Chapter 29: Spider Helmet

"Step away from the Diabologizer, Blue."

Blue paused and turned towards the barn door. "Oh Skipper, you're right on schedule." She clucked.

The two lobsters from either side of the room shot nets at the three penguins.

Kowalski rolled his eyes as he watched them be dragged to his cage and tossed in as well. "In what world was going in the front door a good option?"

"Well, it's not like I had my usual options."

"I'm sorry, are you trying to blame your lack of options on me while I have been kidnapped? Did you forget that I was resigning at your behest anyhow?" He narrowed his eyes at him.

"Both of you! This is not the time!" Private exclaimed, putting himself between them.

Kowalski and Skipper glared at each other one last time before looking back at Blue. "So what's the scheme this time, Blue?" Skipper grumbled.

"Easy. World domination." She shrugged, now aiming the diabologizer at the Helmet. "While you boys are busy fighting yourselves, I'm going to continue with my schedule." She pressed the button and a bright green light enveloped the Helmet.

From there, the Helmet grew in size, much too large for a chicken to wear. It turned black and green. The large batteries along the sides extended and split into four long spider-like legs. The inside of the helmet grew sharp, metallic teeth. Then it roared, the sound amplified by the transmitter on the top, before running out of the barn.

For a moment, everyone stood there in shock. Kowalski was the first to look at Blue. "I think your impeccable math was, in fact, peccable."

Blue side-eyed him. "I hate you."

"You should let us out so we can clean up your mess." He leaned against the bars. "Because I doubt you can tame that thing on your own."

"Oh I'm not, but I'm not going to let you out either. Not in this condition at least, oh no no no." She chuckled, adjusting the diabologizer's aim. "No. I have a new plan. Release monsters upon New York and take control during the chaos."

"How original." Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Don't care." The hen looked at the lobsters for a moment as though contemplating whether to diabologize them as well. "Five monsters should be plenty." She nodded to herself and pressed the button again.

The penguins shielded their eyes and braced themselves for the pain they knew would probably follow being diabologized. However, after a second of not feeling anything, they peaked from their flippers to see their cage surrounded by a pale blue force field.

"What the deuce?"

Then an unmistakable evil cackle was heard from outside before a large bubblecopter burst through the ceiling and drifted gracefully to the ground. The copter folded itself away and the dolphin stretched on his segway. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the peng-u-ins and a chicken."

Kowalski sat up with a look of surprise. He himself did not expect this.

Blue took a step back. "You're not supposed to be here!"

"Oh? You stole from me and you didn't think I'd notice?" Blowhole rolled closer and leaned down to her. "I don't think you truly understand the mental prowess you have crossed, chicken."

"I'm not afraid of you, you overrated guppy."

Blowhole raised a brow and smirked. "Mmm, well. I'm afraid that was the wrong answer." He plucked the key from around her neck and tossed it to a lobster. "Red One, let the peng-u-ins out."

"Why are you working against me? We should work together! Two geniuses working towards-"

"Let me stop you there." He held up a fin. "No. I made the mistake of working with no-ones before. I will not make that mistake again." He pressed a button behind her and the diabologizer folded itself into a smaller package. "Plus I see no genius here. I see a thief, and not even a skilled one."

Blowhole then leaned away and looked over at the penguins. "I only came here for what was mine. I believe you peng-u-ins have some monster to attend to?"

"Right. Men, come on." Skipper nodded and slid out of the cage, followed closely by Rico and Private. Kowalski paused for a moment by the cage door, but after Blowhole blinked at him with his signature smirk, he smiled slightly and slid out after the others.

"So, Kowalski. What are we dealing with?" Skipper looked over at him.

Kowalski took his clipboard from Rico and flipped through a few pages and started sketching. "From what we observed in there and our past experience with diabologized objects, we are facing a spider-helmet beast...Which may or may not be brain-parasitic."

"Why the cod would it be a brain-eater?"

"Well…" He put his clipboard away. "It should be attracted to brains from how before the Helmet used brain power to inspire its telepathy powers. I would predict that if the mutant Helmet tried to eat your brain, before it completed the action, you should be able to think it out of existence, so to speak."

Skipper nodded, rubbing under his beak. "So we need to lure it out with some succulent brainpower, eh?"

"Ideally, yes." He glanced at him and then leaned away. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He asked, but there was a certain smile on his beak that made Kowalski's feathers crawl.

"No no no, I'm not playing brain bate." He took a step back. "I know that face. I won't do it."

Skipper grinned a little larger. "Oh come on, Kowalski. You go on at length about your genius and how I under appreciate it. Just let it have a little nibble and then overpower its circuits or whatever."

Kowalski narrowed his eyes at him. "Fine. But if this leaves me with lasting brain injury, I'm blaming you." He pointed his flipper at him.

"Whatever, just go clean up your ex-girlfriend's mess."

"She's not my ex. We never dated." He grumbled as he slid towards the helmet spider.

Skipper watched him and motioned to Rico. "Get the bazooka ready. The moment that thing is on his head, I want it blasted sky-high in case he's wrong." He paused. "Try not to hit him, but he is expendable."

"He's not expendable. Do not hit him."

Skipper turned and looked at Blowhole behind them. "I thought you were just here for your invention."

"I said I came for the things which are mine. I'm making sure Kowalski is returned in one-piece as well." He rolled his eye. "But when this is wrapped up, the three of us need to talk."

"And why the halibut would we need to talk?"

"Need I remind you that you owe me since I shared with you his location?"

"Fine. We'll schedule something later." He raised a pair of binoculars as he looked over at Kowalski and the monster. "Alright, Rico, on my mark."

Rico raised the bazooka with a nod, taking aim.

"Mark."

He shot the bazooka and they watched it hit its mark perfectly. The shrill Kowalski scream that followed reassured them all that he was fine.

"I'll be in touch." Blowhole nodded and rolled away as the other penguins slid over to Kowalski.

Kowalski turned and glared at them, eye twitching, face covered in soot from the explosion. "You shot at my head with a bazooka?! What the cod is wrong with you?!"

"It worked, didn't it? And you're fine, aren't you?" Skipper shrugged.

"I don't like your self-made options." He grumbled, crossing his flippers.

"Guess you'll have to stick around then."

Kowalski side-glanced him. "You're the one who wanted me to resign."

"Yeah...I know." He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "I may have been a little quick with the pink slip." He turned back towards him. "I still disapprove of your relationship with him."

"But?"

"But maybe I should let you see for yourself how bad of an idea he is."

Kowalski slowly lowered his crossed flippers. "So...You're going to let me date him?"

"Just because I know it will dissolve into ruin eventually." He paused, looked at him, and sighed. "...But we'll be there for you when it does."

A tiny smile twitched on his beak before he hugged Skipper. "I'll take it. Thank you, sir. Really, thank you."

Skipper smiled slightly himself and patted his back. "Alright, alright, enough with the sappy stuff. Let's go home."