Hey there! I am back with a new chapter! The name of the chapter is inspired by a song by Louis Tomlinson called "Defenceless". The song is seriously good so if you haven't heard it yet, give it a try!
Two chapters in ONE month? I'm as surprised as you all are! Happy reading!
I hope that I'm not asking too much
Just wanna be loved by you
And I'm too tired to be tough
Just wanna be loved by you
Dawn was staring at her ceiling, watching the fluorescent stars she had stuck on the roof, glowing in the dark. She loved the stars, the moon, the night sky in general and the universe fascinated her. It's so large, always expanding and hauntingly eerie. Her Mom was amazed when she heard that Dawn wanted her ceiling to be painted like the night sky and was happy on seeing the smile on the young girl's face when the roof lit up like that.
Maybe one day she will find someone who will share the same interests as her. Or even if he doesn't, he will respect her enough when she talked about what she liked. Stargazing sounded good. Maybe one day she would do it with someone special. Her didn't want to but the question was dancing around her mind. Would Ash appreciate something like this? Would Ash be surprised if she expressed her interests for stars? Or would he just brush it off?
She didn't want to think about what happened in school. She couldn't explain why she was so pissed but she knew Ash's comment pissed her more than it should have. He tried to talk to her to settle the misunderstanding but how could she settle something when she didn't even know what made her angry.
She wanted to talk to someone who would understand. She didn't want to tell anything to Leaf or May because Ash was their mutual friend and somehow everything she said to them would end up reaching his ears. It wasn't like she didn't trust them but talking about the mutual friend didn't look like a good idea.
There was a high chance that Ash told them about what happened and she knew it wasn't her place to talk about what he told others.
Looking at the phone which was resting beside her pillow, she wondered if she should pick it up and call anyone. 'At times like these I realize how much Ash and I talk,' she thought to herself. But she couldn't talk to Ash now, could she? Deciding to give it a shot, she picked it up and dialled a number. While patiently waiting for the call to be picked up, she wondered if it was a good idea.
"Hey Dawn!" The voice from the other end chirped.
Suppressing a smile, Dawn teased,"Even in phone calls you sound bubbly, Lyra."
"Can't help it," the girl laughed,"What's up?"
Dawn wondered how to approach the topic,"Umm, you know, just wanted to talk to you."
Lyra giggled again,"This is the first time you have called me on your own you know. I know there's something troubling you. And the trouble must be regarding Ash."
"Wha-"
"Come on Honey!" Lyra's giggle could be heard,"He is the first one you go to when you are in a bind. If you can't go to him it means either he is the trouble or its something you can only talk to a girl about."
Dawn sighed, rolling on her side as she faced the window. Lyra was right and Dawn couldn't deny it. It scared her how perceptive the girl was. The curtains were drawn but she could make out the silhouette of trees shadow which were on the curtain. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
Sounding concerned, Lyra asked,"What happened?"
Dawn suddenly got cold feet, "I'll tell you once I collect my thoughts okay? I don't even know what I am feeling at the moment."
Lyra wanted to know but didn't pressure her anymore. Dawn was like a cat, Lyra thought to herself. She would approach someone on her own, like a cat, disliked attention, like a cat and most of the times, was unapproachable, just like a cat.
"So is it about Ash?"
Dawn could feel her lips mumbling a yes and hid her face in the pillow.
Brain is a funny thing. When someone is sad, the scumbag brain would start thinking about more unhappy things to turn the person even sadder. Same was the case with Ash.
Ash was sad but at the same time helpless too. His heart was beating a little faster and he wondered if it always felt this pathetic if someone gets rejected.
He could hear his Mom and Dad giggling in the kitchen, talking about the cake she had baked and him trying to persuade her for one more piece. It was kind of sweet of them and Ash didn't want to interrupt their time, knowing full well that his Dad was leaving in the morning. He was going to come back two months later, after typing up all the loose ends in the city. He had already applied for a few works here and was hoping for the best.
Ash couldn't help but wonder how it was for their parents to stay sane even after staying so far away from each other all the time. Didn't they miss each other? After a hard day, didn't they want to run into each other's arms to feel all better? He didn't want to think about anything but the thoughts were buzzing around his head and he couldn't shake it off.
