Crazy Mixed Up Love Square

by

Sakura-chan Master of the Clow

Chapter 22: Forgiveness

Summary: Syaoran and Sakura are happily together. But Tomoyo has always had a thing for Syaoran. Eriol comes back to confess to Tomoyo and asks for Sakura's help. She gladly agrees but has promised not to tell anyone. What if Syaoran gets the wrong idea? SS & ET

Disclaimer: I do not own any original characters from CardCaptor Sakura. All belong to the wonderful members of CLAMP. The storyline for this fanfiction, however, is all mine, so please no copyright.

Announcement: No, this is not an April Fool's joke. I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry for the extremely late update. A lot's happened, but I promised you that I wouldn't abandon this story. Quickly, previous chapters are revised so that Syaoran was never entirely "in love" with Tomoyo. Going back to edit this story before posting this chapter, I noticed a lot of inconsistencies, so if you're curious about what I mean, please have a read through before reading chapter; I'm sure it'll be helpful as it's been years. ^^; Other than that the basic foundation is the same. Thank you for understanding, and sorry to keep you waiting so long for this chapter. Hope you enjoy~!


XxXxXx§xXxXxX

Syaoran let out a small 'oof' as he was pushed down to his chair. "What the— What the hell was that for?" he said, glaring at the four people surrounding him, though more in annoyance than anything.

"No, Li Syaoran, you explain to us what the hell is going on," Chiharu retorted back, hand on her hips.

"Eh?"

"Don't 'eh' us," she cut him off. "Something happened on that ski trip, and we want answers, mister."

"We're not idiots, Li-kun," Rika spoke up. "We can tell there's some special friendship between you, Sakura-chan, Tomoyo-chan, and Eriol-kun. There's something between the four of you that maybe we can't cross to, but we're all still friends after all. We want you all to be happy."

Syaoran let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his already unruly hair. "Where is all this coming from?"

"I'm sure you felt it too," Yamazaki said, "but the New Year's shrine visit we all went to was super tense and awkward." The two girls nodded in agreement. "Well, most of it was coming from you and Sakura-chan."

"Yeah, Tomoyo-chan and Eriol-kun suddenly announce that they're going steady, and they were off in their lovey-dovey world throughout the whole thing," Naoko said. "It was all so surprising. Before we left for break, you and Tomoyo-chan were still an item, and we come back to this?"

"Not to mention you were stealing lost-puppy-dog glances at Sakura-chan every chance you got. She might not have, but we noticed. Boy, did we notice," Chiharu said, pointing an accusing finger at Syaoran. If they were in an anime, he would've had a sweatdrop above his head right about now.

"Guys, it's really nothi—"

"Oh no, you don't," Naoko cut him off. "We just want to understand and help. Don't brush us off so quickly, Li-kun.

"Talk to us, man," Yamazaki said, with an uncharacteristically sincere smile, compared to us usual goofy-mischievous one.

Syaoran looked up between the four of them. They had purposely cornered him and dragged him across the school back to their classroom after cleaning duty just to talk to him. Of course, he could feel the tension and confusion when they all met up at the shrine for New Year too. But about staring at Sakura? He didn't think he was so obvious about it; in fact, he felt he was rather discreet seeing as Sakura herself hadn't said anything to him. Then again, she didn't say much of anything to him since they got back from the mountains. He had hoped he could talk to her alone and start anew with the new year, but that was wishful thinking on his part. The only ones who ended up on their own were Eriol and Tomoyo. They disappeared a little before midnight, meaning they most likely shared their New Years Kiss.

Syaoran shuddered at the thought. Not that he wasn't happy for them, he was. He was just surprised. The day they were heading back home from the mountains, Tomoyo and Eriol themselves told both him and Sakura that they'd take their relationship slow and steady. Go on a date first before making anything official. Well, whenever their first date was, it must've gone so well they were already sharing a New Years Kiss. In all honesty, Syaoran was only upset by it because he wished he could have done the same with Sakura as they did previous years.

