CHAPTER EIGHT

My feet slid lightly across the creaky wooden floors of the store. Oddly enough, I took pleasure in the sound of the dirt shifting on the planks, as I shuffled around, mindlessly staring at all the items that lined the shelves. I should have been fascinated by this. I was basically in an antique store, where every item was still brand new. However, I found myself more interested in the woman behind the counter.

I tried my best to not be caught gawking. If we had been in my time period, I was sure the store clerk would think I was trying to steal something, given my shady behavior. Thankfully, Edward kept this woman busy with his orders. If she was, in fact, his mother, I was fascinated that he could converse with her so easily.

This woman. Who was she? Was she truly Edward's mother, or just some ancestor who bore a remarkable resemblance? She was quite a bit younger than the woman I had met back at Edward's parents' home, but her voice even sounded the same.

It took everything in me to not press Edward for answers right there in that small wooden shop. But you had to hand it to me. I didn't make a scene. I didn't give us away. I handled the situation perfectly, even if I had to grind my teeth together to stop myself.

I could still taste that sweet orange peel candy Esme…Ann…whomever she was, had given me. It was really quite good. I wondered what it would take for Edward to procure some.

My eyes drifted out the window to the woods behind the store where an outhouse sat, and I saw the storekeeper, Mr. Foster, emerging from it. I held back a slight shudder, thinking about the absence of handwashing.

"Isabella, is there anything you require before we leave?" Edward asked, breaking me from my idle staring out the window.

I wanted to ask him for some of those delicious candies, but I still had trouble with how I should reply. In my time period, I would walk over and possibly place my hand on his arm and give a sweet sentiment. But I had already been informed that I shouldn't come off as forward in any way.

I smiled softly and bowed my head in reverence and replied, "No, thank you."

Edward smiled at me and then turned his attention back to his relative.

"Then, that should do it. Please, let me know when those items will be in."

I walked over to the counter and said to the woman…whoever she might be, "Thank you again for your kindness. Good day."

Edward led me out of the store and helped me up onto the cart. Mr. Foster waved at us from the store. Once again, unsure of how I should respond, I nodded my head once and held on, as Edward clicked his tongue to get the horse to move.

"Perhaps you'd like a small tour of the town?" Edward asked.

"That'd be…lovely."

There wasn't much to see, and the whole tour took less than ten minutes. Every building seemed to be fairly close to the next. What I took interest in was when Edward would point out a person. Some names I knew from remembering the Arthur Miller play I had read years ago. Others I wasn't so sure of.

"You see that little girl?"

I nodded, seeing this small, adorably perfect child.

"She's quite famous in her own right. The youngest to be accused. Only four years old. Some say she confessed, so she could be with her mother in prison. Sarah Good."

I felt the blood drain from my face.

"Please, tell me they did not hang that child," I said through my gritted teeth. My mind raced, as I tried to remember such a ghastly occurrence from my education.

"No, she was never tried. Only imprisoned for nine or so months, but at least she survived…unlike her mother…who, incidentally, was pregnant while in jail. The baby died, however, so at least they didn't hang a pregnant woman."

I nearly gasped. I was sure my face held my disdain for his careless remark.

"How can you be so callous? These are real people…"

"Bella, can you do me a favor?" he asked, cutting me off. "Don't get attached to them. Over two hundred will be accused…imprisoned…and twenty of them will be executed. Don't get attached to them."

He shook his reigns and hurried the horse along.

"And your mother?" I questioned.

He sighed and focused on the road.

"She'll be accused. Imprisoned. And she'll be one of four who'll die waiting for trial."

I shook my head. "But how…"

"Isabella! I don't wish to discuss this now. We're out in the open. Someone could hear."

"Who?" I asked, looking around. "What is it? You think our buggy is bugged?"

I saw his jaw tighten. If I hadn't just caught him time tripping to fend off his hunger pangs, I might have been yelled at some more. However, he knew he had no leg to stand on.

"My father saved her. He faked her death. When he brought her into the future and helped her acclimate, she decided to drop her first name and take on Esme. She was imprisoned for nearly six months. You think you have it hard now? You have no idea just how bad it can get. She can't even think of this time in her life. When she heard we were coming here, she turned white as a ghost, even though she already knew."

"Knew?" I asked.

"Yes, she already knows our destiny. More so than myself."

I think I was more confused than ever.

"Then, why not just tell you who has the book or what happens to us? How can she know, when you can just as easily look into the future and find out?"

