Chapter Twenty-Three: Mountainous Birthday Bash


Amy held his arm lovingly. Now he's wearing his flannel top that he'd removed during their dalliance. She turned her head into him, face to face with Sheldon, with the remaining strength she could muster, Amy muttered, "Sheldon, you're changing."

Amy rubbed his chest. "I apologize, Sheldon. Please, let's not do this right now. We won't be going until 8 tomorrow. Let's talk before that, please."

The morning turned quickly as expected. Amy woke up earlier than him. She quickly dressed for the day's festivities. It was her birthday, after all, making her all too excited to spend the day with the people closest to her.

Leaving a fleece top and pants in Sheldon's bed, she wrote a note saying: 'Good morning, Sheldon. Wear long johns underneath these. And bring that backpack I told you to pack. I'll see you later. Amy x.'

She waited in the kitchen with her morning cup of coffee. Snowfall excited her as she looked out the picture windows, giving a view of winter. Her brother woke up the same time as her, plowing the driveway for their day's journey.

As she waited, messages came filling her inbox. From relatives, some people she knew from work, and oddly, a text from Penny wishing her a happy birthday and checking in on Sheldon who she hadn't talked to since he disappeared. The time difference told her that it was 3 a.m. on the west coast. Even her parents still hadn't greeted her. On how Penny managed to message her that early was still a mystery.

The group had nothing to give but support when they heard about Sheldon's disappearance. It didn't come out as odd. Everybody was expecting that one day, in the middle of Amy's stay in New Hampshire, Sheldon will be clambering after her. It was a matter of when, instead of if and how.

So by the morning he was discovered to have vanished, his suitcase missing, two people were immediately contacted. The first was no other than Mary. Although she was his last contact, Sheldon was not in Texas. That brought them to Amy. Calling her at 8 in the morning (their 5 a.m.), they were elated to know that Amy was just about to pick up breakfast for a shivering Sheldon who decided that wearing a coat in winter was too cool for the hotshot physicist.

Sheldon's footsteps brought her back to reality. Wearing that matching all-black sweater and pants and light blue backpack, he looked like a youngster ready to hit the wintery streets of New Hampshire. His early arrival gave them more time to talk about what they left last night.

After a cup of hot tea, Amy dragged him outside, not without forgetting their gloves and coat, to avoid any disturbances. The plow ran noisily in the background as they held hand in hand beyond the porch. Leading him further into the trees beside the house, Amy took her time to walk with him.

All along, Sheldon thought they were just sitting on the porch but Amy's insistence to go further into the forest was chilling.

"A-Amy, where are we going?" He looked back in fright as the cabin was slowly getting obstructed by thick, snow-laden spruce trees and tall, slender white birches that towered the spruces.

Amy turned to him and gave him an assuring smile. "Don't worry. I just want you to bring you to a nearby creek."

Sheldon believed her. He believed her more when seconds later, he could hear water rushing calmly. Closer and closer and the presence of water proved its existence. A promising feat to have witnessed one of the many tributaries of a major river in New Hampshire. He looked back and he still can see the smoke coming out from their cabin's chimney. That's comforting.

Frozen rocks and boulders were along the banks of the stream, surrounded by a blanket thick snow on the feet on the trees. Amy decided to bring them close enough to the stream that small, icy splashes of water hit their feet. They sat at one of the makeshift benches, probably made by the cabin's owner from wood scraps. Using their gloved hands, they swept away the block of snow accumulated on its surface.

"We're talking," Amy began as she sat sideways, tucking her leg underneath her bottom, just to face Sheldon. It was her way to tell Sheldon that he could start with whatever's bothering him.

"You said I was changing." He dove headfirst to the topic at hand. If he prolonged this even further, chances are Amy will be unhappy and miserable.

"Yes, you are."

He shook his head adamantly. "But I don't like to change. I can't change. This doesn't make any sense, Amy."

Amy stared at him plainly, no evidence of good or bad emotion. She seemed very nonchalant about this. "You told me you love me, right?"

For the love of God . . .

He slumped down and sighed, glancing at her in defeat. "How many times do I have to tell you? Of course I do!"

Amy cocked her head and smiled coyly. "Well, did you love me last year?"

"No," he abruptly responded, unable to connect the dots. He stared for a while, Amy in anticipation as Sheldon soon realized the point. "Oh, that was a change," whispered Sheldon.

A smile crept on Amy's face as she nodded. "Exactly. I was not saying that you changed fully. I don't want that; I'm used to the old Sheldon. I'm just saying that there are things that you say or do that you usually don't in the past."

He gasped. "For example Sheldon Cooper loving you is a change that I've only come to realize when you moved away."

"That's spot on," she commended, patting his knee.

Sheldon gazed at her beneath his lashes, intense but dubious, uncertain if what he's about to do was acceptable. "I love you, Amy. I-In case I haven't made it clear," he stuttered.

