I made a note of what paperwork was on Elrond's desk to show to Erestor later on, and then headed out to see if I could scavenge myself some leftovers for dinner.

On my way there, I was almost wiped out by an incredibly speedy Glorfindel, who knocked into me like an oncoming car. I stumbled a little but Glorfindel grabbed me by the shoulders and steadied me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Rhodri," he began, "but thank goodness I've found you!"

"Is something the matter?" I asked him.

"Well, Elrond just sprinted past me to the stables, and when I asked him where he was going, he told me to speak to you."

"Ah, yes," I said with a nod. "Come with me to get some food, and then let's find somewhere quiet to talk, yes?"

This seemed acceptable to Glorfindel, who nodded, and together we scuttled to the dining rooms before the serving platters could be cleared away. After piling a plate with bread and vegetables, we made our way up to the observation deck, which seldom had any visitors these days, and I filled him in on the afternoon's events, withholding only the things I thought might embarrass Elrond.

"So… so he's riding out now to tell Celebrían how he feels?" Glorfindel asked, eyes wide with excitement.

I smiled and nodded.

"Praise the Valar, at long last, he is finally being sensible!" Glorfindel rejoiced with a laugh, throwing a victorious fist in the air and drumming his feet on the floor.

"Took him long enough," I said, shaking my head through a mouthful of bread. "I thought the world was going to end up flat again before he did anything about it."

Glorfindel raised his eyebrows momentarily in agreement.

"Still, he only has to do it once, and in a day or two it will be out of the way," he pointed out, grabbing a cherry tomato off my plate and throwing it into the air before catching it in his mouth.

"That's true," I admitted with a laugh. "What are we going to do with that free space in our brains now instead of worrying about Elrond, I wonder?"

"Mmm," Glorfindel murmured as he sat down and leaned back on his hands, looking up into the night sky. "I suppose quite a bit will change, now."

"For the better, I think," I said with a small smile as I joined him on the floor. "The Bib-and-Brace Club will now have all members resident in Imladris, after all. Things can only go up from here."

He smiled back gently. "I am sure they will." He let out a long sigh after that. I couldn't help but draw a slightly deeper breath in sympathy. It had been almost a year and a half since we had lost Gil-Galad. Though most of the time now we coped very well, tiny, quiet moments like this were still prime opportunities for our composure to unravel as the ache crept back in.

Glorfindel brushed a tear away and said quietly, "I think he would have loved to see Elrond's wedding."

I nodded as my throat seized up a little. "He'd have been so proud… I think he would have offered to be the one to give Celebrían her jewel."

"And then he would have two people to worry about and fuss over," Glorfindel added.

"Oh god, don't say that," I said with a theatrical groan. "I already lost half a glass of wine when I heard people thought Gil-Galad and I were going to get married. And he was only coming in to wring his hands over Elrond then. Imagine him panicking over Elrond and Celebrían."

I shook my head. "Let's just save the news for when we see him in Valinor."

Glorfindel cackled at that and nodded. "Yes, for your sake, that's probably best."

We spent the rest of the evening lying on the floor in the incredibly warm night air- the first hot night of the year, in fact- making up ridiculous stories about whatever constellations we could find, and agreed that this was far superior to completing the paperwork that both of us should have been doing.

When the sun came up, I decided I could no longer put off the blotter-jotter life and made my way to my office. The air was thick and hot, filled with motes of various seeds and spores floating around, seeking some patch of fertile ground to settle on. The flowers waved in the breeze, and the leaves rustled gently in synchrony. Summer was my favourite time of the year, and I sighed contentedly as I turned the corner to the corridor where the clinic was.

I was startled to see an Elf with jet-black hair whom I recognised as one of the chefs. She and I would shoot the breeze now and again whenever I delivered harvested vegetables or stuck my nose in when a delicious, wafting smell lured me to her place of work. She stood outside the office, looking terrified and breathless.

"Singlis?" I called as I ran over to her. "My god, what is it?"

"Rhodri, thank goodness I found you," she began as she grabbed my hands. "I tried to find Lord Elrond, but he is not here, and neither is Lord Glorfindel. I—"

She stopped speaking and burst into tears as she threw her arms around me. I could feel her quivering with fright as she sobbed onto my shoulder. It seemed I had become a very in vogue person to cry on of late, I mused to myself as I pat her back and waited for her to calm down a bit.

"What happened, Singlis?" I asked gently. "Tell me."

"I—I was abducted," she whispered to me.

My eyes widened. This was a serious emergency.

"Who took you? Where are they now? How many were there?" I demanded.

"I d-don't know, maybe five of them," she stammered, still incredibly shaken up.

"Right. There's no time to lose. Let me get my sword, and I want you to take me to where you last saw them."

