Chapter Twenty Nine

Kyoya

I needed a distraction.

Convincing the Ootori private police force to change the locks on Kanami's house without Amelia Claire's direct permission had proven to be difficult. They finally agreed once I had explained that my own security would be at risk unless further measures were taken. Of course, that naturally meant that several members of the police force were now aware that I would be spending time with her.

People talk, and money can only silence so much.

It wasn't as if I minded anyone knowing about Kanami and I. Anyone who knew our families could easily see why we would be drawn to each other. It was the uncertainty of where I stood with her that disturbed me the most. I was used to women throwing themselves at me in hopes of becoming part of the Ootori family. While I wasn't particularly interested in the software field, I was interested in Kanami. Whether she returned that interest was something yet to be discerned.

Of course she loves me, Tamaki would say if he could hear my thoughts. She just needs time to see it.

This exact sentiment was probably why he'd insisted on spending the evening with me on the night Kanami was set to spend with the Hitachiin brothers. Unfortunately for me, this also meant that my typical outlet was completely out of the question.

Tamaki and I had known each other long enough to not need to fill every moment with aimless chatter. Yet that didn't stop him from constantly muttering under his breath while he was working on homework. We were sitting together on the couch in my personal study, our books piled on the coffee table in front of us.

"You know, Tamaki, when I agreed to let you come over I assumed you'd learn to be quiet for once." I sighed, not looking up from the novel I had been reading.

"You're the one who forced me to get some work done." I could practically hear Tamaki roll his eyes.

"Procrastination isn't one of your healthier habits." I flipped a page, knowing my comment would fall on deaf ears. Tamaki was brilliant enough to not need to devote much time to school, even though he had the tendency to forget about assignments until the day they were due. I had lost count of how many times I'd received three am emails from him asking for me to review a paper that was due six hours later.

"Just like bottling up isn't one of yours." He quipped. I listened to him type for a few moments before he spoke again. "Are you going to tell me why you wanted me to come over?"

"I didn't want you to come over, you invited yourself." I grumbled.

"And I'm sure you would've protested more if Kana wasn't being entertained by Hikaru and Kaoru tonight." He shifted so that his back was against my arm and his legs were dangling over the armrest. "You practically begged me to come over."

"I don't beg." Still, I couldn't say that I completely detested his company. I glanced at his laptop screen, where he was working on a paper of some sort. "Is your spell check even on?"

"You're my spell check, Mommy." He tilted his head up. "Are you really okay with her being over there?"

The look in his eyes made my heart skip a beat. "We've talked about this."

"Would it help if you knew that I didn't ravish her when she and I stayed together?"

"Would it help if you knew that I spent that night with one of my clients?" I closed my book.

"The entire night?"

"No. I left once she had passed out."

"Just when I thought Kana had given you a soft side." Tamaki sounded almost sad.

"Even if she had, that was a client. Not anyone I truly care about." I closed my eyes. Tamaki and I had been down this road before.

Tamaki's response took me by surprise. "That must mean you care about me, then."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Because you always stayed with me whenever I asked." Tamaki placed his laptop on the coffee table.

"I could easily prove you wrong, you know." And I could. I knew how to break down every person close to me. It would be simple enough to destroy his confidence. A few remarks about his illegitimacy and convincing him that we were only friends out of obligation to the Host Club would leave him spiraling. That's why I refused to allow myself to be truly transparent around anyone. No one could learn my breaking point.

"I'd like to pretend you'd never do that." Tamaki turned so that he was sitting on his knees facing me. He was almost irritatingly close. "You'll never get rid of me."

"Your stubbornness is unparalleled." I leaned against the arm rest. I couldn't deny that he was right. No matter what I did early on in our relationship to get rid of him had worked. Tamaki was like that-once he had made up his mind that a person would be in his life they were there to stay.

"Funny, you're the most stubborn person I know." Tamaki was slipping into his characteristic charm. He looked at me through hooded eyes as he traced my jawline with one finger. "Do you ever think about when we were together?"

"We were never 'together', Tamaki." I stared at the floor, not quite willing to meet his eyes. "And if memory serves me correctly, you were the one who broke it off to pursue Haruhi."

"You were my first love too, you know." He gave me a small tight-lipped smile. "I don't know if I ever told you that."

"Is there a reason for telling me now?"

"I think I know why you're so stressed out about Kana-chan."

I stood up, my knees nearly colliding with the coffee table. "Nothing that happened between us has anything to do with Kanami and I."

"Kyoya, you're acting the same way with her that you did with me when things stopped being just about sex." Tamaki's voice rose. "And just because your jealousy-"

"Shut up." I spat. I couldn't look at him, even though there was plenty of truth to his words. Tamaki was only other person that I'd felt anything for, before Kanami. I could feign passion and interest well enough, and as much as I had denied feeling anything toward Tamaki he had pushed through my guise.

He and I would've never had a future together, even if my jealousy hadn't pushed him away. Tamaki had always been in love with Haruhi, and our families would've disowned both of us. While Tamaki had never been interested in impressing his father, I had always been more than willing to push my own personal desires away to keep my father happy.

Still, he remained by my side through everything, no matter how hard I'd try to push him away.

"Just because you and I didn't work out doesn't mean you should give up on another relationship." Tamaki stood and faced me, forcing me to meet his gaze. We stared at each other for a long moment before I grabbed his upper arms and kissed him roughly.

It had been two years since I'd kissed Tamaki like this. While any romantic feelings I previously held for him had certainly long since diminished there was still something at the surface between us that I couldn't quite place my finger on.

"You should go." My voice was hoarse. I dropped my hands. Damn him for making me feel anything.

His fingers traced his lips lightly. "Afraid of what would happen, Kyoya?"

"Not particularly." I shrugged.

"I might be." Tamaki brushed his bangs out of his face. "I'll see you before we open tomorrow."

I spent the rest of the night reading once Tamaki had left, trying not to dwell on what had gone on between us. Time slipped by until I heard the sounds of the housekeepers leaving for the night. I grabbed my phone to check the time only to see that I had two missed calls. My heart dropped when I read the caller ID.

Kanami Inao