Episode 36: Super Wario Boredom
JANUARY 6th, 2019
Wario and Waluigi were in their room, constantly switching channels on their TV.
"And now for the news here on Channel 216 News, with your host, Chatot!" a voice from the TV boomed.
"Boring!" Wario groaned. Before Chatot could even show up on the TV, the yellow dunce changed the channel.
"It's time for... Cooking With King K. Rool And Hugh Neutron: The Extra Violent Edition!" K. Rool himself exclaimed through the TV.
"Lame!" Waluigi complained before Wario changed the channel again.
"We interrupt your lives to inform you that you suck!" a Waddle Doo proclaimed through the TV.
"Shut up!" Wario demanded. The fat idiot threw the remote at the TV... which only bounced off of the TV. However, the Waddle Doo ran off screen after the remote bounced off. Suddenly, the TV even turned itself off.
"Lousy television! Can't even have anything good on!" Waluigi growled.
"Yeah! And on the day that all our friends just vanished too!" Wario added. "Where even are they?!"
XxXx
~Disco Train from Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong-Quest starts to play~
In the bustling Smashtopolis was a dome called "Raveyard". With only a short glimpse of the dome's exterior, the "screen" zoomed through the doors and entered the building. Inside, there were five Gengar doing the Macarena on stage, a Shy Guy with his feet rapidly flying around like he was just a Gmod ragdoll, and Zavok was doing his stupid Orange Justice dance.
"Pelvic thrust! Whoooo!" SpongeBob yelled, flying across the dome. He smashed right into the wall next to the bar, where Falco and Crazy Hand were sitting.
"It's a good thing we didn't forget to bring anyone along," Falco said after taking a sip of water like a good boy. There was nothing but silence from the two weirdos for a few seconds, with SpongeBob walking behind the duo and rubbing his head during that time, until Falco spoke again. "Right, Wario and Waluigi?" The space pilot turned to the other side, where robots of Wario and Waluigi sat next to him.
"Er, yes," the robot Wario said in a near perfect replica of Wario's voice, with only a slight amount of a robotic tone. "It's also a good thing that no one evil is spying on us through robot clones."
"HIC! You t-tell 'em, Wa-wario!" Anna uttered, holding an empty cocktail glass while drunkenly spinning over to the bartender Dratini. "Hey w-waiter! I need another martini in my c-cocktail glass! Hic!"
"I wish I was actually paid enough to deal with people," the Dratini complained as it poured out a martini for the merchant.
~Disco Train stops as Shadows Approach from Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones starts~
But the Waluigi robot was recording everything from its eyes, sending all the footage to a mysterious robed being in the alleyway next to the Raveyard dome.
"Yes... all of them besides Wario and the original are here. Now's the perfect time to... take off this irritating robe!" the being said. Swiftly taking off its robe with one arm, the robed being revealed itself to be none other than Waluhart. "Excellent! I am one step closer to exacting my revenge on the inferior original, his brother, and all their worthless friends! And... avenging the Waluigi clones who perished I guess."
~Shadows Approach stops~
Waluhart then just stood there, the wind blowing away his robe and a Lakitu.
"Oh well, time to get the tanks," the Waluigi-Walhart clone said.
XxXx
~Waluigi's Island from Mario Party 3 starts to play~
"Waa... I just want something to do!" Wario complained.
"Waa... how about we go back to reading that weird story where Falco lost some chicken friend to a fire and for some reason the Smasher's Palace was in the middle of that New Donk City joint? You know, the story that feels like we're only bothering to read it because someone is controlling our minds for the sake of subtle advertising?" Waluigi suggested.
"Hmm..." Wario walked out of the room and looked out of the closest window before getting an idea. He grabbed Waluigi and they both bounced out of the room like tumbleweeds, went down all the stairs, and out of the Smasher's Palace.
~Waluigi's Island stops as Pokémon Center (Nighttime) from Pokémon: Diamond/ Pearl starts~
Not too far away from the dunce duo was Lucario, sitting in a hammock above the melting snow while reading "Romeo & Juliet & Luigi".
"Well, this story's mediocre at best. It just feels like the original with an irritating third main character thrown in for the sake of calling it "new". How boring," the Aura Pokémon complained. The faintest growl emitted from somewhere nearby, but Lucario failed to hear it.