"It doesn't work that way. I can see an outcome, usually, but not a step-by-step plan. Someday, I'll show you how it works, but if my mother told me anything, it could immediately change the final outcome. The history she experienced could be altered in her own head, just as the words tripped off her tongue. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly. "So, you're saying that…the future is always changing…never set in stone. Even now, we can change what happened, just from the smallest word spoken or deed done."

Edward looked over at me. "Exactly."

I sighed, wanting to ponder this later. I still had more I wanted to know about Esme.

"So, why did your father choose her? Is he here, too? How did they meet?"

"No, he's not here…yet. Thank god," he mumbled under his breath.

"You have some major daddy issues, don't you?"

"If looks could kill" was an applicable phrase here. But I met his challenging stare, never backing down, as I was sure he was hoping I would do. Slowly, his eyes averted, and he looked back out over the land.

"You have no idea," he replied softly.

We were nearing our homestead, so I wanted to get more answers out of him, before he could time jump for his dinner fare.

"Your mother? How did he…"

"I don't know, Bella! He looked through time and saw she was the one. He didn't have a choice. It was in God's plan," he snapped.

His words chilled me to the bone and had the desired effect he was eager for, even if he hadn't realized. I didn't say another word the rest of the ride back. In my mind, I kept replaying the moment when I had asked Edward why he had chosen me to help him.

"Bella, I looked through time and saw you. I saw you were the one. I don't know who picked you. If you believe in God, I guess you could say it was that, or if you don't, then I guess destiny would be the next popular answer. In a way, I'm sure it'd make you feel better that I didn't choose you. I just came to you, because I saw you were the one."

At the time, I had thought he had meant I was the one for the mission. Now, I worried he meant I was the one for another reason. Was this his plan? Pick me out of history, because he saw I was the one? The one to…marry him? Have his child, so that the next line of time changers could be born?

"Oh, my god," I gasped quietly.

"Are you getting out or not?"

I snapped out of my fearsome thoughts and saw we were back at our residence. Edward was already down on the ground, waiting to help me. I looked at his outstretched hand, and for a second, I pictured it with a gold band around his fourth finger.

I shook my head to try and rid the image from my mind.

"Suit yourself," he replied, taking my actions as a dismissal.

I wrapped the wool cloak around me and sat in that wagon for far too long. My nose felt as if it were going to fall off from the cold, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in my spot.

What if Edward had meant for me to be what Esme was to his father? How was this ever going to work? He could barely tolerate me, let alone…sleep with me. Just the thought of having sex with this man made me nauseated. We couldn't agree on one damn thing. How could we go the rest of our lives together, just because destiny or God said so?

I scoffed aloud.

Destiny my ass.

If Edward and I were to be together for all eternity, the only destiny I could foresee was a murder-suicide combination.

"What in the hell is the matter with you? You're going to get sick if you continue to sit there," Edward snapped.

He carried with him a pail of milk, apparently fulfilling the chores I had neglected. I rubbed my hands together and stood up slowly to disembark.

Edward waited for me and followed me into the house.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about? Were you planning to spend the night out there?"

I walked over towards the fire and sat down beside it to warm up. It felt heavenly.

"I just have a lot on my mind. Sometimes, I need quiet to ascertain my…" I struggled with finding the correct word. I didn't want to bring up my hypothesis to him just yet. I didn't know how he would take it, or if he would lie. I needed more proof. Edward stared at me, waiting for me to finish.

"I've had a long day and a lot of information to process," I snapped. "Now, are we having eggs for dinner, or are you going to snap, crackle and pop your way into another dimension and get us some dinner?"

"That's what this is about? You're still mad at me for time jumping? God, Bella, get over it."

I hadn't even been thinking about it anymore, but his attitude lit a fire within me.

"You're so damn frustrating! How have you managed to stay alive this long? Doing what you do? How have you not failed? I'd think that time travelling…changing…would take a certain amount of charm, but you've proven over and over again that you're a jerk, and I fear for whatever woman ends up with you. Do the women of the world a favor and remain unattached. Go time jump and get your next meal. I'd rather starve than take anything from you!"

I stood up and marched right over to our small room and slammed the door as hard as I could. The whole house shook from the violation. I ran my hands over my face, realizing I hadn't done a thing to prepare myself for bed.

Normally, I would brave the outhouse one more time and then wash my face with the icy water our well provided. I would use some water to swish around my mouth, since we had happened upon a time when toothbrushes weren't made readily available. What I wouldn't do for a decent toothbrush and paste.

