. The only thing I'll say is that family is complicated and the drama is layered. So many layers to this onion.
Thank you all for your amazing comments and encouragement and to the person who posted on the facebook group. I didn't have facebook and created an account this afternoon to join it and say hi to all my new fellow fanfic familia. To the new followers and commenters, so happy to meet you! Hope you continue to follow along. I wish some of the guest commenters had account so I could reply to you via PM.
Pinterest: www dot pinterest dot com/paleseptember10/50-shades-of-love-and-light/
Music:
At Last - Etta James
Can't Stop The Feeling - Justin Timberlake
Finesse - Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B
Crazy in Love - Beyonce feat. Jay Z.
It Had To Be You - Harry Connick Jr.
End of the World - Ingrid Michaelson (I changed the lyrics a bit from the original. I envisioned the arrangement being a mix of her live performance on the piano only ending with the orchestra of the studio version)
Jackie Chan - Tiesto, Dzeko, Preme, Post Malone.
I Like It - Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
Truth Hurts - Lizzo
The Way You Look Tonight - Michael Buble
Taki Taki - DJ Snake, Selena Gomez, Ozuna, Cardi B
Needy - Ariana Grande.