Hearing those words was not foreign to her anymore. Sheldon had declared it a handful of times and since then, the initial shock brought by those words dwindled down into a comfortable sensation. Amy knew he loved her, and every time he uttered those words, she knew he meant well. "I know that, Sheldon."

Still gazing at her intensely, he whispered. "D-Do you feel the same towards me?"

After the gift-giving of yesternight, it was the only thing Sheldon could muster. Now that he can think of it, he felt like a lunatic coaxing Amy to do as he wished. He doesn't want that, despite the fact of having the quality. What he wanted was to be with Amy. Whether she tells him that she loves him or not, Sheldon wished to be with her. But the persistent side of him still wouldn't give up.

A light snicker was the thing Amy could offer. She just hoped Sheldon didn't find it offensive when she did. It was her way of remembering their past conversations about this matter. Sheldon really was a stubborn man. As her laughter waned, she moved closer to him.

"Why are we fixating on me finally saying this 'I love you' thing to you?" She smiled wistfully, looking out at his emotions. "Isn't how I treat you, how I care for you, how I hold you dear speaks for those words that badly want to hear?"

He squared his jaw and looked away. "But this one's different."

She removed her glove and held his cheek. Motioning his face to look at her, Amy's lips came to him. She pulled away quickly to see his face dazed, his lake blue hooded eyes digging into her. "I know it is, but remember what I said when we were up that viewing deck," she laid out gently. "That actions speak louder than words. That I can prove your importance to me just as well from my actions alone, Sheldon."

He stuck his lower lip out. "But why does Frank get it?"

"The 'I love you'?" Amy said in shock, laughing afterward. "I've known the man my whole life, Sheldon! We knew each other before it even sank in. I've shared triumphs and defeats with him. We've lived on opposite coasts for 7 years now and that man never failed to support me every step of the way. Even if he has a family that he loves deeply, he never shunned me out. And that's why he gets an I love you."

"But that doesn't mean you don't get one from me."

Sheldon sighed, producing another round of smoke from his mouth. "You're right," he answered, defeated. It would be futile to keep on arguing. "I shouldn't be acting this way."

"No, you're not wrong for feeling that way. But you have to understand that even if I don't utter the words, I want you to feel that you are very much appreciated. For everybody who stood by you, despite your difficulties—their words, not mine—know that they did stay for a reason."

They did. For the longest time. Despite the fact that he was a condescending, entitled prick who had nothing to say but how good he was and how bad everybody else, some people stayed. While some didn't even last a day, some remained for years. Not through coercion. Not through bribery. But they just did. Even if sometimes they want him gone.

"I've been asking questions since we got here, but I have one for you." He gaped at her in reluctance and a bit of pain. "Why is it so difficult to say those words?"

"Sheldon…" Amy responded weakly. She knew very well the feeling of anticipation. Sheldon described it to her once: it felt like tiny needlepoints abrading his nape violently, the salient poking of his scalp to the point of hallucinatory bleeding. "I've never had such profound affection for anyone before. Other than my family, I never thought to hear that delicate remark from anyone. And hearing it from you terrifies me."

"I've never told it to anyone other than my family, either. It took me some time to think, and I was afraid that the feeling would not be reciprocated," he confessed in remorse. Admitting to something, especially when it does have to do with his ego, was frightening. Even if it was Amy, it still made his stomach turn upside down.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Clearly, I didn't tell anyone other than my family before. But I'm frightened by the thought of saying those words and getting heartbroken afterward. Being married complicates it even more. If we separate—"

Sheldon cut her off. "Which will be impossible."

"Only if, Sheldon," she stressed out, giving him a solemn look. "If we happen to separate, even if the divorce is uncontested, it will take months or even a year before that is processed. Do you know how much pain that would inflict if I ever got deeply in love with you?"

"You're not taking me into account, Amy. If I really did love you so much, wouldn't I be the one in greater pain?" he responded frustratingly. Sighing, Sheldon held his head down and muttered, "I'm being selfish."

Amy shook her head immediately. "Don't beat yourself up just because your opinions and mine oppose each other." Sheldon drew his head up, gazing at her. "And I know a few reasons why you wouldn't be in so much pain."

"What is that?"

"Science is there, patiently waiting for you to open your arms again. I've been informed that sometimes when personal things don't go your way, you numb it with science," she revealed, "And if we break up, all your friends are there with you. I know the girls and I have been getting along lately, but let's face it, they'll choose to stay by you. And honestly, with that, I've got no one, really. I can't just relocate here to be with my brother. My parents and I have not been that close since the beginning. It's just too much, Sheldon."

He saw the split second of pain in her eyes, glistening as the sun started to rise. So, this is what my life is now. I've got science, friends and a family, particularly a mother who's been on my side from the beginning. Now I've got Amy but she barely has someone in her life.

