Warning: Graphic depiction of violence


There was nothing more than a large blank canvas, white as snow, in this place of nothingness. Red drops suddenly splashed on the pure white. They spread on the canvas until they formed a misshapen oval. Then, three black spots that seemed to be paint appeared on the canvas, turning it into a wet and messy mosaic. The black stains started to move to take a shape, three moon-like figures, resembling two eyes and a smiling mouth, above the red spot.

A mask made of blood with eyes darker than black.

Then, the black paint for the eyes started to drip, making it look like tears of tar. The smile started to drip too, slowly turning into a frown. Then the mask melted completely and there was nothing more than a red and black mess on a now dirty previously blank canvas.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…

What was that noise? Could it be her alarm clock? Was she going to be late for school?

No, wait… she graduated years ago. She was an adult now. Then… was she going to be late for work?

But what was her job again? A computer technician? No, she was doing something else, but she couldn't quite remember it…

No, this beeping wasn't the one of an alarm clock. It was too soft and slow. It sounded like… a watch? No, not quite that. This beeping was really not trying to wake her up or warn her about the time. The frequency, it reminded her of… a heart beat?

Shiena finally opened her eyes. Not that it changed anything- her vision was so blurry that she couldn't distinguish anything in the room, except maybe the white ceiling. Not only was it terribly blurry, it felt like the room was spinning and her body was awfully numb. She didn't have the strength nor even the will to move, all she wanted to do was to go back to sleep.

"Kenmochi, are you awake?"

Ah, shit. She wasn't alone. Shiena was just tempted to ignore the voice and closed her eyes.

"Can you hear me? Kenmochi?"

The voice was insisting. Listening to it slowly brought her back to reality. She was lying on a soft surface, but she knew it wasn't her bed. Then… where was she? And who the hell was calling her?

She realized that there was something that was keeping her from moving. Her wrists and ankles were bound- she was tied up. She knew that she should freak out, but she didn't. She just felt so calm, so relaxed, so… at peace.

"Where… where am I?" Shiena asked weakly, her mouth nearly totally numb.

"The hospital room. You suffered from a serious head trauma and a slight skull fracture. Do you remember how you ended up injured, Kenmochi?"

This voice sounded deep and even assertive, but it was definitely a woman's voice. A hospital she said? Skull fracture? She got injured? But how? Shiena tried to search her memories, trying to remember the previous event.

Yes, she remembered now. She was… in an asylum. Framed for Jackie's murders. Her mother went to visit her, then there was that voice, and then…

"There was… something… in my head. I needed to get it out…" Shiena mumbled.

"Yes, you have something in your head. A squishy, fragile, bloody and oh-so important thing. Your brain. You are lucky that your skull didn't break too deep, but we don't know yet the extent of the damage on your brain. You'll have to stay in bed for a while so we can monitor your state and be sure there won't be any negative side effects."

The voice sounded so far away. Shiena slowly turned her head and could see what was keeping her prisoner: leather straps holding her wrists and ankles at each corner of the bed. She didn't bother to struggle. She didn't have the strength nor the motivation to do so anyway. She just wanted to go back to sleep.

As she turned her head to the other side, she saw the person with her. She seemed maybe taller than her, wearing what looked like a doctor's outfit, black hair, and there was something on her face- glasses perhaps?

"How are you feeling, Kenmochi?" the doctor asked.

"I… feel good, I think?"

"Do you feel any pain?"

"No… I don't think so. I just feel like… I'm floating on a cloud. I'm so relaxed, so calm, it feels… great."

And as she said that, Shiena let out a soft giggle. She was feeling quite good to be frank. She wouldn't mind if things remained this way forever.

"I see that the morphine and painkillers worked perfectly. The nurse will check on you regularly. If you start feeling unwell, there's a button next to your right hand. Press it and the nurse will come right away."

"Okay… thanks…"

The doctor left the room. Finally, she was alone. She could go back to sleep, where nothing bad ever happened, where she wouldn't have to deal with this painful reality anymore.

She kind of wished she would never wake up.


"You must be kidding me, right? What the hell is that?!"