I ran past her into my office and grabbed a sword I had sitting on a rack on the wall, and then we dashed down the valley together to a little clearing a short way from the path. It was a beautiful area, nestled away from most of the other households of Imladris. Singlis and her family of six lived in the smallish house there that she and her husband had made by hand, and they were known for being proud of their largely self-sufficient lifestyle. Their patch of land contained their own quite sizable vegetable garden, a well, and even a chicken coop that Singlis had constructed herself. In all, it really was an impressive feat.

Singlis gestured that her would-be kidnappers were somewhere near the property, and I drew my sword, bracing myself for attack.

We crept into the yard and found nothing. Nobody was around. After quickly checking the house and finding no-one there (the remaining family members excepted), I locked the doors and ordered Singlis and her family to stay inside until I came back. After a scout around, doing everything I could to lure any potential abductors out, I went back to their house without any hostile activity to report at all.

I knocked on the door.

"Singlis," I called out. "There's nobody around. Can I come in a minute?"

Singlis' husband opened the door and let me in. Singlis was on the sofa with her four children (well, adults, really), who ranged from about 50 to 120 years of age.

"The coast is clear as far as I can see," I repeated to her. I gestured at her husband and children. "Did any of you see anything of this happening?"

They all shook their heads.

"Hmm. Singlis, can we sit somewhere and talk so you can tell me about what happened?" I asked her. She nodded, and looked at her husband.

"I will fix some breakfast for us," he said with a reassuring smile. "Come," he said, motioning for their children to follow him.

Singlis took me upstairs to a small reading room and shut the door.

"Tell me about what happened in your own time," I requested.

She took a deep breath and started to speak.

"I was lying in bed asleep, and then out of nowhere, a giant thing appeared. It was huge, like a house and a ship put together, but it could fly."

I almost did a double-take. A flying-? Surely she didn't mean…

"Then what happened?"

"Well, a door opened and came down onto the floor, and these five creatures came out—like Orcs, but smoother and with bigger heads. They pulled me out of bed and dragged me up into their house and locked the door!"

My god. She was talking about an alien abduction. I had had quite a few clients come to me over the years with this. It's amazing how many people genuinely believe they have been abducted by aliens, and the number grows every year.

Before I could stop her, she continued. "They took out measuring sticks and examined my head and hands, and then tied me to a rack so they could see how tall I was. I was screaming, absolutely terrified, and they tried to poke me with something sharp, but I just screamed louder, so they stopped. After a while, they gave up and dropped me back in my bed."

"I see," I said after a moment. I wondered if it was possible that alien abductions could happen here in Middle-Earth. On regular Earth, it was considered completely implausible by most research, so I was unsure how to proceed. I eventually decided to see if she was in touch with reality, and that if I couldn't get a straight answer out of her, I would have to ask her husband to help me get her up to my office so that he could sign a confidentiality form on her behalf.

"Tell me, Singlis, are you quite sure this wasn't a dream?"

Singlis nodded vigorously. "Oh, absolutely. I was awakened by the noise of the house ship as it entered our bedroom, and I haven't fallen back asleep since they released me an hour ago."

"Do you know where we are right now?"

Singlis looked at me with confusion. "Yes," she said slowly. "We are in my house, which is in Imladris."

"Just checking. Do you know what year it is?"

She answered correctly, with a face that suggested she thought she'd have to check me in at the hospital wing for a bout of amnesia.

"Okay," I said, tapping my fingers on my lips. "Listen, Singlis, I think I know what might have happened, but I'll need to ask some more questions. Do you think you could come up with me to my office and we can have a talk about confidentiality and—"

My introductory spiel was broken by a piercing scream followed by a loud crash coming from downstairs. We looked at each other in alarm, and raced down as fast as we could.

As we turned the corner, we were greeted with a sight that made a "Good lord!" escape my lips before I could stop it. The downstairs area had suddenly become incredibly messy. The breakfast table had been flipped over, and food was everywhere. Singlis' husband was crouched down in a corner, looking absolutely terrified as he yelled nonsensically at the top of his lungs. I looked over and saw that their children were scattered through the bottom level. One was sitting at the place where the table had been, carrying out an animated conversation with an invisible entity. Another was standing still, staring at their hands in silent incredulity. The third child was in the kitchen, throwing handful after handful of flour up in the air and letting it rain down on themselves joyfully.

"Where's the fourth…" I murmured as I looked around, before I heard a clattering from outside. I burst out the back door and saw the youngest one climbing up the side of the house, loudly singing about birds and flying. I jumped up and grabbed them by the ankle, pulling them back down the pole until they were on the ground with me.

