Chapter 25: The Volunteer

Nar Shadda.

It was a world of many names. Some creatures called it the land of opportunity. Other creatures called it the last stop of the desperate soul. The Hutts called it necessary saw it as place where they could carry out their business without disrupting their lives on Nal Hutta, the world that Nar Shadda orbited.

To Keera Lylos, now called Darth Avaryss, it was a world she had never hoped to see again.

The young Dark Lord frowned.

Nar Shadda had been one of the first planets that her master had sent her to during her training. She and her crew had spent that trip trying to protect a droid head from several of the moon's most unsavory elements.

Now, she was forced to return again, to investigate the name that the captain she had interrogated had given her. According to the now dead pirate, the go-between that had hired them to attack the Sith's water shipment was based here.

And because of that, she thought glumly, once again I must wade into this neon draped cesspit of a world. I must find this go-between and make him talk.

It would be a most interesting job to be sure.

Of course, there were advantages to going on this journey. It would give her a chance to clear her head, to get away from the politics and games that was her homeworld.

It was also a chance to get away from Ro, to put some distance between them, and that was not a bad thing. The fact that he had deduced who she was had left her…shaken.

She needed time to clear her head, to regroup.

Killing the filth that called Nar Shadda home might be just what she needed.

It would be a chance to forget about Ro for a while, to forget the attraction she felt every time he looked at her.

These…desires…they left her…unsettled…puzzled.

She frowned.

I thought I dealt with this long ago.

I thought that this part of my past was no longer a factor.

Now might be a good time to try and contact Fenn, she thought to herself, yes she had decided not to, but that was before Avaryss had all but vanished from her consciousness. Her dream friend might be just what she needed now, a reminder of the things she truly wanted for herself...

The thought made her smile, but that smile died just as quickly as it sprang.

No, the darkness within whispered, you do not have time for that now. You still have a mission to complete, a world to save.

You do not need Fenn, and that cute smile of his distracting you from what needed to be done.

Forget about love for now, focus on your duty.

She nodded grimly.

Yes, she thought.

I still have a mission to complete.

She needed to go to Nar Shadda.

IOI

She had decided not to use the Emperor's Wisdom on this journey. The relationship between the Empire and the Hutts was not the best right now. The slugs had tried to reawaken their own Empire recently, they had tried and failed. Their scheme had involved them trying to lay claim to a valuable resource that the Sith had desperately needed. Marr had dispatched the Emperor's Wrath to deal with it. She had managed to both preserve the planet, and defeat the Hutts, and by doing so, won a major victory for both the Empire and the Cabal.

The slugs could have considered that a breach of treaty, but they hadn't. The galaxy continued to spin, but no one could deny that matters between the two powers were…tense.

Keera decided not to risk provoking the Hutts any further. A smaller combat vessel entering Hutt space would not attract the attention that a fully armed destroyer would.

The Fury class interceptor was a ship she was more than familiar with; it was the primary ship of choice among Sith apprentices. She had commanded one herself during her time dealing with Sy Dar Bynn and his Rogue Jedi conspiracy.

It would serve her needs just fine.

As for a crew she was bringing along two of her Oridannan volunteers, she wanted the story of what was about to happen to circulate through the ranks of both the peacekeepers and the soldiers that defended Oridanna. She wanted her people to understand the length she was willing to go to protect their home.

It was the best way to keep building on the foundation that she created.

Beric had not been happy with her choice. He felt it better that they descend on Nar Shadda in force. He had been equally hesitant when she informed him she intended to carry out this mission alone.

"I'm not going to fight," she informed him, "I merely wish to converse with the go-between that the rebels used to hire the pirates that attacked Pholis."

"And if he decides he does not wish to talk?" her brother had inquired.

Keera grinned.

"Then I shall ask again…more forcefully."

She did not need to elaborate further.

He knew how "forceful" she could be when she wanted something.

He insisted that she allow him to come with her, him and Xen. It was their job to keep her safe, and he did not like the thought of his little sister alone on Nar Shadda.

Keera had smiled at that.

Dear Ric, she thought.

My sweet brother.

She was grateful they had been alone for that conversation; it had made what she wanted so much easier. She had thrown her arms around Beric, embracing as she had wanted to do for so very long.

