Author's Note: Gosh, it has been a LONG time since I've updated. This fanfic has been on my mind a lot lately as I've constantly struggled with how I should end this story, and I think I've finally reached a decision after about ten years. I started this fanfic back in 2010 and here it is 2020. I'm a bit ashamed it's taken me so long to work on this, but I haven't been in the Bleach fandom for a long time. I've started a new career path, found new inspirations, started new projects, etc. That being said, I never intended to leave this story unfinished. Ideally, I'll have it wrapped up in the next chapter or two. I'm not going to leave you guys hanging like I did last time! You'll get your ending in the upcoming months, and that's a promise. I'd like to eventually go back and do a major overhaul in editing, but I'll wait until the story has been completed before I tackle that project.
For those of you that have been following this fanfic throughout the past ten years, thank you for sticking with me. Every time one of you has added me to their favorite story/author lists or every review you have left has given me the inspiration to keep writing. For those of you that have only recently found my story, I'm glad you took the time to read through this fanfic. I always appreciate feedback.
And without further ado...Here's the next chapter!
There was nothing Ichigo Kurosaki could do to save his friend. Anytime he tried to get close to her and the monster that had heartlessly slain before his very eyes, Aizen blocked his path, reminding him that their fight was far from over. "INOUE!" He kept choking out in between the blows Aizen had dealt him, hoping his voice would reach her despite the powerful blasts of raw energy that Aizen kept pounding into him. It was impossible for him to focus on a battle after witnessing someone close to him have their heart ripped out from their chest, but he had no choice but to deal with his enemy first.
"I'm going to kill you, Aizen!" The Vizard shouted, rage filling in his heart. "And then I'm going to kill Ulquiorra for taking Inoue from me!"
As if he hadn't just been a part of the deadly brawl, Ulquiorra was simply standing there casually, an empty expression on his face as he gazed down at the lifeless redhead by his feet. He had shoved his arm through her heart, hoping to do away with the nuisance that had tried getting in his way, and he had dragged out her pumping heart once he withdrew his arm back. Blood coated his fingers as the organ pulsed in his palm, and he was fascinated by how warm it felt against his touch. He watched it beat a few more times before it ceased all movement, growing completely still and heavy in his grasp.
"I know what this is," he said to no one in particular. While his voice was flat and void of emotion, his eyes flickered with interest. "It's a heart." As soon as the words escaped his lips, fragments of memories began to ripple through his mind, reminding him of conversations and voices that he had once known. These bits and pieces of memories were not from when he was a human, he noticed, but occurred during his life as an Arrancar.
The first voice he recognized was his own, and soon he was able to hear a full, complete sentence in his head as if he was suddenly being tossed back in time, forced to relive scenes from his past.
"What is a heart? If I rip open your chest, will I find it there? If I crack open your skull, will I find it there?"
So he knew the girl who's heart he had just ripped out. At first, he couldn't recall specific details about her; just that he had taken her from her home and locked her up in a prison cell in a place he had once called his home—Las Noches.
The beast shook his head as more images crashed against his mind, this time with an intense ferocity that made his legs quiver. He kept seeing the girl's face over and over, and he could recall the way her silver eyes lit up at the mention of food, or how she could easily be brought to tears by the mention of her "friends".
All at once he could remember her name. It was a name he had found himself saying over and over for the past few months, a name he couldn't believe he had forgotten until now.
Orihime Inoue.
He remembered how insistent she was with teaching him about what it meant to care for another being like yourself. She had tried to teach him about the human world, from the songs they sang to the foods they ate, and he remembered drinking up every word she told him. He had always been a nihilist, always been someone without a need or care for sentimentality, but she had opened a whole new world for him as she helped him understand what the heart was.
"You must forget about your previous life. There is no hope of you ever returning back to your home. You live only to serve Aizen-sama. To make matters easier on yourself, you should forget all about your friends and any memories you possess of them." It took a lot of will power to keep himself from lashing out at her with a callous tone. Luckily, he managed to keep himself calm as they continued to walk. His words must have affected her in some way since the girl was dead silent.