"While I applaud you for considering the possibilities at the event of our separation, I don't think that it will ever happen. You only convinced me further that I need you more than you need me. Frankly, even if my friends are there, my mother on the first flight to LA, and science knocking at my door, who wants to hang out with people awkwardly just because they hung out with your ex-wife a few hours ago, who wants a Christian fanatic who has got nothing but bible verses to solve problems, and who wants to do science if the only thing I see in my whiteboard is a figment of you through my scribbles. Even if we break up, all those things that you said I have, they're all useless." He heaved deeply as his emotions surged their way from his chest to his head. Don't cry, Sheldon. Don't cry, Sheldon. Crying is for losers, Sheldon!

Amy noticed the change in his expression, especially that sad twinkle in his eyes. A certain hitch in his breath drew Amy to hug him. "It's okay, Sheldon. Let it out . . ."

He said, "I'm not crying," when clearly he was. The evident attempt to stop sniffling made Amy realize that there's something beneath this. The way small hiccups blew into her ear. The way his stomach rapidly contracted. The way his unperceivable hold on her became perceivable, his arms fastening weakly on her. "I'm not crying . . ." he defended again in a slur.

Amy pulled him away from her and started wiping the tears off his face using her mittens. "We won't tell anyone that you cried."

"Because I didn't." He still defended himself even though snot came out of his nose and his eyes a tinge of red.

"Who cried?" Amy asked innocently, winking as she chuckled lightly. "And this is why I told what I said last night. I can see that you are changing."

He groaned gruffly yet weak. "For the last time, I am not. I just do things differently."

She chuckled again, holding her palms up to assure Sheldon. "Okay, okay, let's no fight over this, please. There are things that you did these past few days that I know you wouldn't in the past."

Gazing at Amy, he sighed, defeated that he will be confessing to yet another fact. "I've got to admit, that one is true. There are things that I do now that I didn't in the past."

"Isn't that a change?"

"I'll never win with you," he said, sobbing softly. "But I don't want to call it change. I prefer to call it an evolution. A Sheldon Cooper evolution. Homo Novus 2.0 with a few approved and advantageous developments that skew in your favor."

Amy held her finger up and clarified, "In our favor."

Sheldon smiled timidly and nodded his head. "Okay. In our favor."


The anticipation was poignant as the day's snowfall.

Before they left the creek, he greeted Amy a happy birthday. Mainly because he sort of forgot it after last night's festivities and his snot-riddled morning outside. A kiss on the lips and he and Amy were swooning as they returned to the cabin, garnering weird looks from her family. They must have thought we had sex! Who does public sex, and in winter, no less?!

After a hearty meal of pancakes and authentic maple syrup at a local diner, Amy couldn't contain her excitement. She can see Sheldon cooped up on the other side of Sunny's car seat, waiting to acquire any intel from anyone other than Amy.

The truth was, Amy asked all of them to keep the secret under wraps. It was her birthday, but she wanted to surprise Sheldon by not telling him where they were going. She knew he would be adamant about accepting it but experiencing the changes he'd been displaying had renewed her beliefs.

Most of her birthdays were spent with either Frank or her parents. After her Columbia stint last year, she went straight away to New Hampshire to celebrate her birthday and the holidays.

It wasn't as exciting as this year's but spending the whole day with animals in Dee's workplace with Frank and Sunny was something she will cherish. And for the holidays, well, the location where they will be going was where they spent Christmas last year.

They arrived after thirty minutes of driving. She couldn't tell if Sheldon was exhilarated or his face was a manifestation of pure horror.

"Are you okay?" she asked in concern as Sheldon gazed out at the snowy slopes pouring upon the mountain. It was a Wednesday, which meant that not a lot of people will be skiing that day. She handed him Frank's ski jacket and pants that her brother gladly lent for him.

"We're going skiing?" He slowly stared at Amy, beaming at him in delight. The redness in his eyes had dissipated when he took a nap in the car.

"Yes! It's good that you get to tag along. Frank only bought lift tickets enough for the four of us. Good thing he managed to get one for you too."

"Isn't that dangerous?" He swallowed hard after seeing the enticing but dubious scenery.

"It's only dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Plus, if you do something dangerous, it will definitely backfire."

"This is my first time skiing," he whispered, following Amy as they neared the reception area.

"I believe you."

"Once my parents brought us to Santa Fe and we went somewhere similar to this. Missy and I were 3 and was only allowed the snowboard for kids. And it's not that exciting because the snowboard was barely moving. I could have applied all my physics knowledge in that experience but my father was having none of it."

"I'm sure you will apply all the complex physics understanding that you have right there," Amy said as she pointed on his temple.