Sitting comfortably in her armchair, Otoya was scrolling down her phone, taking the time to finish was she was reading before raising her head, a smile on her lips.

"Oh, hi, Hashi- Kuzuno- You! As I can see, you still haven't learned to knock before entering…"

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"Hm, I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by that," Otoya said with an innocent look on her face.

"This!" Nio exclaimed as she pointed to Otoya's arm.

Otoya looked at her arm, which was encased in a cast, and acted as if she was surprised.

"Oh, that… it's nothing. I just fell down the stairs," Otoya replied.

"And your broken nose?"

"The stairs too."

Otoya kept a straight face. Lying had never been stressful for her- she was a natural born liar. Not that Nio seemed to believe her. It didn't matter to Otoya- she couldn't care less what that midget thought.

"How are you supposed to kill if you're basically a cripple now?" Nio complained.

"Hey, that's offensive!"

"Right, as if you care. 'Disabled' then."

"Well, I guess I'll have to take some vacation time, then. Doesn't Black Guild offer some health insurance? Injury benefits?"

"We don't."

"What!?" Otoya exclaimed with her best offended voice. "What kind of work conditions are those? We're not in the 19th century anymore- my ancestors fought to protect workers' interest!"

Nio looked extremely annoyed by Otoya's comedy attempt, before an unsettling grin appeared on her face.

"Well, feel free to make your own union. What would it be called? The Union for Professional Assassins?"

Otoya smirked. Not bad. When she wanted, Nio could be quite good at banter, but she'd be the one to have the last word.

"Well, sorry then- I guess I won't be able to get back to work for a while. Unless you want to take the risk of sending me on a mission with a broken arm."

"Of course not. Not that we care about your safety, but it would be a pain in the ass if you failed and got caught. Fine then, you can take a break, but you won't be paid."

"Fine with me. That's all I'm asking for," Otoya agreed.

"Great. I'll let you to your… whatever the hell you get up to. Come back by my bar when you're doing better."

As Nio looked like she was about to walk away, she suddenly turned back towards Otoya.

"Before I leave, I have a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"Did Kenmochi Shiena learn the truth about you?" Nio asked coldly.

Otoya wasn't expecting that sort of question. She wasn't expecting to hear Shiena's name again either. How much did Nio or her organization know about this? She remembered what Nio made her promise. To kill Shiena if she discovered her true identity or the existence of Black Guild. Which she hadn't done. And she wouldn't let Nio learn the truth about that. She didn't particularly want to die.

"Nah, I don't think so. Why?" Otoya asked, perfectly calm.

"I know she was at your house the night she got arrested. She left your house after midnight. Do you why? Isn't it strange to leave so late in the middle of the night?" Nio asked, suspicious.

"We kind of… argued. It's a little bit embarrassing, but… I may have… kissed her. Which she didn't like. She got rightfully upset and left my house," Otoya explained.

Nio remained silent but it was obvious she was having doubts about Otoya's story. Not that she cared, it wasn't like Nio could prove shit. And there was something else she was also doubtful about.

"Shiena got arrested for my murder, the one you asked me to do this very day. So I'm just wondering… how did Shiena end up at the crime scene?" Otoya questioned.

"I have no idea. Maybe she saw you at that house? And after you argued, she went to take a look there. Well, regardless, she was a nuisance. So good riddance, am I right?"

Otoya clenched her fist. She wasn't sure if Nio was lying or not and if she had some kind of involvement in this. She knew Nio was just like her- a liar. But she was almost as good as her at lying. Still, she remained annoyed by how she referred to Shiena, even if she knew she was technically telling the truth.

"Yeah, good riddance," Otoya replied with a forced smile.

"Well then, now I'll really take my leave. Rest well, Takechi-san, and don't get yourself into more trouble."

"I won't. Bye."

And thus, Nio left her house. Otoya remained sitting for a moment, trying to continue passing time on her cell phone, but she was invaded by an ungodly rage. She always had been good at controlling herself, but right now, she just wanted to explode.

