I'm going to add a disclaimer here that I live in the UK where I am lucky to have access to the wonderful NHS when I need it, so I know very little about how the American health insurance system works. I tried to do some research but some things seemed to contradict one another and I just ended up becoming even more confused, so I just made it work the way I needed it to for the story I have planned, so please forgive me if it's not at all accurate!


"Is something wrong?" Hiram asked, noticing Rachel didn't really seem herselfas they ate lunch, and he wondered if there was something more than her worries about her Mom on her mind.

Rachel sighed, "I was meant to go over to Kurt's this afternoon to work on a project but I, I don't want to leave Mom."

Hiram reached out and gently squeezed Rachel's shoulder, "you should go" he told her, "your Mom's sleeping and your Dad and I will be here and I'm sure your Mom wouldn't want to feel like you were missing out on both, school work, and spending time with your friends, because of her."

Rachel nodded, "I…"

"Your Mom will be fine Sunshine" Leroy reassured her, "she'll sleep for a while, and, like Daddy said, we'll be here for her if she wakes."

"Okay, will you try and get her to eat something when she wakes?"

"Of course" Leroy nodded.

"And her gum, she might want her gum…"

Leroy made a mental note to ask Shelby if she needed to change her nicotine patch as Hiram reassured Rachel, "we'll make sure she has everything she needs, or wants, to be comfortable."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "I, I'll go to Kurt's."

Shelby reached for her phone once she woken eough to focus, and she tried to convince herself that it was the valium she'd taken after her appointment making her hands shake as she scrolled through her phone until she found the principal's cell phone number, quickly hitting dial before she changed her mind. "Hello" he answered the call after the third ring.

"It's erm, it's Shelby, I'm sorry to disturb your weekend but…"

"No, no, the man excused himself from his family, shutting himself in the kitchen for a little privacy, "I gave you my number so you could call me whenever you needed to, is everything okay?"

"I, I don't really know anymore" she said honestly, the man concerned by how broken Shelby sounded. "I erm, I don't really want to go into details but something happened last night and I, I've seen a doctor and my therapist this morning and the doctor erm, she, she wants me to take some time off work".

"Okay."

"She's given me a note, just for two weeks and then I…"

"Shelby, you take as long as you need to get back on your feet, and don't worry about anything, I'll make sure it's all sorted."

"Thank you, I, I didn't want to call you over the weekend but I didn't want to drop it on you first thing Monday morning."

'No, no, it's fine. Honestly Shelby, don't worry about it. "

"Thank you."

"Are you…" he thought about his words, worried for Shelby's wellbeing as he asked, "whatever happened, do you, is someone with you? Are you alone?"

"No" Shelby said honestly, "I, I'm staying with my daughter and her fathers."

"That's good" he was glad Shelby bad people supporting her, "take it easy Shelby, look after yourself yeah? And call me if there's anything I can do."

"Yeah" Shelby smiled slightly, "thank you."

She ended the call and flopped back against the cushions, letting her phone fall from her hand, only seeing the message notification as her phone hit the mattress. It took her a second to be able to focus on the screen once she'd picked her phone up again, a mixture of exhaustion and medication making her feel like her brain was only working at half the speed it usually did. She recognised the text was from her daughter but she had to read the short message several times before the words made sense, 'At Kurt's working on a project. I love you Mom R*' She smiled, silently thanking whoever invented autocorrect as she prodded at her screen with clumsy fingers, 'Have a good time, I love you too xx'

Shelby didn't move, wasn't sure she had the energy. She dropped her phone back onto the bedside cabinet and laid back down again, curling herself into the foetal position and closing her eyes, desperately hoping that she'd be able to fall back to sleep for another week or so. She didn't though, was still desperately hoping for sleep to come when she heard the creak of her bedroom door opening, and she slowly forced her eyes open to find Hiram's head poking round the door.

"I didn't mean to wake you" he said softly as he stepped into the room.

"You didn't" Shelby didn't move, "I woke a while ago I just…" she trailed off, not sure how she intended to finish her sentence.

"How are you feeling?" Hiram moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Like shit" Shelby sighed, "like I want to sleep for the next month but like my brain is constantly whirring, I couldn't even tell you what's going on but it just won't stop."

"Do you want to come downstairs for a bit?" Hiram asked, "Rachel's at Kurt's and…"

"I know" Shelby whispered, "I, I had a text from her when I woke up."

