J.J. sat anxiously waiting for Will to arrive. Spencer had taken the boys into the bedroom to play a game and she was grateful to hear music playing loud enough to hopefully muffle the impending conversation. Almost exactly at 6:30pm, there was a knock on the door. J.J. stood up and wiped her sweaty palms off on her pants.
She walked over and opened the door, smiling at Will who returned a small tight-lipped smile. She stepped aside, allowing him in.
"Do you want anything to drink?" she offered politely.
"No, I'm fine. Thank you," he said. "Sounds like a party back there."
"Oh yeah, they're playing a game," she said looking down the hallway, trying to avoid looking at him.
Will nodded as the awkward silence filled the air.
"So, they ready to go or?" Will asked.
"Yea, I just … I need to talk to you for a second," J.J. said as her pulse started racing.
"That sounds ominous," Will said eyeing her.
"I had a conversation with the boys the other day regarding Spencer and I moving in together," she began as Will shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "They were ok with it, so our hope is to get a house. Somewhere with a bit more room."
"I figured," Will said curtly.
"I know this isn't easy for you and I am so –"
"No," Will said waving his hand. "Enough with the sorrys. It is what it is, I don't want any more of your pity. I'll get over it."
"Ok, well, I also wanted you to hear this from me and not the boys or someone else," she said pausing and feeling queasy. "I'm expecting.
Will let out a humorless laugh.
"Well you two sure didn't waste a minute, did you?" he said.
"It wasn't planned –"
"You never plan anything Jen. Everything always just happens to you. You don't play a role in anything, do you?" he said angrily.
"That's not what I meant," J.J. said defensively.
"Why don't you take responsibility for the choices you make instead of acting like a victim all the time," he said as his voice rose.
"I've never played the victim!" she cried.
"You always play the victim! You didn't mean to get pregnant with Henry, you wanted to be with me but work was in the way, you didn't mean to fall in love with someone else, you didn't mean to have a child with him. Stop hiding behind your excuses and own up to the choices you've made!"
"What do you want to hear Will? What do you want from me?" she said as her hands shook furiously.
"I want you to stop this bullshit of oh I'm so sorry I left you Will. I'm so sorry that I got pregnant after barely three months of being with him. Just own it!"
"I do own it! I'm having Spencer's child and I'm happy about it! More than I ever was when it was yours!" she yelled.
"And there it is! The truth!" he shouted back. "Let it out Jen! Hit me with it!"
"The truth is I always felt like you forced me to be with you. You showed up at my job and told everyone I was pregnant without my permission. You guilted me into feeling like I had to be with you. You made me feel like I had to build the family you wanted. You never let me feel like I had a say in anything. It was always what you wanted and if you didn't get it, you pouted or threw ultimatums at me.
Now I make my own choices and I chose Spencer and I'm finally truly happy. He makes me feel valued and important. He makes me feel like my opinion matters. He respects my privacy and my decisions," J.J. said as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry you had such a horrible life with me! I gave up everything for you! I moved here for YOU!"
"I never asked you to! You did it on your own! You never asked my opinion! You just showed up and then made me feel like an asshole for not being excited about it!"
She heard the music down the hall grow louder. She covered her mouth and looked down at the floor. Embarrassed that she had let this conversation grow so heated and nasty. She didn't want to hurt Will. That was not her intention.
She took a deep breath. "Look, I know that I am to blame for holding back all these feelings for all these years and despite my anger and resentment, it would be foolish of me to pretend that we didn't have good times together. You are an incredible father and whether we planned it or not, I don't regret it."
"Sure, sounds like you do."
"Yeah, well, I got a little riled up, but I mean it. I don't believe that you ever did any of this intentionally and I do have some fond memories of being with you. But it wasn't right, and I know you know in your heart it's true. We both deserve better than what we were giving each other. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but I hope you find someone like I have and realize that this was for the best."
They both stood silently in the middle of the apartment not looking at one another. Finally, Will took a deep breath and stood a bit taller.
"I hope so too," was all he could say.
"I'll get the boys," she said awkwardly.
He nodded as she walked off toward their bedroom. She pushed the door open to see Spencer trying to distract them with silly dances. Michael was laughing and dancing, but Henry was sitting on the bed with a frown.
Spencer stopped dancing and turned off the music. He was watching her with concern, while Michael ran over and gave his Mom a hug.
"Hey bug, Daddy's waiting for you. Grab your bag and head out," she said as she leaned down to give him a hug and kiss.
Michael let go of his Mom, grabbed his little Paw Patrol bag and hurried from the room. She heard him shout a greeting to Will.
"Hey bud, you ready?" J.J. said softly to Henry.
"Yea," he said sadly as he stood up.
"Hey, come here," she said holding out her arms. He walked over and placed his head on her chest as she hugged him tightly. "I know that sounded bad, but everything is going to be ok. I promise. Your Dad and I were just a little angry at one another. It's ok to feel that way sometimes, but we will resolve it, just like we always do. And most importantly, we both love you and Michael."
Henry nodded his understanding as J.J. let him go and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Henry grabbed his bag and walked out of the bedroom. Once she heard the door to the apartment open and close, she plopped down onto Henry's bed and burst into tears.
Spencer walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. He didn't say anything, figuring she just needed to sort through her feelings on her own. She'd open up once she felt better.
Eventually, he felt her calm down a little and her crying subsided.
"Why don't you go lay down for a bit. I'll make some dinner," he offered.
J.J. nodded as he helped her stand up. He guided her to the bedroom and tucked her in before placing a kiss on her temple.
"I love you," he said softly.
She rolled over and placed her hands on his cheeks. Her face was swollen, and her eyes were exhausted, but he still saw the love in them.
"I love you too and thank you for always being there for me," she said as tears welled in her eyes again.
"Always," he replied with a chaste kiss. "Now, get some rest. I'll come get you in a bit."
J.J. rolled over and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.
(xxxxx)
A/N: thank you for the great comments! I hope it brought a little cheer to your day. Glad to hear some of you are safe and well! Hopefully all of this will end soon! Enjoy xoxo