~Pokémon Center (Nighttime) stops~
... Especially not over the crash made by the Wario Bros. as they landed in front of the Aura Pokémon.
"Hey flea bag!" Wario greeted.
"Hello morons," Lucario groaned.
"What'cha reading?" Waluigi inquired, stretching his neck to get a peek.
"A mediocre book."
"Can we read it?" Wario asked.
"Uh... sure? Knock yourselves out?" Lucario responded with a confused tone. He passed the book into Waluigi's dirty hands, and thus Waluigi rammed his face right into it.
"Waa... oh, EW! Luigi's in this lousy book!" Waluigi complained. The growling noise appeared again, this time louder and coming from the book itself.
"Yes, they threw in a third main character just so they could claim that it was "new". Hence why it's mediocre." The growling got even louder, yet no one bothered to pay attention to it.
"Mediocre?! Heck no! This thing is the most worthless, irredeemable garbage I-"
Suddenly, teeth appeared from both sides of the book and latched down on Waluigi's nose.
~Outlaw! from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~
"IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Waluigi shrieked. The lanky wacko ran around in circles, with Wario chasing after him in the same circle.
"Did you actually shut that thing right on your n-" Lucario muttered before he caught a quick glimpse of the book's front cover, noticing that there were two eyes on it now. "No, you actually didn't. And I'm just going to walk away now." As Lucario backed off, Toad joined in on the circle chase. And not long after Toad joined the chase, the trio's absurd speeds lit the circle on fire just the tiniest bit. Wario, Waluigi, and Toad just kept speeding up, the fire just kept growing, and Tingle kept moving his head around, keeping his focus on Waluigi from a distance while the Guy Who Moves His Head rapidly moved his head.
"Stupid book!" Wario roared, finally getting the chance to yank the book off of Waluigi. "I'm gonna tear you page from page!" The fat plumber started ripping out all of the pages, causing the book to squeal. "Cover by cover!" The leather cover was then torn in half by the yellow maniac, killing the evil book. "And have your remains be incinerated by the flames for the crimes you have committed!" Wario dropped the book cover pieces on top of the large pile of paper that was already nearly destroyed.
~Outlaw! stops~
"Well, that wasn't worth getting caught on fire for," Toad groaned. The mushroom servant marched off, his feet still burning.
"Waa... there goes that plan," Wario uttered.
"Yeah. That plan went up in flames," Waluigi replied. "Wait! Look over there!" Wario stared where Waluigi was pointing, discovering the blocky Steve selling blocks and other things at a stand.
"Ooh! You thinking what I'm thinking, bro?"
"Waa, absolutely," the purple pest cackled, holding a large sack.
"So you're thinking that we steal some of that sucker's stuff?"
"That, and putting this fire out." The two brothers stood there for a few seconds longer before finally feeling the flames crawling on them.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" both brothers cried out. As the twins flailed their arms, they fled from the scene. Lucario then returned, with R.O.B. at his side.
"... And they destroyed it. Granted, I can actually understand why, but still," Lucario pointed out.
"OH DEAR... I SHALL DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION THEN," R.O.B. said in his robotic voice. The robot went on his way, passing by Steve's stand.
~Kommissar X by Gerhard Trede starts to play~
And as soon as R.O.B. left, Wario and Waluigi crawled up behind the stand, already free from the flames. Wario snagged two grindstones while Waluigi stole a single skeleton skull.
"Alright, Mrs. Incineroar, one diamond hoe coming up," Steve said to the Heel Pokémon.
~Kommissar X stops~
When the blocky human turned around, Wario and Waluigi were already gone. However, Steve still noticed his missing wares.
"Hmm..." Steve groaned.
~Flower Field from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts to play~
"Oh well, I was just giving my stuff for free anyways!" Steve stated, causing Incineroar to squeal while flailing her arms around.
~Flower Field stops~
Just around the other end of the Smasher's Palace, Wario and Waluigi had laid out the three things they stole in their hands.
"I got a skull," Waluigi said.
"I got two rocks," Wario replied.
"I got a gun," a Shy Guy added, pointing at the brothers. Wario merely responded by crushing the masked maniac with one of the grindstones. "And now I have brain damage."