Avy had always against showing any affection for him. She had been afraid that it would be noticed and that her enemies would come to see Beric as a weak link, a lever that they might exploit

It had been frustrating for Keera, Beric was her last living relative; she loved him, and only now was she finally free to show it.

As she felt his strong arms wrap around her, returning the embrace she smiled.

It had been far too long.

"What…what are you doing?" he asked, he sounded confused.

"Can I not show that I love my big brother?" she inquired, "It is not like anyone is around to see."

She heard him chuckle.

"Okay," he said, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Lord Avaryss?"

She tensed at his question.

She feared that in that moment Avy would come roaring back, that she would be furious; furious enough that she might even attack Beric.

It did not happen…luckily.

Her mind reminded her own.

Is it truly over, Keera wondered?

Had she won?

Was Avy really gone…?

…Or was she simply hiding, lying in wait?

She decided not to worry her brother. She gave him a small, shy smile.

"I've been dealing with a lot lately," she said to him, giving him no clue of her current worries, "It…it has made me reconsider some past choices."

She shrugged.

"I'm trying to be a better person."

Her brother smiled.

"Then I wish you luck then," he said, "May you become the person that you have always wanted to be."

She almost laughed at that.

The person she had always wanted to be?

She was not quite sure who that person was?

For the longest time she had been so focused on becoming a Lord of the Sith, but once she had done that, she had discovered it was not quite what she expected. She had been forced to make so many choices, so many compromises.

The thought of some of them made her blood boil.

She had gone too far more than once.

She would not do that again.

She found herself thinking about Darth Feer, what she had done to stay close to him, how many times she had let him punish her, try to break her down.

She was done with that.

The old Hutt spawn will never sit the Imperial throne, she thought, If it was the last thing she did she would destroy him before he ever got the chance.

Even if it means losing your chance to sit there, the darkness within whispered.

Is that truly the way of the Sith?

She could not say for sure. She had had a vision once of ascending to the seat of the Emperor, of ruling a unified galaxy not just as the Sith Empress, but as sovereign of a unified galaxy, the first true Galactic Empire.

Helping Feer might have been the first step to achieving that goal.

But it would not have worked, Keera thought, there is always another angle with my master, there is always a hook. After my victory over Terrog, I should have been named lord of all of his holdings, but he had not done that, he denied me my rightful place, divided what should have been mine among lesser servants, people like Sadi, people that are not fit to sit on the various thrones that should have been mine.

She pursed her lips.

The road of the Sith was not an easy one to walk.

Nothing is given in this life, she thought, power is never surrendered, it must be taken, ripped from the still grasping hands of a dying master.

A shiver ran down her spine.

Perhaps it was time for Darth Feer to get on with the dying.

She backed away from Beric, wishing that he could see the change in her, the desire to finally avenge their family. No more games, just the justice that they deserved, a justice long denied.

She hoped that he would welcome it as much as she.

"The fewer people that know about this trip the better," she informed him, "I need you and Xen to keep matters rolling back on Oridanna. Bleez and Dym will aid you. Make sure that Sadi does not jeopardize what I'm building, if she makes any audacious moves, contact me immediately on holo communicator."

Her brother nodded, he was still not happy, but she sensed that he was willing to see sense.

Praise the Emperor.

"Okay," he said, "I'll do my best."

"That is all that I ever asked, Ric," she said starting to back away.

Again, through the Force she felt his hesitation, his worry.

She sighed.

She was not going to get out of this without making some concessions.

Fine, she thought.

I will bring help.

"I will take Holli along if it makes you feel better. It has been too long since I used her real talents."

Keera smiled.

"It will likely come in very handy."

He nodded; he seemed okay with that choice.

"Just be careful," he said, "Our people still need you. If something were to happen, who would stand up and help save our home world?"

Keera nodded.

She was grateful for his confidence in her.

She would do her best not to disappoint him.

IOI

"Sorry to drag you away from your duties here, Lujayne," Keera said as the two made their way to the hangar bay.

She smiled at the changeling, her face might have been hidden by her mask, but Holli would no doubt hear the affection in her voice.

"I need someone that I can trust on this one."

"It is no problem, my lord," Holli assured her with an eager smile, "It has been too long that I got to play the engineer again, being an officer is all well and good, but…"

Her friend chuckled.