I flopped down in the bed and kicked off my shoes, letting them fall to the floor in disarray.

I should just throw the towel in. Tell Edward to take me home. Not because I couldn't hack the 1600's. More so, I couldn't hack the 1600's with Edward.

Destiny.

God, how I hated the word. Just once, I wished destiny were a person, so I could kick his or her ass. I sat up on the bed and took my feathery pillow and began to pummel it. Not too hard, as I didn't want the damn thing to rupture and then have to spend my night picking up feathers.

Edward walked in just as I was hitting the damn thing and stopped in his tracks. I scowled in his direction, hoping he would take the hint and leave me alone. But as history had already proven, he was just as stubborn as I was and ignored my threatening stare. He even went so far as to come over to the bed and lay down beside me.

I turned away from him and stared out the window. We both stayed silent for far too long, but I was not going to crack first. I would wait in that seated position until I heard his snores and then go about my routine.

"I love my father. I respect him. He's an amazing person, but…I don't like him."

I turned slightly, astonished that he was finally opening up to me. He continued to stare at the wooden ceiling.

"My father looked through time and saw me…but I wasn't his choice to continue his work. No matter how hard I work or succeed, I'll probably never make him proud of me. I wish I didn't need his approval. I know it's childish for me to hope for it, but something about never earning his respect after everything I've endured is…maddening."

His face tightened, as he held back his emotions. I felt his desire to unburden his soul, but he would never shed a tear in front of me. He was far too stubborn to ever let me see him vulnerable.

He had taken a step forward and made great progress in trusting me with his true feelings. I didn't want to press him, because I knew it would take many baby steps for him to be able to share with me without thought.

I lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, feeling his arm mere inches from mine. I had to control myself and not take his hand to give him a supportive squeeze. It was something I would do if it were Alice, but Edward would take it negatively.

"Do you believe in God?" I asked.

My eyes strained to see his face, but I didn't dare move my neck. I could see my question had made an impact, as he furrowed his brow, wondering why I would choose to ask such a thing.

"Or do you believe in destiny? You said something to me once. You made it sound as if a person would believe in either one or the other. So…which one do you believe in?" I wondered.

Edward's mouth opened slightly, as he searched for his answer. "Yes, I believe in God."

I popped up off my pillow and turned to him. "Really? That surprises me."

"Why?" he asked, looking me in the eye for the first time.

"You just…seem so worldly. I always found the God myth to be…"

"God myth? What makes you think it's a myth?"

I shrugged. "I guess…if anyone should know…" I looked at him expectantly. "You could travel to the time of Jesus. Moses. Sodom and Gomorrah. See for yourself if any of it was true. Hell, even Adam and Eve, right? So, have you? Seen if it were true?"

"No," Edward replied, shaking his head. "I would never."

"Why not?" I asked, rather shocked by his answer.

"Because I believe in God," he replied.

I went to question him, but he cut me off before I had a chance.

"Bella, as a believer, I'm expected to have faith. If I were to go and see if the stories were true…well, if I were to find out they were, I'd no longer have faith, because I'd know. If I found that the stories were false, I'd also lose my faith. Doing what I do…I need my faith. I wish I could say that what I did in Germany was the worst of it, but it wasn't. The only thing that gets me through is believing that I'm on the side of good. That I'm doing the right thing."

I laid back down and sighed.

"I don't know how you do it," I said quietly. "I was practically useless in Germany. I don't even feel as if I'm much help here. I don't know what I'm doing…why destiny would ever tell you to pick me. I think it was wrong."

"I don't believe that's true." He sat up on his side and looked down at me. "You did good today. I was proud of you. I was the idiot. I didn't prepare you with the knowledge of my mother. You could've inadvertently done something wrong. Said something, but you handled it like a champ. So, I apologize, because…it's a crap excuse, but I'm not used to traveling with another person. Even my father only took me on two runs, before I was sent off on my own. It feels foreign to have the company, but I kind of like it. What I don't like is knowing that I'm completely responsible for you. If something happens to you…I'd never forgive myself."

I slowly sat up, mirroring his position.

"You don't have to put that on yourself, Edward. I'm a grown and capable woman. If something happens to me, it'll be my responsibility. I'm responsible for my own actions. I'd just appreciate a little…support. Maybe you could milk that damn cow for me. That'd be a great help," I said with a laugh.

He laughed, too, and replied, "Okay. I'll take on the cow from now on."