Hearing approaching footsteps, he closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep. The door to his room was unlocked and he didn't want to leave the comfort of his bed to get up and close it. He opened his eyes a little and saw the silhouette of his Dad standing on the doorway, followed by his Mom.
"Are you awake?" His father asked him and Ash wondered if he should be quiet and listen to them or sit up.
"Its just 9. I'm sure he is awake." Delia's words were true and Ash sat up, smiling sheepishly as he turned on the lights.
His Mom was holding a plate having a piece of cake and they both sat down at the edge of his bed, passing him the plate. Ash already had a big piece after dinner but another piece wasn't something he was going to turn down.
"Wanted to give it to you before your Dad finished it all in the middle of the night," Delia joked, making Aren put his right hand over his heart, faking hurt.
"Thanks for the mutual trust," Aren said, jokingly.
"Oh sush! I know you can't keep your hands to yourself after seeing cakes," Delia teased again, making Ash laugh too. His father grinned, admitting,"I love everything you bake. Not my fault you know."
"I will be at school when you leave," Ash chirped in,"So let me tell you now, have a safe journey and I'll miss you."
Aren grinned,"Take care of your mom for me, would ya?"
Ash gave him a two finger salute,"Ay ay! Sir!"
"God I missed this," Aren said as he sighed deeply and locked fingers with Delia,"I can't wait to be back for good."
Ash passed him a look. He wanted to ask the question which was always on his mind but didn't want the mood to turn sour, not when things could be completely normal if he kept quiet.
"Then why do you stay away like that? You can always come back home but you don't."
Aren knew this question was coming and gave Ash a little smile, not that Ash noticed because he was staring at the blanket with interest, not wanting to look up.
"Sweetie," Delia started only to be stopped by Aren.
"Your mother and I weren't in love when we got married," Aren said, taking Ash by surprise,"Our marriage was arranged and I didn't want to get married at all."
It was the first time Ash was hearing all this. He knew that his parents marriage was arranged but anything after that was a secret. Even his grandparents told him no such thing.
"Then why did you?" Ash couldn't help but ask.
Aren grinned,"When everything jumps on you and coaxes you to get married, there's nothing you can do." Hearing those words, Ash turned to his Mom who was, thankfully, grinning.
"What about you?" He asked his Mom who ruffled his hair.
"I wasn't seeing anyone at the moment and your Dad looked like a nice guy so I jumped on board."
Ash nodded, urging his father to go on.
"It was so awkward. We would try to keep the conversation at the minimum and say things when it was compulsory. It took us time but we got comfortable around each other and she got the job around that time too. Some of my relatives were not too happy with her going to work but she wanted to. Everyday there would be fights, shouting and what not. It was terrible."
Ash formed a lump forming in his throat. That's why his Mom didn't want to talk about it. He knew that his parents moved to Pallet Town when he was one year old and his Mom stayed here since.
"But whenever we go to Grandpa's house, no one behaves like anything was wrong or they hate Mom or anything."
Delia ruffled his hair, smiling,"Your grandparents weren't against me working but some other relatives were. They advised us to go to somewhere far away from them so I could work in peace. I applied for a job at Pearl company and got it and as soon as the appointment letter came, I packed my bags and moved here."
Ash nodded, listening carefully. He didn't know that. God it was horrible.
Aren spoke up again,"I decided to stay back with Dad and Mom since they were getting old. I would visit you and Delia whenever I could but things kept getting hard. It was tough balancing life with you two and my parents. Sharp comments from my sister didn't help either. So your Mom and I decided that we have to take a break from this. Our problems shouldn't burden you buddy."
"So for my sake you two stayed apart?"
"Whenever we met at that time, we fought. It wasn't something big or anything but fighting everytime we met was taking its toll. We figured cooling our head wouldn't hurt. We occasionally met up though, whenever we missed each other."
Ash passed his father a look,"You two didn't get divorced right?"
Delia smacked him lightly on the shoulder, bursting into giggles,"No! We didn't!"
