A/N: No excuses, just haven't been able to sit down and get this thing flowing right. Hope it truned out okay. Was asked to include bro fluff so we shall see what happens admist the chaos. :)
Chapter 26
+0024 Hours
Mikey P.O.V
"Hey, Leo… I just… I just want to thank you for… you know…" The orange banded turtle clenched his twisted fingers into fists, doing his best to ignore the pain that still resided there. Swallowing thickly, he blinked away the nightmarish image of their captor's hand, so close to where he had cowered, the knife gleaming menacingly as the smoke had lifted. "I can't stop seeing it, you know." His voice may have cracked, yet he pushed forth – determined to speak his mind. "Dad says it's normal after everything… But to see you like that…" A weak laugh bubbled out of his throat and quickly died in the tense atmosphere. "You're a hero, bro… My hero." His gaze raised to rest upon his eldest brother's bandaged face, "What you did… None of us could have done, not even before all of this..." Reaching out, he took Leo's hand gently, "Somehow you managed to beat him. I'd lost hope that was even possible, but you did it… you actually did it."
Mikey shook his head, clearing the tears threatening his vision.
Upon the infirmary bed, his brother was too still, his skin a pale mockery of its former shade and the darkness under his eyes and around his cheeks all too prominent. This wasn't the same Leo Mikey had once known, heck, he wasn't even the same himself, yet for Leo to appear to this defenceless... It all just took Mikey back to their horrific imprisonment when all hope had vanished.
Shaking his head of such dwellings, he gripped his brother's hand tighter, careful to avoid the thickest wrappings around Leonardo's palm.
"Please, Leo… We can't lose you. Not again. Just fight a little longer… Please…"
Lips quivering, the youngest turtle shifted in the bedside chair, moving close enough so he could rest his head against Leo's chest, feeling the slow yet steady beat through the plastron, appreciating the fact there was still signs of life.
He hadn't given up yet.
Not completely.
Donnie was still certain that the infection raging through their brother's system was unlikely to improve but instead would continue to spread until it had caused irreversible damage, yet Raphie had continued to remain stubborn in claiming Leo would pull through.
Mikey didn't know who to believe.
On one hand, he didn't want to doubt his brother's strength, but on the other, he had never been given a reason to disbelieve Donnie… It was just that nothing seemed simple anymore.
He didn't know what he could believe in.
Shuddering with the uncertainty of it all, Mikey focused back to his brother before him, wishing his words could reach his big brother. Still grasping his hand, the youngest shifted from his seat, dragging his aching body onto the bed, careful not to touch the numerous tubes and wire attached to Leo's form.
Pulling his brother's hand to his own chest, Mikey curled up into Leo's side, feeling the steady pulse of the heartbeat that still fought on strongly – determined to prove them all wrong.
"Just keep fighting, bro." The youngest muttered. "I believe in you. We're free now, you don't have to hide anymore…"
Squeezing his eyes shut against the tears, Mikey bit his lip, wincing as blood seeped from the healing wounds there. Nestling further into Leo's side he fought to control his breathing.
He would be strong for Leo this time.
Leo would get through this and when he did, Mikey would be certain he would be there.
He wouldn't let his brother suffer alone anymore.
He'd always been the one to be protected, the one who was allowed to smile and be himself, and now it was his turn to protect.
All he wanted was for his brother to be able to smile again.
As a tear rolled silently down his cheek, he counted the heartbeats, the constantly increasing number the only comfort amidst the silence of the night.
+0048 Hours
Donnie P.O.V
Rubbing his eyes, Donnie checked over his brother for the second time that hour, ensuring all vitals were still constant and that the fluids feeding into Leo's system were all at the correct levels.
He already knew they would be, yet he couldn't be too careful.
Leo's condition was critical, and if not for Raph's hope filled insistence that Leo could naturally overcome the odds, Donnie could have already acted to try and save him like the eldest had saved them.
Clenching his fists, Donnie looked down at his brother.
