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Chapter Twenty-Six

Bella

My morning started off as normal. I woke up at seven to my alarm, took a shower, and dressed in my favorite pair of yoga pants and a baggy sweater. That was the best thing about my job - it didn't matter what I wore, as long as it was comfortable and I didn't mind if it got covered in mud and horse manure. I checked in on Noah to see that he was still sleeping soundly. It was the weekend and Noah had no real reason to wake up just yet, so I decided to leave him until he was ready to start the day.

Buzz and Zucko greeted me enthusiastically when I entered the kitchen; I wasn't sure if they were happy to see me, or just excited for some food. If I know my dogs as well as I think I do, then it was probably the latter. With the dogs fed and let out into the yard, I started brewing the coffee for when Alice and Jasper arrived. We had all been working over time - Jasper and I hadn't had a day off in over three weeks - and until I had the extra staff, I needed their help to get things sorted. Charlie offered his help, and I was tempted to take him up on it.

They arrived at precisely eight o'clock as planned and settled at my breakfast bar for our 'meeting'. Our coffees were ready and I even plated up some of the muffins that I had made yesterday. With no-one else to look after Corin, it only made sense to relay everything to Edward about the meeting later when he came to work, instead of having him wake his daughter up so early in the morning.

"Jay," I started, and opened my notebook that I had scribbled everything into. "Edward will do your shift tomorrow and as long as everything is done by twelve, you can go home when he starts today."

Jasper shrugged his shoulders whilst he thew back some coffee. "Don't worry about me, Bells; you need to think about yourself first."

"I have that sorted already." Alice piped up. She shot me a mischievous grin, which meant that I was not going to enjoy whatever she said next. "Saturday's lessons are the easiest, so I'll do them by myself this morning and you can spend some quality time with your boy."

"Fine. I'll get the animals fed and then you can take over."

Jasper let out a wild laugh. "That's not how this works, Bella. I can do all the feeding before I start on the paddocks."

Our meeting was interrupted by the scuffle of tiny feet as Noah entered the kitchen with one of his plushies under his arm and a serious case of bed hair. "Alice and Jay-Jay!"

Alice pulled Noah up onto her lap and cuddled him into her. "Guess what?" She whispered. "You get to spend the morning with Momma."

"We can, Momma? We can has fun together?"

This is why I take time off, and why I accept the help from my friends. Noah needed quality time with his momma, and I wouldn't give that up for the world.

"What would you like to do today? It's your choice."

"Erm…" Noah tapped his cheek as he thought over all the different options. His 'tattooed' hands were still as clear and vibrant as they were yesterday. "I wants to make cakes!"

"I think I can sort that out."

With a cheer Noah grabbed one of the remaining muffins from the plate and continued to pile it all into his mouth. Our meeting was put on hold then in order to get the day started, but we could discuss it again properly when Edward arrived. Until then, it was time to make some cakes with my boy and see that smile permanently on his little face.

0-0

"Chocolate frosting or vanilla?"

Our cupcakes were cooling on the wire rack, but now Noah had an important decision to make - the correct frosting made all the difference.

"We can has both, Momma?"

"Absolutely." I separated the cakes into two sets of six and then put the frosting into two bowls. "Do you want to do the chocolate?"

Noah nodded enthusiastically and grabbed a spoon and the cocoa powder. "Two, Momma?"

"Yes please!"

With a look of pure concentration on his face, Noah delicately put two spoonfuls of the powder into a bowl and then started to mix it all together vigorously. The tip of his tongue poked out at the side of his mouth. Once the chocolate frosting was up to Noah's standards, I set up the piping bag and handed it back over for him to finish them off.

His tongue poked out again as he squeezed a small drop onto the cupcake. "I doing it right, Momma?"

"You're almost better than me, baby boy."

Apparently I'm a comedienne - Noah threw his head back in laughter and I had to hold onto the breakfast bar to stop himself from falling. His chuckles warmed my heart more than anything else did. He completed the piping until all the cupcakes were frosted and then took the tub of rainbow sprinkles to give them the finishing touch.

"This one is for Inky, 'kay?" Noah picked up one of the vanilla cupcakes and put it off to one side. "And… I'm gonna give Colin… this one!" He chose the cake with the most chocolate frosting on top.

"That's very lovely of you; it's always good to share."

"That's 'cause I am lovely, Momma!"