"And I have the desire to force you out of here," Waluigi growled. The purple moron tossed the skull at the Shy Guy, sending the masked moron away from the Smash Grounds.
"Waa, let's just leave this garbage here and pretend this never happened," Wario groaned. The fat idiot placed down one grindstone and then placed the other on top of the first. Waluigi just chucked the skull at the top grindstone, but the skull managed to stick right to the grindstone instead of bouncing down. After a quick flash of light, it was revealed that the three items had fused to create a TNT Yeeter, with the Item Catch jingle from The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time playing once the TNT Yeeter was revealed to the world.
"Ooh, a thing! Whatever that thing is!" Wario said while the TNT Yeeter made a bunch of Minecraft skeleton noises. The TNT Yeeter surveyed its surroundings until it spotted Ness over by the Smash Grounds's garden. The newborn creature pulled out a block of TNT from thin air and lifted it over its head.
"YEET!" the TNT Yeeter shouted, yeeting the TNT block. As soon as the block touched the dirt near Ness, it exploded, knocking Ness away a small bit.
~Now Or Never! (Splatfest) from Splatoon starts to play~
Yet the TNT Yeeter didn't stop there, instead yeeting more TNT at a blinding pace. Ness kept getting sent flying all over the burning garden, and others, like Zelda, Yoshi, and Agent Three got caught up in the explosions. Even a Bob-Omb that wandered out of the nearby Bob-Omb shed got blasted, resulting in a spiral of flame rising up into the sky. Wario and Waluigi slowly backed away from the destruction right as Typhlosion and the Vulpix the brothers encountered during Halloween two years ago showed up to soak up the flames with their Flash Fire ability.
~Now Or Never! (Splatfest) stops~
"Good thing Master Hand's not here to blame me for an explosive mess again," Sonic said, watching the chaos from a distance. "Later!" The blue hedgehog tried to run off, but another TNT block blew up next to him.
XxXx
~Stonecarving City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~
Wario and Waluigi were back in their room, laying on their beds.
"C'mon! Think! There's gotta be something else for us to do!" Wario said.
"We could continue reading the Book Of Legit Facts!" Waluigi suggested. "Or we could write another fairy tale. Or we could try out some of my latest clothing designs. Or we could watch a three-second meme video for hours on end on the Internet."
"Wait, I just got an idea! We could go on the Internet-"
"And watch a three-second meme video f-"
"No! We could go on the Internet and post opinions on there!"
~Stonecarving City stops~
Waluigi, with a small amount of worry, sat up and turned towards Wario, who was already tapping away on his computer.
"Well, I suppose that ain't too ba-"
"More specifically, opinions about Super Smash Bros.!"
~Got My Eye On You from Miitopia starts to play~
Waluigi's eyes grew huge and his mustache drooped from all the worry building up within him.
"WARIO! No! Wait!"
"There... are... too... many... Fire Emblem... characters... in... Smash!"
"WARIOOOOOOOOO!" Waluigi leaped out of bed and flew over to Wario.
"And... send!" Wario said, pressing the enter key. Only then did Waluigi tackle Wario, resulting in a large crash.
~Got My Eye On You stops~
"Wario! You just opened up a destructive can of worms!" Waluigi informed as the brothers got up. "Who knows what could happen now that you said that!"
~King Bowser ~ Main from Super Mario Galaxy starts to play~
Suddenly, the entire palace shook for a short moment, only to be followed by another short quake. More short quakes followed, with the TNT Yeeter ending its TNT yeeting spree, R.O.B. pausing the hunt for the Wario Bros., Snorlax ending his slumber from a fair distance away from the Smash Grounds, Weegee pausing an episode of Love Live from his castle, Professor E. Gadd staring away from live footage of Weegee's antics, and Master Hand stopping in front of Morshu's Ice Cream Stand in Smashtopolis as soon as they noticed the first quake. Even Duck Hunt Dog felt the quakes within the Raveyard dome.
"Uh... what the heck was that?!" the dog asked, on the verge of panicking.