They had both lied to one another to try and protect their family, yet what the eldest had to go through had been despicable. It was no wonder Don's relationship with his eldest brother had fallen apart so violently in the aftermath, so now it was only natural that the genius was eager to make things up to his brother.
Somehow.
He recalled his words to Raph and Mikey after Leo had fled, his musings about being brothers.
"When was the last time we acted like that, though? When did I act like that? I pushed you all away – pushed him away…. And look what happened… How can we say Brother yet hurt each other like this?"
He had been right to be ashamed of himself, especially since, despite his desire to help his brother, he would probably hurt Leo again in just a day's time when he would have to be responsible for the decision regarding the infection.
Shaking his head, he collapsed into the stool beside Leo's bedside, careful not to jar his own shell.
"What can I do Leo?" The genius sighed, screwing up his snout in frustration. "Always, always, we've had each other's shells… How did we let him change that for us?" Letting out a heavy breath, Donnie looked down at his brother's face, staring at the lines he hadn't ever noticed before. "I was so wrapped up in my own problems I didn't notice yours…" Running fingers across Leo's arm, weaving between the IVs and bandages, he cursed his own weaknesses. For so long he had looked inwards to try and do the best for his family, but somehow, he had failed to look out to what his brothers were actually going through. Machines and calculations had always been his escapes, however, the fact it had taken Adamu to sour the taste of his escapes for him to open his eyes to reality was sickening. Donnie could only now see how limited his perception of his place in the family had been.
"I'm sorry…" He choked out, bowing his head to rest upon his brother's hand. "I'm so sorry it's taken so long… Come back to us and I'll do better. Please Leo… Let me make it up to you…"
Grasping Leo's unmoving hand, he could feel the skin temperature radiating through his fingers, telling his rational mind just how bad the infection was. All the antibiotics seemed to have such little effect and each time he changed the bandages the smell and appearance of the wound told the same horrifying tale that healing would not occur easily.
"Fight it, Leo. I don't care about ego or any of that… Prove me wrong, even if it's just this one time, just prove me wrong…"
Swallowing thickly, he raised his head, watching the heart monitor for even the slightest sign that his eldest brother had heard his plea.
He wasn't certain, yet he could have sworn there was the slightest alteration in the beat – a quick jump of a pulse – but the anomaly vanished as soon as it appeared.
Clenching his jaw, Donnie shook his head as he stood and turned back to his desk.
He had the next course of medicines to prepare and his own shell to check.
"Prove me wrong. And do it fast." He whispered one final time. "As we don't have much time…"
+0050 Hours
Raph P.O.V
Casting a glance back to the door where Don had just disappeared through, Raph took a breath. Finally, he was alone with his comatose brother.
"Hey bro..." He offered a sad smile. He knew the looks his family kept throwing his way, knew their eyes held the sympathy as if his beliefs that Leo would improve weren't grounded in reality. "You're cutting it pretty close, don't you think... but then isn't that what you usually do?" Taking hold of one of his brother's hands he felt the heat radiating through the bandaged palm and took note of the way the wrappings now snuck their way further up the wrist, more towards the forearm now, a depressing reminder that the infection was - as Donnie had gravely predicted - spreading more aggressively.
"Don's put the deadline tomorrow morning, Leo." The former hothead explained to the still form in the bed, "Rockwell will be coming back down here to assist... I honestly thought this would be something else you could beat..." His voice cracked a little, but he managed to bite the rest of the words back before his emotions got the better of him. Even now, his fear of Adamu made him suppress his feelings... That was something he was talking about with father, albeit with much reluctance on his part. His father was so supportive of each of them - probably his way with dealing with his powerlessness during past events - but he was no Leo.
As long as he could remember, Raph had found his rock to be Leo. His elder brother, the one he could confide in without having to worry about breaking his tough guy act. Together they swore to protect their little brothers... But when Adamu struck they were rendered helpless.