My stomach rumbled, and I placed my hand over it to cover.

"You sure you don't want me to snap, crack and what was it you said? Pop my way over to a decent meal?"

I bit my lip, thinking of the food I had missed so much since being here.

"Well, I wouldn't say no to a decent pizza," I cringed, wondering if he would deliver.

"Pizza," he said, tilting his head. "I think we can accommodate that."

He stood up and walked over towards our window and closed the shutters, before disappearing in front of my very eyes.

"I wouldn't mind a decent toothbrush, either," I said into the wind, but Edward was back with a small wooden box in his hands, before I had even finished my sentence.

"God, you're fast!" I remarked.

"Well, pizza was first made popular in the late 1800's, so it wasn't all that far for me to 'pop.'"

"So, no Dominos?"

Edward gasped, offended.

"This is far better than any Dominos. Once you have a taste of this pie, you'll be begging me at all hours to accommodate." He sat down on the bed and opened the top off the wooden box, while I hid my face from the growing blush, thinking his words could mean something else.

"I forwent the natural beverages one would eat with this type of culinary delight. In the past, you seemed to be offended by the appearance of wine or ale, so you'll need to make do with water or milk."

I rolled my eyes at him, and thankfully, his comment made me forget the reason I felt embarrassed. The pizza looked a lot different from what I was used to, but the steam that came off it smelled heavenly. Chunks of tomato, cheese and basil leaves laid on a worked, darkened crust.

Edward ripped off a slice and handed it to me, which I took eagerly. It felt funny to eat such a messy item in a bed with a man who, on most days, frustrated me rather than made me happy. But this moment so far was my favorite.

We ate our food in silence, and after we were finished, I awkwardly excused myself to prepare for bed. I knew tomorrow would be a big day. It was Sunday. The most important day of the week around these parts. I was both anxious and excited for it. We hadn't attended church last week, so I knew it was imperative we attend tomorrow. I had a feeling the book we were looking for was in the hands of a churchgoer. Why else would they feel so inclined to burn such a thing?

I still wasn't sure what, exactly, was in this book that would make it possibly damning during this hostile period. Did it go against the belief in God? I couldn't imagine how something like that would be a key to saving millions of lives in the future.

When I came back from washing my face, Edward was already in bed with the covers pulled up. He was laying on his back, which was different, as we had made this silent agreement to stick to our sides, as far away from one another as we could get.

I would never know what possessed me, but instead of sleeping in my complete costume, as I had been doing, I took off the top pieces and dressed down to my shift, as I was supposed to do. I didn't look at Edward, as I pulled back the covers and settled in beside him on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I could already feel a change occurring between the two of us.

"Do you believe in God? I take it that you don't, since you stated God was a myth earlier," Edward said.

I shrugged. "I don't think so. I wasn't brought up in a religious atmosphere. I've been reading the Bible a lot, since I don't have anything else to read…which is driving me crazy, because I miss my books, but so far, it seems fantastical."

"Then, what do you think happens when we die?"

I laughed a little and turned my head to reply to him. "I've heard there are certain things people should never discuss. Politics and religion. And seeing as how you and I have been unable to make it through a conversation without confrontation, perhaps we shouldn't be discussing this."

He turned toward me and propped himself up. I tried to not look at him, because there was something about the way he looked at me, it made me feel something. True, in the past, I had found him to be particularly pleasing to look at, but I usually reminded myself of his actions and insufferable attitude to help me forget how handsome he was. How green his eyes were and the way they would squint right before he prepared to speak. I had once asked him how he managed to make it through time travel, because he wasn't charismatic, but the problem was, he was too alluring.

"I don't want to fight. I just want your opinion. I'll respect whatever you may say. I guess I just…miss conversation. So far, all my conversations in town have been very short and obligatory. You can tell me the truth. I won't be offended."

I bit my lip, thinking over his question, but the problem was, I'd never given it much thought.

"I don't know. I guess…I figured we just cease to exist."

"And you're okay with that? No meaning to life? No reason to hope for something more?"

I thought about my father and wondered if I truly did believe that, or did I believe we could possibly meet again? Well, now, thanks to Edward, it was possible.

"I hope it's true. I hope I'll see my loved ones again someday. Maybe even sooner rather than later…"

"Why? Do you think you're going to die soon? Don't answer that. You're going to make me stress about you while we're here. Somehow, I have this vision that you'll end up in trouble before we find that book."

Suddenly, I was wondering where Edward's off button was.