After we had cleaned up I followed Noah upstairs in order for him to get changed for the day. Our cats - Zula and Duck - were curled up on Noah's bed, which he thoroughly enjoyed. I undressed him from his Monsters Inc onesie, but then noticed that it had splatters of cupcake batter and chocolate powder all over it - apparently it's not allowed to go into the wash.

"Momma, I can still wear it!"

"But it's dirty, love."

"No it's not!" With a finger Noah started to chip away at the dried up mess. "See! Is clean now!"

"Sweetheart, when our clothes are dirty we need to put them into the wash. We can find you some new pajamas for this evening."

Noah slumped onto his bed with a huff and crossed both arms around his stomach. I ignored his unnecessary tantrum in order to collect some clothes from his drawers. "Do you want to wear a plaid shirt today, sweetheart, or a Disney tee?"

"I don't wanna wear nothing."

"So you're going to walk around in your undies all day?"

I was told that Noah didn't mind wearing only his underwear, however when I said that it would be too cold outside for him to play in the yard with the dogs, he threw his body back onto the bed and kicked the air wildly. "Why?!"

"As soon as you have some clothes on you can play outside. Otherwise you'll be indoors today."

"But Inky and me are gonna play together!"

"Inky and I. Do you think he'll turn up in just his undies?"

I must admit, I would be interested to see what he looked like in just his undies.

Stop it, Bella.

"That's what Daddy did." Noah made a good point, but there is a difference between not wanting to get changed, or being too drunk to notice that you only had your stained boxers on. I'll never forget the time that Mike stumbled into the yard, beer in hand, and with only his three-day-old briefs covering his modesty.

"Remember, sweetheart, we don't do what Daddy did."

Noah realized that I was right, and finally chose to wear his Peter Pan costume along with Edward's old beanie. He paired the outfit with cowboy boots, because my boy can't wear anything else on his feet.

0-0

"Poppa Charlie!" Noah bounced around by the kitchen door as the busted-up Chevy drove down the dirt road. "Momma! It's Poppa Charlie! I can go?!"

"Wait until it comes to a stop, remember?" My son knows road safety, yet sometimes his excitement can get a little too much for him and you almost need to hold him back from running towards the moving vehicle. Once Charlie was out of the truck Noah asked me again, and was out of the door before I had finished saying 'yes'.

"Hey, Dad." He never tells me when he's coming over, so it's a nice surprise, but this time Charlie had paperwork in his hand which makes me nervous. The last time Charlie came here with paperwork I was told we were receiving three new horses, chickens and Noah was given Alfie the bunny. "Do I need to be worried?"

Charlie lifted Noah up into his arms to squeeze his grandson tightly. "Oh, Bells; when do I ever make decisions without you?" It was a rhetorical question; I didn't answer.

"Poppa Charlie, I'mma get more animals, right?"

Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.

"I'll discuss it with your momma, and then give you your answer."

Noah grinned mischievously. "I fink that means yes…"

Edward and Corin had just arrived, so I left Noah to go play with Corin as Charlie and I made our way back into the kitchen. I was not looking forward to whatever Charlie had to say.

"I've been doing some thinking… and I have thought of a way for you to make a bit more money."

Oh, for goodness sake.

"More money? Dad, we have a waiting list for our lessons. Money is not an issue right now."

"Yes… but we only make money through those lessons. I've thought of another way." He continued to open up his notepad and thumbed through the pages until he reached the one he was looking for. "Parties."

When I was growing up, and Charlie was in charge of this place, he never allowed anyone to throw new ideas into the works. Yet the second that I take over, he's like a damn backseat driver. I love my dad, and I appreciate everything he has ever done for Noah and I, but this is too much.

"Do I even want to know what you mean by parties?"

"Think about it. A birthday party for a little kid - they get a ride, free entry into the petting zoo… they'd love it!"

"What petting zoo?" See! This is what I mean. Sometimes I want to ask who is running this place. Him or me?

"Noah's Arc is a great invention, and if we build it up a bit it could become a petting zoo. Who wouldn't want to play with some rabbits or feed some goats?" Charlie slid over one of his pieces of paper that detailed the sale prices of kids, bunnies, lambs, and piglets.

"Right, and what happens when these animals grow? Also, I barely have the staff to look after the animals we already have, let alone with these added to the list!"

"Aha! That brings me to my next order of business. Seth is now ready for a job, and apparently his buddy is looking for one too. Problem solved!"

Seth is technically my step-brother. Charlie was married to Seth's mom for seven-eight years, but I was always so fond of that kid that when the marriage broke off I still saw him as my brother. He was very used to the stables, and lived here until the divorce, so if he needed a job then I was more than happy to have him back here. I'd need to see about his friend though… Stranger danger and all that.