She took a deep breath to calm down, and then suddenly rose up. She grabbed the first thing in sight- a vase, and threw it violently at the nearest wall. The vase smashed in little pieces that fell to the floor. Despite this aggressive act, Otoya's face was stoic, but her body was awfully stiff. She then went back to sit down and took another deep breath and sighed. She picked up her phone and scrolled down again through Facebook, before an idea popped up in her mind.

She went on Shiena's profile and checked her latest post before getting arrested. A couple of news articles, and then… the poem she wrote to her. Reading it again felt so nostalgic.

No matter how she tried to forget her, Otoya did really miss Shiena.


Lost deep in her thoughts, Shiena gave no attention to her surroundings. In her mind, she was still in this white room, with the walls covered in red. She didn't know how long she had been there, but enough so that she would consider it her home. Did she even ever have a home before this one? She wasn't quite sure. What was a home to begin with? A house? An apartment? Anything with a roof where you could sleep under? No, it wasn't quite that.

A home was somewhere you could be happy and enjoy yourself- where you are loved and respected.

Shiena never had a home. She had a house, an apartment, but never a home. The closest to a home she ever had… was when she was living in Otoya's house.

And we all know how that turned out.

So this white room may be the only home she'll ever have.

"Kenmochi-san?"

This soft voice calling for her brought her back to reality. She wasn't in the white room anymore. And she wasn't alone either.

Suzu was facing her, sitting on her chair, her notebook opened. Shiena didn't quite recall how she ended up here, but she guessed that it must be her weekly session.

"Yeah?" Shiena replied, lifeless.

"It's been more than a week since you were released from the hospital. How are you feeling?"

A week already? How long did she stay in the hospital? How long had she been locked up in this asylum? Time flew so fast and the passage of it had been completely lost on her. It felt like she had been there forever, yet also like everything that led to this happened only yesterday.

"I feel… great. In fact, I've never felt so good in my entire life," Shiena replied with an empty smile.

"Okay… well, can you tell me what happened? How you ended up… with that injury on your head?"

At those words, Shiena instinctively touched her forehead. Her head was wrapped in multiple bandages. It didn't hurt anymore, but she felt some pain in her heart, remembering what happened before.

"My… my mother… she came… to visit me," Shiena said weakly.

Suzu seemed surprised by that and immediately looked at her notes, confusion growing even more in her golden eyes.

"Huh… are you sure your mother visited you?"

"Y-Yeah… why?"

"Because… nowhere in my notes does it mention that your mother was scheduled to visit you."

This revelation froze Shiena. She could even feel a chill down her spine. Her mother… never came to visit her? No, that was impossible! She saw her, she wasn't crazy…

Right?

"... She was there. I'm not crazy. She was really there," Shiena said with frost in her voice.

Suzu looked like she had to bite her tongue to not say something.

"Okay. Then, what happened… with your mother?"

"She… she told me… how much of a disappointment I was for her. How much she was ashamed of me. She even wished… I was never born. She never loved me- she always resented me and loathed me. To her, I ruined her life. And maybe… she's right."

"Kenmochi-san, you can't blame yourself for your mother's decision. Even if you were an accident, she was the one who didn't use protection and decided to carry her pregnancy to term. She decided to have you, and so it was her duty as your mother to take care of you, or give you up for adoption if she couldn't, and she did none of those things. Your mother was a neglectful and irresponsible person. You have nothing to blame yourself for- you never asked to be born. The sole one responsible for this is your mother."

Shiena never knew how much she was craving to hear those words. It wasn't her fault- it was all because of her mother. Her only "crime" was being born, which was totally out of her control. She had nothing to blame herself for.

"T-Thanks…" Shiena said sincerely.

"There's no need to thank me, I'm simply speaking the truth. So, what happened… after that?"

"Um… I think my mother left… yeah, she left. And… I was hearing voices, I think? Someone was talking to me but… from inside my head. And then… uh… I don't remember what happened."

"I see," Suzu replied as she took a few notes. "Well then, would you like to continue where we left last time? You talked about your teen years, how about your adulthood?"

"Adulthood… hm… it was definitely better than my teenage years- or even my childhood. I was living on my own, away from my parents. I got a pretty decent job where I could work from home, enough money to bring food on the table and pay the bills. I can't really complain. But then…"

Shiena's body became tense. Her thoughts were all hustling in her mind.