He let out another sigh and gestured for the four to have a seat. "What do you want to know?"

The friends smiled and quickly pulled up a chair each, surrounding his desk. "Well," Yamazaki spoke up. "I guess when did you Tomoyo-chan break up?"

"During the ski trip." He paused and added, "It was mutual."

They nodded in understanding. "That's good. So Tomoyo-chan finally realized her feelings for Eriol-kun during that time," Rika commented.

"You guys knew?" Syaoran couldn't help but ask.

"Eh? You didn't know?" Naoko said. "His denseness really is something."

"I-I knew," Syaoran said, though he could feel his cheeks become warm. "I'm just surprised you guys caught on too, that's all."

The girls giggled. "We probably knew before you did," Chiharu stated. "But let's move on. When did Eriol-kun and Tomoyo-chan get together?"

"My guess, also during the ski trip. They told us on the day we were going back that they were going to take it slow, go on a date first, and all that. Though I'm not sure when that was, it's safe to assume it was before we all met at New Years."

"So then, if they're together, and of course they seem happy, why haven't you and Sakura-chan gotten back together yet? I would've thought you would be doing all you could to get her back," Yamazaki said. "It's obvious you two never fell out of love with each other. There was a time when you were dating Tomoyo-chan where Sakura-chan was acting a bit off, but honestly, she handled that situation better than we thought and even gave you both her blessings. I mean, it was barely a month, but wow did that month seem to have lasted forever."

"Ah, that's well...I guess that's more my fault than anything. I was a fool." The four friends only blinked at him, waiting for him to continue. Syaoran cleared his throat. "Right from the beginning then. When Hiiragizawa first came back, he asked for Sakura's help in courting Tomoyo-chan. Only, he made her promise not to tell anyone until he was able to confess. I got the wrong idea by how close they seemed and how much time they were spending together and let my jealousy get the better of me. I used Tomoyo-chan's crush on me to get back at her by my own insecurities. I...hurt her. Once, no twice, and even plenty of times after that, just by continuing a relationship with Tomoyo-chan, I hurt her. I broke her heart and her trust in me. After Tomoyo-chan and I broke up, I apologized profusely, but I'm not sure what more I can do. She said she needs time to herself right now. So if that's all I can offer her, I'll wait for her final answer, no matter how long it takes."

"Could that be the reason why Sakura-chan was acting like she and Li-kun were never in a relationship, to begin with?" Syaoran flinched. "It must have been her way of coping with it."

"I see. Now that Eriol-kun and Tomoyo-chan are together, the betrayal of it all must be hitting her hard, " Rika said. "I'd need time to think it over before I jump back into a relationship, too, with anyone for that matter."

"Yeah," Chiharu voiced. "I guess it's understandable. I mean, if Takeshi suddenly went out with one of my best friends, I'd be extremely hurt too. I don't know if I'd rather avoid him or choke him to death."

"As violent as ever, I see, " Yamazaki said nervously.

"So what do we do? Sakura-chan said she needed time, but…"

Chiharu nodded. "Maybe if we got them alone together? If he apologizes, I'm sure she'll at least take it into consideration."

"But he already did, and she still shot him down. I don't think doing nothing is the best option, but that might be what she needs, " Naoko reasoned.

"Er, " Syaoran spoke up. "What are you guys going on about?"

"What do you think? We're thinking up ways to get you and Sakura-chan back together, " Naoko said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Syaoran blinked. "Wait, what?"

"You don't want to?" Yamazaki asked.

"O-of course, I want to." Syaoran could feel his face become warm again. "Look, I appreciate it guys, really I do. And while I have you here, I want to apologize to you all as well. I realize my actions, especially towards Sakura while Tomoyo-chan and I were dating, caused tension between us, it couldn't have been easy dealing with that and I'm truly sorry. Thank you for accepting me and not turning your backs on me even then. Though I know I don't deserve it, I'm grateful to you all, wanting to help me even now. I'm just surprised. I would've thought that you'd rather me and Sakura to be apart. I hurt her...really hurt her. I wouldn't be surprised if she never speaks to me again."