"Just let me get a bit of engine grease beneath my fingernails again and I will be super fine."

Keera chuckled.

She and Holli were not that different after all.

Command was all well and good, but there was something satisfying about handling matters yourself.

Both of them understood that, and had missed it to some degree.

As they emerged into the hangar they saw the Fury class interceptor just finishing its final approach. The ship fired its docking thrusters as it settled gently down onto the deck. Seeing the ship brought back many memories for Keera, they may have technically been Avy's memories, but that did not take away the deep connection she felt for seeing the familiar looking ship.

It was not her original ship of course, that one was currently in the hands of her servant Thranton Rink, but it was still a fury, and seeing it again made her remember the joys of a simpler time, before her life as a Darth had taken away some of the freedoms she had enjoyed as just another Sith Apprentice.

She missed being able to flit about the galaxy, answerable to no one but her master. Being a Darth was nice and all, but a lot of strings went with it.

It would be nice to be rid of those…for a while at least.

"The sub light engines sounded a little rough," Holli said with a hint of a frown, "I'll take a look at them as soon as we enter hyperspace; make sure their purring like a felinx before we reach our destination."

"Do what you think is necessary," Keera said, "I don't expect any problems, but…why take the chance."

She nodded.

It never hurt to be prepared.

The loading ramp hissed steam as it lowered, the ship's flight crew emerged. Keera had asked for volunteers from among her Oridannan allies. Both men wore the uniform of her home world's security force. She recognized the first only in passing, but the second…

She frowned.

What in the name of the Emperor was this?

"Lieutenant Wilkes," she called out trying to hide her disbelief.

"Isn't this a surprise?"

Roan Wilkes smiled at her.

"You did ask for volunteers, my lord," he reminded her with a shrug.

"Well…I volunteered."

She and Holli approached them. Keera cursed silently under her breath, grateful once again for the fact that the mask hid her features.

He just had to do this, didn't he?

He just had to?

She sized her old friend up; she had not even realized that he could fly a starship.

"I trust that you can handle this type of vessel," she said coolly, "It is not the type of ship trusted to amateurs."

He chuckled.

"Have no fear on that point, my lord. I'm fully trained and certified to fly most of the Empire's light vessels, from Interceptors like this one all the way down to our Starfighters."

His smile brightened.

"Magistrate Hissa insisted that at least some of our forces were trained to do so, it is a dangerous and uncertain galaxy. It never hurts to be prepared."

Keera's eyes narrowed.

Had she known about such training she would never have asked for volunteers. She had hoped to use this mission to give herself some distance between herself and Ro.

Now they would be travelling together. The thought made her gut twist nervously.

It was hard to avoid someone onboard a fury, it was a very small ship.

Being in such close quarters…it could make things…uncomfortable.

Still she refused to show any weakness. She was the lord here, not him.

She would not be intimidated by her past.

"I had not realized that Hissa had taken such an interest in expanding the knowledge of our security forces," she said.

"I take it you are impressed?" he asked.

She frowned.

"I do not impress easily," she replied.

His smile morphed into that familiar smirk she remembered, the one that he had given her more than once in the last year they had known each other, that look of interest that had always made her heart flutter.

She tried to ignore it.

"Trust me, my lord," he said, "You will be most pleased with my…performance."

She sneered at the weakly veiled attempt to flirt with her.

You can turn off the charm, Ro, she thought.

I'm immune.

"Satisfy me," she told him, "Then we shall talk about your…performance."

She moved past him and into the ship. Holli remained at her side. Ro and his co-pilot followed after them.

Keera frowned.

She just realized what she had said, and how someone like Ro might have misunderstood it.

Satisfy me; then we shall talk about your performance?"

She winced.

It had not sounded so…suggestive in her head, but now that the words were out there.

A shiver ran down her spine.

She had not meant to say something so…so…

She shook her head.

Damn it!

What the hell am I doing?

"Is everything okay, my lord?" Holli asked.

"You seem tense."

Keera stood a little straighter.

"I'm fine, Holli," she said.

"Everything is fine."

Except for the fact that Ro and I are going to be shut up together on this ship together for several hours. It will be very hard to avoid him. I will need to stay in my quarters.

Keera took another shuddering breath.

They still needed to talk, but was she ready to do this now?