"Hic! It was n-nothing, Duck Hunt Dog mah boi!" Snake drunkenly claimed. "Now c-c-c-c'mon! Let's go back to dancing w-with the ladieeeeeeeeeeeeees!" Snake then fell down to the floor, his body shaking with every quake. Duck Hunt Dog took a quick look around him, with everyone else but SpongeBob and Patrick either still dancing or doing something stupid, before groaning. Back at the Smash Grounds, Wario and Waluigi were shivering yet armed with the Dinner Blaster and tennis racket as the quakes got more violent. The crackles of fire started appearing next to the open door of the morons's room, and one last quake occurred as Bowser's foot stepped into view, being the source of said quake.
~King Bowser ~ Main stops~
But then the crackling flames ceased, and Bowser took a single normal step ahead.
"Hey guys. I heard the crash and came to see if you were alright," the Koopa King stated.
"Daw, thanks Bowser!" Wario happily replied. "Don't worry, Waluigi just tackled me after I said that there are too many Fire Emble-"
"DING DONG YOUR OPINION IS WRONG!" a voice exclaimed before something grabbed Bowser from behind and tossed him through the window in front of the Wario Bros.'s room, Super Mario 64-style.
~Street Scene by Robert Farnon starts to play~
"One turtle shell please," Kellam said to Steve.
"As you wish, my good floating head sir!" the blocky man responded.
"... Can you not see my suit of armo-"
~Street Scene stops~
And then Bowser slammed right into Kellam's side, somehow not knocking the armored Shepherd over. Back in Wario and Waluigi's room, the "screen" focused on the one who threw Bowser, Pichu.
"What's the big idea, little rodent?!" Wario demanded to know.
"I can here to inform you that your opinion is objectively wrong, you complete wastes of space!" Pichu growled. "I felt bored, so I decided to use my free time to put idiots like you in your place by insulting you. Now suffer the consequences of your wrong opinion... or admit that you're both wrong and suffer the consequences!"
"No! Buzz off, you little yellow skunk!" Waluigi demanded.
"Hey! Don't you dare harass me!" Pichu shot back. Wario and Waluigi sluggishly turned their heads to look at each other before glaring back at the small Pokémon.
"We just want to be left alone, buddy. Nothing else," Waluigi calmly said.
"Fine then! Let's make a deal. We'll fight at Final Destination in thirty minutes, in a no-holds-barred match! Literally anything that won't get us banned from the tournament is fair game! Even lanky loser here gets to fight as though he was a normal Smasher! If I win, you must apologize for insisting that your awful opinion is fact. If you idiots somehow win... well, I'll go do something else."
"Waa! Anything that gets you to shut up!" Wario growled.
"You'll be the only ones silenced! See you soon, Wario Boobs!" Pichu scoffed.
Meanwhile...
Weegee stopped watching his Love Live again, and turned his head around.
"Why do I feel like someone just used my personal insult I came up for the Wario Bros. that I don't use anywhere near enough?" the evil meme wondered.
XxXx
"Says you!" Waluigi yelled. Pichu however just wandered away. Once she was gone, the two idiots just started growling.
Thirty Minutes Later...
And they were still growling, even while they were standing in the control room for the Final Destination stage. Even as other Smashers and Assist Trophy characters stood around them. Even as a Gulpin arrived and started growling. It wasn't until King Dedede tapped them both on the shoulder that they stopped.
"Waa, how did we get here?" Waluigi wondered while Ridley started charging up his fireballs to get the Gulpin to shut up. However, the Gulpin swallowed Ridley whole before the Space Pirate leader had the chance to attack.
"Who cares?! Let's go show that yellow rodent what for!" Wario yelled.
"You know you two would go out of your way just to yell at someone just for posting something you disagree with on the Internet too," Yoshi said.
"Only if they said something that's actually wrong!" Waluigi argued.
"Yeah, like if they said that we suck, Anna sucks, any of our other friends suck, or if they said the Mario Bros. are anything more than stupid losers!" Wario added.
"We don't stoop to the point of ramming our faces into other people's faces just because they said something like "there's too many FE characters in Smash," or something," Waluigi finished.
"Uh... huh... sure," Yoshi awkwardly responded.
"Shut the hell up and get on the stage! I want to see some damn carnage!" Dark Pit demanded. Wario and Waluigi flew onto the teleporter like ragdolls and instantly appeared on Final Destination.