"It's alright, Syaoran-kun," Rika said. "It was awkward more than anything; it was certainly a situation we would've never imagined happening. But Sakura-chan gave you both her blessings, and you're just as important to us as Tomoyo-chan and Sakura-chan. We didn't want to stop being friends with anyone of you because of it."

"And well, yes, it's true that you hurt her." Syaoran slumped at Chiharu's words. "But if she could forgive Tomoyo-chan, I'm sure she can forgive you too. You made a mistake, sure, a big dumb one, but that doesn't make you a bad guy."

Naoko nodded. "Sakura-chan still loves you very much, Li-kun. Her eyes are always finding you whenever you're not obviously fawning over her."

"It's hard on her right now, and that's understandable. But we just want you both to be happy, man," Yamazaki said, clasping an encouraging hand on Syaoran's shoulder.

"And we know you're both happiest when you're together." Chiharu smiled. "Honestly, Sakura-chan has never lost her smile once in all the years you two have been together. So we're certain that only you can bring Sakura-chan's true smile back. You're the one who makes her the happiest we've ever seen her. You both compliment each other so well; there's no way we would want you two to be apart."

Syaoran gave a small smile. "Thank you guys, I mean it. But..." he sighed and bent his head down, "please don't try so hard and get my hopes up so easily. Because even if there's a glimmer of hope for me and she ends up rejecting me for real, I don't know if I'll be able to bear it."

The four could only look on sadly at their friend; his shoulders were slightly shaking as if willing himself not to cry, unbeknownst to all four of a figure near the door which had been listening.

"Oh, Syaoran-kun."

XxXxXx§xXxXxX

Syaoran clutched the strap of his backpack, hoping it would calm his nerves, but it was no use. He was terrified, just standing outside of Sakura's front door, knowing what was in store for him. Taking a deep breath, he rang the doorbell before he could psych himself out. His heat pounded every second there was no answer. Finally, the door opened, revealing the smiling face of Fujitaka Kinomoto. He was shocked to see him, but other than that, his eyes didn't show any malice towards him, which surprised Syaoran. Surely he knew what had happened to his daughter by now, right?

"Syaoran-san," was all Fujitaka could say.

At that moment, Touya walked into the entryway with Yukito. It was clear they were just passing by, yet at the sight of him, he stopped and immediately glared daggers. Boy, if looks could kill, Syaoran was sure he'd be dead then and there. "What the fuck is this Gaki doing here?"

"Touya, language." That's as much scolding Syaoran's ever heard from Fujitaka, and even then, it didn't sound mean at all. Fujitaka turned back to face him with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry, Syaoran-san, Sakura-chan isn't here right now. She stepped out to buy some groceries. Would you like to come inside and wait for her?"

"Like hell, he will! No way is he ever stepping into this house again," Touya said, moving to stand next to Fujitaka, a means to block the entryway to make his point.

"No, thank you," Syaoran quickly said, declining Fujitaka's offer. "Actually I came here to talk with you...all of you, but I can stay out here, it's fine."

"There's nothing for you to say. Get out now."

Yukito moved to stand with Touya and put a soft hand on his shoulder. "Touya, let us hear him out."

"Are you serious, Yuki? Do you not remember what that plush toy told us? You know what he did to Sakura."

"Yes, as does he. He wouldn't be here if it weren't important, especially knowing you'd be here."

Touya could only scoff at that.

"Is Keroberos here?" Syaoran asked. "This is for him as well."

Irritated, Touya called out, "Yo plush toy, get down here!"

"What is it? I told you I'm not a plush toy." Kero came floating his, rubbing his eye. At the sight of Syaoran, he immediately woke up. "What the hell is this brat doing here? You have some guts showing your face."

"Thank you, someone understands," murmured Touya.

Fujiataka gave Syaoran another apologetic look once more but refrained from commenting. "We're all here. What is it you wanted to tell us?"