In fact, she was too silent.
The Espada glanced over at the girl only to notice that she looked as if she was about to burst into tears. The scene caught him by surprise as he felt a slight pang in his chest. Why did she look so sad?
"Woman," he stopped in his tracks for a moment as he continued to hook his emerald orbs upon her watery gray eyes.
"Why are you so mean?" the ginger haired girl asked in a hushed tone, a solemn frown imprinted on her face.
"Woman, I am only here to bring you the truth. If you cannot handle it then that is your own fault," Ulquiorra replied coldly, returning his marble-like hand to his pocket. He then turned his back to her as he once again made his way down the long, narrow hallway.
"Memories of my friends are the only thing that keeps me going. If I didn't have their smiling faces constantly plastered in my mind, then there would be no way I'd be able to survive without losing my sanity," the girl admitted grudgingly as she turned her eyes away from him, no longer wanting to meet his steely gaze.
"I'm not here to comfort you by filling your mind with lies. The only thing that comes from my mouth is the pure truth," the Espada calmly answered. Humans were so difficult to deal with—especially overly emotional human girls like Orihime Inoue.
Orihime huffed slightly, folding her arms over her chest as she stared at the ground as if she was trying to burn a hole in it with her eyes, "That doesn't give you a right to say such mean things, though. And to think I was thought of us as friends…Friends are supposed to comfort each other whether or not they have to lie in order to do so."
The word friends seemed to light a spark within the Espada. His eyes widened ever so lightly as he snuck a glance at her over his shoulder. She thought of him as a friend? Perhaps his job of befriending her was a lot simpler than he thought. All he did was enchant her with fancy foods one day and occasionally converse with her. Was the recipe to a friendship truly that simplistic?
"You see us…as friends?" the young man asked, wanting to make sure he heard her right.
"Well, I did….But now you're being too mean so I'm going to reconsider our friendship!" the human grumbled before childishly sticking her tongue out at him.
He had never met someone who could go through a hundred different emotions in one day, but he had seen her break down in tears one minute before standing her ground with resolve, only to giggle in amusement mere minutes later. She had been an enigma, a mystery he could never truly solve, and he had spent months trying to understand how she, and the heart she often spoke of, worked.
The longer he held the girl's bloody heart in his hand, the more the memories started coming back to him. They overpowered the ones from his human past, and vivid images kept shoving their way into his line of his vision, forcing him to stagger backwards until he nearly collapsed to the ground.
"Are you afraid of me, woman?" Ulquiorra asked quietly as he placed a bit more pressure with his fingernail, ripping the top layer of her skin ever so lightly.
Orihime didn't even cringe as she stared up at him with hopeful eyes, "No, I'm not afraid."
Ulquiorra's hand instantly fell to his side his eyes never left hers. His eyes, however, did enlarge with the upmost surprise at the girl's response. He had just threatened her…and yet she was still unafraid of him?
"I know you'd never hurt me, Ulquiorra," the girl continued softly as she looked away from him, not wanting to meet his gaze any longer. "I know you're not just being nice to me because Aizen-sama ordered you to. I know that even though you'd never admit it, somewhere deep down inside of you, you care for me. Even if it's just a little…"
Ulquiorra found himself withdrawing from her, taking a few steps away from her slowly as if she were a deadly snake about to strike out at him. The area around his hole was burning tremendously as if he were on fire. Was the girl casting some sort of spell upon him to make him feel this way? Why did she have so much power over him?
"What if Lord Aizen ordered me to hurt you?" Ulquiorra found himself inquiring as he clenched his fist rather tightly.
Orihime brought up her arms to cover her immensely large breasts as she could detect tension filling up the room. "I think…that you would only hurt me if you knew it would somehow benefit me. You would only hurt me to save me, I think."
The girl's answer was puzzling and illogical. How could hurting someone benefit them in any way? If he were to develop any plans of saving her, hurting her wouldn't help the cause.
"What if Lord Aizen ordered me to kill you?" the Espada asked, wondering what her response would be.