"Look, I'm more than happy to hire more people, but I'll need to think about your other ideas. This is a lot for me, Dad; I don't have the time to organize parties on top of that."

Charlie shrugged. "That's all you need to do, Bells - I know you'll do the right thing."

Once I had finished with Charlie I went back into the yard in order to talk to Edward before Jasper finished for the day. I spotted Noah and Corin throwing a ball back and forth with Zucko and as I caught Edward's attention; he gave me a wave as he made his way over.

"How are you, love?" He rubbed my shoulder sweetly.

"I'm good. Erm, I was talking with Alice and Jasper today about how much we are working. I know this isn't fun and isn't easy, but would you be okay with working Jasper's shift tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. Seven o'clock start, right?"

I knew that he was accepting the offer to help me out, and Sundays were easy days to work because we don't have any lessons, but I still felt bad asking him. Mainly because Corin would need to join him for the early start. He is so lovely and understanding that it made everything difficult, especially as I couldn't work out what had happened last night. I enjoyed the kiss, I really did, but I did not enjoy the battle of thoughts that I currently had running laps in my head.

"Feel free to bring Corin in her pajamas and she can get some more sleep in my bed."

Edward laughed. "I might need to do that! That girl hates mornings."

"I'm sorry - I know this isn't ideal, but I hope to hire some new people soon and then things will get back to normal."

"Hey," Edward stroked my cheek with one thumb. "You don't need to apologize for anything."

"Thank you."

I didn't know how to act with him. The fear from before had returned and I couldn't work out what to do. Mike had ruined any chance for any potential relationships. I hate him so much.

"What's up?" He brought my tensed up body into a sideways hug.

"No, nothing… I'm - I'm fine."

Unfortunately Edward could smell bullshit from a mile off. "Did I push it too far last night?" The mix between fear and sadness that I spotted in his eyes only made me feel worse. I had to give him an honest answer, but I didn't know what that answer was. Did he push it too far? Do I regret what happened?

"I know this is the worst sentence in the world, but I don't know how else to put it." I held his hand firmly in mine and took a deep breath. "It's not you, it's me. Does that make sense?"

Edward's smile was sad. "You take all the time in the world. Think about yourself, and then everything will fall into place. Please don't get upset, because I know what you're like."

"I won't, I promise."

What he didn't know was that I didn't keep my promise, and as soon as I walked back into the kitchen I burst into tears.

0-0

I was found sitting at the breakfast bar an hour later. I had told everyone I was trying to get some work done, but the only thing I accomplished was consuming two cupcakes and countless mugs of coffee.

"Momma, my stomach is empty again." Noah broke me out of my musing.

"You can have some fruit." I tore a banana off the bunch and picked up a red apple from the bowl. "Banana or apple?"

"I can has a cupcake instead?" Noah pointed a finger at the empty cases that littered the tabletop. I'd prefer for him to have the healthier option, but I couldn't say no when I had just eaten two.

I dropped down from my seat in order to pick Noah up and allow him to grab the cake that he wanted. "I love you, baby. You know that, right?"

"I love you too, Momma!"

Good. I just needed some reassurance.

As I snuggled my baby boy to my chest, Alice walked into the kitchen. The lessons were finished for today.

"Is that you done, Ali?"

"Yep, but we're going to have a talk before I leave."

"What?" I acted like I was confused, but I really wasn't. Alice, like Edward, seemed to have a bullshit radar.

"C'mon, B. Grab your horse; it's time for a ride."

Alice and I have been friends since we were children, and she has been here for me through everything. She knows me better than anyone, and can always tell when something isn't right. Our horseback rides along the dirt trail are a way for us to discuss everything and sort out the problem.

"I can come with ya, Momma?" Noah peered up at me. His head titled to one side and with an adorable little pout on his lips; he loves riding with me.

"I'm sorry, baby - Miss Alice and I need to talk about boring adult stuff. I need you to stay with Corin and Edward until I return, okay?"

"Ya mean Inky, right?"

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him loudly on his forehead. "Yes, sweetheart, I meant Inky. You'll promise me that you'll stay with him?"

"I will, Momma!"

On my way to get Chester the Friesian, I took Noah over to the paddock that Edward was working on. Corin had a shovel in her hands as she helped out her father. She had no need to help with his work, but I knew that she loved to clean down their stables.