~Career Mode from Punch-Out (Wii) starts to play~
"Hello again, whoever you strange people are. It is I, Arvis, and I am being forced to serve as an announcer again for, again, "meta" reasons," Arvis groaned, sitting in a booth in the control room. "And today, my... "partner" is this thing."
"I AM THE META! BOW BEFORE ME!" a Ferrothorn sitting next to Arvis screamed, waving its vines around. Arvis merely sent the tiniest magical ember at Ferrothorn, which was enough to engulf the Pokémon in flames. "NO! NO COUNTERS TO THE META ALLOWED!"
"You're only part of the meta, idiot," Lucario remarked. Ferrothorn then tackled poor Lucario, spreading the flames onto him as well.
"Let's... just get on with the match, shall we?" Arvis moaned. Many of the Smashers and Assist Trophy characters in the room slammed themselves against the window peering at Final Destination.
"BRING ON THE DAMN PAIN!" Dark Pit roared.
~Career Mode stops World Circuit from the same game starts~
"On one side of the stage, we have the "Yellow Treasure Hunter" Wario, and the "Purple Guy Who Just Wants A Moment In The Spotlight For Once", Waluigi," Arvis said, his voice reaching out to Final Destination. Wario and Waluigi posed towards the control room... but most just stared at the two with blank expressions. Away from the window though, Dedede, Bandana Dee, Bowser, Incineroar, and the TNT Yeeter were cheering, waving yellow and purple flags, and in the case of the TNT Yeeter, making a bunch of skeleton noises. "And on the other side, we have..."
~World Circuit stops~
"... these four things I don't care about," Arvis finished. Pichu then appeared on the other side of Final Destination, followed by Young Link, Ness, who was nearly entirely covered in bandages, and R.O.B. right afterwards.
"BREAK THEIR BONES!" Isabelle squealed, gaining confused glares from everyone up against the window.
"WAA! Unfair! Four against two is unfair!" Wario complained.
"I said this was a no-hold-barred ma-" Pichu replied.
"ACTUALLY, I JUST CAME TO ASK WARIO AND WALUIGI IF THE BOOK WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE AND BITING WALUIGI'S NOSE BEFORE," R.O.B. interrupted.
"Oh, yeah, it had ugly eyes and teeth and everything. Waa," Waluigi answered.
"AH. THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING. YOU TWO SHALL NOT BE PUNISHED FOR BURNING THAT BOOK. HAVE A NICE DAY." R.O.B. just walked off Final Destination, reaching the lower blast zone. Once his single stock was used, the robot appeared back in the control room.
"Ah, now that's better," Wario calmly pointed out before getting angered again. "But three against one is still unfa-"
... And then Incineroar teleported behind the Wario Bros., face on the ground before jumping onto her feet.
"Hello guys!" the Heel Pokémon greeted.
"Hey! Sudden interference is unfa-" Pichu whined.
"Three!" Arvis exclaimed in the Smash Bros. announcer's voice.
"Ack! You tw-" Pichu uttered.
"Two!" Arvis shouted.
"... two, get in battle position!" the yellow mouse finished. Wario and Incineroar flexed their muscles while Waluigi pulled out his trusty tennis racket.
"One!" Arvis continued. Pichu and her two allies finally got into a battle stance, glaring their opponents down.
~Battlefield from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts to play~
"GO!" Arvis finished.
"LET'S-A GO!" Wario and Waluigi roared. The wacko Wario Bros. and Incineroar charged ahead...
~Battlefield stops~
... only to get bombarded with electric balls, fire arrows, and fiery lightning bolt projectiles. The "screen" shifted over to the other side of Final Destination, showing that Pichu, Young Link, and Ness were constantly spamming the same projectiles over and over. Pichu kept using Thunder Shock, Young Link kept firing the fire arrows, and Ness kept using PK Fire. Every time one of the three Smashers unleashed their respective projectiles, a bass boosted noise would blare across the stage. Louder than the bass boost noise however was Ness shouting "PK Fire" every single time he spammed his attack, his shouts only getting louder and louder every time. Isabelle and Dark Pit laughed as loud as they could, irritating Lucario, Arvis, and Ferrothorn enough to put on earmuffs.
"Waa! Stupid spamming cheaters!" Waluigi cried out, standing on the very edge of the stage.
