Chapter 26: The Dream

Once Sam was asleep, Arthur slipped her out of his arms and left the tent to have a smoke. As he did, he walked over to Dutch's tent. He was standing at the edge with a cigar in his hand, taking in the surrounding view as usual. He did that a lot when he was thinking. Dutch noticed Arthur and smiled before taking a puff from his cigar.

"Hello, son. Dare I ask about Sam?" he said with a sigh.

Arthur lit a cigarette and took in the smoke. "The con with Hosea got...complicated. Sam and me ended up havin' to shoot a lot of Lemoyne Raiders."

Dutch arched a brow with curiosity in his eyes. "Did you now?"

"Yes," Arthur replied sadly. "She's decided to go home."

Dutch bowed his head and nodded. "I'm sorry, son. I know you like her."

"I know." Arthur went to stand next to him, smoking his cigarette. He watched the swirly smoke lift into the sky and his brow crinkled up. "She'll be safer at home than she is here."

"Well, there's comfort in that. But," Dutch smoke his cigar and exhaled with a circular puff coming out, "we could keep her safe, you know. She could just stick to huntin'."

"I don't think she can. She likes the danger, but she's also terrified of it."

Dutch cocked his head to look at Arthur. "Maybe she just needs some time to get used to it. Why don't you take her out for a few days? Give her a break from all this?"

"I was thinkin' about it. I gotta head back up near Strawberry for a debtor anyway."

"Good. Take her with you, but make sure you two don't get into trouble."

Arthur took one more puff of his cigarette before putting it out under his boot. "I don't think I can guarantee that, but I'll try my best." Arthur lowered her head. "I want her to be safe, and if that means she's gotta leave, then she's gotta leave."

"But? You don't really want her to leave, do you..."

Arthur glanced at Dutch and shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Then we'll just have to convince her to stay."

"She don't belong here, Dutch."

The older man chuckled deeply. "That's a crock of shit. She belongs with you."

Arthur's eyes widened with mild shock. "What makes you say that?"

Dutch took another hit from his cigar. "Because you love her and I'm quite certain that she loves you."

Arthur laughed nervously. "What? I don't...love her, what kind of crazy assumption is that?"

Dutch chortled a bit. "I know love when I see it, old friend. You can deny it all you want, but I see it."

Arthur scoffed with a shake of his head. "I ain't got a clue what you mean, Dutch," he said before walking back to Sam's tent.

Arthur opened the flaps and saw Sam asleep on her cot, so he sat on the side of it and let his eyes adjust to the dark. When they did, he began to study her face. She was a beautiful woman in his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Sam started mumbling in her sleep, which made Arthur chuckle.

"What's that?" he asked her.

"...I wanna go home, but...I don't wanna leave you, Arthur..." she whispered in her sleep.

Arthur smiled despite himself and kissed her cheek. "Why's that?"

Sam started singing gently in her sleep. "If I go, there will be trouble...and if I stay, it will be double...come on and let me know...should I stay or should I go..."

Arthur stifled a laugh, wondering what exactly it was that she was singing. Whatever it was, it was cute. "That's a nice song, Sam."

Sam rolled over in her sleep and Arthur got in behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his chest to her back. "Get back here, you stupid deer..."

Arthur went stiff for a moment. She was chasing that damn buck again. He put his lips to her ear. "Don't go, Sam. Leave the buck alone for now."

"Mmm, okay..."

Arthur wasn't ready for her to leave yet. In fact, he wasn't sure he'd ever be ready for it. Ever since they started being with each other, he'd wake up happy that she was still there. Sometimes she wouldn't be and he'd almost panic and look for her, but she'd always be outside talking to the others or eating breakfast. He hated that she wanted to leave, but he knew it was for the best. He couldn't keep her safe from everything. However, if she wasn't meant to be here, why had she traveled back in time? Was it an accident or was it by design? It didn't seem like an accident from the way she described her dream.

Arthur felt tired. Maybe he'd talk to her about this tomorrow. He laid his head down and shut his eyes, soon falling into a deep slumber.