"Edward." I called out. He was quick to appear from the stables with a red folded bandana tied just above his forehead. Mixed with the plain black hoodie and jeans, he looked good. He looked, er… very good.

"Are you okay?"

Edward broke me from my distractions. With the shake of my head I replied. "Yes, yes. I'm going on a ride with Alice - are you good to keep an eye on Noah? I won't be gone for long."

"Of course." He put one arm around Noah's shoulders. "You gonna give me a hand, Lil' Man?"

"Yeah!" Noah jumped up and punched one fist into the air. "I'mma go get my brush, Inky, 'kay?" He was quick to run off towards the shed at the end of the paddock where the supplies were kept.

Edward looked at me with a frown - he knew that something wasn't right, but now wasn't the time to discuss anything. Especially as I hadn't spoken to Alice first. I shot him the most confident smile that I could muster before turning on my heel and leaving the paddock. My head was all over the place.

Chester trotted over to me as I entered his paddock. He stood at 16.2 hands, with a shiny jet black coat and his long, wavy, tail and mane. It was partly due to his height that I rarely use him in lessons. He was stunning, and looked powerful, yet elegant as he gallops around his paddock. I was very fond of my boy.

"Hey there, buddy." I held out my hand and rubbed it over his bristled nose. After feeding him an apple as a treat, I grabbed his saddle and reins from the shed and set him up for the ride. Alice was spotted on the other side of the fence. She had chosen a Rocky Mountain. We don't have favorites, however Alice was very fond of this particular horse. She had nicknamed him 'JT' because of the horse's bright blonde mane and Justin Timberlake's blonde ramen curls he used to sport.

It felt amazing to allow the wind to blow through my hair and feel the force as Chester galloped along the dirt trail. From behind, Alice called up to tell me to stop off at the field ahead. Chester slowed down into a trot as we entered the field; Alice was quick to catch up with JT.

"Tell me what's going on." Alice and I trotted side-by-side along the perimeter of the field.

"You know how things changed for Edward and I in Disneyland?"

"How could I forget?!"

"We kissed again last night."

I felt like a teenager, telling her girlfriends about their first kiss. Had Alice not been on the back of JT I strongly believe she would have jumped a foot in the air. The squeal that left her tiny body echoed throughout the empty field. "I knew it! I knew it!"

"Unfortunately, it did not go unnoticed by the kids."

"Okay… so are you concerned with what they might think?"

I didn't know what to think, hence the reason for us having this conversation. "I don't know. I'm scared that they'll like the idea too much."

Alice looked over at me with a face full of confusion. She paused for a minute before responding. "Bella, you do realize that that makes no sense, right?"

"I understand, but what if I'm not ready for this?"

We pulled Chester and JT to a halt just so that Alice could take my hand and look me straight in the eye. "You cannot allow Mike to rule your life. Do you think Edward would ever do the same thing?"

"No, of course not!"

"What are you worried about then?"

I pulled down on my hair in frustration; it was so difficult to explain. "I made a promise that I would never put Noah in a dangerous position again. I wouldn't be doing my job as a mother if I didn't put him before me."

"Bella, listen to yourself. You just told me that Edward won't hurt you, yet you're scared that Noah will be in danger?"

"I'll always be scared that he's in danger. That fear will never go away."

Alice went from being excited to frustrated in the matter of seconds. "Okay, then imagine this. Mike never entered your life - you and Noah lived here quite happily and then Edward walked into the picture. Would you be willing to start a relationship? Especially if he treats Noah the way he does?"

Dammit, I hate it when she is right.

I let out a loud sigh. "Probably, yeah."

"Then you've just solved your own problem. I understand how difficult this is for you - I really do - but you need to remember that Mike cannot hurt you anymore. You have nothing but positivity now, and the only way from here is up."

It was like I had a constant devil and angel sitting on my shoulder, making me decide upon different things. We continued our walk in silence until I had made up my mind. "Okay, you're right. So where do I go from here?"

"First off, you and Edward need to talk. Properly talk."

"Once the kids have gone to school on Monday I could sit down with him…" I thought aloud.

"No. If you are going to talk it needs to be away from the distraction of this place. How about I babysit the kids one night so you both can grab dinner?"

"You mean a date…"

Alice smirked. "I never said it would be a date, but if that is how you want to view it, then be my guest!"

She never said it, but I knew that that is what she meant.

Alice was crafty, but she often knew what needed to be done.

0-0

Do you agree with Alice? I do…

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