"How many times do I have to tell you dunces?! This match is no-hold-barred! Everything is fair game! Especially spamming!" Pichu growled. Wario just sat in place, cross-eyed as "Everything is fair game!" echoed throughout his head numerous times... before "Echo!" in Wario's own voice started echoing instead. Pictures of Lucina, Dark Pit, and Richter started appearing in front of Wario as well before fading away as quickly as they appeared. Wario's internally echoes even continued as a picture of a Zubat appeared.
"I CAN'T TELL WHERE I AM!" the "Zubat" screeched.
"Wario, you're on fire," Waluigi pointed out. The "screen" zoomed out to show that Ness was continuously setting Wario ablaze with PK Fire. The fake Zubat disappeared with a poof as Wario's eyes got uncrossed.
~Final Destination (Ver. 2) from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Wario roared, pulling out the Dinner Blaster. Ness leaped over Young Link before the yellow maniac fired a single plate of burning spaghetti at the younger Link. Time seemed to slow down for Young Link as the spaghetti plate swallowed the fire arrow the Hylian just fired.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Isabelle cried out in slow motion. It wasn't until the plate was just about to touch Young Link's face that time unfroze. The burning touch of the spaghetti instantly KO'd Young Link, lighting him on fire and sending him right back into Final Destination's control room without sending him through the blast zones first.
"Yes! Some more fucking carnage!" Dark Pit cheered while Young Link rolled around in flames behind those staring into the stage. Young Link stopped rolling around just to fire a single fire arrow at Dark Pit, which started a fire on the edgelord's hair. "FUCK! WHY ME?!"
"DO NOT FRET! THE META WILL SAVE YOU BOTH!" Ferrothorn exclaimed, holding a hose. The hose launched a huge stream of water, which Arvis and Lucario just glared at with irritated looks while it sprayed right in front of their eyes. Young Link, Dark Pit, and even Isabelle got washed out of the control room thanks to the waters and got sent flying over to the still burning spiral of flames. Typhlosion and Vulpix were prancing around in the spiral before the water stream put it out and carried them alongside the trio already washed up. Back at Final Destination, Wario, Waluigi, and Incineroar were combing Ness, leaving Pichu to stare at Ness's beating in horror. However, the yellow mouse remembered something, pulling out a suitcase from thin air.
"Have a rotten day!" Wario told Ness, chucking him over to Waluigi.
"And an awful new year!" the lanky maniac added. Waluigi smacked Ness with his tennis racket, sending the psychic child over to Incineroar.
"And please don't work with an irrationally angry person ever again," the Heel Pokémon finished. Incineroar then sent Ness upwards with an uppercut, where Wario would slam the back of his head into the psychic pest. Waluigi sent Ness back to Wario with a kick, Wario sent Ness back to Waluigi with a punch, Waluigi sent Ness back by... doing the Sonic Adventure pose, and finally Wario sent Ness back down to the stage with another punch. Before Ness even had the chance to squirm in a sad attempt to get back up, Incineroar picked the psychopathic brat up.
"How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes..." Ness sang.
"It's happening to you because you sided with an angry little moron," Wario pointed out. Incineroar started spinning Ness around, causing the boy to start spewing out vomit everywhere. Some of the vomit flew off into the blast zones before appearing in the control room. Dark Pit and Isabelle returned to the control room, only to get covered in Ness's vomit as soon as they stepped in. Incineroar then finally tossed Ness into the nearest blast zone, taking him out of the match.
~Final Destination (Ver. 2) stops~
"Incredibly unimpressive since you only got past our glorious defense thanks to that stupid weapon of yours," Pichu remarked, now wearing a suit of white armor and holding a knight helmet. "Still, you managed to take care of those two, so I must use my secret weapon... this special suit of armor! Crafted by my own hands, this armor will not only make me harder to send flying, but..."
~Bouncy Wario from Wario Land 2 starts to play~
As Pichu kept rambling, Wario was reading "How To Ignore People 101", Waluigi was flossing his teeth, and Incineroar was just standing there, smiling at Pichu.
"Waa, you hearing somethin'?" Wario asked Waluigi.
"No," Waluigi answered.
"... and not only will this armor give me better control of my electrical attacks, but it will enhance said electrical attacks!" Pichu continued.