Aren laughed and rubbed the underside of his nose,"Now with grown up and all, I don't think we have to beat around the bush anymore, right? If things get hard, you'll listen to us, right?"
Ash nodded furiously, saying,"I am so sorry for always saying you didn't love us so you were away.. sorry Mom for always fighting with you over this."
Delia patted Ash's cheek, feeling her eyes getting moist at that. "Oh honey. It's not your fault. I am sorry you ever felt that way."
Aren rubbed Ash's back, trying to calm the teen down. All this information was too much to be taken up in a go and Ash couldn't help but think that maybe, things will go okay now.
It was so quiet that Ash could hear the ticking of the wall clock in his room. It was 2 a.m. and he had to get up at 7 in the morning so that he could go to school on time but he didn't feel tired at all.
All he could think about was what his parents discussed with him. They loved each other but couldn't do anything to help the situation. His mind wandered to what would happen if he ever found himself in his Dad's shoes. What would he do?
He unlocked his phone and sighed. He didn't know what he was expecting to find but typed Dawn's full name in the google search bar. The results opened and he found all her bio-data on it. Her age, birthday, present height, schooling, everything.
"Her birthday is in November huh?" He said to himself and memorized the date,"Its going to be her birthday in a month."
He scrolled further and he had never been more horrified in his entire life.
Almost every headline portrayed her as a girl with anger issues and he opened the first one, trying to read it without losing his mind. It made her seem like an asshole who was taking privilege of being born in the rich family. He sighed deeply, closing the webpage and decided he would never look up her name again.
He turned to lay on his back, wondering if it was something she had to face everyday. Endless criticism and backslash from people who didn't even know her.
"She really lives in a world far away from mine huh."
He sighed, taking in all the data. No matter what he does, he can never stand beside her with equal footing. He knew that she believed everything was her mother's but that didn't change the fact that one day, she was going to inherit all these.
He hid his eyes by draping his hands over his head, thinking about everything. Maybe it was a sign that he should give up. She wasn't someone who he could reach.
The next morning at school
Misty was in front of an almost empty classroom. She peeked inside and saw Holly on her seat, headphones tucked in her ears. While making her way to Holly, Misty wondered how much time she had before people came rushing in. Class was going to start in 30 mins and she didn't want to face Paul.
"You always arrive early so I knew I would get you here," Misty spoke up, hovering over Holly who was surprised to see her.
"Hey Mist!" Holly got up, a big grin on her face,"Missed ya!"
"Missed you too!" Misty hugged her bag and sat down on the seat in front of Holly, saying,"God you are my senior now. Never imagined this would happen."
Giving Misty a laugh, Holly spoke up,"How's everything?"
Misty nodded,"Good. Gonna train for a while before I start participating again. How are you?"
"Nice!" Holly grinned and they noticed footsteps approaching. Misty got up, not wanting to intrude anymore,"Let's talk sometime. I hope you can."
"Sure!" Holly flashed her a grin,"Its been ages. We need to catch up."
Misty waved her goodbye and started walking out. She didn't want to come face to face with Paul, not after not contacting each other for over a year. The wound was still raw and she didn't want to pick on it. Somethings are better left untouched.
Her wish didn't last long when she saw Paul coming towards the classroom with his eyes fixed on his phone. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that if she stepped out of his way, there would be a very slim chance of him noticing her so she stepped out of his way, and started walking while fixing her eyes to the ground.
She wanted to peak a glance at him and when he was just a few metres away from her, she glanced up. She instantly froze when her eyes met his and she turned away again, without stopping her walk.
"Your hair got longer," he said the moment she passed him but she didn't acknowledge it. She knew that the moment she responds to it, she would lose her control and want to jump in his arms. So all she did was walk with her head down while repeating,'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.' in her head.
It was a rare occasion when the group had lunch together. On most days it was Gary going somewhere with Leaf and Drew hanging out with May. Maybe it was their idea to hang around Ash and Dawn so they didn't feel lonely. Moreover with Misty as an addition to their group, they wanted to catch up on everything.
"It was heartbreaking you know," Misty recalled her last final match,"I was sure I would win it but nope. I didn't. Took me a long time to get over that." She took a bite of her cheese sandwich.