The adventure went on for about 5 hours. Sheldon's first ride on the ski lift, he was accompanied by Frank and Sunny, as Amy and Dee rode in front of them. Frank taught him how to properly disembark on the lift while wearing skis, letting your feet parallel to the ground so that when it touches, you just let the lift push you away from it. The thought of it frightened him but seeing how calm Sunny and Frank were encouraged him to trust them.

A few lessons were taught to him and Amy. For Amy, it was only the refresher she needed, and she was ready. Sheldon needed to learn from the basics. How to use his skis to stop, how to use his ski poles properly, how ski poles are not that important but you need to hold on to them anyway, not leaning back and forward too much, bending your knees when you lean forward and by doing that apparently increases your speed.

For the first ride down, they all went together. Sunny led the pack with her no ski poles expertise, followed by Frank and Dee, and then it was him and Amy behind them. Another lesson he learned was to keep distance to whoever you're with. Fortunately, they were on a beginner slope, and Amy quickly slowed down and steered away from him, avoiding an ill-fated collision.

It took one more ride before Sheldon could grasp everything he'd been taught. By the third try, he confidently used his ski poles once, a look of delight beneath his reflective goggles was the thing Amy witnessed, warming her heart.

As the day progressed, Sheldon became more confident with himself, even asking Sunny into a race. Being ten times heavier than Sunny, he lost the race with a smile and congratulated and even promised Sunny some ice cream, which she gladly accepted even though it was ironic for the season.

They moved to another beginner slope but a little bit steeper and longer than the first. This time, he noticed how Amy was so serious but also enjoying it, very different when he first met her. She was stiff and emotionless back then. He knew from the fact that her display in the past was Amy's defense mechanism against any stranger. It was assuring to know that what Amy was displaying in this trip was the face of someone who's comfortable with her companions. He's glad to be one of them.

The first three hours went by quickly. By then, they were starving and decided to stop by a strategically placed cafe at the peak. While they were waiting, Amy pointed out a historic building at the foot of the mountain.

"Sheldon, look over there," she said, pointing at a red-roofed building displaying its colossal architecture.

"What is that?" He squinted his eyes. The snow glare had partially made his eyes blurry.

"That's the hotel where they signed the Bretton Woods agreement."

He widened his eyes. "Oh . . . I didn't know it was here. That's impressive." Both Amy and the hotel were impressive. He didn't know Amy could dethrone him as the king of facts, she's now the queen of facts. He barely had any knowledge about New Hampshire other than its flag, being one of the 13 colonies, and Alan Shepard's birthplace.

"Constructed at the turn of the 20th century. The mountain behind that is the highest in New England. Your arrival is very unfortunate. There is a biodiesel train that ascends the mountain starting in springtime," she said nonchalantly, a sly grin forming on her mouth.

He quickly stared at his companions as the word 'train' rang in his ears. "Wait, what? A train? Like the locomotive. Oh, Amy, you should've started my New Hampshire visit with that factoid!" he shrieked in excitement.

Amy quickly retrieved her phone from her waterproof backpack. She showed Sheldon everything she'd done in New Hampshire for the past 3 months. Amy showing the train that travels up the mountain elicited a shrill from him. Much more when Amy showed him another train trip, this time, along the banks of a certain river, eliciting another reaction: a gasp as he shook Amy by the shoulders.

After much time showing photos and enjoying their light lunch, they spent another 2 hours on the ski resort.

A little over 4 in the afternoon, they were on the road again. This time really off to celebrate Amy's birthday through an old-fashioned dinner, only a few hours earlier because they'd want to go back to the cabin while the sun's still up.

Everybody enjoyed their respective dinners, talking over large portions of meat and tittering over hot beverages. Amy got a free slice of raspberry pie topped with vanilla ice cream, which made Sheldon jealous, so Amy shared it with him.

Having lost to a bet, Sheldon bought Sunny her choice of ice cream. "What would you like?"

"Is a sundae a type of ice cream?" Sunny asked, staring at the chalkboard.

"I believe it is," he answered.

Sunny grinned and announced, "Then I want the sundae, Uncle Sheldon!"

The sundae made him jealous again so he shamelessly bought a box of hot cinnamon rolls for later that evening.

They've arrived back to the back cabin almost 6, by then, the sky had been gloomy, almost starless. Streaks orange and red eluded the state, making a sudden transition from light to dark.

Hero welcomed them by the door, yelling for his dinner. They've played in the basement for a while. This time, Sheldon had beaten Sunny in a game of foosball, proud of his achievement. Amy played pool with her brother and sister-in-law, almost but not quite beating Dee, who apparently grew up with a bunch of pool players.

"Boy, that was exhilarating!" he said to Amy as they crossed paths in the hallway. All freshen up in their PJs, they were off to watch a movie downstairs.

Amy laughed. "It is! Be thankful that Sunny's not a sore loser or else we'd have an inconsolable child in the house."

"Haha, that's funny because an inconsolable child is never fun," he snorted.