There was so much Raph wanted to apologise for, to explain his reasons for what he did, to confess the nightmares he was still haunted by... But he knew that all those would be nothing compared to what his big bro had endured.
Was still enduring.
"I'm sorry, bro." He muttered, "I wish I could have saved you, could have taken your place. You've gone through so much... and I..." He choked again, biting his tongue to strangle the rising sob. "I just want a chance to make it up to you... Please don't leave us... We're still struggling, we're still not whole..." Sniffing he lowered his head upon Leo's hand, "We need our big brother back... I just... I just wish you could hear me... I need to say so much... But... But..."
"But I just want to hear your voice again..."
Raph spun around, hastily wiping away his tears, yet Mikey didn't even blink. He just stood close behind Raph, staring at Leo, tense jaw making the scaring around his mouth even more prominent.
"Mike..." Raph muttered, and slowly his baby brother turned his sad gaze to him. Raph held out a hand, and Mikey stepped closer. Without a word, Raph opened his arms and embraced Mikey. At once, the tension around his brother vanished and he melted into his older brother's plastron, burying his head into Raph's neck as he clung on as if for dear life.
"I don't like seeing him like this, Raphie..." Mikey eventually admitted, not pulling away from his brother. "I don't want to think that he might..."
"He will wake up." Raph interrupted, sensing where his brother's thoughts were headed. "He can't leave us. Not like this."
Mikey hummed in agreement, yet Raph could tell he still wasn't convinced.
"I saw him thrown into that place dead..." The youngest breathed after a long pause. He didn't meet Raph's eyes. "And then I watched as they threw him in again after he claimed they tried to drown him..." Those once bright blue eyes turned up to meet Raph's own. "I've seen him at what I thought was his worse, but at least he was still fighting there... I don't know why, but now he seems to have given up..."
He swallowed audibly.
"You know you asked me what watashi mo tsumi o okashita meant... I lied. It didn't mean whatever I told you, it means I'm sorry little brother, I also committed a crime..." The youngest let that settle in Raph's mind for a moment. "And now we know what he meant... If I had asked him... Maybe he wouldn't have had to tell us like he did... Maybe he wouldn't have ran... Maybe Adamu wouldn't have-"
"ENOUGH!" The new voice made both turtles spin round, startled by the anger in Donnie's voice. "How dare you try and take responsibility, Mikey? How were you supposed to guess? I made a deal as well; I should have interpreted the signs. I'm the genius. It's my responsibility!" Brow furrowed in frustration, Donnie moved to his brothers' sides, not meeting their gazes. "I sent him back into the arms of that monster." He choked out, "Not you, Mikey, not Raph. Me. And when I do this..." His hand trailed tenderly across Leo's palm, "Any chance for mending what went wrong between us will be destroyed."
Shaking his head, Raph bit back all the sarcastic responses he could come up with, fearing what consequences they could result in. Instead he merely released Mikey and stood beside the genius.
"I mocked him, Don. I told him he was a rubbish leader, not knowing that he was working on plans as we spoke. I insulted him when he must have been suffering himself... How does that make me any less guilty?"
"We all hurt each other in our own ways..." Mikey whispered, hands clenched tightly in his lap. "We all just want a chance to get everything in the open, to speak with our brother again..."
"I hate myself." Donnie eventually muttered. "Adamu sent me everything. Everything that ever happened to each of us, and I didn't even think of telling you guys... Just think, it could have helped with healing - it could have assisted accepting what happened to us-"
"It could have been too much too soon." Raph added calmly. "He broke us, and those could have made matters worse. Whatever your reasoning, you ended up doing the right thing. No one can hate you for that."
Without another word, Raph placed one arm around his lanky brother's shell careful to avoid the plastic covering where sections had been removed. Grudgingly, Donnie accepted the hug, and Raph could see the hidden relief that they hadn't called Donnie out for any mistakes.
"Whatever happens tomorrow," Raph murmured as Mikey joined the turtle pile, "We'll see it through together. Not one person is carrying this alone - "A pointed look at Don here, "We started this together and we'll finish it as brothers. Agreed?" Murmurs of agreement arose from the other two and the second eldest cast a glance over his shoulder.