Dawn was listening to it quietly and so was Ash, both of them plagued by their own thoughts. Ash decided that he would never bring the case up again. Even if by some miracle he and Dawn start dating, he would always feel conscious about the fact that she lived an entirely different life. From the outside it looked like she was just like them but he knew, heck everyone in their school knew. It was only a matter of time when she moves away to somewhere he can't reach. Pallet Town wasn't bursting with colleges either so they had to part ways one day or the other.
Clinging on to the hope that things would turn better was a wild dream, not meant to turn true. Ash knew it, but he couldn't make his heart accept that.
Misty nudged Dawn, snapping the girl out of her thoughts. "Daisy said that you came to the shop before!"
Dawn nodded,"Yeah. I went there few weeks ago with Ash."
Misty knew about that too and passed the boy a smirk, who realized that his feelings were plastered on his face and Misty knew about it.
"Next time, I'll bake you my speciality!" Misty beamed at the girl then turned to face Leaf and May,"You didn't forget Misty's special, did you? If you did, better brush up your memory."
The girls broke out laughing and the boys rolled their eyes.
"What about us?" Ash asked,"Won't we get invited?"
"Beg." Misty said with a stern, deep voice, making the girls laugh even more.
Ash rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue at her,"You haven't changed."
"I have changed," Misty wanted to sit crossed legs but since they were wearing a skirt, it wasn't an option,"But at the same time I'm not a different girl either. Don't know if that makes sense."
"We were thinking," Gary sat up straight,"Of celebrating our upcoming birthday at this restaurant. So keeeeep your schedule free on that day. All of you."
Dawn passed him a look. Our birthday? What?
Apparently her look of confusion was noticed by Leaf, who laughed while rubbing her nose,"Gary and I share the same birthday, so yeah, our."
Dawn gave a surprised,'What!' and then turned to Gary," When is your birthday?"
"8th of October," Gary passed her a look,"You didn't know?"
Dawn felt a little embarrassed,"I didn't. Sorry."
"Dude check Facebook, stalk our profile, it's nothing to be embarrassed about," Drew said, grinning.
"When is your birthday?" Dawn asked him then turned to May,"And yours?" She then turned to Misty,"What about you?"
The gang laughed. Drew was the first one to speak,"January 15th."
May spoke up next,"May 18th. And before you speak anything, yeah, my Dad thought it would be funny to name me after the month I was born in."
"Come on May," Drew poked his girlfriend's stomach,"That's the ultimate Dad joke."
"At least he didn't name you Mayonnaise and abbreviated it to May," Gary added, making everyone laugh even more. May wanted to punch him but he was right. Thank god her Dad didn't do anything like that.
Dawn then turned to Misty who said between giggles,"March 20th."
"You could have just looked up these on Facebook," Drew said again,"There wasn't any need to, you know, take everything Gary said seriously."
"I don't actually have a Facebook profile," Dawn admitted, playing with the hem of her skirt."
"What?"
"Yeah," Dawn leaned back,"I didn't think I needed one. Not until now at least."
Ash knew why she said that. But he was going to act like his input wasn't necessary.
"When is your birthday?" Misty asked and before Dawn could say anything, Ash spoke up,"30th of November."
Silence. It was so quiet that Ash could swear he heard his own heartbeat. But the damage was done.
"Y-yeah," Dawn tried to ease the tension,"He's right."
"How do you know that?" Misty innocently asked," She isn't on Facebook or anything." Ash passed her a glare and after few moments, it dawned on her(pun intended). Ash stalked her on the internet.
Sighing, Ash said,"I was searching for her social media profiles some time ago and it came up."
"I am not on any social media platform," Dawn turned to face him. She wasn't accusing him but it sure sounded like it and it was the first time they were talking after she stormed off yesterday.
It was not how Ash had imagined they would start talking but it was a start. However horrible it was but it was a start.
"I said I was searching. I didn't find any."
Dawn nodded, understanding his words,"Well I can't help it if my name comes up in search results. You know how things are."
Ash nodded and everything did too. She didn't want to talk about it. Neither of them wanted to bring it up either.