Hiram smiled, "before she left she asked us to try and get you to eat something when you woke, and to make sure you had your gum if you wanted it. We won't force you to eat if you don't want to, but I did bring this up" Hiram held out the gum, "and Leroy said I should ask if you're still using the patches and if you are, if you need to change it."

Shelby thanked Hiram and put the gum in her mouth chewing on it for a moment before nodding, "I, I'll…" she sighed, "I haven't got the energy to move".

"I know I don't have to tell you this, but the lack of energy is probably because you haven't been eating Shelby."

"I know" she whispered, "and I want to but" she wiped at the tears she felt pooling in her eyes.

Hiram smiled sadly and took Shelby's hand, "why don't we do this one step at a time?" he suggested, "you need a new patch?" Shelby nodded, "can I get one out for you?" She nodded again and gestured to the drawer in the bedside cabinet, answering his next question before he answered it. He glanced over the instructions on the box as he took out a patch, "it's on your hip right?" he remembered seeing it when Shelby had undressed in the kitchen. Another nod. "Can I take it off?" Shelby didn't answer but tried to pull down the waistband of her pyjamas. Hiram carefully removed the patch from Shelby's skin before asking where she wanted the new patch placing, settling for her upper arm when she just shrugged.

"Thank you" she whispered.

"You've got nothing to thank me for, now, why don't we go downstairs? We can get you something to eat if you want it."

"Okay."

"Do you want to use the bathroom or anything first?" Shelby nodded and Hiram helped her to her feet, Shelby feeling like Bambi on ice as Hiram helped her walk across the hall to the bathroom, "are you okay?" he asked once Shelby was leaning against the sink.

"Yeah" she nodded, "but I…" Shelby wasn't sure how to admit that she didn't think she'd be able to make it downstairs.

She didn't need to though, as he always seemed to do, Hiram knew exactly what Shelby wanted to say, "I'll wait outside the door, shout me when you're done."

After a soft "I'm done", Hiram practically carried Shelby downstairs, sitting her in the armchair and tucking the blanket around her, "I'm sorry" she whispered as she curled herself up, "you shouldn't have to deal with this, I can go back to my apartment and…"

"We want you here Shelby" Hiram told her, "we want to help you, we don't want you to feel like you have to fight this on your own, we love you Shelby and we're happy for you to stay with us, good or bad, for as long as you want to okay."

"He's right" Leroy had heard Shelby and Hiram coming downstairs and had taken it upon himself to make tea and a single slice of toast for Shelby, "whether you like it or not Shelby, we see you as family, you're here because we want you here."

"Okay" Shelby nodded, still not convinced that she wasn't being a burden," thank you." Silence fell as Shelby picked at the tost, Hiram and Leroy trying not to watch her as she slowly ate the toast, surprising herself as she managed to finish it all, "could I… could I have something else?" she asked nervously.

"Of course" Leroy stood and took the plate from Shelby, "what would you like?"

Shelby thought for a moment, she didn't want anything big and she wasn't sure she could manage anything that wasn't bland, "a banana?"

"One banana coming up" Leroy smiled, pausing to gently kiss Shelby's hair, "you might not believe it but I am so, so proud of you." he told her before heading into the kitchen.

Hiram went upstairs a little while later, napping for a while as Shelby drifted in and out of sleep in the armchair, never sleeping for long but never stirring for more than a few minutes at a time either. Leroy sat watching Shelby sleep, his heart broke for the woman who had once been so confident, so sure of herself. She was doing everything right, she was going to therapy, taking her medication, she was opening up and letting people in but it just wasn't working for her and Leroy could only hope that she'd catch a break soon.

Rachel text Hiram almost an hour after he'd woken, asking if he could pick her up from Kurt's, "do you want me to go?" Leroy asked as the pair sat at the kitchen table where they'd been drinking tea and talking about how they could help Shelby.

Hiram shook his head as he stood, texting Rachel back to say he was on his way, "she asked me if I'd go so I'll go, just in case she wants to talk about anything."

"Okay" Leroy kissed him softly, "drive safely, I'll see you soon." Leroy finished his tea before heading back into the living room, smiling when he saw Shelby was awake, "hey" he smiled, "how are you doing?"

Shelby rubbed at her eyes, reminding Leroy of Rachel when she'd been younger, "I, I'm okay I think."