Syaoran bent down and in a ninety-degree bow. "I would like to apologize for all the heartache I've caused Sakura," he announced. "There's no excuse for my actions, and I am not here to ask for forgiveness. As her family who cares for her, I would like to offer my deepest apologies to you as well for all the hurt I've caused."

"We're not the ones who need your apology," Kero said bitterly.

"I know," Syaoran said, still bowed. "I already apologized to Sakura, and she requested I give her time. I promise to keep away and give her all the time she needs."

"You must be confident that she'll take you back by coming here to say all this," said Touya.

"You weren't there to see her cry her eyes out after you broke up with her, kid," Kero said. "You think I'd let you go anywhere near her after I've seen the aftermath of you breaking her heart?"

"I know I don't deserve her. Nor do I have any confidence that she'll take me back. If by some miracle she was willing to have me back in her life, I swear never to hurt her again."

"And there it is," Touya said and closed the gap between him in Syaoran, pulling him back up by the collar so that they were at eye level. "Listen here, Gaki, you left my sister out in the cold, not once, but twice. She could have fucking died from how high her fever was. You better wish she never takes you back for your sake, so stay the hell away from her."

"Touya."

"Am I wrong, Dad?"

"No, of course not," Fujitaka said. "But at the end of the day, it's Sakura-chan's choice. Whatever she decides, all we can do is support her even if that decision is to take him back. I've known Syaoran-san for some years now, and he's not one to go back on his word. If he says he won't hurt her a second time, I believe him."

"Are you serious?"

"Let go of him, Touya," Fujitaka said with a chilling calmness. "I'm sure he's already aware of where you stand."

Touya clicked his teeth and let go of Syaoran with more force than what as required, causing him to stumble back a bit. "And what do you have to say about all this, Yuki? Or Yue, for that matter?"

"My other half is just as upset as you are. But more than anything, he's mad at himself for not being there when Sakura-chan was hurting the most," Yukito said. "But we both agree with Fujitaka-san. As much as we'd like to protect her from the one who hurt her the most, we also know he's the only one who can bring her true smile back. Whether you like it or not, you can't deny that he's someone very important to Sakura-chan. She still loves him, and nothing we say or do can change what's in her heart. So if she decides she wants him back, all we can do is accept her answer."

Syaoran was stunned. This was not how he imagined all this going down.

"Of course, if it should come to that, I'm sure Li-kun is aware of who he'll have to face if he messes up in the slightest way," Yukito added.

Looking between all four, Syaoran got the hint that it wasn't only Touya who would come after him if he hurt Sakura again. Kero and Yue would also make sure he never hurts their Master again. He wasn't sure about Fujitaka but he did know he'd lose what was left of the trust and respect he had earned throughout the years, and that was just as painful as anything the aforementioned three could do to him. With a gulp, Syaoran nodded. "Yes, I am fully aware."

"It seems we're all on the same page then," Fujitaka said, with the same friendly smile as always. "Is there anything else you need, Syaoran-san?"

"Ah, no. No, that's about it." Syaoran bowed once more. "Thank you for hearing me out."

Fujitaka nodded. "Thank you for coming all this way. I wish you the best."

Syaoran gave a small smile but remained bowed until he heard the door click shut. It was only then he let out the breath he had been holding. He felt a lot lighter, but facing them all took a lot more out of him than he realized. He stood straight once more and took a minute to let it all sink in. They hadn't outright said they forgave him, which was understandable. But at least they were (begrudgingly) willing to give him another chance if Sakura was too. Syaoran turned and was making his way down the steps when he saw her at the other side of the gate arms full of bags of groceries. Immediately his pulse sped up.

"Syaoran-kun?" Sakura questioned, looking between him and her house, fully aware he was still in his school uniform.

"I'm sorry I was just on my way out." Syaoran finished making his way down and opened the gate and stepped aside to let her through. "After you."

"You weren't waiting for me, were you? Did you want to come inside?" she asked as they switched places, so now he was on the street side of the gate.