When he woke up the next morning, Sam was gone. He immediately jumped out of bed and went outside. She was nowhere to be found. Barely anyone was up. He saw Charles and walked over to him.

"Hey Charles, you see Sam anywhere?" he asked.

Charles shook his head. "No. Maybe she went hunting."

Arthur looked over to the horses and saw Orion was still there. Oh no. Had she left with the buck? Was she back in her own time? Shit. Shit shit shit. Arthur started walking around camp looking for her. He checked everywhere, behind the carts, at other people's tents...everywhere. Mr. Pearson was watching him with some curiosity.

"Mr. Morgan, are you okay?" Pearson asked.

"Sam's gone," Arthur replied.

"No she's not. Her horse is still here." Arthur's heart started beating faster. His hands clenched into fists and his head lowered. Sam was gone. She'd left him behind, he was almost certain of it. "Arthur, what's wrong?"

"She's gone, Pearson," he said glumly. "She left without Orion."

"Now why would she do a silly thing like that?"

"Because...she..." Arthur couldn't explain why or how Sam's horse was still here but she was gone. He raised his head and looked at Pearson. "I just know, alright?"

Mr. Pearson chuckled as he began cutting up some meat to put in the morning stew. "Don't you think you're bein' a little paranoid? She wouldn't leave without sayin' goodbye."

Charles came walking up to Arthur and put a hand on his shoulder. "Arthur, you look like you're about ready to explode. What's wrong?"

"He thinks Sam left without sayin' goodbye," Pearson answered.

Charles laughed briefly and shook Arthur's shoulder in a friendly, comforting way. "I'm sure she's around here somewhere, Arthur. C'mon, I'll help yo- hey, there she is!"

Arthur turned towards the direction Charles had pointed and took a big sigh of relief. Sam was walking through the tree line, her hair was wet, and she was holding a bundle of clothes. She was wearing a brown chemise and black pants. Arthur went marching over to her. He was pissed. Sam waved at him from afar but as he got near, her hand dropped and she frowned.

"What's wrong, Arthur?" Sam asked.

Arthur stopped right in front of her, glaring at her intensely. "Where the hell did you go?!" he snapped.

Sam's eyes went wide. "Uh, I went to go take a bath. Is that a problem?"

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

Now it was Sam's turn to get angry. "Excuse me, but why should I have to tell you where I'm going?!"

"I didn't know where you were!"

"I only went to go take a bath, you fucking ass hat!"

"You should've told me, god dammit!"

"You were asleep! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"I thought you..." Arthur took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "I thought you left, Sam."

Realization dawned on her face. "...Oh." She dropped her clothes and grasped each side of his head, looking at him tenderly. "I'm sorry, babe."

Arthur had never heard of "babe" before but he deduced it was a term of endearment. Arthur pulled her into a tight grasp and kissed her hard. Sam returned it, putting her arms around his neck. He stopped and pressed their foreheads together, keeping his eyes closed.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that-"

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Arthur hugged her tightly, as she did him. They stood there for a few minutes just holding each other. It was then that Arthur knew Dutch was right. Arthur loved her. "From now on, I'll tell you where I'm going in the mornings, okay?"

"Okay." Arthur let her go and gave her a warm smile. "I have to go collect a debt up near Strawberry. You wanna come with me? It'll be at least a couple of days."

Sam smiled back at him. "Sure. I could use some time away to...process things."

Arthur gave her a tender kiss and sighed. "Well, let's go get ready."

Sam grabbed her discarded clothes and walked with Arthur, holding his hand. Charles and Pearson were smirking at them both. As they passed by, Arthur sneered at them.

"Not a word," he growled.

Charles and Pearson laughed and the couple went to their tents to grab the essentials for the trip. When they had everything they needed, Arthur and Sam loaded the things on their horses and headed out. As the hours went by on their trip, Arthur could tell Sam was already feeling better despite what happened yesterday. It made him glad, but now he had some questions to ask.