"You hear that Leo. We need you. Don't give up on us yet. We haven't given up on you."
In an unspoken agreement, the brothers parted and took places around the bed. The coming night would be long and dark yet having one another there meant no one would shoulder it alone.
Eyes turned to their fallen brother, they did all they could.
They waited, and prayed for a miracle.
+0064 Hours
Splinter P.O.V
As the new day arose, the aging rat began his morning routine, hoping for some comfort from the familiarity of the movements.
First, he changed into his kimono, rolling his futon up and tucking it neatly away. He then took out some incense and lit it, carrying the smoking sticks to the miniature shrine in the dojo. There he prayed that his beloved Tang Shen would guide Leonardo's spirit back to where it belonged and wished for the continued strength to do his part in protecting his children from further harm.
Rising from his meditations, he began a kata - feeing the pull of muscles that had been too tense with worry as of late and focused his efforts there. After a good hour, his fur wasn't even damp from perspiration, and with a final bow to his beloved, he made his way to the kitchen.
The silence of the lair used to be disturbing, yet now he had grown accustomed to it. There was still a long path left ahead to travel, yet for now he would take comfort in the mere fact that he could sense his sons' presences around him once more.
"Morning, Master Splinter." Splinter's ears pricked up at the feminine voice and, with green tea in hand, he moved out towards the pit, smiling at the appearance of his red headed pupil.
"Good morning, April." There was a clatter outside in the tunnels and the rat shook his head. "And Casey." The raven-haired man's head popped up from above the turnstiles, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Yo, s'up rat dude." Casey then sobered up, "How's it looking?" At this Splinter's ears dropped.
"When I saw him last night, it was not looking promising." he hated to admit, "The infection hadn't spread drastically, yet neither had it receded."
He watched as the two young humans' expressions dropped, deep sadness filling the room.
With a deep breath, April – ever the strong rock of the extended Hamato family – squared her shoulders. "Then we'll just have to help as much as we can." Bowing his head, Splinter offered silent thanks for such a caring friend to his sons, glad that in their darkest hours these two would offer their guidance.
"Greetings, Splinter." Rockwell floated over the turnstiles, eyes darting around the entire room as if taking every reding that he could in that short moment of time. "I am guessing no change?" Splinter shook his head.
"Allow us to go through, Donatello should be there already."
And indeed, he was, as were Raphael and Michelangelo. All three were clustered round the computer with wide eyes.
"Guys?" April enquired. "Is everything..." At this moment, Donatello turned up, his gaze watery. Splinter felt his heart clench, yet his son spoke the words he had dared not to consider a possibility.
"It's receding..." The genius beamed, "All tests have come back positive. I don't understand it, but it's receding. I won't have to operate." The joy in his son's voice was infectious, and the rat found himself smiling widely as well, relief escaping his usual sense of control.
"Oh thank the gods." He breathed. Moving to his sons' sides, he embraced them, and they in turn returned he gesture, each as pleased as the others. In a low voice he added quietly so just they three could hear, "He heard your voices. He has listened."
Releasing them, he turned to Rockwell. "I assume you and Donatello would like to exchange notes, so for now allow us to leave you both." With these words he guided his children from the room, allowing the medical experts of the family a chance to discuss the latest developments.
"Father." Splinter looked down to meet Raphael's self-conscious gaze. "I had watch last night, would you mind if I turned in?" Smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, the rat nodded his approval.
"Of course, my son. You have helped guide your brother home." At his words, Raphael's face dropped.
"No. He isn't here yet..." With a shy smile at Casey, the former hothead dragged his feet towards his room, leaving his father watching the scene sadly, knowing in his heart his son's words were true.
There were still plenty of battles still to come, one little victory didn't change that.