The girl had to think for a second as she embraced herself securely and comfortingly, "I think…that you wouldn't do it." Although she hesitated for a moment, Ulquiorra could tell that she actually believed in what she just told him.
"And what makes you think that, woman?" Ulquiorra said as he took another step away from her. His hole was scorching hot, causing his breath to get caught up in his throat for a moment. He was in a tremendous amount of pain, yet he refused to let it show upon his face. "You sure are being confident for someone in a horrible position. We Arrancar are far superior to you. Lord Aizen owns you and your very existence depends on his will."
Orihime shivered lightly as her long locks fell over her shoulders, sticking to her damp flesh. "I don't know…It's just that, well, I can't believe that you don't have a heart. If you care about me somewhere deep down then I don't believe that you would be able to dispose of me should Aizen-sama order you to do so. I'm not sure exactly why I believe this…but I do."
He needed to leave. He needed to leave right at that very moment. If the girl said anything else, he might just get consumed by the pain tearing at his chest. Even so, his mind fought against his body's urges. "Tell me one more thing, woman. Should I ever strike out at your friends, would you ever strike back at me? Should I kill your beloved Ichigo Kurosaki, would you want to kill me in return?" It was very hard for him to keep the urgency out of his voice while replacing it with an impassive tone. The girl was very confusing but he knew one thing was for sure—nothing would ever stand in the way of her feelings towards her friends. The girl was merely only suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. When it all came down to it, there would be no way she would choose him over her friends or her freedom.
"That's a very hard question…" Orihime whispered as she brought her up her silver eyes to look at him. "But even if you were to ever hurt Kurosaki-kun, I could never find it in my heart to harm you."
The girl was too nice for her own good. She may claim that she would never hurt him now, but her mind would surely change should the time ever come. "And why is that, woman?" Ulquiorra questioned as his fists stiffened even more.
Orihime's heart raced even more as she found herself walking towards him. With every step she took, he took one more away from her. Orihime desperately wanted to know why he kept retreating from her but she decided against him. Ulquiorra had completely backed himself up against the stark white wall, finding his only option of escaping the girl would be to use his Espada-like speed. He wouldn't flee from her just yet—he needed to know her reasoning as to why she would refuse to lash out at him.
"I could never hurt you because…" Orihime began as she reached out her hand gently, mimicking his same motions that he did to her just moments earlier. She looked at his exposed Hollow hole from where he had unzipped his jacket earlier. "Because I love you." Her fingertips traced the outline of his empty hole tenderly and affectionately as her eyes stared at it with intensity.
No. No. No. This was all wrong! He didn't want to remember any more. He wanted to forget all about the human known as Orihime Inoue since her presence these past few months had done nothing but plague his thoughts and make him forget all about his life's true purpose.
He was the Fourth Espada and his only reason for existence was to serve Lord Aizen. He had never wanted to get close to anyone. Allowing anyone, especially a pathetic human girl like her, into his thoughts would only mean that he, too, had something powerful beating within the empty chambers of his chest.
Getting close to anyone would mean he, too, had a heart.
And that was unacceptable.
The girl stood a few inches from him as she stood on her toes, planting a small, tender kiss upon his stone hard cheek. When she pulled away, a light pink blush crossed over her cheeks, "Thank you so much for today! You've made me happier than anyone else has before. So thank you…Thank you very much!"
Ulquiorra didn't respond with anything as he quickly fled from the room, nearly slamming the door in the process. If the man was capable of blushing, his cheeks would have been redder than any rose. If his heart could beat, it would be pounding harder than any drum. If he could feel, then his soul would be soaring higher than any cloud.
Unfortunately, he was incapable of any of those things. His cheeks were unable to blush, he had no heart to pound, and his soul bared no wings for it soul.
And yet, there was something he could in fact do to make up for his lack of abilities.
His lips unconsciously began to pull into a tiny, minuscule smile.
No one was around in the hallway. No one was able to witness it, yet it was there. A small smile upon Ulquiorra Schiffer's lips was there.