"Sam, can I ask you somethin'?" Arthur voiced.

"Sure," she replied.

"Why do you think you were brought here?"

Sam took a glance at her lover and tilted her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean do you think it was an accident? You travelin' through time?"

A thoughtful expression came over her. "You know, I haven't really thought about it that much. You'd think I'd be constantly questioning it, but...well, I guess I'm just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Anyway, I don't know. Maybe I was put here for a reason."

"Then maybe you were meant to stay," Arthur said.

Sam slowed her horse to a stop. "Arthur, please don't-"

Arthur stopped too. "Why else would it happen?"

Sam gave a loud groan. "Alright, look. In my time, we have science fiction books that basically have the same scenario: someone gets sent back in time, and usually, it's to change something in the past."

"So you're here to change the past?"

"Probably. And once I've done that, maybe I can go home. I just wish I knew what the hell it was."

"And where does that leave me in all this? I'm supposed to just...forget about you once you're gone?"

"I'm sure you will in time, Arthur."

"The hell I will."

"I don't know what else to say, Arthur. I just want to go home where it's safe."

Arthur frowned and bowed his head. There was just no way to convince her to stay. And rightfully so. Who was he to make her stay? It was ultimately her decision. They kept quiet for a good portion of the ride as the tension was now thick from their conversation. Eventually they made it to Strawberry and by that time, it was night tine. They rented a room at the hotel, deciding to look for the debtor in the morning. They slept on opposite sides of the bed, not being anywhere near each other. Arthur hated it. This was supposed to be a time to ease her mind, not make things worse. He felt like an idiot. Arthur sighed and rolled over to her side.

"You awake, Sam?" he asked.

"...Yes. Can't sleep," she replied.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like it when we fight."

Arthur placed an arm around her and she turned to snuggle into his embrace. "I don't like fightin' with you neither."

She dug her face into his shoulder and whimpered. "I...this is a hard decision I've made, Arthur."

"I know, I know," he responded, rubbing her back gently. "Let's just try to enjoy the time we have left."

Arthur would just have to deal with it, it was as simple as that. However, it suddenly occurred to him that he'd never be able to say goodbye to her. Once she was gone, she'd be gone, him being none the wiser until he woke up. Noticing that she was asleep, he placed his mouth near her ear.

"If I don't see you tomorrow, then good bye," he whispered.

Sam nestled closer to him and Arthur closed his eyes. It took forever for him to fall asleep, but when he did, he dreamed about Sam chasing a buck in a forest. It was a bright, sunny day out and he glimpsed the sun through the trees. He ran after her, calling out her name and yelling at her to stay, but Sam was either ignoring him or she wasn't hearing him. He ran faster, jumping over logs and pushing away branches from the vast array of trees. Sam and the buck disappeared somewhere as a fog came rolling in. It became overcast and soon the fog became as thick as pea soup. He kept on calling out her name in desperation, stopping in a small clearing.

"She can't hear you," a voice echoed behind him.

Arthur turned around sharply but no one was there. "Hello?" he called out.

"She wants to go home," the voice came from behind once more.

Arthur turned around, looking for the owner of the voice. It sounded like nothing he'd heard before. Not a man, not a woman, but hopefully human. Soon a bunch of voices chimed in.

"You can't make her stay."

"You can't protect her."

"You'll never change her mind."

"She doesn't love you."

Arthur closed his eyes and covered his ears but the voices didn't stop.

"She'll never stay for you."

"She'll leave you, just like Mary."

"Stop!" Arthur shouted angrily.

The voices ceased and the fog began to disappear. It was sunny once more but the trees were gone. He was now in a valley of grass and flowers. He spotted Sam chasing around the buck once more and he went after her. The buck stopped to graze on some grass and Sam slowed to a halt. She held put her hand and the buck lifted its head before walking toward her. Arthur finally got to her and yelled at the buck.

"Get outta here! Scram!" he yelled. The buck ignored Arthur and he got in between the buck and Sam. "I said get outta here!"

