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So we are straight now? Everyone knows the theme from here? Good. Let's continue along those lines.
Also gave you a sneak peek of this chapter on Twitter. Let's see if you remember it.
Series 4 Episode 4
Rachel hated every second of the speed dating. She was glad that her sister thought she 'had' Benjamin or otherwise she knew that she would have been sitting at one of those tables. It was made worst by her stupid words. She only wanted to raise her concerns about how fast Melissa was taking things with Eddie. Maybe because she hoped that if they weren't past a certain point, she too could have a chance with Eddie when it all went wrong between them. She definitely couldn't watch them as they kissed.
No, she didn't want to go for a drink but there wasn't much time for her to answer as Melissa ran off to get their coats.
"Rachel, I know what you are thinking."
Once upon a time, she would have believed him when he said that. Once upon a time, he knew her inside and out. Once upon a time, she would only have to give him a look and they would instantly be on the same page.
Not anymore. Not since he started dating Melissa.
"Do you now?"
She couldn't hold her smile for long and it was getting harder to keep smiling at him. She had to show that nothing was wrong when everything was wrong. She had managed to hide that Stuart was blackmailing her for so long. So why couldn't she hide her dissatisfaction of his relationship with Melissa?
"It must seem crazy, me getting caught up in all this stuff, but I'm deadly serious about your sister. I just need to know that you're okay with that before we take it any further."
Take it any further. Rachel thought. Haven't you already taken it far enough?
Maybe she had disillusioned herself into thinking that Melissa and Eddie was just a fling that would end up fizzling out. Maybe it was because she found herself thinking more about the words that he had said outside the pub. Maybe because the more she thought about them, the more she started to believe them.
As much as she wanted to say no, she knew the answer that was going to come off her lips.
"Of course I am." She said before repeating it, for herself mainly.
"Good."
He gave her a smile before he walked off, probably to see where Melissa had got to and Rachel felt her heart break a little more.
"Tom, what can I do for you?" Rachel said as she turned back around after putting a folder back into the filing cabinet.
"Well, I was going to come and apologise for being a rather rubbish head of pastoral care but after last night, I don't think it would be right to say that I could stand here and say that I would be able to do a better job."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"What? The fact that Earl Kelly tried to throw a bin through the windscreen of my car."
"Oh."
"Exactly, I think I would be wasting my breath." Tom paused. "Do you want to talk though?"
"About what?"
"Some might be blind to it but… it is obvious to me and Davina."
"What's obvious?"
"That you aren't okay with Eddie and Melissa."
Even though she felt like he was going to say that, it still took her by surprise. It was obvious that the longer she let it go on, the more she was making a bad job of showing that it wasn't bothering her. She had left it far too long to deny what Tom had said. She found herself walking over to the sofa and sighing as she sat down.
"Who else has their suspicions?"
"No idea. I haven't been spreading it. I wouldn't do that to you." Tom said as he joined her.
"What am I going to do Tom?"
"I don't think I am best to come to for advice. I only married Lorna because when I begged Izzie to tell me what she felt about me, she told me that we had no chance and she didn't fancy me."
"I… I just thought Eddie knew me better. It… is my fault though. I… I basically told him the same thing on my first day back."
"So do you?"
Rachel looked at Tom. "Do I what?"
"Fancy Eddie?"
"Doesn't matter now."
"Doesn't it?"
"Tom, he is going to move in with my sister. I've… I've already lost him to her. And no matter how lonely I feel or the way that I can't smile at them anymore or the way that I feel like me and Eddie have lost the connection we had… It doesn't matter. I pushed him away and like always, they chose her."
"Doesn't it?"
Rachel swallowed as they both turned to see Eddie standing at the door. There was no telling how much he had heard.
"Eddie…"
"Just answer the question, Rachel."
"Which one?"
"Do you fancy me? Are you finally admitting that there was an us at the end of last term?"
She could see Tom looking at her, willing her to give Eddie an honest answer. She had obviously heard the gossip side to what had happened between him, Lorna and Izzie. She just didn't expect her to be in the same position.
"Eddie…"
"Just be honest with me, Rachel. For once this term."
"Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes… I fancy you. Or, even worse at the moment, I love you. And out of everyone in this school, you choose her. You choose my sister. And I know I should have said something four weeks ago when you wanted to talk but I wasn't ready then. I am only ready now because I can see what I am missing. I… I thought you knew me better Eddie."
Her mind caught up with her mouth and she hadn't realised that she had stood up. The words she had just said went over in her mind and she wished that she could say something to make it all better.
"Yeah, you're right. You should have said something four weeks ago." Eddie said as he stormed out of her office.
Rachel turned to Tom for a little advice and he shook his head at her. Obviously going after him wasn't going to be a good option. She just now had to wait it out.
Rachel had only gone to the staffroom to have a word with Davina to see how she was getting on with her course. She had only started the conversation when Melissa entered the room, looking rather upset. There were two reasons that Rachel could come up with; someone had told her that they thought that Rachel had feelings for Eddie or Eddie had broken up with her.
"You. You haven't changed one bit." Melissa shouted.
"What is going on?" Rachel said as she walked over to her.
"Pretending to be the doting sister? How very you."
"Melissa…"
The slap surprised her. She held her cheek as she turned back to her sister.
"He didn't have to say who he broke up with me for. I'm not stupid Rachel. You have always been jealous of me. Did you think I was taking him away from you? Or did you just already know how perfect he was already? Did you already know how good he is in bed?"
"I think you need to calm down."
"Not denying it then."
"Eddie is and has always been a friend."
"Right?" Melissa said. "So he isn't the guy that you have been going on about? You know, the one that asked you out before the fire?"
She had thought about lying to her sister but as Eddie entered the staffroom, she knew that she had to be as honest with Melissa as she had been with him earlier.
"Yes, he was."
Melissa looked between them.
"Fine. I know where I am not wanted." She said as she started to walk towards the door.
"Melissa, can we talk about it?"
"No. Just don't expect me to come running the next time you do something stupid. And I'll let Philip know the reason he won't be seeing you any more."
She sighed as she watched her sister go. She knew what Eddie was going to say and with a look, he didn't. Rachel knew Melissa. It would be no different once she had calmed down. The worst part of it was that she might have lost Philip in the process of getting Eddie.
"Can we talk?"
"I suppose we should."