It was not really a good time.

Her indecision was both frustrating and annoying.

Why was being here such a big problem?

What the hell was the matter with her?

She was a Dark Lord of the Sith, damn it!

She would not be intimidated, not by Ro Wilkes, not by anyone!

The past was in the past.

She would let it go.

IOI

They were several hours out when she finally sensed his presence. After providing him with the coordinates for Nar Shadda she had left him to his own devices. She had gone to the officer's quarters and shut herself in even before they had made had made the jump to hyperspace.

She had to admit the transition had been smooth; there had been barely a bump as the two Oridannans got them underway. Holli was even now back in the engine compartment, taking a look at the sub lights so that they would be ready when they finally made the transition back to real space.

Keera had settled down on the floor of her quarters and meditated. She still had no idea what awaited them on the Smuggler's Moon, she needed to be sharp when they finally arrived. Her thoughts needed to be clear, her anger and rage sharpened like a stiletto.

She tried to focus on the mission, but every time she tried, Ro's face seemed to appear in her thoughts.

Damn it, she thought.

Damn that man!

She had tried to get some sleep, but when she tried the nightmares were waiting for her. She dreamt of the night her family had died; only this time she could hear a voice calling out to her from the fires. A voice telling her that she was "almost there," and that "she needed to come home."

She managed only about an hour of actual sleep, and finally, realizing that anymore was impossible, rose and turned back to meditation. She would not allow her personal weaknesses to affect her mission.

The Force would both restore and refresh her mind.

She would be ready by the time they made planet fall.

The ship, now moving through hyperspace, would not need a pilot's attention until they were finally ready to emerge. This meant that Ro had some time on his hands.

She frowned.

He was now approaching her quarters; she could sense him, and his emotions.

She was not sure what to make them.

He seemed nervous, but she was used to that, few would say it was wise to disturb a dark lord's meditations, but that was not what he was concerned about.

What she was sensing had nothing to do with the dark lord she had become. Ro was focusing entirely on the girl she had been. Ro's thoughts were full of images of Keera Lylos, of their time together before her life took her down the dark path.

What does he think is going to happen? She wondered.

What does he want from me?

She found herself wishing that she had the talent of Force persuasion. It would be so much easier if she could make Ro forget who she was by simply a wave her hand and a few words. Sadly, her talents had always lain elsewhere. Her lightning, Sith magic, and telekinesis would do her little here. She could plant nightmares into someone's head with a spell, but what it came to making them simply forget…she had no way to do that.

A Sith curse escaped her lips.

The Force had a funny sense of humor sometimes.

She felt his presence outside her quarters; she could feel his hesitation as he stood outside her door. His hand was up, prepared to knock, but again he hesitated.

He wanted to see her, to speak with her, but at the same time…he was afraid, and it had nothing to do with her being a Sith.

His weakness should have sickened her, but it did not. If anything it was…comforting.

It was nice to know that she was not the only one troubled by this, by what had come before.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

She was still armed and armored, her mask and helmet still hid her features. That fact comforted her.

What was about to happen would be a battle of sorts.

She felt safer going in fully armored.

She gestured towards the door; it hissed open, surprising Ro, making him jump back.

She smiled.

So the first point goes to me, she thought.

Good.

"Come forth, Ro," she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Trust me, I don't bite."

He entered her quarters, his hands behind his back. The nervousness she had felt when he stood outside her door remained, but now that he was here he had full control over it. His will held it in check

That level of control impressed her; most mundanes lacked the discipline to hold their emotions in check.

She was pleased to see that he could.

He has full control over his fear, she thought, what he is feeling now is not about fear, it is a need to connect, a hope that there is more here than what she was willing to show.

Her mouth felt very dry in that moment.

"Hi," he said, trying to hold her gaze.

She did not rise, she simply watched him from behind the safety of her mask.

"Hello, Ro," she said, trying to keep her voice cool and even.

"Do you need something?"

He took a deep breath and centered himself.

"You…you said we should talk," he reminded her.

He shrugged.

"I have time, if you do?"

You can say no, the darkness reminded her, you can tell him to go back to the cockpit and leave you in peace.

I could, she thought, but I won't.

She pursed her lips.

She would not remain a prisoner to this.

She would deal with it now.

The past had too much of a hold on her.