Syaoran smiled. She was kind, like her father. "No, don't worry about it. I finished what business I had already."

"I see," was all she could say.

He could see she was debating with herself over something. He wanted to be with her more, but he promised to give her time to figure out her feelings. He couldn't be selfish and distract her from that, and he knew she wouldn't find a clear answer if he continued to stay by her side.

"It was nice seeing you," he said with a smile and started walking away. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, see you." She stared after him until he had safely turned the corner. She let out a sigh once he was out of sight and made her way up the steps to her house.

XxXxXx§xXxXxX

"Eh? Where is all this coming from?" Tomoyo asked.

Currently, Syaoran was seated across from Eriol and Tomoyo in Eriol's library. On the table between them a tea set, three cups filled with warm tea and milk, and a tray of sandwiches, though it remained virtually untouched.

"It's just as I said. I'm sorry for using your feelings for me to hurt Sakura."

"Syaoran-kun, our break up was mutual, there are no hurt feelings between us, it's okay."

"I know," said Syaoran. "But this apology is also for Hiiragizawa. If I wasn't so impulsive after you confessed to me, you might have realized your feelings for him sooner, and there wouldn't have been so much heartbreak and misunderstandings between the four of us."

"If you're at fault, then so am I," Tomoyo stated. "I said yes, you didn't make me do anything, Syaoran-kun, it was my choice to go out with you as well. It was my choice to put my feelings for you above Sakura-chan's, knowing you were using me as a rebound. I'm as much to blame for hurting Sakura-chan as you are. If she was able to forgive me, I'm sure she'll forgive you too, just give her time."

Syaoran gave a weak smile. "I'm not so sure about that."

"If we're laying out our dirty laundry like this," Eriol spoke up, "I would like to apologize to you as well, Syaoran-kun." Eriol bowed down. "If I hadn't made Sakura-chan promise not to tell anyone, including you, of my feelings for Tomoyo-chan until I was able to confess, there wouldn't have been a rift between you two." He straightened back up. "Though I am grateful for Sakura-chan's support and consolation following Tomoyo's birthday party and my confession, I should've been cleared the air and allowed her to tell you everything—or at the very least tell you myself—to erase any doubt and insecurity you were feeling at that time."

Syaoran, astounded, wasn't sure what to say to that. Feeling he should say something, cleared his throat, suddenly finding his untouched cup of tea fascinating. "I'm the one who broke up with her, and I've regretted it ever since. I'm the one who hurt her the most. I said I broke up with her because I couldn't trust her, but in the end, I broke her trust in me. It's not your fault."

"It's not entirely your fault, or Tomoyo-chan's, it's mine as well." Syaoran looked up, a knowing smile on Eriol's face. "I was aware of your growing insecurity in your relationship with Sakura-chan. I found your jealousy of Sakura-chan's friendliness towards me amusing, just as I did in grade school. It was all in harmless fun, yet I should've been more sensitive to your feelings and not come in between you two when I came back. Though I was scared of pushing her further away, I should have fought for Tomoyo-chan more instead of seeking comfort in Sakura-chan's friendship whenever things went awry." Eriol took a sip of his tea.
"As I was comforting Sakura-chan, and even when she lost her memories of you, I thought a lot about how things ended up the way they did. Though initially, I was angry with what you had done, I couldn't ignore that it was my actions that had caused misunderstandings to happen between you and Sakura-chan in the first place, and self-doubt to build in your heart. Please, accept my sincerest apologies, Syaoran-kun."

"I, uh…" Syaoran blinked. Taking a moment to let everything Eriol has said sink in, Syaoran finally relaxed and gave a sincere smile. "Thank you, Eriol-kun."

Tomoyo smiled as she looked between the two boys. "You shouldn't blame yourself for everything that's happened, Syaoran-kun. The actions you took were because you were hurting too. I shouldn't have burdened you with my feelings for you when you were confiding in me that day in the park. I'm sorry as well."

"Right. Thank you as well, Tomoyo-chan. I couldn't say it properly before, but I'd like to congratulate you two on your new relationship. I'm sincerely happy for you."