"Hey, buddy, there's some birds inside that want to talk to you, better come in quick!" I lied through my teeth. This was apparently good enough for the child, though, who allowed me to lead them back indoors.

The place looked like a bomb had hit it now. I locked all the doors and told Singlis to keep an eye on the climber kid as I went to the husband, who was still screaming like a banshee. His hair looked like a sterling silver haystack, and his brown eyes were wide as dinner plates.

"Oldreth! Oldreth, it's Rhodri!" I shouted at him.

He looked up at me in relief, and started begging me to save him. "Please, Rhodri, do something! It's going to kill me in a moment, I just know it!"

"What is, Oldreth?"

He put out a finger shakily and pointed straight in front of him, but then screamed and snapped his hand back to him.

I could scarcely believe my ears. All of them, potentially bar one, were having a psychotic episode. I had to get them out of there, away somewhere safe where they could calm down before anyone got hurt.

"Right," I yelled in my authoritative voice. "Everyone make one straight line at the front door! We are going to go somewhere safe now!"

Oldreth was the first at the door, moving like his arse was on fire. The kids needed to be rounded up, but they were happy enough to go when steered.

I took them out of the house and had two children hold my hand, two hold Singlis' hands, and Oldreth was to walk behind Singlis and with his hands on her shoulders. I walked behind Singlis and we went up to Elrond's house.

When we got there, I ran into Glorfindel, who was walking with Erestor. They looked at me and my rabble in confusion.

"You two," I said to them quietly, "we have a bit of a situation on our hands. We need to get this lot here into a room as empty and lockable as possible. I'll explain later."

They nodded and told me they would run ahead and prepare one of the library reading rooms for us. I slowly guided the family through to the library and into the reading room Glorfindel beckoned us from, which he and Erestor had emptied of all furniture except for a few cushions.

Thankfully, Oldreth was visibly calmer although like his wife was still shaken up. Their children all seemed rather placidly out of it, perfectly content to chatter or stare or wander aimlessly around the room they were all in.

"We need to keep them in this room for today," I said quietly to Erestor and Glorfindel outside the room. "I don't know what's happened, but the six of them have started seeing things that don't exist, and were behaving quite dangerously. I want to monitor them to see if they can calm down enough that they won't hurt themselves or someone else."

Erestor and Glorfindel both looked astonished, but accepted this with a nod.

"Could you two arrange for some bland food and water to be brought up here to them, please, and possibly some blankets in case they need to sleep there for the night?"

With another nod, they both disappeared. I went back into the room. At least the atmosphere was less scream-y, but Oldreth and Singlis were worried as ever.

Singlis calmed down fairly quickly after that, but things didn't start to properly turn around for the rest until about nine hours later, when at last, the kids started talking with each other coherently, and Oldreth was relaxed.

That so many had calmed down at the same time made me think that this was drug-induced, but I had been in Middle-Earth quite a while, and so far as I knew, there were no recreational hallucinogens around. I asked them, to be sure, but they claimed not to have taken anything. Elves aren't inclined to lie, and I wasn't inclined to doubt that either Singlis or Oldreth were serial killers seeking to drug themselves and their offspring into oblivion.

"I'd like you all to stay in this room for now while we have a look around your house for what might have caused this, if you don't mind," I said to them. They agreed happily to that, and I had Erestor sit with them while Glorfindel and I went down to their house in the bright summer night.

"What are we looking for?" Glorfindel asked me as we ran down the sloping path.

"Plants and poisons," I answered. "There has to be something. Let's check the kitchen first.

We went inside and started looking around. Oldreth and the children were perfectly fine when I arrived, so they must have consumed something for breakfast that set them off. And since Singlis had relaxed measurably quite a few hours earlier, she must have had that same thing but the night before.

I went over to the upended dining table, set it back on its legs, and examined the floor.

"Looks like scrambled eggs, butter, bread, jam, and they were drinking water…" I said to Glorfindel. "They make a lot of their own food, so it's probably come from here."

The kitchen had a pot on the stove and beside the sink sat a dirty wine glass and five drinking glasses. I peered into them and saw that four of them had dried-up orange juice pulp in them, and one was clear. Suddenly, it hit me. I grabbed Glorfindel by the arm suddenly, making him jump a little.

"Glorfindel! The well!" I exclaimed, and we ran out the back door. The thing looked pretty inconspicuous- just your average bored well with a cute little tiled roof. The columns supporting the roof were wooden, and had intricate patterned vine carvings in them. Someone had evidently taken great care to make sure the pattern looked the same, because as I flicked my eyes from one to the other, I couldn't see an inch of difference, except-

"Here," I said, tracing my finger down to a small, dead-looking woody vine that had snaked its way from the roof down and into the well. Glorfindel and I dragged it back up, and saw that at the very end, the tip had sprouted green and had a single leaf with one spot on it.

