Chapter 21: Surviving on Determination Alone (that title is too long for the chapter list tab)


"A fitting end for a people who would not share their technology," Culluh had smirked. "Let's see if you manage to survive without it."

The planet was desert-like, the sun glaring off red-tinted sand and mountains. Small scrubs dotted the landscape. There was not an animal in sight as the crew trudged onwards through the thick, warm air.

Kathryn knew she had to keep up a semblance of control and hope to keep her crew going, but she was having to dig deep within herself to find the motivation to keep herself going.

Culluh wants us all to die, she thought. Her fists balled up at her sides. I won't give him the satisfaction.

They found a cave to shelter in for the night and Janeway sent teams out to search for food and water, but by the time night was falling, they returned with grave news.

"That's all that's left of Hogan's uniform, Captain," Chakotay said. "We didn't find anything else."

"This is my fault," Neelix bemoaned. "If I hadn't told Hogan to pick up these bones…"

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Neelix," Kes said comfortingly.

"Stop it, Janeway snapped. "There's no time to worry about blame. Hogan was a fine officer and a good man. And our job is to make sure his death is the last one for a long time! I will not let this planet destroy my crew. Kes, see to it that everyone knows the tunnels are off-limits. I want clear safety protocols established. Mister Tuvok, we need weapons."

"I have already begun to design some rudimentary devices, Captain," he said.

"What's our food and water status?"

"I know it sounds grisly," Chakotay told her, "but I can make solar stills with the material from this uniform. We could have water tomorrow."

"Do it."

"Captain, none of the search teams were able to find plants of any nutritional value," Neelix said, twisting his hands worriedly.

"Then tell the crew to start turning over rocks." She tossed over some nearby rocks and grabbed a fistful of writhing worms. She held them out to her crew, her features firm with determination. "If anyone balks at eating these, tell them it's an order from their captain. They may be the difference between life and death." Dumping the worms in the hands of a crewmember, she stormed away.

It didn't take long for Chakotay to follow her. She was sitting on a large rock outside their campsite, hunched over and staring at the setting sun.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

She sighed. "I've been better," she said honestly.

"I know we've been through a lot today, but we'll get through it. We always do."

"We've never been in a situation this dire though."

"True, but we happen to have the best captain the Alpha Quadrant has ever produced, and I know she'll lead us through whatever this planet throws at us."

"I really don't want to be cheered up right now, Chakotay," she protested. "I'm still trying to process and mourn."

Chakotay rubbed a hand over her back comfortingly. "Okay."

She leaned into his touch briefly, then clapped a hand on his leg. "We'd better get back and help make camp."

Several hours and locks of hair later, the fires were burning strongly as Janeway paced the camp. Neelix and Kes had wandered off and not returned and several crewmembers were now looking for them. She silently cursed this strange and hostile planet. She cursed Culluh and Seska and all of the Kazon. She cursed the dumb, cruel twist of fate that had stranded them here. And most of all, she cursed herself. If she had only been wiser and seen the trap. If she had only been smarter and told her crewmembers to be more cautious. If she had only kept a closer eye on everyone, they might all still be there, safe and sound.

Her ruminations were interrupted by Chakotay's return.

"There are signs of a struggle near the edge of camp. I found alien tracks."

"We can't wait until morning to go after them," Janeway said.

"Well, I'm better at tracking than starting fires," Chakotay told her.

"I've completed a few weapons that might be appropriate, Commander," Tuvok said, holding up a rudimentary bow.

"This is thoughtful of you Tuvok, but my tribe never used bows and arrows, and I've never even shot one."

"This is mine. I taught archery science for several years at the Vulcan Institute of Defensive Arts," Tuvok said.

"Take as many crew members as you need." Janeway watched them go, weapons at the ready as they disappeared into the darkness. Her one job had been to keep her crew safe, but she didn't think she had ever failed so spectacularly at anything in her life. If only she had been able to prevent this all from happening.

The fires slowly burned down, and her feet began to wear a groove in the dust as she paced, awaiting her crewmembers' return. Other people settled down to sleep, so she took her pacing outside. Eventually, the dawn arrived. She began to help with making breakfast, keeping one eye on the entrance to the caves at all times.

Finally, she had enough.

"Chakotay's team should have been back by now," she told Kim and Torres. "We'd better look for them before it gets too hot. Get a few people together. I'll join you in a second."

She had lost three other people to this damned planet, but she was damned if she would lose Chakotay.