Tomoyo smiled. She no longer felt her heart speed up or face grow hot whenever in Syaoran's presence or whenever he addressed her like before. Having dated him, it wasn't as if she wasn't happy in their relationship, but she found her feelings for him weren't the same as when she was dating him as they were when she would watch him from a distance. Somewhere along the way, her feelings for Syaoran transformed back into those of friendship as her feelings for Eriol grew stronger. Perhaps, seeing how happy he made Sakura, she loved the idea of Syaoran, the idea of having someone who loved her more than anything else in the world. She placed her hand over Eriol's and smiled at him; he looked back at her, and his lips pulled into a warm smile. With Eriol, she had found that someone for her.

"So, then," Eriol said. "Syaoran-kun, please make sure not to make Sakura-chan cry this time around."

Syaoran reached for his teacup, finally at ease enough to enjoy the refreshments properly. "You say that as if she'd take me back."

"You don't believe in Sakura-chan?"

"I do believe in her; it's me I don't believe in. I had to learn that the hard way." Syaoran took a sip. "You were both right; I never stopped loving her. I let my jealousy get the best of me, but I won't make that same mistake again. I'll believe Sakura if she gives me another chance. I swear, I won't hurt her again, I'll do everything I can to keep a smile on her face...If she'll take me back, that is."

"Syaoran-kun," Tomoyo said sadly.

"I'm willing to wait for her for as long as she needs, but…" Syaoran lowered his head. "Even though I love her so much, I feel like I don't deserve her. I don't think my heart could take it if I allowed myself to hope, and she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. After what I put her through, I'm sure she's better off without me."

"I don't believe that," Tomoyo said. "I've been watching you both all these years, and there's no one else for Sakura-chan than you. It's like you're destined to be together; believe me, I learned that the hard way too." Tomoyo smiled. "I'm sure Sakura-chan is the first person you apologized to, but I think there's still things unsaid between you both. If she's willing to listen to you, I think you should tell her your side of the story, and she should finish telling you hers. Be honest with her, and I'm sure the answer will become clear to her. I think her head is just as mixed up as yours is right now."

Syaoran nodded, taking in her advice.

"I'm rooting for you, Syaoran-kun," Eriol said, and Syaoran could tell he was genuine.

Syaoran smile. "Thank you."


Anonymous Reviews from Chapter 21

KaTaRiNaH Hello! I hope you're still with me! I wanted to show some kind of progress for Syaoran and everyone. If you're still on this site, I hope you liked this chapter. If you have any ideas for how SyaoxSaku should reconcile, I would love to hear it!

Guest I get what you're saying. I have a minor idea, but it's not set in stone yet.

There's no excuse I can give for making you wait this long for an update. All I can say is I lost a lot of motivation and was discouraged in writing more. The previous chapter is one I was the proudest of and one I was hoping to gain feedback from the most. Still, it only received five reviews, which was discouraging for me, and to be honest, I hadn't really planned what would happen after that last chapter, so I was at a standstill. But I promised I would finish this story and I will. The next one will probably be the last one, so if you have a vision of how you want SxS to get together, or not together, please let me know, I would love to hear your input. We're stuck in quarantine, so what else is there to do than finish this story, right?

Unrelated to this story, my other on-going fanfic Middle of Nowhere is put on indefinite hiatus until I complete this one. I want to do my best and update more, and it's been hard brainstorming for both stories that I often get confused about which ideas are for what. Also, that story is going through a revision phase right now as the story kind of took on a life of its own and swayed away from what I initially planned. So I am currently taking my time with it and carefully making sure I am satisfied with each chapter and what I originally wanted to happen in each one to move the story along better. Updates for that one won't come until I have written enough where I am satisfied with posting it and can update in a timely manner. I am always thinking of how to improve myself and my stories so as not to disappoint those who come across them and take their time to read them.

Thank you for continuing to stick by me. I love you all!

Sakura-chan Master of the Clow