"Good" Leroy moved to sit on the arm of the chair l, thinking over his words for a moment before telling Shelby, "Hiram and I have been talking." He glanced at Shelby and noticed she seemed to be waiting for him to continue so he did. "We want you to know that we've been here before, we know what it's like, and well, we just want you to know that if there's anything you think you need that your insurance doesn't cover, or that it won't pay for, let us know. Let us know and we'll either help you fight them on their decision or we'll help you pay out of pocket for whatever it is you need."

"Thank you" Shelby whispered, "I, they've been okay so far" she began to fiddle with the edge of the blanket, "I've looked before and I think they'll only cover one therapy session a week so I'll have to pay for the second but I can cover that. I'm…" she sighed, she'd been thinking this over almost every time she'd woken, never sure if she was making the right decision, "I think I'm going to lay off calling the dietician for a couple of weeks, hopefully these new meds should increase my appetite but if nothing changes in the next week or two I'll call them, but I think I'll have to cover that too, I had a look before, when you mentioned it, the wording's a bit vague so I'll call the company to check but I think I might need an ED diagnosis for it to be covered."

Leroy nodded and took Shelby's shaking hand, "has your therapist mentioned the possibility of an 'other specified feeding or eating disorder' to you?"

Shelby shook her head, "no, and I don't think I want her to." Shelby's therapist might not have mentioned it but it was something she'd given a lot of thought to herself. "I know my relationship with food isn't 'normal' and that my lack of appetite has somehow spiralled into something much bigger than I ever wanted it to be, that it's not just something I can brush off anymore" she used the hand Leroy wasn't holding to wipe at her eyes, "and I know that a diagnosis won't change anything, that it would just be giving a name to the thing that I live with every day, but I, I I've tried to convince myself for so long that it's fine, that my appetite will come back and I'll be okay that I don't know how, or even if I'd cope with someone else confirming that it's not nothing anymore" she said honestly.

"Okay" Leroy gently squeezed her hand, "that's understandable. And I think giving your new meds time to work is sensible too, you can keep eating with us in the meantime."

"Thank you" Shelby said softly, her shaking hand reaching up to wipe at the tears she couldn't stop falling, clinging to Leroy hand as she whispered, "I'm scared."

She sounded so young, so broken and Leroy couldn't stop himself pulling her into his arms as he wiped at her tears, "what are you scared of?"

The word stuck in Shelby's throat, "myself." She closed her eyes, feeling Leroy hand between her shoulder blades, the simple touch grounding her, keeping her focused as she tried to explain, "last night, I didn't… I don't even remember waking up. Rachel came up to bed, I remember that, and then the next thing that's really clear is crying in Hiram's arms in my underwear." She looked up at Leroy, voice shaking as she asked him, "what if it happens again? But what if next time I do something else?"

Leroy sighed and held Shelby a little tighter, "I don't know" he said honestly. "If you don't remember it happening then it's no use me reminding you that you can wake us if you need to. I wish I had a solution for you Shelby, I wish I could say or do something to make this better, but all I can do is promise you that you're not alone, whatever happens, you're not on your own."

"Maybe I should go back to my apartment" she whispered. "After last night I feel that it's inevitable, that I'm going to do something and I, it would be better if Rachel, if nobody else had to deal with the fall out from that."

"If you want to go back to your apartment then we won't stop you, but I think you know that you hurting yourself when you're alone wouldn't make any of us feel any better, at least if you're here we can try to help you." Leroy would be lying if he said the defeated tone of Shelby's voice wasn't worrying him, "would it help if Hiram or I made sure that one of us was always with you?"

"What?" Shelby asked, "like a suicide watch?"

Leroy raised his eyebrows, "is that something you think we need to do?" he asked seriously, prompting her when she answered with silence, "Shelby?"

"I want to say no" she whispered.

"But?"

"But if you'd have asked me yesterday if I was going to force myself to eat until I threw up in the middle of the night I'd have said no to that too."

"Okay" Leroy whispered, holding Shelby close as she began to sob, "it's okay, I've got you, you'll be okay, I promise you'll be okay." Leroy wasn't at all surprised when, just like she had in the night, Shelby cried herself to sleep in his arms, but he didn't mind, not only was she exhausted and desperate for rest, at least he knew that, whilst she was sleeping, she wasn't hurting, either mentally or physically. He held her for a while until he was sure she wasn't going to wake before he carefully lifted her into his arms and laid her down in the couch so she'd be comfortable, covering her with the blanket and leaving her to sleep.