"Arthur, please don't interfere," Sam said behind him. Arthur pulled out his guns and started shooting the buck. It dropped dead to the ground and Sam screamed at him. "Why did you do that?!"

Arthur snapped around and put his guns away. "Because I don't want you to leave."

Sam pushed him aside and knelt down to the deer. She touched his head and a light flashed.

Arthur opened his eyes and sat up in bed, breathing heavily. He looked over where Sam was but she wasn't there. Shit. He got out of bed and ran out of the room, then he charged down the stairs. He burst through the hotel door to a foggy, overcast day. He started screaming her name over and over as he ran, but he couldn't find her nor could he hear a response. The fog was too thick for him to see through, but he kept running around, desperate to find his lover. It felt like hours as he went through the fog, searching, looking, calling out Sam's name.

"Sam! Where are you? Sam!" Abruptly he saw a figure in the fog. It looked like Sam. "Sam?"

She turned around and gave him a big smile. "Hey there, babe. What are you doing?"

"Looking for you."

"Well, you found me."

Arthur approached her and enveloped her in his arms. "Sam, I don't want you to go."

"I know, but I have to go."

"No you don't," Arthur said, pulling back to stare hard into her face. "I can protect you. You ain't never gotta kill anyone again, I promise. Just stay with me."

Sam giggled. "You're being silly. You can't protect me. You can't protect anyone. Not Mary, not Eliza, not Isaac."

Arthur stared at her in disbelief. "What did you just say?"

Sam pointed behind him. "Eliza and Isaac are dead because you couldn't protect them." Arthur slowly turned around to see two graves and a house in the fog. He walked over to the graves and fell to his knees in between them. Sam walked up behind him and ran her hands through his hair. "Poor, poor Arthur. Everyone you love just leaves you."

Arthur bowed his head low and growled. "Shut up."

"Oh, you know it's true," Sam said...in Mary's voice.

Arthur shot up and backed away from Sam who was now Mary. "Stay the hell away from me. You're not Sam, you're not Mary, you're nobody."

Mary giggled almost maniacally and covered her mouth. "Oh really?"

"Daddy?" a child's voice echoed behind him. Arthur's heart sank and he slowly turned around to see a small child with light blue eyes and short brown hair. "Daddy," he said.

"...Isaac," Arthur mumbled out. "What are you-"

"Why didn't you save me and mommy?"

Arthur closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "Isaac, I'm sorry."

"Why weren't you there to save us, Daddy?"

"I didn't know. I...I don't know."

"You can't protect anyone, Daddy! It's all your fault! We're dead because of you!"

Isaac went running into the house and Arthur ran toward it. "Isaac, wait!"

Suddenly he heard Eliza and Isaac screaming from inside the house. He tried to get in but the door was locked. He started bashing his shoulder into it but it wouldn't open.

"Daddy!" Isaac screamed.

"Arthur! Help us!" Eliza yelled.

Arthur grunted loudly as he kept trying to open the door, but it wouldn't open. He heard two gunshots from inside and he kicked the door open. He went running inside but no one was there. He only saw blood splattered on the wooden floor. That was enough to break him and he fell to his knees, weeping quietly. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked behind him. It was Sam.

"Arthur, wake up!" she yelped, shaking him. "Wake up now!" Arthur's eyes opened and he shot up in bed, his breath shallow and sweat clinging to his whole body. Sam was next to him looking bewildered. "Hey, Arthur, are you okay?"

Arthur swallowed hard and tried to regain his composure. He hadn't dreamt about Eliza and Isaac in a very long time. She shook his head to clear it.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," he mumbled.

Sam frowned and wiped his hair back from his forehead. "You uh...you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Sam nodded and gave him a small kiss on the nose. "Okay, that's...okay."

Arthur wiped his face. Had he been crying in his sleep? He got out of bed and started getting dressed. "I need some air," he said.

"...Okay," she answered.

Arthur finished buttoning up his shirt, walked to the door, opened it, and slammed it shut behind him.