The time had come to free herself.

Through victory my chains are broken.

She would no longer be bound by these chains.

She refused.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" she inquired, "You may not like what you are about to hear?"

He shrugged.

"I'm used to hearing things that I don't like," he said, "It is a big part of my job."

"Maybe you should find a new one," she said dryly, "Some answers can be…painful."

Ro's brow furrowed, his features took on that stubborn look she remembered from their childhood days.

"Can you take that thing off," he said, "I already know what is under there. You don't need it."

"Direct aren't you," she chuckled, "You are in here only a few moments and you are already asking me to undress."

She had expected him to stammer, to be embarrassed and retreat. He did not, he held his ground.

"Take off the mask, Keera," he said, "You don't need it, not around me."

She sighed.

"And what do you think you will see if I do?"

"The face of the girl I…I…"

She tilted her head slightly.

"The face of the girl you…what?"

The girl I knew," he added, "the one that I grew up with."

He stood a little straighter.

"I want to see the face of Andur and Mya Lylos' daughter."

She tilted her head.

"Aren't you afraid that the face beneath this mask is not what you remembered? Perhaps I'm horribly scarred beneath this mask? Perhaps the dark side has left me a shadow of what I once was; perhaps I look like a grey skinned misshapened monster under this mask?"

"Do you," he asked, "Is that what you look like?"

She shrugged.

"Some Sith would consider me ugly? They would see my features as a reflection of weakness. Are you sure that you want this? Do you really want to see my face?"

"Yes," he said no hesitation.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded.

"Please, Keera," he said.

"No more hiding, no more games."

She sighed.

"You will be disappointed."

She raised her hands, hitting the release catches on her mask.

What are you doing? The darkside whispered.

Killing the past, she thought, freeing myself.

Keera sighed as she lifted the helmet from her head, and sat it on the deck before her. She said nothing as Ro took in her features for the first time since they had last parted almost five years ago.

"Not a pretty sight is it?" she said gesturing to her face.

Ro did not answer, he…he just kept looking.

She frowned.

What was he doing?

She could see her face reflected in the mirror in the corner, what she saw did not please her.

It was not the face of a Darth; that was for certain.

The healthy glow of her skin, her nose freckled like the farm girl she had been almost half a decade ago. the slight pink of her cheeks, the color rising thanks to Ro's regard, not to mention her eyes, the dark purple a mix of the blue eyes that she had been born with and the crimson left by the damage done during her integration after the death of Fehl.

What would Ro say about that, she wondered, would he think less of her knowing that she had been so easily caught by her masters, or would pity her for her loss, the damage that had been done?

He could no doubt see the implants in her ears, the sonic bafflers that compensated for the damage done to her hearing. How about her arm? Red durasteel and crystal was not the same as flesh and blood, she had been maimed, crippled, cybernetics did not change that.

Her eyes narrowed.

Surely he could see the signs of her weakness? Another Sith certainly would, surely seeing what she had become would make him realize that he needed to turn away, forget the past.

I'm not the girl you remember, she thought, I'm something far worse than anything she could have been.

She glared at him.

There, you have seen my face, now go, she wanted to shout.

There is no reason for you to leer at the signs of my weakness.

She expected Ro to flee, to understand that she was not the same girl she had been. That he would let go of the past, and move on.

He did not.

She sensed no pity, no revulsion in his gaze, she sensed…happiness?

No…that was not it, it was too small a word.

She shifted uncomfortably.

Hope, she realized, that is what she was feeling.

He never gave up hope, she realized, he somehow knew that I wasn't dead, he did not accept it, not in his heart.

Now…that he sees my face, realizes that it is truly me.

She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

What are you staring at, she wanted to shout.

What do you want from me?!

"Well," she said, "Say something."

Ro smiled, she felt only warmth, desire and need.

It made her…uncomfortable.

"Hey stranger," he said, "It has been a long time."

Keera Lylos sighed.

Why did he have to say something like that?

"Your eyes are different."

"I know," she hissed, "they are hideous."

"He shook his head no.

"They suit you," he purred.

You are beautiful."

Despite her desire to let the past end, to move on, Keera blushed, she could not help it, she looked away unable to meet his gaze.

Damn you, Roan Wilkes, she thought.

Damn you.