Glorfindel let out a gasp. "Oh! It is gwiraph! Lucky that we found it! It would seem that it is only newly blooming."

I frowned. I had not heard of it before.

"It is a vine that makes leaves with one spot each," he explained. "The spot is made of deadly spores. At high enough concentrations, it kills rapidly, but in this instance, I suppose they did not ingest enough for that."

"So, it's a hallucinogen in small doses," I murmured.

That made sense. People claiming they were abducted by aliens were seldom experiencing psychosis. It was usually the result of the brain making what is called a false memory, but in rarer cases, it can also be brought on through drug use. That explained why the entire family reacted when they drank the water, too, but in different ways. But how had this only just happened now?

"How did they not get sick sooner?" I asked Glorfindel.

"Oh, the spores only release in the early evenings during the hot parts of summer. Last night was the first night it would have been hot enough for it."
He lifted up the vine and examined the length of it. "There are no bumps from where the leaves would have grown out, so it must be a new vine. I would say it started climbing down in the winter and only began to bloom now."

"Ah, so Singlis was the one who drank water last night when the others had wine and juice, and then Oldreth and the children had water this morning when Singlis skipped breakfast!" I groaned, slapping my hand on my head.

"Let's go and ask," said Glorfindel.

I nodded and we bolted back up to test our theory on Singlis and Oldreth. Sure enough, they were able to confirm that after dinner, they sat together with their customary digestifs (and nonalcoholic equivalents), Singlis having opted for water this time around. They had just run out of water in the house, so she went to the well and fetched a large pitcher's worth, from which she drank that night, and the others over breakfast that morning.

We showed them the plant we found around the well, and Singlis and Oldreth looked horrified and clutched their children close to them. It must have been quite a fright for them, having come through wars just gone only to nearly all die because of contaminated groundwater.

"It would seem," I added, "that this tiny dose you got is what accounts for the vivid and occasionally frightening experiences you all had either last night or this morning. Nobody became a bird, nobody was at risk of being attacked by the table, nobody was abducted and experimented on. Everybody's hands were the right size and shape, and it was not snowing indoors. It was all the plant."

They all giggled, relieved that it was over.

"You'll want to give your well a bit of a clean out before you drink out of it, I think," I said after a moment. "Either that or build a new one now, while the ground's still soft." I shrugged. "Whatever you choose, just don't drink from the well right now."

With a smile and a nod, they all started to get up and made their way out of the room, back to the house where one hell of a cleanup awaited them.

We thanked Erestor, who headed out to continue fretting over Elrond's paperwork, and Glorfindel and I replaced the furniture in the reading room.

"We've done awfully well, haven't we?" Glorfindel said happily after we put the last chairs back. He clapped a hand on my shoulder.

"Not bad for a day's work, is it?" I replied with a grin. "We make a good team, you and me!"

He beamed at me and nodded, his cheeks getting a hint of colour in them.

"Come on," he said after a moment. "Let's get something to eat and drink, and go and make some music. What say you?"

"'Anything but water' is what I bloody say," I raised my eyebrows for a moment. "Lead the way, sunshine!"

Psych Notes

False memories and alien abduction

The psychology behind claims of alien abduction has attracted quite a lot of attention from researchers recently. It might seem strange to think that that sort of thing can be transplanted to Middle-Earth, but as a matter of fact, alien abduction claims have featured in cultures from all over the world, and abductions by various mystical creatures has been the basis of a vast body of folklore. I'll grant you, the spaceship is a bit more of a modern invention, but unidentified flying objects have been a phenomenon popping up again and again through history. Plus, I would presume that when you're high as a kite like Singlis was, dreaming up a flying houseboat was probably well within her scope of fantasy.

As I stated earlier, most of the time, claims of alien abduction tend not to arise from episodes of psychosis, or even result from mental illness. Naturally, most of us think the idea of being kidnapped by extraterrestrial beings in a spaceship and being subjected to traumatic experimentation before being returned to earth is quite implausible. We therefore need an explanation as to why anyone would truly believe such an unrealistic thing.

Presently, the research leans most heavily toward the concept of false memories as that explanation. A false memory occurs when we recall a false or distorted event without knowing it is such. We experience them very often, usually without repercussion. Our brains do not record details like computers; they are dynamic, economical repositories that rely on context, relevance, and past experiences when it comes to processing information and events. Relative to the amount of stuff we do recall correctly, false memories are a drop in the bucket.

False memories probably happen because the brain messed up and thought something happening inside your head (e.g. internal monologue, imagination) was actually happening outside in the physical world, known also as a source monitoring error. Other theories exist, but are much less plausible than the proposal of source monitoring errors.