The memories kept coming back one after another, each one more powerful than the last, rendering him breathless. His legs began to shake as he crumbled to his knees. The sounds of the battle nearby had been completely drowned out by the voices in his head, and for a moment he had even forgotten where he was. He was numb to the outside world, consumed by his memories with the one known as Orihime Inoue, and the pain that had been buried down with the awakening of his human past was bubbling to the service, threatening to knock his entire soul off-course.
"Are you nervous, Orihime? Or perhaps excited? Do you want me touch you?" he breathed softly into her ear as he leaned forward, enjoying the fact that more goose bumps were forming on her flesh with every passing second.
Orihime nodded slowly, a small lump forming in her throat. "Yes, yes I do…" she replied back nervously as she gazed in his enchanting jade eyes.
"Tell me what you want me to do," he answered back inaudibly, continuing to stroke her inner thighs.
Orihime could feel herself growing more and more moist between her legs as a burning desire for Ulquiorra's touch coursed through her veins. She wanted so desperately to have him satisfy that aching desire that continued to flow through her.
"I…want you to touch me, Ulquiorra-sama," Orihime responded diffidently as tore her eyes away from his intense gaze.
Orihime let out a low, frustrated groan, "But if you hadn't have tried to kidnap me in the first place, none of this would have happened!"
"I was simply following orders. To deny Lord Aizen's orders would have meant sudden death. Back then, I was too busy trying to figure out what my purpose was. If I had died at the hands of Lord Aizen at that point, I would have never found my reason for existence," the black haired male told her blandly.
Orihime continued to pout for a moment as she stared in a huff at Ulquiorra's back. "Oh yeah? And what would that reason be, hm?"
In a swift movement, Ulquiorra turned on his heels and faced the pouting woman. His emerald orbs zeroed in on her as he snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him. Leaning in close to her, the Espada placed his lips near her ear and breathed softly.
"Foolish woman," he whispered quietly as a tiny smirk appeared on his lips, "My reason for existence is you."
"The princess really has changed you, Ulquiorra. But don't get me wrong—that's not a bad thing. Ultimately, you gaining a heart will lead us to completely conquer everything and destroy all of Soul Society. The Hogyoku alone can only get us so far. I knew from the very moment that I met you that you were capable of something great. Not only are you the only Espada with a Segunda Etapa but you are also the Primera Espada in reality," Aizen explained as his lips curled back into a snarling grin.
"Primera…Espada?" Ulquiorra repeated, staring at Aizen in disbelief. Everything was happening so fast to the point where he didn't even know what to think anymore.
"Yes. You have the capability to be one of the strongest beings in existence. You just have to let go of yourself. I know all about you betraying me, Ulquiorra. You don't have to deny it. In fact, you are even forgiven of your sins against me. I put Orihime Inoue in your care because I knew she would touch your life. I knew she would touch your life just as Lisanthia did," Aizen said as he knelt down beside Ulquiorra, becoming eye level with bewildered Espada.
"Lisanthia? Who is that?" Ulquiorra asked, completely and utterly confused by Aizen's words. What on Earth was the man talking about? And why wasn't he angry with Ulquiorra? What did he mean by all the pieces were coming together? For once, he had completely misunderstood his master's initial plan. All this time he thought he had Aizen Sousuke figured out. In the end, it turns out that every single move or action Ulquiorra made, it only seemed to help Aizen more.
"You will know all in good time, my son. All I can tell you is that I cannot and will not lose as long as I have you. In return, I know that you will not abandon me. You can't abandon me. I am your god. I want you to listen very closely to what I'm going to tell you. Do you understand me, Ulquiorra? Any false move and I will slaughter the woman and your unborn child without hesitation."
The voices, the images, the memories. They kept coming and wouldn't stop, reminding him of the promise he had made to protect the girl who had shown him he had a heart of his own this entire time. More importantly the memories reminded him that he had failed her. He had given Aizen precisely what he wanted by losing control of his heart and actions, and Orihime had suffered the consequences.