"No, I don't think I'm going to die…soon. I'm not planning to make trouble. Please, calm down. I've been good. I haven't done anything for you to have a lack of faith in me. I just want to help you find that book. A book you haven't given me any idea of what it may look like or what, exactly, it has in it…"

Edward sighed and flopped back on his pillow.

"So…you're not going to tell me?"

"It's an old book. Hundreds of years old. It has inside it handwritten pages and drawings. Never copied or reproduced. A catalog of plants, flowers and trees, with small descriptions of each item and what they were used for. One of these plants is extinct. It's my job to get the book into the right hands, so they may discover that this extinct plant is the source for the medicine needed to cure the plague that comes in the future."

"And next, after finding the book, you have to go back and find the extinct plant and bring it into the future?" I questioned.

"Yes, but it's more complicated than that. Not only do I have to track down said plant, but I need to grow it and make sure that it continues to grow throughout time, so it's around at the right time and place. This will be the most difficult task of them all. It'll take far more time than finding this book will."

I knew Edward didn't want me here. He had said yes and had regretted it ever since. He probably thought he could have been in and out of Salem in a jiffy, if he didn't have to deal with my dead weight. More than anything, I wanted to prove that I was an asset. I was not sure why it was so important to me, but somehow, I knew I would need to find that book before he did.

"So, tomorrow is a big day," I hinted.

"Why is that?"

"Well…it's Sunday. Big day around here, or so I've been led to believe."

Edward sighed loudly. "We don't need to attend church, Bella."

"Of course, we do. People will think we're sinners. Plus, I have a feeling your book is in the hands of one of those churchgoers."

"Why would you think that?"

"If I were holding a book which contained information that many in this time period would consider sorcery, I might think that, with a witch hunt going on, I should rid myself of said book, before someone finds it and accuses me of witchcraft." I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "So ignorant. It amazes me that, what some would find educational, these people are so stupid to believe this information could be used in curses and spells."

I saw Edward smirking. He obviously was trying to hold in his laughter.

"What?" I snapped.

"Well…if it makes you feel any better, the people in the future all believe that you…your time period…was filled with ignorance and stupidity as well."

I narrowed my eyes, but before I could say anything, Edward quickly replied, "Just remember that societies are building blocks. They try and learn from their predecessors and grow from that knowledge…most of the time. I'd love to point out all your failings…I mean, your time period's failings, but as you've admitted before, you kept to yourself and wasn't aware of current events…"

I scrunched my nose, hating how right he was. It wasn't right for me to make a comment on these people, when, throughout history, there had been many ignorant mistakes made. My period was hardly exempt from that.

"What time period are you from, exactly? You act as if you know all and are just oh-so-perfect. Are you from the future, Edward?" I taunted.

He smiled pompously and shook his head. "Hardly. But I have the luxury of being aware from my travels. I make mistakes…just like you. I just have the ability to fix my mistakes, for the most part."

I pushed him hard in the shoulder, and he laughed.

"I'm going to sleep. I don't think I like you very much right now," I replied, turning over and facing the window.

I felt him come close. Not close enough to touch me, but close enough that, when he spoke, his breath blew my hair, tickling my ear.

"Oh, Bella. Your comment leads me to believe that you like me, which is a little surprising, I must say, after all I've put you through. So, for the sake of not endangering your positive feelings for me, I bid you a good night and sweet dreams."

I wanted to reply, but I couldn't come up with an adequate response. What was worse was the fact that I hadn't refuted his comment, which had probably led him to believe he was correct in his assessment.

Our talk was a step in the right direction. However, I found that all the information I had been supplied with overwhelmed me. I laid in bed, staring out the window at the star-filled sky. Questions about Edward's intentions caused an ache in my head. I attempted to deafen these worries by focusing on finding this book.

Tomorrow would be key. I needed to begin laying the foundation of integrating myself into this community and gaining these women's trust. That book had to be with someone in the church. I didn't know for sure, but my gut was telling me that the most pious of people were usually the guiltiest of people…


AN: Thank you all for your patience. Thankfully the hardest season at my work is nearly over so I can try and get back at it. Also hoping to get this story done by middle of May as I am due then and have no idea how much time I will have after taking care of three girls, four and under.

Degrees of Deception, The Loser and The Lesser have been nominated for a Top Ten Stories of the Year over at Twifanfictionrecs dot com. It would mean a lot if you would take a minute and go vote! Polls close at the end of the week.

Thank you to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for editing!

STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.