"I… fell in love with someone. Or… more like… an obsession. I was so fascinated by her, so captivated, but… it was unhealthy. This person was unhealthy, and toxic. She fooled me, she deceived me, she tricked me, she manipulated me… and then she betrayed me."

Shiena felt like her throat was tensing up.

"I… I really thought… she loved me. Nobody showed me as much affection as she did. She always comforted me when I felt down and she took care of me. She made me feel loved and valuable, like I was finally worthy of someone. But in the end, she just… toyed with me, like I was nothing more… than a plaything. She never cared about me, she never loved me… and like an idiot, I let her fool me…"

Shiena's lips were starting to shake.

"But… can you really blame me? No one ever loved me before, and there she was, so beautiful and radiant, showering me in affection and compliments. I'm just a pathetic, boring and bland girl. How was I supposed to resist? I wanted her so much, I loved her so much, and despite everything she did to me… I still love her."

Tears were now falling from her eyes.

"Is it too much to ask to be loved!? Why is there no one who truly loves me!? Am I so terrible? Am I disgusting? Loathsome? Or just plainly unlovable? Maybe I should just accept it. I was never loved… and never will…"

Shiena couldn't hold it back anymore. She started to sob. All the sadness she was feeling regarding Otoya had been kept deep inside of her and it was finally coming out. Suzu rose up and pulled out a tissue to gently wipe away Shiena's tears.

"It's okay, Kenmochi-san. It's okay to cry. You need to get it out of your chest. It's not good to keep it all inside."

Shiena continued to sob a little and could hear genuine sympathy in Suzu's voice, but also what seemed to be… guilt?

"I think we'll stop here. You deserve some rest. Please, don't beat yourself up about this. Nothing was your fault."

Shiena wished she could believe Suzu. It felt good to hear those words, but deep down, she knew it wasn't the truth.

Everything that happened was because of her- and she deserved it.


No matter how many times she rolled in her bed, Shiena couldn't fall asleep. Each time she closed her eyes, Jack appeared in her mind. Crimson stains were covering the darkness and this awful smiling mask kept flashing in her head. Horribly mutilated corpses joined this gloomy party with their guts hanging out from their bellies. Those nightmarish images kept assailing her whenever she closed her eyes. Shiena got tired of it and laid on her back, staring at the white ceiling to keep her sanity.

The light started to flicker. For a split second, Shiena was plunged into total darkness. She freaked out and got out of her bed, her heart racing like crazy. The light continued to turn on and off while she was hearing some kind of buzzing. The noise became louder and louder, now resembling some kind of ultrasound. It was unbearable to hear. Shiena put her hands on her ears, hoping that it would bury the sound, but it was in vain.

Something red and sticky started to leak from the wall. This crimson liquid dribbled until it reached the floor and more of it was coming from the walls like an open wound- like the walls were bleeding.

Panicked, Shiena was tempted to scream for help, but she knew it would be in vain. Last time she did, the guards attacked her. So she simply rushed to one of the corners of her cell and crouched on the floor, hiding her face in her arms, shivering and sobbing, hoping it would be over soon.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real, it's not real…" Shiena kept mumbling to herself like a mantra.

"Oh, don't fool yourself, you know damn well that it's real."

Shiena ignored this voice and continued to repeat her mantra until the nightmare was over.

Then suddenly, everything fell silent. Shiena waited for a moment before she fearfully raised her head, to discover with relief that it was over. The light was back to normal and the walls were whiter than ever. She let out a sigh.

"I'm still here."

Shiena jolted and looked around. There was no one except her.

"Right in front of you."

She saw them. Standing in the middle of the room, dressed in a black hooded robe and wearing the usual drama mask, there was Jack. Shiena remained shocked. How could she be here? Slowly, she rose up while Jack grabbed her mask, and unceremoniously removed it.

Shiena froze on the spot. It wasn't Otoya who was standing in front of her. She must be dreaming- it couldn't be possible.

"Surprised to see me?"