The sound of the bell ringing brought them back to their senses and they got up, dusting their clothes and started walking to their class.
Gary's car couldn't carry all of them at once so he decided to leave it around the block so he could get it later. The shop wasn't that far from their school but moving in such a large group always took long time.
Dawn was talking to her mom on the phone, walking behind everyone else to get some privacy. Ash was just a step ahead of her, making sure she wasn't left behind.
"Yeah," Dawn giggled at something her Mom said,"I will."
A few moments later, she hung up the phone and looked up, her eyes meeting Ash's. This time, he didn't look away and neither did she. She took a long step to walk beside him and Ash felt incredibly happy even though it was such a small gesture on her part.
"Sorry," she mumbled and for a moment Ash wondered if she misheard her.
"Why?"
"For getting pissed for no reason."
Ash put his hands in his pocket, saying,"It's no biggie. Sorry for stalking you on the internet."
Dawn laughed at that and shook her head,"God its okay. I should open an account somewhere though. Only WhatsApp isn't helping."
"You can try Instagram first," Ash grinned at her,"Keep it private so only friends can see what you post."
"It will mostly be cat and dogs pictures though," Dawn laughed again.
"I didn't know you adopted a kitten or puppy."
"I didn't. Want to adopt one though."
Ash nodded. She was definitely a pets lady. "If you get a cat, what will you name her?"
Dawn thought for a while,"Wouldn't it be wonderful if I name my cat Puppy and my dog Kitty? People would get so confused all the time."
Ash laughed too hard at that,"That's evil. Don't do that to the poor cats."
Others were noticing the exchange between Ash and Dawn but didn't say anything. The two of them hardly talked after the day at amusement park and right now they looked so comfortable that no one wanted to interrupt them. Dawn had a big grin on her face and was so engrossed in what Ash was saying that she didn't even realize Misty snapped a picture of her and Ash.
"She totally likes him," Misty whispered to others, making sure Ash or Dawn couldn't hear them. She showed the picture to others, making them grin too.
"Why do you think that?'' Gary asked. He was sure that the girl felt something too but always brushed it off when Dawn denied having feelings for Ash.
"I don't know," Misty shrugged,"The way she looks at him is.. I don't know, she looks at him like he hung the moon for her."
Leaf and May giggled, knowing what Misty meant. Their chat was short lived when Dawn spoke loudly,"You're terrible at choosing names!" Her laugh at the end showed that it wasn't a fight, just friendly banter among the two.
"What happened?" May asked, a grin already forming on her face on seeing Dawn laugh like that.
"He said that Pine cone was a good name for a cat!" Dawn laughed even more after reliving the memory,"And Butternut a good name for a dog. God I can't stop laughing!"
Ash couldn't tear his eyes away from Dawn. The way her lips curved into a smile, the way she would shake her head slightly whenever she laughed too hard, the way her voice turned a little shriller with the laughter, everything was getting engraved on his brain. Everyone around him was laughing too but his eyes were fixed at only Dawn and Ash knew he was whipped. He felt so vulnerable, so weak.. So defenceless against her charms.
He knew his resolve to forget her was going to break.
He just couldn't stop loving her.
.
.
Do you guys know how much I love you? I joined fanfiction when I was just 15 and now I'm 21! I've spent 6 years here and god I loved every moment of it! I am glad I started writing and shared what I wanted. I'm so so happy that you guys like this story and made it reach 200+ reviews! That's so... incredible! When I was writing You have my heart I thought that was my peak but you guys made me believe that I can still grow if I have faith! I love you guys! You all are the best!
The reviews on the last chapter were hilarious! Like really! I loved reading them and don't you guys worry, something big is happening soooooon!
A little update! My brother is totally fine now! His hand healed and he can now do things on his own without anyone's help! I was so terrified when I heard he got into an accident and all I could think about was how I should have been there for him more! Life is short guys! Lets make the most of it! If you care about someone, TELL THEM before its too late!
And stay safe! Stay indoors! Use sanitizer! Wash your hands regularly! I hope this pandemic situation gets resolved soon. Its getting horrible with each passing day. I wish we all make it out alive! I love you guys!
~ darkestlightofhope