His amber eyes had been closed this entire time, but they soon fluttered open, showing him the cold, soul-crushing reality of his world.
He had killed Orihime Inoue, the girl that had done nothing but bring color into his monochrome existence, with his own hands. The heart he had struggled to understand for so long was resting in his hand, so small and dedicate, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.
"Orihime…I…I'm…" He opened his mouth to speak, his voice strained and gravelly as his eyes widened a little more. Something hot stung the corners of each of his eyes before sliding down his face, tracing the outlines of the dark marks on his cheeks. With his free hand, the tips of his claws touched the dampness of his face as his vision grew mistier.
"I'm…I'm so sorry," he choked more words out as tears continued to stream down his face. "This…This is all my fault. I did this to you!"
Something began to change about his physical appearance. His long, velvet hair began to shorten in length without him touching it as his tail, claws, and horns receded. His height was brought down by a few inches as fur no longer covered the lower half of his body. The clothes he had been wearing just before he released his Resureccion the first time were back on his body, although torn and shredded by this point. He blinked a few times before the yellow coloring of his eyes returned back to their natural, emerald shade, and soon he looked just the way he did before he transformed using his Resurrecion, except for one distinct difference—he no longer had the tear stained marks on his pale cheeks. His face was solid white without any markings.
The broken Espada crumbled to his knees in front of his lover's corpse, her heart still being gently cradled in his palm. He kept repeating the words "I'm sorry" over and over, like they would magically make everything all right if he uttered them enough. He tried placing the heart back in it's place inside of the hole he had made through her chest, wondering if returning the organ to its rightful spot would somehow make her open her eyes.
It didn't.
"Orihime…Please…Please, don't leave me like this," he begged, his voice cracking with every syllable as the tears kept falling down his face. "I never wanted you to suffer…I never wanted to see you hurt…I just wanted you to smile at me forever, to let me hold you in my arms forever, but I failed you…I'm so, so sorry…"
With a hand drenched in her crimson blood, he tenderly brushed his fingers against her cheeks, wanting to feel her warmth once more but was only met with more anguish when he felt how icy her flesh was to the touch.
She was gone. The woman he loved, the woman he had sworn to protect from the moment he met her, was gone.
"Ul…Ulquiorra?"
A soft voice rang through his ears, but the Espada wasn't sure if he was just hearing the sound of another vivid memory or if the girl was actually speaking to him. He was staring at her face, hoping to see any traces of movement on her lips, but she was just as still as she was the moment she hit the sandy ground.
"Ulquiorra…It's me. Please, stop crying…"
He heard her angelic voice once again as clear as day, but it wasn't coming from her rigid corpse. It was coming from above her.
The Espada sharply turned his gaze to see the spirit of his lover hovering just above the ground to his left. She looked just like she had before she ever came to Hueco Mundo, wearing her signature school uniform that consisted of a gray, pleated skirt, a white button-down blouse, and a bright red bow around her collar. She smiled softly at him, giving him a short but awkward wave once she had his attention.
"I've never seen you cry before," she said, tucking a strange of apricot hair behind her ear. "I guess you're finally able to feel emotions freely again. It's a good thing, I think, but it makes me sad to see you cry. Can I have a smile, instead? Pretty please?"
"O-Orihime!" He choked out, jumping up to his feet. He was about to reach out and grab her, to pull her tightly into his arms, but something stopped him.
Had it not been for the metal chain that dangled from her chest, Ulquiorra might have believed she was just her normal self standing there. She looked so vibrant and as beautiful as ever, but she was just a soul now, a Plus with a Chain of Fate hanging from her chest. Her hair was pulled back in her blue hairclips, but the petals of her flower were all missing except for one. Tsubaki, a member of the Shun Shun Rikka, had perished right before Orihime was attacked, so his spirit had gone along with her while the others remained stagnant in the hair clips of her lifeless body.
The spirit's eyes fell on the bloody mess that used to be her body, and while she seemed a bit unnerved to see her heart exposed inside of her chest cavity, she didn't seem surprised.
