J.J. was relieved that Will had the boys for the week. She left work not long after Spencer left and spent the day wallowing in self-pity. The sun had already set, and her stomach growled hungrily. She considered getting up to eat but couldn't find the energy to roll out of bed.

That's when she heard knocking at the door. She sighed. She really did not need a visitor right now. She knew her friends meant well, but the idea of entertaining anyone's pep talk was not something she wanted to deal with.

After another round of gentle knocks, she groaned and rolled out of bed. She slipped her white robe over her white boy shorts and baby blue tank top. She shuffled slowly to the door, hoping by the time she reached it, whoever was on the other side, would have left.

She unlatched the door and unlocked the knob and swung the door open. She was startled to see Spencer standing in front of her. He wore the same suit and tie that he'd worn to work, but it wasn't as crisp as it had been before. She smelled the alcohol on his breath when he lightly asked if he could come in.

J.J. couldn't find her voice, so she stepped aside and used her arm to gesture him in. He ducked his head and stepped into the dark room, lit only by the small lamp on the end table by her couch. After locking the door, she walked toward the living room, where she flipped on the floor lamp. The room lit up with a comforting orange glow.

J.J. sat down on the couch and waited for Spencer to do the same. She felt the sting of pain when he sat at the opposite end of the couch. Far enough away from her that she knew why he had come. She watched as he rubbed his hands together nervously and avoided looking at her.

She felt the tears building as she waited for him to talk. Her knees were curled into her chest and her chin rested on her knees. Arms wrapped around her legs. She didn't want to start the conversation that was going to end them. She would sit and wait in silence the rest of her life if it postponed what he was about to do.

She watched him lift his head and glance at her. He looked wrecked. His hair a mess, his eyes blood shot. She imagined some of that was due to the alcohol, but not all of it. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted at work today. It was unprofessional," he began.

"It's understandable. I'm sorry you found out that way," she said, her heart racing.

"Which leads me to why I'm here," he said. His tone changing to one of disappointment.

J.J. shrugged as she tried to hold back her emotions.

"I thought I was protecting you –"

"That doesn't make sense, Jen. How is keeping memories … keeping my life from me protecting me?" he said in frustration.

"When it all happened, you were really upset about it. I guess I was afraid of stirring up those feelings again. We were at a good place and I was scared of losing it again," she said sadly.

"Don't you see how unfair that is? You took my memories and you made choices for me. You decided my future. Jen that isn't protecting me, that's protecting yourself!" he said.

Despite her efforts, a few tears trickled down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't … I thought …" she couldn't organize her thoughts.

"You had me living a lie. You had the team and your boys living a lie."

J.J. hiccupped a sob as she buried her face in her knees. She was too humiliated and heartbroken to hear the rest. How can someone her age, still be so stupid about her decisions. She heard the couch cushions rustle and a weight next to her.

This is where he hugs me goodbye.

"You never gave me the chance to be happy about it," he said softly.

She felt his hand on her back. She looked up at him through her hair as tears streamed from her eyes. Spencer reached out and tucked the hair behind her ear. His thumb brushing away the tears as he cupped the side of her face.

"Imagine finding out that something you dreamed of for 15 years was finally a reality," he said holding eye contact with her. "I just wish I could remember it. To remember our first kiss. To remember what it felt like making love to you."

J.J. closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. A small wet laugh escaped her as she shook her head.

"It was wonderful," she said crying.

"I can only imagine," he said with a gentle smile.

"It doesn't have to be that way," she said sniffling. She sat up and turned toward him, her legs curling beneath her. "We can do it again. I can show you how amazing it was."

Spencer slumped a little and sighed. J.J. felt her heart breaking.

"Please, I know I screwed up. I made a selfish choice, but I need you Spence. Ever since we got together my world finally made sense. You were everything I was always missing, and we were so happy together. We planned on buying a home together," she pleaded as the tears returned in full force.

Spencer glanced at her and looked down at his lap.

"Please. I love you so much," she said causing him to double take.

She forgot that he hadn't known they said that to one another. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly in hers.

"I love you Spencer Reid," she said again. "Please."

He jumped up suddenly and started pacing, leaving J.J. stunned in her spot. Her eyes were wide, and her jaw dropped as she watched him move like a caged animal.

"I don't know, Jen. I'm so mad at you," he said as he ran fingers through his hair. "God, I'm so mad and yet, I'm so happy. I'm with the woman of my dreams and we're having a baby and I want to be thrilled about it, but I'm so mad that you kept it from me. How do I just let that go?"

He looked to her with distress. She scrambled to her feet and hurried toward him.

"I don't know. I don't know how you just let it go. But whatever you need, I'll do it. I'll fix this. Please, let me fix this. Please, don't shut me out. I know I don't deserve that, but I'm begging you to let me make this better. The baby and I need you," she said.

"There's no question I will be there for the baby," he said, breaking her heart.

She, unintentionally, whimpered as she tried to steady her breathing. Her hands shook as she tried to gather her thoughts. She looked up to see him watching her with so much confliction in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If I could do it over, I would do it differently, but I can't, Spence. All I can say is, this is something incredible, what we have, and it's a once in a lifetime kind of love. Please, if any single ounce of you loves me," she stopped and took in a ragged breath. "Then please, give me a chance. Don't end us."

Spencer stared at her, his eyes moving rapidly back and forth, his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what to do. J.J. shakily held out her hand to him. His eyes looked down and stared at it. She could see his hand twitching with indecision.

"Please," she whispered one more time.

Finally, he reached out his hand and grabbed hers, pulling her to him. His hands framed her face as he pressed his lips roughly to hers. J.J.'s hands clutched his arms as their kiss intensified. She opened her mouth, inviting him in and was rewarded with a soft moan from him. After a few minutes of passionately making out in the middle of the living room, Spencer pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers. His fingers tangled in her hair.

"That was amazing," he whispered.

"And that was just the kissing," J.J. said with a small smile.

Her stomach let out a loud rumble. Spencer chuckled as he leaned back and looked down at her belly.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Starving," she sighed.

"How about I order us some dinner and you can tell me all about what happened between us. I'd like to know if I was super suave winning you over or if I was super dorky," he said with a grin.

"Oh, definitely super dorky," she teased.

Spencer laughed as he pulled out his phone and they walked over to the couch together.

(xxxxx)

A/N: have I mentioned how much I love you guys! Your comments are so awesome and some even made me laugh! I'd like to thank Tracy Evans, BookDragon2013 (you cracked me up), MayisGJ, OneTrueAkatsuki, Saku Hyuuga, Ember Reverie, Smallville83, ccce410, Ov123, Lexcm, , Titi25, madcloisfan, Spgan and cherubimbean. You guys are the best! xoxo