Another Shiena was facing her. Well, she did look like her, but her aura was completely different. She was full of confidence, her gaze was empty and her smile so dark. Even her voice sounded so different. So cold and devoid of any humanity. It was so creepy to see herself like that.

"Who… who are you?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm you."

"No… you're not me… you're just like Jackie… you're a psycho!"

"That I won't deny. But you seem to forget one thing. You're just like Jackie, too. Deep down, you are, you know it."

Shiena didn't want to hear those words. She tried to cover her ears, but it was pointless. It was like a voice was coming from her own mind.

"You can't escape the truth anymore. I'm your past, your present, and your future."

"What… what the fuck does that even mean!?"

"I'm what you nearly became, what you could be, and what you'll turn into."

"You're wrong! I'm not like Jackie, I'm not a killer! I would never hurt anyone-"

"Oh, but you already did. You killed three people, remember?"

Shiena went silent. Was she referencing how she got framed for Jack's murders? But wasn't it only two?

"I… didn't kill anyone."

"You did. Those two people you were accused of killing, you did kill them. And Yamada Yuu too."

"It was Jackie!"

"And yet, they wouldn't have died if it wasn't for you. Jackie killed Yamada to send you a message. She killed that other woman so she could send you her heart. And she killed the last one to frame you. Your obsession for Jackie killed them. You have their blood on your hands."

When she said those words, Shiena felt something wet and sticky on her hands. She looked down and gasped when she saw it tainted in crimson. Her evil self startled to giggle.

"Get used to it. You'll get more and more blood on you."

Shiena felt anger arise in her. She clenched her bloody fists and glanced at her double.

"Oh, you seem so mad, how scary. What are you gonna do- kill me?"

Shiena let out a cry of rage and rushed towards her doppelganger, raising her fist. But when she was about to hit her, she simply vanished into thin air.

A gloomy laughter came from behind her. Shiena quickly turned back and was faced once again with her evil double.

Shiena let out a grunt and jumped on her, trying to punch her again, in vain. She had disappeared again.

"Where are you bitch!? Fucking show yourself!"

But all she got as a response is the same dark and condescending laughter. It felt like it was coming all over her. Shiena kept turning around, trying to find where it was coming from.

"You won't find me because I'm in you!"

"Shut up! Get out! Get out, GET OUT!"

"Kenmochi-san!? What's going on?"

Shiena froze. She slowly turned back, to discover the nurse staring at her with confusion in her eyes.

"You… you did this to me, don't you!? You're making me think I'm actually crazy!" Shiena shouted furiously as she walked towards the bars. The nurse immediately recoiled, fearful.

"P-Please, Kenmochi-san, you need to calm down-"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

"Security!"

In only a few seconds, two guards arrived and entered the cell. Shiena tried to get out as soon as they opened the door, but they immediately caught her.

"Don't touch me! Let me go you bastards! You're part of the conspiracy too, huh?! You're trying to silence me!"

Shiena tried to struggle but it was pointless. The two guards brusquely slammed her against the wall.

"Hold her still," the nurse ordered.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO!"

Despite the turmoil, Shiena noticed that the nurse was holding a syringe that she was dangerously approaching to her arm.

"No! Don't do that! Get away from me! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

The needle pierced her skin. Shiena screamed the loudest she could until she had no longer enough strength to. Her body slowly became limp and everything was blurry. The voices were now inaudible and her eyelids seemed so heavy. She tried to fight back against it, but she couldn't help it.

She closed her eyes and was sent back to total darkness.


Things aren't getting better for Shiena, and it seemed the same for Otoya. Will they ever get reunited? And if so, how Shiena will get out of there?

It seemed that a lot of people got confused about weather or not Shiena's mother was an hallucination. I left a clue in this chapter. Re-read the scene between Shiena and her mother and Shiena and her evil self. If you find the clue to see if she was an hallucination, let me know, and if you're right, I'll give you a cookie.

Stay tuned and seeya next week where the real shit is about to start.

ps: In the latest Koakuma no Riddle, Minakata seemed to have confirmed my biggest headcanon regarding Otoya which I've been using in all my OtoShie fic. If you're interested, go check my tumblr, RickyRiddle.