+0065 Hours
Raph P.O.V
As glad as he was that his brother was showing signs of recovery, Raph still felt that this wasn't enough. He knew he was being stupid, irrational even, yet he felt that more progress should be occurring.
The real reason he had asked his father if he could disappear was due to an itch that had been bothering him ever since he sat beside his brother's beside the night before.
He had experienced what he could only describe as a spiritual pulse - a spike of a connection he had only felt when he had stumbled across his brother on the spiritual plane to face Adamu. Call it a hunch or an act of desperation, he wanted to know if he was right to think his brother's spirit was reaching out to him.
Why his father hadn't picked up on the sensation before now, Raph couldn't begin to guess, but he knew if he himself didn't try now, he would regret it.
Setting himself upon the floor, he crossed his legs and closed his eyes.
Taking a breath, he tried to remember all those lessons Splinter had given them about how this worked, about calming the heartbeat and emptying the mind, but it seemed impossible to do.
In the other room his brother was still laying there half dead, his mind far from his body. How could he empty his own mind of that fact? Leo was his rock, always had been. To do something like this without him...
No. Focus.
He had to do this. Hadn't his brother done the impossible for them? Surely this was nothing in comparison?
Heaving a sigh, he straightened his spine and squeezed his eyes tighter together.
Breathe in, breathe out….
Focus…
Leonardo….
Ani…
Please…
Come back to us…
With a defeated sigh, Raphael opened his eyes.
He couldn't do it. It was beyond him… It was –
Hold on.
Turning around, he took in his surroundings. No longer was he in his room, but rather he was in an empty space – an endless plane stretching out in all directions away from him. The only change in the surroundings was a glowing figure.
"Leo?" Raph breathed, stumbling to his knees. "Leo!" He cried out as he caught a better glimpse of the figure. Before he knew what his spiritual form was doing, he was sprinting across the plane towards his brother. Skidding to a stop beside him, the younger turtle reached out to touch Leo, yet his fingers passed through his body. His body was still, eyes turned to the far distance, wide and unseeing.
"Come on, bro…" Pleading now, he kept throwing his hands through the phantom form, attempting get its attention. "You're safe now. You can come back to us! We'll protect you, we love you…" As he begged, his fingers passed through his brother's chest area and suddenly he snapped up, eyes blinking for the first time.
"Leonardo?" There was still no answer, however to Raph's amazement, his brother's lips began to move. Leaning closer, he could just about make out the words.
"…Afraid… Don't hurt me… I can't leave… Please… Leave me alone… So scared…"
Carefully, the shorter turtle wrapped his arms around his brother, careful not to phase completely through him.
"I'm here. We're all here. You don't have to be afraid; you don't have to hide…"
There was a pause in the mutterings, and for a moment, Raph could swear Leo's eyes flickered over his own.
"Raphie…"
Without any warning he collapsed to his knees yet before Raph could follow him, he blinked, only to open his eyes to the sight of his own room.
"W…what…"
Spinning around in confusion he searched desperately for his brother, only to realise the horrifying truth that he had let the opportunity pass through his fingers. He had failed his brother. He wasn't good enough… He didn't know what he was doing… He couldn't save his brother…
Dropping his head into his hands he tried to hold it together. Maybe if he focused, he could get back to Leo… Looking up, he frantically began to gather up the half burnt out incense sticks, struggling to grasp them as his hands began to shake. Maybe if he tried really, really hard to clear his mind…
"GUYS!" A cry from Donnie caused him to jump to his feet, panic rising in his throat. "It's Leo! He's waking up!"
Like I said at the start, I'm sorry for the long delay. I've been overworked and stressed with very little writing time and little inspiration, so I am sorry. Good news, it seems like there may be a couple more chapters than originally intended, but hopefully I won't leave this next chapter as long! Whoops...
Soooo:
- Was that Raph's doing?
- What will Leo be like?
- How will the bros cope?
- WILL THEY EVER FULLY RECOVER?!
Thanks for all your reviews guys and keep them coming. :D
See ya all next chap,
LL99 Out.