~Bouncy Wario stops~
"But enough talk. Prepare to face the wrath of an armored Pichu that isn't held back by both a gimmick that forces me to inflict damage upon myself and by moves that I can't even actually use normally! That Master Hand's grip on the reality of these stages is go-"
... And then Incineroar tossed the diamond hoe she got earlier. Once the diamond hoe smacked Pichu in the face, the Special Zoom effect from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate occurred around Pichu. Moments later, the Tiny Mouse Pokémon flew into the blast zone in the blink of an eye, and the diamond hoe boomeranged back to Incineroar.
~Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy (PSX) starts to play~
"And the winner is... Wario! Waluigi! And Incineroar!" Arvis exclaimed despite still being unamused. The victorious trio danced and cheered, even as they reappeared in the control room. Dedede, Bandana Dee, Bowser, and the TNT Yeeter joined in on the dancing while Ferrothorn started flying around while happily screaming.
"Fuck everything," Dark Pit cursed.
"Stupid cheating morons and their incorrect opinions..." Pichu growled. Pichu, Young Link, Ness, Isabelle, and Dark Pit left the building as the dancing started to come to an end.
"Waa haa! We won!" Wario exclaimed.
"We showed that irritating rat what for!" Waluigi added.
"We got to have fun!" Incineroar replied.
"I get to finally leave," Arvis groaned in his normal voice. The TNT Yeeter started making a bunch of skeleton noises again...
~Victory Fanfare stops~
... before pulling out what seemed to be another TNT block. Everyone in the room screamed and left in a matter of seconds, leaving only the TNT Yeeter behind. The newborn creature brought the block down to eye level, staring at the tiny words "Victory Cake" that was were the word "TNT" would usually be. The TNT Yeeter let out a single tear the cake's candle somehow lit itself.
XxXx
The moon was spinning around the Smash World, with an Iron Golem spinning on it. Not too far away from the Iron Golem was the human Wario, Waluigi and the gang first encounter during the brawl with the shadow creatures two years ago and the Mushroom World penguin that somehow appeared on the moon during the Waluigi clone invasion. The human was on a laptop while the penguin, whose eyes had bags under them, chugged down coffee.
"You know, weird penguin thing... maybe you're right. Maybe I do go on and on way too much about the problems I have with certain Fire Emblem games. And maybe the issues I do have aren't as extreme as I set them out to be," the human admitted.
"Oh thank the Beanstar! You finally figured it out! It's about ti-" the penguin said before the human interrupted.
"And I should be targeting that shitty Wario and that equally shitty Waluigi! Those fuckers were the ones that sent me into space and nearly killed me!"
"UGH! YOU ALREADY TOLD ME THAT STORY! Several times!"
"I don't give a shit! And you know what else I don't give a shit about?! The reason why those fuckers sent me here and their opinions! All I care about now is just the fact that they ruined and nearly ended my life! And that they're ugly as hell! Especially because they're ugly as hell!"
"I wish my life would end right now," the penguin thought to itself.
"I wish there was some way I could go back to that damn planet and get my hands around those fucker's necks!"
"Oh, you want a way back?! I have a way to send you back!" The penguin then grabbed the human by the legs and spun him around over and over. The Iron Golem spun closer to the penguin as well. After a few more spins, the penguin chucked the human all the way out of the moon's gravity and over towards the Death Egg.
"FUCK EVERYTHING!" the human screeched. He flew into one of the Death Egg's gates before it shut. After bouncing on the floor and landing in another room, the human slowly lifted his head.
~Tension Before A Confrontation from Metroid Fusion starts to play~
The human was greeted with the sight of a huge Death Egg Robot with the words "Death Egg Robot Egg-treme" on its belly. The human slowly smiled a malicious smile.
"On second thought... don't fuck everything. No... there's some things that don't deserve to get fucked... and some that do."
XxXx
~Tension Before A Confrontation stops as Disco Train starts again~
"I agree, only s-some things... HIC! Deserve to get fucked! Like m-me!" Anna uttered, drunkenly walking around the Raveyard's dance floor.
"H-huh? Wha?" Snake questioned, his body bending over backwards.
"Yes," Anna answered.
"Yes," Snake repeated. The two drunk perverts fell to the floor, with Duck Hunt Dog, SpongeBob, and Patrick staring at them with a confused look afterwards.