"Oh…Um…I guess I'm dead now," she said with a forced smile before letting out a quick, awkward giggle. "I mean, everyone did warn me of what would happen if I got too close to you while you were in this state, so it's as much of my fault as anything! It's like jabbing a fork into an outlet, or running with scissors—if everyone tells you not to do it, it's your own fault if you get killed by doing it!" She was making light of the very heavy matter at hand, as was typical of Orihime to do in these type of situations, but she knew she could only make herself laugh for so long. "What I'm trying to say, Ulquiorra, is that I don't want you to blame yourself for this. Please… I don't want you to carry the guilt with you. It wasn't your fault last time either." She was referring to the time Raikuro, his human self, had accidentally killed his lover in a fit of rage. If his former lover didn't blame him for her death, then Orihime wouldn't either.
Even in death, Orihime was still thinking of others. There was no resentment on her face as she brought her gaze away from her corpse to look at the Espada she had grown to love so strongly, and she even reached out her hand to lightly touch his cheek. Although her skin didn't directly come in contact with his, Ulquiorra could still feel the heat radiating off of her fingertips, and it warmed his soul to his very core.
He didn't deserve her kindness, didn't deserve her love, but she remained as sweet as ever, refusing to allow him to carry the blame.
"This really is the best possible outcome," she reassured him. "You're back! You're no longer out of control with yourself. You finally know the truth about your human past, and you're finally able to let go through the emotions that you had kept locked away for so long. The past won't hold you back any longer…You're free."
He shook his head, unable to see how any of this could have possibly been for the best. "But Orihime! You…You're—"
"Dead, yes. We already established that," the gentle-natured spirit giggled before she placed both hands on her hips, her expression suddenly growing serious. "But that's not important right now! What's important is that you go help Kurosaki-kun take down Aizen now. He needs you, Ulquiorra." Her eyes looked past him, over to where the battle between Ichigo and Aizen was still taking place. Both men were giving it their all, determined to take each other down, no matter what the cost. Ichigo was the type of person who was willing to sacrifice his own life if it meant beating his enemy, and she could see that he really didn't have much to offer at this point except his life at this point. He was struggling to keep up with Aizen's strength and had sustained more injuries than his body could handle. He couldn't take much more.
Ulquiorra's eyes had followed her gaze, understanding what she meant. If Aizen emerged victorious, everything they had fought to protect would have meant nothing. Orihime's death would have been in vain and the world would be plunged into chaos. He was no longer a slave to his master's commands, and the only way for him to fix the mistakes he had made was to help Ichigo Kurosaki put a stop to him.
"Please help him," she pleaded in a soft voice. "Please… We can't let things end this way."
He turned to look at her again, eyes full of raw, overwhelming sorrow, as he lightly touched the chain that held her spirit captive.
"I'll be fine, Ulquiorra…Maybe someday, in the far-off future, we'll meet again in Soul Society. Maybe they'll even let me join the ranks as a Soul Reaper! Wouldn't that be cool?" That usual goofy grin crept its way along her face again, but Ulquiorra couldn't bring himself to smile.
"I'll help, too," said another voice from beside the couple.
Ulquiorra hadn't noticed Gin Ichimaru watching them until now, and he nodded his head in acknowledgement. It would be a battle of three against one, and now that Ulquiorra was in control of himself again, he was confident the fight would be over quickly.
"All right," Ulquiorra said as he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. He had gone centuries without shedding a single tear, and a part of him felt relieved to know that he once again had the ability to free his emotions. Never again would he hold himself back from what he was feeling, and this time, his emotions would be his strength and not his weakness.
Just before he and his comrade set off to join the fight, Ulquiorra cast one final look at his lover's floating soul. Why did this feel like it would be the last time he ever saw her again? Trying not to think about it, he forced a smile on his face. While his soul was aching on the inside, he refused to let it show on his face, for her sake.
"Let's end this once and for all. And, once it's over, I'll see you again, Orihime."
"I'll be waiting," she smiled back, but this time with tears streaming down her cheeks like raindrops during a storm.
